This morning's random song encounters.

1. I woke up and looked at the phone to see that it was 4 in the morning, and it made me think of that Paul Simon song with the soaring line "4 in the morning/Crapped out/Yawning/Longing my life away." I found it on Spotify and played it through headphones, then found this version by Karen Carpenter (singing "crashed out" for "crapped out"):

2. On the way to the sunrise, the car played Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide," which has the line "Even children get older/Now I'm getting older too." Meade said aborted children don't get older, and it made me think of that Byrds recording of a Pete Seeger song with the line "I'm only 7 although I died/In Hiroshima, long ago/I'm 7 now as I was then/When children die, they do not grow":

3. I was reading the news about the dismantling of the "autonomous zone" here in Madison, including a letter said to be from the family of the man who, it seems, drew a knife on the police and was shot to death. It said: "We are entrusting The Pressure Movement" and "We are working directly with The Pressure Movement." What's the Pressure Movement? This song played in my head:

"When I was younger, I definitely felt smug about how much money I was saving. I felt like I was doing something secretly smart..."

"... living this ultrafrugal lifestyle in preparation for a day when I wouldn’t have to answer to anyone but myself. But I don’t feel that way anymore. If I drop dead of a heart attack tomorrow, most of my friends will have had more fun in their lives than I had in mine. Right now, I’m playing catch-up on fun. But I’m still pretty far behind...."

From "She Retired at 35. The Only Problem? It’s Lonely" (NY Magazine).

"And only since I retired have I started looking hard at what achieving all this shit was actually going to do for me. What emotional need was I trying to meet? My ambition level, the way I used to think of it, is now gone. But what did it serve?... I have a lifetime goal to foster and adopt out 100 animals, and I’m three-quarters there already.... I am not bored or underchallenged at all. I feel like I am busier than I’ve ever been, just with different things. I have the flexibility to help my friends with their kids, which — as I don’t plan to have kids — is pure joy...."

"Casper weighed a little over 104 pounds at the time, which means the boy — who was 4 feet 2 inches tall when he died — gained roughly 150 pounds in less than two years. His diet consisted largely of potato chips and French fries...."

From "Michigan Couple Are Charged With Murder After Death of Morbidly Obese Son/Seven-year-old Casper O’Brien weighed 255 pounds when he died last year. Prosecutors said he was bedridden and subsisted on little more than snack foods" (NYT).

"[Elon Musk] is reported to have told one of his children’s mothers he wants to use surrogates to 'reach legion level.'"

"In the meantime, he has goaded the competition. In response to a post about [Russian billionaire Pavel] Durov notching triple-digit offspring, Mr. Musk replied, '"Rookie numbers lmao" — Genghis Khan,' a nod to the Mongol leader’s supposed millions of descendants. What drives these men to reproduce at an industrial scale? Mr. Musk’s reference to Genghis Khan holds one clue.... Like kings of earlier eras who claimed divine lineage, many of these men hold their own bloodlines in exalted regard. Mr. Musk, who in 2021 changed his job title at Tesla to 'technoking,' has said he wants smart people — or even just rich people, according to a report in Business Insider — to have more children. One of the mothers of his offspring, an executive in his business, told his biographer that he encouraged her to have kids and suggested he be her sperm donor...."

From "Is Kidmaxxing the Ultimate Status Symbol for Ultimate Wealth?" (NYT).

"Technoking" is not a gerund. I can't believe I spent time trying to understand "to technok" as a verb. The "ing" goes with the K. It's "Techno King."

You know, "nok" isn't just the NYSE stock ticker for Nokia. It's the genus of the bare-faced bulbul (Nok hualon). The Nok were an ancient African people, known for their terra cotta sculptures.

And never forget the Nixies — Danish: nøkke, Norwegian: nøkk, Swedish: näck; Icelandic: nykur, Faroese: nykur; Finnish: näkki. These were "male water spirits who play enchanted songs on instruments, luring women and children to drown in lakes or streams." 

So, ladies, resist the nøkk, the techo-nøkk, the technoking. No kings! No nøkkings. Maintain a no-nøkk policy.

"So when in middle school other kids began to tease and bully Evan, saying that his channel was 'cringe' and that he was too old to be playing with toys, Evan was taken aback...."

"He recalled that in middle school, haters in the comments called him 'spoiled,' and people told him things he had never considered before. His parents were 'taking advantage' of him, they said, or 'using you for money,' Evan told me. 'That definitely made me feel sad. Like, sad-angry.' He started telling his parents he didn’t want to review toys anymore and withdrew to his room....  'I had to really make a case to my parents,' he told me. 'It took them time to understand that I was growing up.'...  In middle school, when Evan had the impulse to post on Twitter that he was 'really sad,' his parents discouraged him. 'You don’t need to let the internet know all of your emotions,' he remembered them saying.... "

From "When a Child’s Life Becomes the Family Business/Evan Lee, better known as EvanTube, still had his baby teeth when he became an influencer. Now he’s ready to reflect on what that kind of exposure meant" (NYT).

"You can get married at the New York Marble Cemetery on Second Avenue/The Balloon Saloon in Tribeca has the best gag gifts and the biggest fake poops in town."

"Avoid trampoline parks at all costs. Throw a less chaotic kids’ party instead at Twinkle PlaySpace in Williamsburg. For $399, hire NY Teacup Piggies to bring in three piglets for the young partygoers to play with.... Call Beverly Fish at Chezzam for out-of-the-box entertainment — think actors in rat costumes serving a cheese platter.... You can hire a babysitter to walk your child (ages 4 to 15) from school to your home (or wherever they need to go) using the service Trot My Tot. You’ll pay a maximum of $25 per hour.... Cheeky tweens tend to enjoy the 'butt scavenger hunt' at the Brooklyn Museum; ask for it at admissions.... "

From "259 Things New Yorkers Should Know/The second edition of our annual handbook will help you make the most of the city" (NY Magazine).

I looked up the "butt scavenger hunt" so you don't have to:

"It seems like a kind of arms race. You have people becoming more and more assertive about including dogs everywhere and then..."

"... on the other side, people becoming more and more assertive about their resistance to having dogs everywhere."

Says Jessica Pierce, "a bioethicist studying human-dog relations," quoted in "Where Does a Dog Belong? In restaurants or grocery stores? Tensions between canine lovers and other New Yorkers are boiling over" (New York Magazine).

“If there wasn’t dog shit all over the sidewalks, then I don’t think dogs would necessarily be coming to a boiling point,” one Greenpoint dog owner in his early 40s reflected. It wasn’t as though he had never pushed the boundaries with his 50-pound supermutt. Yet if he didn’t always follow the letter of the law, he believed he observed the spirit, though he understood that not everyone agreed. Recently, he’d been in Transmitter Park with his dog — who, yes, was off-leash, but people do that there — when a guy in the playground area with his kid leaned over the fence. “He was not even in the vicinity of where my dog was,” he says. “He said, ‘Excuse me, you see the sign? It says NO DOGS.’ And I kind of looked at him like, Hey, you must be new here.” Why did he feel so entitled, the guy wanted to know. “And so I told him, ‘Hey, man, you’re here with your family, and I’m here with my family.” In seemingly every argument, someone brings up children. “Well, my dog,” someone inevitably says, “is better behaved and less disruptive and more pleasant than your disgusting child.”...

AND: From the comments over there:

"Father God, dispatch your angels to encamp all around them."

Video going viral of kids going to their pastor’s home asking for prayers after seeing something upsetting. pic.twitter.com/RHlcAwLTbI

— Juanita Broaddrick (@atensnut) March 31, 2026

"5 things society makes a big deal about that don't have to be that important" and "21 more things I love about being single and living alone."

It might be dangerous — especially for the young — to consume these 2 lists in sequence. It might be what "they" don't want you to know.... 

ADDED: These are Tiktok videos and I'm having trouble embedding them. So: the first one is here and the second one is here.

"It’s easy to look at $3 million in damages ordered to be paid by a company that makes billions every quarter and say, 'does this really matter?'"

"But if only a fraction of one per cent of teenagers in the United States are impacted at this serious level, that ends up being a trillion dollars of damages, not even considering punitive damages."

Said Frances Haugen, quoted in "Facebook whistleblower: Meta now faces a Big Tobacco-style ‘reckoning’ exclusive/In 2021, Frances Haugen revealed her former employer was getting users hooked on damaging social media. Now she tells The Times: 'A thousand flowers will bloom from this'" (London Times).

"They say history doesn’t repeat, but often it rhymes,' she told the Times. 'The rhyming beats between this and tobacco are just too loud for nothing to happen now. All other industries that have had the level of societal impact that Meta has had have faced a reckoning much sooner.... I think Meta understands that if they have to stop serving under-16-year-olds — or maybe even under-18-year-olds depending on how over barrel they end up being — the future of their company is over.... I am not a prohibitionist when it comes to this.... But I believe in the power of negotiation. These platforms have basically felt like they were able to negotiate from a position of strength. Now, they have to sit down at the table and discuss how to provide their services more responsibly."

"They cut off the internet. No blogs. No channels.... We don't want it. We don't want it. You won't find us on line."

"We don't sit. We don't sit on your internet. We don't want it. We don't want it. Don't sit. Don't sit there. I declare a whole year of everything turned upside down."

Russia's main TV channel is airing songs about how great life is without the internet. Getting even closer to North Korea. pic.twitter.com/KS2Hur0ioc

— WarTranslated (@wartranslated) March 20, 2026

"Your need for approval is like a sickness."

A gem of meaning at 3:14 in this video of the opening of the Oscars show last night.

Not having seen the movies, I experienced this noisy cluttered barrage of vignettes as ugly chaos. It reminded me — with jarring pokes and jabs — why I don't want to see new movies anymore. Why was Conan in overdone makeup that made him look like a very ugly woman? Why did animated Conan develop stars in his eyes for 3 adolescent girls? Why were children screaming and chasing him? He stops for a moment to speak Norwegian and examine whether his need for approval is like a sickness and then the children screaming chase him out of the psychoanalytic dark Norwegian room. It's back to the noisy cluttered barrage that is Hollywood as Conan runs into the theater. I don't know what movie those children were supposed to represent, so I was just thinking generically of Hollywood's exploitation of children. How did the children become the monsters? Or were they running from monsters and Conan running with them, not away from them? At least tell a clear story. But no, I think this years stories were about chaos and raw fear and uncomprehended monsters. 

"The Birthrate Is Plunging. Why Some Say That’s a Good Thing. The political class is worried about the historic drop. But..."

"... the biggest change is among the youngest women, who are the least ready to have children."

Headline at the NYT.

I get the "good thing" interpretation, but it's also a bad thing, isn't it? The older women, with their greater emotional maturity and economic independence, are not only more able to care for children, they are also more able to think through the whole enterprise of child bearing and child care, to weigh the pros and cons and forgo it altogether. Isn't that what is happening?

"As a kid, I was part of a youth theater repertory... this intense acting coach came to class, and after I performed a scene she told me with this terrible sneer..."

"... that all I’d ever be was funny and charming. It took me until I was 35 to realize that: (1) I wasn’t that charming; (2) I was also a whole lot more than charming; and (3) it takes an especially miserable adult to tell a child what he can and cannot be."

Says "Grant Ginder Read One Novel 7 Times While Writing His Own/James Salter’s 'Light Years' had a big influence on 'So Old, So Young,' his new book about college friends drifting in and out of one another’s lives" (NYT).

I liked his answer to the old question "You’re organizing a literary dinner party. Which three writers, dead or alive, do you invite?"

I’m supposed to say Jane Austen, Sophocles and a Finnish novelist no one’s heard of, but actually the literary dinner party I want to attend already happened. It’s the one mentioned in a recent Times article where Joan Didion refused to give Nora Ephron her recipe for Mexican Chicken. I’d die to see that.

"It's about what happens when you let athletes be themselves and put their own joy first..."

Explaining the Alysa Liu story:

"Since becoming a parent, I’ve gotten used to scrolling past videos of babies gnawing on everything from bone marrow to full-size steaks."

"But lately, the babies on my feed are munching on a new snack: whole sticks of butter. On TikTok, parents are handing their 1-year-olds blocks of Kerrygold to gnaw on while they grocery shop and freezing sticks of butter to help with teething. To hear these moms tell it, butter from grass-fed cows is 'the best snack for babies no one talks about' and a miracle food that can supercharge their brain development. In one video, a mother films herself putting a pat of butter directly into her infant’s mouth. “My kids love butter and I let them eat as much as they want,” she wrote in the caption. After cutting up slabs of butter as a late-night snack, another mom yells to her kids, 'Come get your treat!'"

From "Parents Are Feeding Their Babies So Much Butter" (NY Magazine).

I was there 40 years before it was trendy. See "Back in the days when boys ate butter like it was candy."

"The urge to bring back old words is evergreen..."

"... general interest articles on the subject abound, and the political landscape inspires regular pleas on social media to restore potent pejoratives such as 'lummox,' 'bloviate,' 'bumptious' and 'hoodwink.' Some requests are whimsical, too, like that of a user on Bluesky who suggested, 'We should bring back the word "spake," e.g. "Thus spake my friend Jeff."'... Whether these campaigns are sincere or silly, we may be closer to a wordy renaissance than we think.... Henry David Thoreau’s 19th-century coinage, 'brain-rot,' is now the ruin of modern minds. Calling someone a 'goon' is no longer just a 1920s habit. We’re saying 'sheesh' again, apparently, and even the president has spoken of skedaddling. Is there a science to this kind of resurgence?"

I'm reading "Why Kids Are Starting to Sound Like Their Grandparents/The strange resurgence of words like 'yap' and 'skedaddle'" (NYT).

1. I'm all for reaching out to more unusual and interesting words and fighting the tendency to withdraw into a smaller and smaller vocabulary. I hope these kids today are doing it because it's fun, it's mind-sharpening, and it's aesthetically pleasing. We're not talking here about showing off or making other people feel dumb, I don't think. This isn't a William F. Buckley move.

2. "Bloviate" — just a few days ago, I had a post titled "Bloviate." It's a Warren G. Harding word. Harding was born in 1865, so he's hardly at the grandparent level for today's "kids." More like great-great grandparent or even great-great-great grandparent. As for Henry David Thoreau, he was born in 1817, so that would put him at the great-great-great or great-great-great-great level. But he's no one's great-great-etc. grandfather. Like so many of these kids today, he was childless.

3. Did Thoreau ever opine about kids? Yes: "Children appear to me as raw as the fresh fungi on a fence rail." More aptly, on the subject of whether one ought to have children: "The only excuse for reproduction is improvement. Nature abhors repetition. Beasts merely propagate their kind, but the offspring of noble men & women will be superior to themselves, as their aspirations are."

4. I didn't remember that "brain-rot" — 2024's Word of the Year — came from Thoreau.

"Antinatalism Explained."

I'm not endorsing this idea, and I can even see why one would want not merely to resist but to actively suppress it, but I would recommend courageously hearing out the argument. It's quite challenging, but why is it wrong?

Related: there's a big new movie out about the Shakers:

"Advocates of Fafo say it teaches their child independence and the consequences of their actions, even if those consequences are uncomfortable or..."

"... at the extreme end, harsh. Critics say it relies too heavily on fear and humiliation, and that while children might comply as a result, it damages trust. Done properly, however, there isn’t much to separate the styles: true gentle parenting embraces boundaries and consequences, and Fafo doesn’t have to be punishing. But this is online-influenced child rearing, where extremes are pushed, nuance is out and polarisation is in...."

From "The rise of Fafo parenting: is this the end of gentle child rearing?" (The Guardian), which links to this widely shared example of the parenting style:

"This was not a date, but a meeting to see if they could be successful co-parents — two adults with no expectations of maintaining a relationship..."

"... outside the shared raising of a child (or two or three). 'A co-parent doesn’t need to be my romantic partner,' said Ms. Reid, who would like to have a child before she turns 36. She added that she spent the dinner looking for stability and shared values with the stranger rather than flirty chemistry. 'They need to be a great teammate.' Interest in platonic co-parenting is growing, with specialty apps experiencing substantial growth over the last few years. Modamily, the app Ms. Reid is using, connects people looking to start a family through dating, sperm donation or platonic co-parenting. In 2020, the app reported having 30,000 users registered to the platform. By 2025, that number was 100,000...."

From "In Search of a Platonic Co-Parent/Platforms that match partners in procreation are experiencing a post-pandemic uptick" (NYT)(gift link).