"All people deserve to be treated with dignity. If someone identifies as non-binary, I will respect that choice. I cannot, however..."

"... happily countenance the willful disregard of grammar required to refer to a single person by a plural pronoun. Why not use, 'one,' or, 'it,' or simply the proper name of the person in question?... There seems to be a fundamental contradiction between advocates for non-binary, who argue that gender roles are a socially-imposed order that needs to be, 'destroyed,' and advocates for the trans community, who argue that gender identity is innate and that trans people should be acknowledged as full members of categories into which they do not biologically fit. Can this divide please please get resolved before the other 99% of us are called insensitive for not understanding how to proceed and we start changing laws to reflect the new convention?"

That's the second-most-liked comment on "Which Box Do You Check? Some States Are Offering a Nonbinary Option/As nonbinary teenagers push for driver’s licenses that reflect their identity, a fraught debate over the nature of gender has arrived in the nation’s statehouses" (NYT), which begins with the grammar issue:

Ever since El Martinez started asking to be called by the gender-neutral pronouns "they/them" in the ninth grade, they have fielded skepticism in a variety of forms and from a multitude of sources about what it means to identify as nonbinary.

There are faculty advisers on El’s theater crew who balk at using “they” for one person; classmates at El’s public school on the outskirts of Boston who insist El can’t be “multiple people”; and commenters on El’s social media feeds who dismiss nonbinary gender identities like androgyne (a combination of masculine and feminine), agender (the absence of gender) and gender-fluid (moving between genders) as lacking a basis in biology.

The first-most-liked comment is: "We absolutely should adopt the views of teenagers. Who knows more about life than they?"

ADDED: The NYT article has this:

Over the last few months, lawmakers have sought — not always successfully — to use the singular “they” when introducing nonbinary constituents who have appeared to testify. The elected officials have listened to tutorials on the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity (the former is who you go to bed with, the latter is who you go to bed as); to pleas for compassion from parents who have learned to refer to their children as “my kid” rather than “son” or “daughter”; and to why being called by binary pronouns feels, as Kayden Reff (they/them), 15, of Bethesda, Md., put it in testimony read by their mother, “as though ice is being poured down my back.”

A commenter at the NYT says:

I will gladly refer to persons who consider themselves non-binary or gender-fluid by their names rather than the binary pronouns they find offensive. I am not however, willing to forgo a lifetime practice of speaking and writing with proper grammar. Reading all the gratuitous they/theirs, he/his's etc. in this article was like having ice poured down MY back.