"And I did my little audition and they said can you do it more southern? And I'm like, are you shitting me?"

"It's like, you got to be shitting me. I said, well, what you have to understand is I actually did just get off the turnip truck from back there and this is how you talk.... And it was like, oh, I, I see what they're getting at. Yeah. So they wanted the Foghorn Leghorn — you know, now, ovah heah, what we have is — and... I grew up down there. I never heard that.... There are a lot of performances over the years where people who are not from the South played the part that actually used that accent. And they win Academy Awards and stuff. And I'm like, wow. So anyway, I didn't get this part. And the guy who got the part literally sounded like he was in the Bronx, but he was doing that thing, you know, I thought, wow, this is gonna be tough out here...."

Said Billy Bob Thornton, talking to Joe Rogan about the Southern accent.

Scroll back to 25:35 if you want to hear Joe link the Southern drawl to hookworm infection. I didn't think I'd hear Joe talking about "dewormers" again, but he does. 

Which celebrities do you think have a Google alert on their names?

Billy Bob Thornton?

Austin images.

There's some desperately bad graffiti under that bridge (the one with the bats):





Man, that second one is so bad it makes me want to crumple up into a helpless ball of emotion and whimper "Hold me!"

Let's go to the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema and do the "Jesus Christ Superstar" singalong:



There's some sort of Cows on Parade type thing with guitars going on in Austin:



This one somehow represents Billy Bob Thornton.



If my eyeballs had the wings of an angel.

"Cher (vitamin pill), Carrie Fisher (Brussels sprout)..."

"...Dick Vitale (melon), Ellen Barkin (shrimp), Homer Simpson (doughnut)" = celebrities and the things Heimliched out of them.

"Tom Brokaw (John Chancellor, Gouda cheese), Verne Lundquist (Pat Haden, broccoli), Pierce Brosnan (Halle Berry, fruit), Justin Timberlake (a friend, nuts), Billy Bob Thornton (his potbellied pig Albert, chicken Marsala)" = celebrities and who and what they Heimliched.

UPDATE: A beautifully written family Heimlich story.