Shoes, Bush.

Do we have to talk about this? Which angle?

1. Why can't the Secret Service fully protect the President? Shouldn't this threat have been anticipated?

2. Shoes are considered a terrible insult in the Iraqi culture blah blah blah....

ADDED: More video via commenter EDH:

You voted. I saw 2 movies: "Slumdog Millionaire" and "Australia."

You could have sent me to "Rachel Getting Married," "Milk," "Synecdoche, New York," or "Let the Right One In," but you chose "Slumdog Millionaire" and "Australia." 

I'll say a few things comparing the 2 movies, and I'll keep this spoiler free.

1. Both movies have an in-your-face sense of place. "Slumdog Millionaire," showing us India, has us running all over the slums of Bombay and touring the Taj Mahal. I get it. It's India. "Australia" fills the screen with the map of Australia and giant red rocks and expanses of dry wasteland. Yeah, that's Australia. 

 

2. Both movies tell an elaborately plotted story through the eyes of a little boy. In "Slumdog," the boy, Jamal, plunges into a pool of shit to get his story going, and in "Australia," the boy, Nullah, plunges into a water tank to advance the plot. Our hearts are, of course, supposed to mesh with the heart of the central child character. This is a time-worn method of emotional manipulation, but it works pretty well in both movies. Both boys, for all their troubles, are magically lucky.

3. Both movies have lovers who are torn apart and brought together repeatedly, and both have key scenes where there is a lot of violent chaos and the lovers are running around looking for each other as time is about to run out. Both movies have big close-up kisses that seem to be about the cinematic history of big close-up kisses. There's no real fire between the lovers in either movie. They are big, pretty movie-star heads, but I didn't for one second believe I was looking at 2 human beings who were passionately in love with each other.

4. Both movies weave in a very familiar work of American pop culture. The whole story of "Slumdog Millionaire" is framed by a single performance on the Indian version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." This is the coolest thing about the movie and is extremely well done -- using flashbacks and quiz questions that relate to the past. "Australia" is strewn with references to the movie "The Wizard of Oz" that come and go and don't really pay off very well. Wishing, home... whatever. But it is pretty amusing when Nicole Kidman's character awkwardly and abysmally tries to tell the Oz story and sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" to the boy and manages to inspire him in spite of her inadequacies.

5. Both movies have bathtubs. I'm slightly obsessed with the prominence of bathtubs in the movies. You'd think the most interesting thing in the world was a woman in a damned bath. "Australia" has the conventional lead actress taking a bath for no good reason. Hmm... 2 characters have to have a conversation. Let's put the woman in the bathtub. Depending on what rating you want, it will either be a bubble bath or it won't. It's embarrassing. "Slumdog Millionaire" has a memorably unusual use of the bathtub, so that was fine.

6. Things "Australia" has more of: cattle, horses, spears, bombs, airplanes, ships, sentimentality, pectoral muscles, drunk guys, fistfights, aborigines, contracts. Things "Slumdog Millionaire" has more of: shit, TV, doing laundry, guns, beggars, torture.

7. "Slumdog Millionaire" was a lot shorter and a lot better. "Australia" was a big epic that was completely old-fashioned except to the extent that there was supposed to be something hip about being intentionally old-fashioned. I'd rather watch "The African Queen" again, and if I need some hipness, let me watch it with hip people and we'll say hip things.

0° in Madison.

Right now, still pre-dawn.

I think of the law students who must endure another 8:30 a.m. exam. The exams are always at 8:30 a.m. -- a tough time for a young person. It's easy for us oldsters to be up and sharp at dawn. I could do an exam at 6 a.m. What's the problem?! But I remember the problem. How do you get yourself to sleep at all, knowing the exam is that early?

But the exam is early, and to make matters worse it's 0° here in Madison. Yesterday, it was in the 40s, and that was an exam day too. Yes, exams on Sundays. In fact, it was my Religion & the Constitution exam on Sunday. We love our ironies.

But better a Sunday exam in the 40s, than a Monday exam at 0. That's what I would think. Or does that zerosity jump-start your brain?

George Brecht composed "Drip Music": "a source of water and an empty vessel are arranged so that the water falls into the vessel."

He'd write an "event score" -- "printed on a small white card that he would mail to friends.... Mr. Brecht said that he did not care if any of his event scores were realized and that he did not think that there was a correct way to perform one."



Back in the 1950s, when Jackson Pollock was painting (doing things with paint), you had to ask yourself: What is the next step? First, Brecht tried painting "using chance operations and materials like bed sheets, ink and marbles." But it's better -- is it not? -- to rid yourself of the paint altogether, and then rid yourself of the work itself: Just write a brief description on a card.

In those days, there were no blogs. But it was like blogging, no? A few words on a blank white rectangle are enough.

And yet, there are all those serious people in that video clip with their microphones and watering cans. Are they any less annoying than mimes? And if you're going to perform this minimal, quiet music, you've got to find a space that isn't horrifically overwhelmed with the mechanical noise of a forced air system that drowns out the dripping.

But the dripping goes on whether you hear it or not, and now the last drop has dribbled out for George Brecht, the Fluxus artist.

Dead at age 82.

If you think Blagojevich was arrested so early in the investigation to stop a crime from being committed, you're wrong.

Says the WSJ. Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation team would have preferred to let the sale of the Senate seat go through and to catch the crime on tape. In fact, the timing of the arrest was dictated by the Chicago Tribune:

At Fitzgerald’s request, the paper had been holding back a story since October detailing how a confidante of Blagojevich was cooperating with his office.

But editors decided to publish the story on Friday, Dec. 5... : “Feds taped Blagojevich; TRIBUNE EXCLUSIVE: Adviser cooperated with corruption probe, sources say.”

Blagojevich read the same headline. “Undo” that “thing,” the governor allegedly told his brother, according to the FBI. And just like that, the meeting was off, only one day after it had been put back into play.

IN THE COMMENTS: Darcy says:

I never thought that.

I do have a suspicion that the Tribune didn't want it to go any further, though. Time to warn the Democrats and protect Obama?

A poll -- and I'm deliberately depriving you of the weaselly "both" answer:

What is the main reason the Chigago Tribune decided to reveal the wiretap?
	For its own advantage -- to get more readers.
	To warn Democrats who were about to fall into the trap.
pollcode.com free polls

Let's read AG Lisa Madigan's brief against Governor Blagojevich.

Here's the PDF of the brief filed with the Illinois Supreme Court. As explained in previous posts, Madigan's attempt to oust the Illinois governor relies on Article V, Section 6 of the Illinois constitution:

If the Governor is unable to serve because of death, conviction on impeachment, failure to qualify, resignation or other disability, the office of Governor shall be filled by the officer next in line of succession for the remainder of the term or until the disability is removed.

Madigan needs to establish that Blagojevich's political and legal troubles amount to an "other disability" within the meaning of that text.

The legal argument in the brief is embarrassingly inadequate, quoting the dictionary meaning of "disabled" and saying over and over again that the meaning is "plain" and the "plain meaning" governs. (If I could do a word search on that PDF, I'd count the number of times the word "plain" is repeated. Just for a laugh.)

And that's the extent of the argument about the meaning of the constitutional text.

Madigan sweeps aside a quote from the debate about the provision that shows the framers intended "other disability" to refer to "physical or mental capacity." And she says nothing about the procedural safeguards of the impeachment process or the reasons why courts should or should not involve themselves in political questions.

ADDED: Beldar -- who links here -- says:

Even though it would remove the reins of power from the hands of a crook, using the "disability" provision of the Illinois constitution in lieu of impeachment would be legally, politically, and intellectually illegitimate....

That Blagojevich is a banal, petty crook has been "obvious" to anyone who cared to see such things long before he was indicted and arrested. Under a practical, common-sense standard, that should have been obvious to the voters of Illinois who nevertheless elected and then re-elected him.

But elections have consequences. Among them is the fact that once a crook is elected, constitutional niceties must be observed to remedy the situation.

Exactly! Of course, Beldar also thinks Blagojevich ought to resign, and I certainly agree. And he has a lot more than that to say, which you ought to go over and read. He's critical not just of Madigan and Blagojevich, but also of the legislators and the voters in Illinois who -- as the saying goes -- "got the government they deserve."

I also really liked this comment by Chicago Sun-Times columnist Mary Mitchell, on this morning's "Meet the Press," on the difference between what Blagojevich is accused of and the sort of trading favors that happens all the time in politics:

Reality check. Pay to play, everybody knows it, even--not just in politics. Office politics, pay to play. You know, if you know the boss and the -- and you, you, you need something from the boss, he's going to look around and find the person going to do him the most good. He's not going to hire -- you know, put somebody in a place of power that isn't doing him any good. That's the world. That's how the world works. But there is a line. You got to know how to play the game. And Blagojevich, Governor Blagojevich was tacky in playing the game. That's what people are upset about. They're embarrassed that this man had the nerve to get caught on the wiretap using foul language, actually giving voice to, you know, the wink and the nod thing. He didn't just wink and nod, he actually tried to shake people down, according to the wiretaps.

Governor Blagojevich was tacky in playing the game. And he got recorded saying dirty words.

"At an age at which I should be putting on a wedding dress, I am asking for someone's eyes to be dripped with acid."

An eye for an eye, in Iran.

[A] spurned suitor poured a bucket of sulfuric acid over [Ameneh Bahrami's] head, leaving her blind and disfigured....

Courts usually order families of the accused to pay "blood money" for the crimes. But Bahrami insisted on the punishment. She had several meetings with the head of Iran's judiciary, Ayatollah Mahmoud Hashemi Shahroudi, who tends to favor less strict interpretations of Islamic law.

"Shahroudi really pressed me to demand blood money instead of retribution. He explained that such a sentence would cause lots of bad publicity for Iran. But I refused," she said.

ADDED: Surely, Shahroudi must know that Iran gets bad publicity for these "blood money" punishments -- which look more like our tort remedies. It's a crime. Put that man in prison for a long, long time if you want our respect.

The Blagosmear on Obama.

Does O deserve that? Once, new Presidents got a "honeymoon" -- even after they took office. But there's no honeymoon for Obama, who's been plagued all along by one bad friend after another.

(Video via Andrew Malcolm, via Instapundit.)

Yesterday, I let you force me to see the movie "Slumdog Millionaire."

You can read my thoughts on the thing at the update to the post where I took the poll. It's another dreary day here in Madison, Wisconsin -- raining, actually -- and I thought I'd do a new poll and accept another assignment:

The new movie assignment is:
	"Synecdoche, New York"
	"Australia"
	"Let the Right One In"
	"Rachel Getting Married"
	"Milk"
pollcode.com free polls

"You painters do harm, and if you knew the resulting scandal you wouldn’t paint figures such as these, filling our churches with human vanity."

"Do you really think the Virgin Mary went around dressed as you depict her? I assure you she dressed like a poor girl, simply and modestly, and was so well-covered that all you could see were her eyes....”

IN THE COMMENTS: Sir Archy, our 250+ years-dead ghost, makes an appearance.

"Don't be a fool! Close this book at once!"

That's the warning from the title page of "The Book of Bokonon," the sacred text from the made-up religion that is referred to and quoted in various places in the Kurt Vonnegut novel "Cat's Cradle." This website collects all the quotations and, to the extent possible, puts them in order.

"I believe in God and Senator Dodd."

I read the opening lines of Calvin Trillin's op-ed -- written in June 2006, but featured on the NYT website this morning as an op-ed "classic":

MY excitement at the news that Senator Chris Dodd, Democrat of Connecticut, is considering a bid for president in 2008 is easy to explain: his name has enormous rhyming potential. We all have our own issues.

And it took me back to the 60s, when Dodd's dad was a Senator and Phil Ochs used the line I've put in my title in "Draft Dodger Rag," which you can listen to here or buy the album "I Ain't Marching Anymore." Lyrics here:

Oh, I'm just a typical American boy from a typical American town
I believe in God and Senator Dodd and a-keepin' old Castro down
And when it came my time to serve I knew "better dead than red"
But when I got to my old draft board, buddy, this is what I said....

The original "chicken hawk" song (I think).

But the subject is poetry and names. Trillin has made his career in part out of writing light verse with a high proportion of famous names:

Someone in my position tends to see Ross Perot and John McCain as two peas in a pod — blessedly iambic candidates with nearly unlimited rhyming possibilities. During my 16 years in the deadline poetry game, though, we've had nobody with a name like Ross Perot or John McCain in the White House. I've had to deal with presidents whose names are an affront to rhyme and meter. Given the rhyming difficulties of Bill Clinton's name, in fact, I believe future historians will think of him as the "orange" of American presidents.

I think of him as the banana of Presidents, but it's all a matter of how you look at things.

Just the other day, in this comments thread to that post about whether lawprofs should call students by their first names, we got to talking about the poetic limitations of some names. I said: "[T]here are no pop songs about 'Ann.' Actually, there are few pop songs with one-syllable names."

With this, Pogo proved me wrong and exposed my inadequate knowledge of the 1960s, to which I'll plead guilty, eschewing the defense that if you can remember, you weren't there.

I looked into your cool cool eyes
I felt so fine, I felt so fine
I floated in your swimming pools
I felt so weak, I felt so blue

If you want to rhyme, rhyme. If you don't, don't. ← inferred Stooge theory of poetry.

Back to Trillin, who despite his name, didn't sing his lyrics (as far as I know). Trillin's had trouble with the current administration:

At times George W. Bush has seemed interested in making my life easier. He must have known before the appointments were made, for instance, that Condoleezza Rice's name fits exactly into the meter of "The March of the Siamese Children" from "The King and I" ("Condoleezza Rice, who is cold as ice, is precise with her advice") and that Alberto Gonzales rhymes with "loyal über alles."

And he fretted over the names coming up in 2008:

In my more pessimistic contemplations of the 2008 campaign, I see myself telling some political operative that I've made my peace with the possibility that the Democrats, desperate for some charisma, could turn to Barack Obama — a man whose rhymes I long ago used up in trying to deal with Osama bin Laden.

"But Obama's not the only Illinois contender," the operative says. "There's also the governor."

"The governor?"

"The governor," he repeats. "Rod Blagojevich."

Okay, then. Let's see the poems. Roll out your "-itch" words, you bitch.

IN THE COMMENTS: JohnJEnright composes this:

He desired the joy
of being rich.

He devised a ploy,
but it hit a hitch.

Weep, Illinois,
for Blagojevich.

AND: More commenters are itching for frontpaging. First, bearbee:

Blagojevich
Chicago jock itch
Who tried to get rich
By auditioning off a niche
And ended in an FBI hitch
Now when will he turn and snitch

And Palladian (presumably sung to the tune of "The Munchkin Song"):

Blagojevich, you bitch,
Will scratch you where you itch
and name you to the Senate seat that Barry O did ditch.

But wait! Hold on!
There's just a little hitch!
A Senate seat is valuable! He's trying to get rich.

So here's the pitch!
Pay up you fucking bitch!
And just forget Pat Fitz and Lisa Madigan, that witch!

Blago-jevich!
Payola is his niche!
A suitcase full of unmarked bills, nobody's gonna snitch!

But who will stop
this monumental kitsch?
Corruption that would cause even Jack Abramoff to twitch!

Fitch? No, Fitz!
in a prosecutor blitz
will smash the Illinois machine to tiny little bits!

"Wary of ideas ..."

"...perpetually on guard against the ways in which abstract thinking (especially thinking about your own thinking) can draw you away from something more genuine and real..."

Was this a bad year for ideas?

The annual "year in ideas" issue of the NYT Magazine seems so much less interesting this year. Is it me? Is it the slideshow format? Or was there something about this past year? Do you think ideas are not the delicious, crisp morsels they once were?

Click image for animation.

It's Jacksonman.

Superhero/super villain.