August 20, 2026

"A few years ago, Charlotte, which is not her real name, was referred to the Select Date Society, which then offered services starting at $35,000..."

"... (due to high demand, the fee rose to $75,000 shortly after, with a top tier that started at $150,000). Charlotte, 38 at the time, worked for a successful business that had just gone public, so the money wasn’t a huge issue for her. 'No one I know would ever do this, I know that,' she says of her thinking at the time. 'But you know what? I could use some help, so I’m raising my hand here — I could use some help. And I’ll be honest, I’m lonely.' An M.B.A. with a blistering career trajectory that had taken her to companies like Goldman Sachs and Google, she was mainly occupied renovating a townhouse she’d recently purchased. She was in a position where, she says, 'I can use a friend. I can use someone who’s like my best friend.'..."

"The problem of the underwhelming male is especially acute for accomplished and high-earning women like Charlotte, who are often looking for similarly situated men. Unlike men, who 'don’t care if the woman is a barista at Starbucks or if she’s a preschool teacher,' according to Louie Felix, a nearly 23-year veteran of the matchmaking trade, women are more wary of being taken advantage of and tend to desire a partner of similar wealth and stature. 'These women, a lot of times, have reached a level in their career that basically knocks out 95 percent of the male population,' says Alessandra Conti of the Beverly Hills–based Matchmakers in the City...."

89 comments:

n.n said...

Diversity. And condescension. In publication.

tim maguire said...

The problem is, a wealthy woman is not the female equivalent of a wealthy man. The female equivalent of a wealthy man is a young beautiful woman.

**"men 'don’t care if the woman is a barista at Starbucks or if she’s a preschool teacher"**

Wealthy women need to understand the implications of that observation. They are simply not worthy of the men they are looking for.

n.n said...

Stupid people looking for love in all the wrong places, for all the wrong reasons.

tcrosse said...

Are there no gigolos any more?

CJinPA said...

"women are more wary of being taken advantage of and tend to desire a partner of similar wealth and stature."

Why do you think nearly every TV ad features a man carrying a laundry basket while the woman leaves for work? To break women and men of such dated notions and help them embrace the matriarchy.

bagoh20 said...

OK, great, you make good money, but if a guy isn't looking for that (which very few are, and no good ones), then what are you bringing to the table? You are specifically looking for a guy who doesn't care about what you think is paramount. You are trying to sell ice to Eskimos.

Original Mike said...

"The Good-Man Shortage Has Gotten Exponentially Worse"

Yes, I'm taken.
My wife might be willing to rent me out, if the price is right.

Eva Marie said...

1. Crafts
2. Bodyguard

Original Mike said...

Where does Select Date Society get the guys? Because it seems like the kind of guys they need wouldn't be interested.

Blair said...

Women don't seem to understand that career vs relationship is a binary choice for them in a way that it is not for a man.

Men want to be useful to a woman. They want women who need their help. A female CEO literally "don't need no man", so men are going to stay away. Their value in the dating marketplace is much lower than their bank account would suggest to them. Their market is actually divorced 50yo silver foxes.

RideSpaceMountain said...

Short diamonds.
Long Kleenex.
Short dating apps and matchmakers.
Long fertility-adjacent big-pharma.
Ultra Long polygamy & AI-wife-sexual-scheduling calendar futures.

RideSpaceMountain said...

Obligatory

tommyesq said...

This woman has hyper-focused on her career (the level of success demonstrates this) and has jumped around between jobs, which necessarily severs relationships, but the problem is "the underwhelming male?" And in no small part because she has eliminated all men making less than her (someone for whom $35k on a matchmaking service is "not a problem")?

RideSpaceMountain said...

"Are there no gigolos any more?"

Yes but the pricing is outrageous. Dealing with women like this entitles them to hazard pay.

n.n said...

Charlotte's web. There's the problem and also the solution.

M Jordan said...

This is why you should get married in your early 20s when no one knows who will hit it rich and who will hit the skids. Let love decide, not income.

Aggie said...

Such a sad story. It's not very seemly, looking for someone that isn't unwilling to do the work, while being unwilling to do the work.

RideSpaceMountain said...

"looking for someone that isn't unwilling to do the work, while being unwilling to do the work."

Thank you for calling XX Accountability Underwriters Incorporated. We are unable to take your call. You can leave a message if you'd like and we may or may not get back to you. For your information, accountability and underwriting practice groups have been outsourced to a place we can't remember, and frankly we don't care. We're not even really sure what we do here. Interested investors may send money to our CashApp and there's a hole in our lobby you can drop money into along with a bullshit prospectus of various things you might get in return...with assurance your attention absolutely matters to us! Thank you for taking the time to call, or whatever!

hombre said...

Maybe the problem isn’t the shortage of good men, but that they are selective. AWFLs need not apply.

bagoh20 said...

Women today understand men less than at any time in history, and the highly educated understand them the least. Unlike previous generations, they spent their lives in an environment hostile to masculinity, and mostly devoid of men's opinions and influence, both of which are actively suppressed. They end up thinking men are like hyenas, just females with penises. The real question today is: do you still want a man if you don't need one? If so, what do you want, and is that really a man?

Smilin' Jack said...

“The problem is, a wealthy woman is not the female equivalent of a wealthy man. The female equivalent of a wealthy man is a young beautiful woman.

Exactly. This woman is 38. She’d be better off putting her money into some high-end plastic surgery. If it’s not already too late.

RideSpaceMountain said...

@hombre, "It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman." - Proverbs 21:9

So old it's in the Old Testament. It probably predates language. Poor Ug from ungabunga wasn't able to properly express why he abandoned his cave, but we'll find archeological evidence in the future I'm sure of it.

bagoh20 said...

I don't see this lack of understanding in older women, even highly educated ones. How men are portrayed and understood has changed dramatically. Women once sacrificed what they wanted for what they needed. They feel they don't need to do that anymore, so many end up with neither.

Leslie Graves said...

It is sad. Reading stories like this, there is often the implication that the women are surprised that this is what it is like. But nothing has changed. It has always been like this. If I were a journalist interviewing some women who are dealing with this, and are apparently surprised by this, I would want to ask them how they managed to avoid noticing any of these realities.

RideSpaceMountain said...

It's older than the Old Testament even. It's in the Epic of Gilgamesh:

"Did you see the woman who never gave birth?" "I saw her." "How does she fare?" "Like a ...... pot, she is thrown away violently, she gives no man joy."

It's pretty bad when your 'lifestyle' is getting lolcowed in the 4,200 year old Epic of Gilgamesh. I mean, just damn.

bagoh20 said...

I have a friend, whose 1-year marriage is breaking up. They have a 5 year relationship and a 3 year old child. I often say marriage ruins relationships, not always, but often. Anyway, she decided she doesn't like being a stay at home mom, or a mom at all, and her husband is often out of town working long hours at a high-paying job. They live well, and they travel the world, the kid is in daycare 4 days a week. She said she wants a career and her own money, and she decided she wants and got a job as a stewardess on private flights. Perfect for her. A disaster for her husband and child. He will be a single dad with a 3-year old, which will force him to give up a high paying job for something far less. I found out, this is her 4th marriage (at 40, and older than him). She just got her U.S. citizenship partly due to getting married. Oops.

James K said...

Wealthy men don't worry so much about being "taken advantage of" (though they might get a pre-nup to protect themselves against a scammer). So they don't need someone who's similarly wealthy, just someone who appreciates them.

Levi Starks said...

So I’m curious, what would we name the “ceiling” have these women hit? They have achieved the same level of success as that of their male counterparts, but it’s turns out not to be the kind of success their male counterparts are looking for.

RideSpaceMountain said...

@bagoh20, he's actually a lucky man to still have his kids. The narcissist he married might've killed them.

Big Mike said...

“bagoh20 said...

Women today understand men less than at any time in history, and the highly educated understand them the least.”

Bingo!

bagoh20 said...

Even a glass ceiling protects you from the weather, unless you break it.

bagoh20 said...

I do feel for these women. I imagine that if I was born a woman, I would be an independent and ambitious one, but probably a lesbian, thus avoiding these problems. It sounds like she wants a woman, but can't admit that, or can't admit she wants her to have a dick. Where is a trans when you need them?

chuck said...

From the man's point of view, a Camry is the best bet for marriage, it is low maintenance and gets you where you want to go. Not sure what brand these women are looking for.

lys said...

I don't know if it had its own tag, but this feels like one of those stories where it's good because women are doing it. I don't think a story about rich men being picky about the type of women they will date and calling them "underwhelming females" and stating the 95% of women were beneath dating successful men would be covered so positively.

tommyesq said...

"I don't think a story about rich men being picky about the type of women they will date and calling them "underwhelming females" and stating the 95% of women were beneath dating successful men would be covered so positively."

Especially if phrased as a man paying substantial sums of money for someone to procure him women.

Christopher B said...

I think tim maguire nailed it, though it's less a matter of 'not worthy' than simply being not what most men look for (at any income level)

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

bagoh20 said...

Women today understand men less than at any time in history, and the highly educated understand them the least.

And have the added complication of having the general feminine consensus that they are all experts when it comes to men and male motivations.

Unlike previous generations, they spent their lives in an environment hostile to masculinity, and mostly devoid of men's opinions and influence, both of which are actively suppressed.

Sadly, so do most of the 'men' they meet during a given day.

Iman said...

Sounds like a job fit for Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute.

Temujin said...

When you studiously kick men out of the education system for about 20 years you find that you have fewer men with degrees and high salaried jobs with prestigious sounding titles in sacred places like Manhattan.
You got what you wanted. Now you're complaining about the pickins'?

bbface21 said...

“I’m a matchmaker. I’m not a magician.”

She should say, “Dammit Jane, I’m a matchmaker. I’m not a magician.”

Iman said...

WTF do they have against Fred Garvin!?!?

rrsafety said...

My brother was in the matchmaking business for twenty years. It always came down to the same thing: Men want skinny women and Women want rich men.

Bob Boyd said...

Fish Can't Find Bicycle.

The Middle Coast said...

I’m sure some evolutionary biologist has worked on this issue. Women want men exclusively of equal or higher socioeconomic status and men embrace diverse socioeconomic. Just wondering if these preferences hold constant after controlling for age and race. Seems like there might be some cultural things going on?

J Scott said...

"marrying up" was always something men did

The Middle Coast said...

My bigger issue is, what equilibrium are people trying to achieve? Getting a partner, and making sure all of the matches are made? What if the numbers simply don’t work out? Some preferences might need to change.

rehajm said...

Wingman Song- Coors Light Commercial

"This chick's rockin' your bro
out on the dance floor.

But she's towing an anchor
A junior investment banker
Who's talkin' 'bout herself and not much more.

So buy her a beer it's the reason your here
Mighty Wingman

You're takin' one for the team
So your buddy can live the dream
Wingmaaaaaaan."

rehajm said...

....yah, the classic problem of C suite women discovering men don't value the same things in women as women do in men...sorry, nothing's gotta give...

Disparity of Cult said...

https://youtu.be/FT1Dk-1eC94?t=210

Hassayamper said...

***
I don't know if it had its own tag, but this feels like one of those stories where it's good because women are doing it.
***

It's got more than it's own tag, it is widely known in academic and political circles. It's called "Althouse's Law" and it was first codified right here on this blog some twenty-odd years ago by our gracious hostess herself:

"If you do scientific research into the differences between men and women, you must portray whatever you find to be true of women as superior. And when you read reports about scientific research into the differences between men and women, use the hypothesis that the scientists are following that rule."

Aggie said...

'...You got what you wanted. Now you're complaining about the pickins'? ...'

I've learned that men compete for the same prizes because they want them, but women compete in order to deny the prize to other women. It's all about blocking other women from access to the resources. Yes - they got what they wanted.

Men are simple creatures, by comparison, when it comes to picking a mate.

Hassayamper said...

***
It always came down to the same thing: Men want skinny women and Women want rich men.
***

Skinny? Not precisely. Homosexual fashion designers and art directors, and the metrosexual pretty-boys who take their cues from them, may prefer the skeletal look.

Most of us consider the most attractive women to be of a fit and healthy weight, not so skinny as to be amenorrhoeic or prone to eating disorders, but not so fat as to be at high risk of gestational diabetes, eclampsia, or stillbirth, among other complications of pregnancy that track with obesity.

There's a reason Sydney Sweeney (and before her, Kate Upton, Marilyn Monroe, and many other non-anorexic women) finds herself at the pinnacle of male desire: IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BABIES.

All anguished feminist arguments or polemics against this ineluctable fact are washed away by millions of years of evolutionary fitness and reproductive success. This attraction is hard-wired into the brain of every normal man and ceases only at death.

Candide said...

In more enlightened times it was perfectly normal for a man to marry into money. This man would be expected to sire the children, manage the estate, oversee the accounts, go to war when King calls, etc. That was before modern work ethic set in.

tcrosse said...

It was commonplace for an impoverished nobleman to marry the daughter of a rich bourgeois. She gets the status and he gets the dough.

RideSpaceMountain said...

"....yah, the classic problem of C suite women discovering men don't value the same things in women as women do in men"

It's not even that. Some men absolutely value intelligence in a woman, it's just rarer than iridium. The problem with so many of these types of women is that they not only don't understand differences in value priorities, *they're bad at their jobs*.

They're usually terrible leaders. Emotional intelligence might be great in dating, but almost everywhere else it's worth fuck all, especially where it really matters. They assume that it merits more responsibility and prestige and then proceeds to fuck shit up - usually requiring a man to fix it - in employment or a career that should've actually gone to the man fixing her shit instead of her. Tons of them know this, but they're terrified about actually being accountable and losing what they didn't deserve to get.

Dudes are getting really fucking sick of their shit. *They're manifestly reducing peoples' quality of life now*, across huge tranches of civic, private, and economic life. They're ineptitude has and is killing people. Fuck their feelings.

“Every feminist innovation in law and culture that I’m supposed to ‘appreciate’ the sisterhood for, either replaced competent and intelligent men with midwit, incompetent women, or gave carte blanche to the most sadistic female tendencies by everything that kept them in check.” – Aimee Terese (x.com)

Mason G said...

"I’m sure some evolutionary biologist has worked on this issue. Women want men exclusively of equal or higher socioeconomic status and men embrace diverse socioeconomic."

Hoe Math talks about it quite a bit.

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=hoe_math

Hassayamper said...

***
It was commonplace for an impoverished nobleman to marry the daughter of a rich bourgeois. She gets the status and he gets the dough.
***

The other situation in which there was commonly an upstairs-downstairs wedding of this sort was when an aristocrat had no sons and wished to preserve his family name and the identity of his coat of arms and estate. He would obviously try to assure that his daughter chose a worthy man despite his more modest circumstances, perhaps one of his more trusted employees, a prosperous tenant, a second or third son of another nobleman, or the son of a business associate, but he would also write a will with a so-called "name-and-arms" clause, obliging the young fellow to adopt the family surname and quarter his coat of arms to mirror his father-in-law's arms if he wished to inherit the family fortune. This led to the plethora of "double-barreled" surnames in England, some quite notable such as Spencer-Churchill, Bowes-Lyon, or Bonham-Carter, and to their association with the upper classes. For a time the Dukes of Buckingham and Chandos had the surname "Temple-Nugent-Brydges-Chandos-Grenville".

Mason G said...

"Charlotte, 38 at the time..."

If you haven't found a good man by the time you're 38, perhaps you're not as good a woman as you think you are?

Candide said...

Time was, marrying into wealth was THE WAY for a man to establish himself. Everyday drudgery was considered a misfortune and definitely not a moral duty. In those times all sorts of private matchmaking must have been very active.

Candide said...

Wealthy widows were the prime targets…

Josephbleau said...

The usual route was to go to a good school and couple up with someone like you. But now 65% are girls.

J Scott said...

Wealthy orphans were quite popular as well. The King being the one making them orphans was very popular in England before Charlie the first lost his head.

Jaq said...

In attempting to replicate the study that purportedly showed that an identical resume with a male name garnered more interest, resulted in more offers, at higher pay, than a female name, now show exactly the opposite effect. Women get the offers, the higher salaries, the mentorship opportunities.

How do you make women unhappy? You give them what they say they want.

Josephbleau said...

“ An M.B.A. with a blistering career trajectory that had taken her to companies like Goldman Sachs and Google, she was mainly occupied renovating a townhouse she’d recently purchased. She was in a position where, she says, 'I can use a friend. I can use someone who’s like my best friend.'..."

That’s what she will be saying to herself over and over as she compulsively rocks back and forth hugging her cat. If you have to break yourself to have the glitter career you are doing it wrong. It needs to be so much fun that you can’t stop or you need to get out.

If you struggle with a job, you done got yourself in the wrong place. However that is the fate of multitudes, sorrowfully.

Jaq said...

“ It's all about blocking other women from access to the resources.”

It’s like the way that the women pushing hardest for abortion on demand don’t generally have them themselves.

john mosby said...

" she was mainly occupied renovating a townhouse she’d recently purchased"

So she had a constant parade of artisanal-quality tradesmen literally knocking on her door. Surely one of them could have "mainly occupied" her. CC, JSM

RideSpaceMountain said...

"If you haven't found a good man by the time you're 38, perhaps you're not as good a woman as you think you are?"

Impossible. She's a princess. Dad told her she's a skittleshitting unicorn that barfs perfection and craps excellence. It's inconceivable that her choices could have consequences, if that's plausible Disney lied to her.

Jaq said...

There has been a lot of “consciousness raising” among men in recent years.

RideSpaceMountain said...

....but none of them was a Prince, JSM.

RideSpaceMountain said...

"It’s like the way that the women pushing hardest for abortion on demand don’t generally have them themselves."

It's even worse, as if the ones convincing the wallflowers to cut their tits off and defeminize themselves would ever do that themselves. Womens' capacity for psychological warfare is masterful. How better to rid yourself of your competition then sterilize it.

Fat shaming was so yesterday. They've evolved.

Mason G said...

"They've evolved."

ELAINE: Why do they call it a wedgie?

GEORGE: Because the underwear is pulled up from the back and ... it wedges in..

JERRY: They also have an atomic wedgie. Now the goal there is to actually get the waistband on top of the head. Very rare.

ELAINE: Boys are sick.

JERRY: Well what do girls do ?

ELAINE: We just tease someone until they develop an eating disorder.

Josephbleau said...

What gets a man through the rough spots is knowing that there is nothing else left for you but what you have. For women it’s different.

n.n said...

-i- How better to rid yourself of your competition -/i-

Planned Parenthood is a wicked, forward-looking solution.

Lazarus said...

Wondering what the male/female breakdown is for New York Magazine readers. Wondering if men even touch the thing.

Yancey Ward said...

"The problem is, a wealthy woman is not the female equivalent of a wealthy man. The female equivalent of a wealthy man is a young beautiful woman."

What I dropped in to write- glad I read the comments first.

Tina Trent said...

Jaq: I know a lot of happily married couples, also single males and females just treading emotional water, who never planned for so in later life, and were not able to find a spouse. The only secret, usually, is to start such goals young. The married ones who have endured misery and pain with each other but lived together through it are the strongest. I also know people who should divorce.

Maybe the problem is more of pragmatics. Also lack of religion's bumper rails.

AlbertAnonymous said...

I bet she's been made up. Sounds a lot like the author. Sussman's background is pretty similar (very NY socialite elitist, but always claiming to be "regular folk", grows up rich, lives well in NY complains about everything, true blue democrat, "single mom by choice" which might mean she adopted from asia to save a kid from an orphanage but more likely means she got promised stuff and kept the kid, but then she got left and didn't really have a "choice"

nothing about her background is "real". All PR writings and commentary.

Candide said...

“ The female equivalent of a wealthy man is a young beautiful woman."

What about Martha Dandridge Custis Washington?

Oso Negro said...

@Tina - yes, to the contrary, I what you have previously termed my pathetic life, I have seen many of the same. American women seem to have gone off the rails about 1970. It’s took me 55 years to find a situation to the mutual liking of myself and a spouse. Say what you will about my preferences, I don’t have a lot of quit in me.

Oso Negro said...

Another thing, fuck the inability of this technology to allow simple edits. It does however support the simian impulses of this age of decline

Gospace said...

My brickmaking multi-great-uncle had 3 daughters, one son who died in infancy. His eldest daughter's husband took on his last name in marriage so his eldest son could inherit the company.

Only example I have in my family tree. While unusual, the practice certainly wasn't unheard of.

Known Unknown said...

This is what the feminization and demonization on boyhood has wrought. Many young men have opted out of the social contract because it doesn't serve their interests. You're blamed for everything bad anyway, or cancelled for flirting, or made to feel inconsequential in the workforce, so why bother?

Ampersand said...

The problem for these forlorn women is hypergamy, the strong preference women have for mates who are socially, economically, and intellectually their equals or superiors. The now anachronistic consignment of women to the role of breeders made hypergamy functional.
Sadly, if you like your DNA, and would like it replicated, breeding is not optional.

Tina Trent said...

Oso Negro, no offence. I hope you have found happiness. Many are at culturally created disadvantages, and yes, the brutality towards men and pandering to women is very real.

Tina Trent said...

The interesting thing is that the current dominance of women in culture-captured institutions and relationships are based on validating the least virtuous aspects of the female personality, while the demonization of men is based on their best qualities.

The Middle Coast said...

Thanks Mason G! Hoe Math has opened a new world for me.

Kirk Parker said...

Tina @5:04am,

That's a great observation, though not surprising once it's pointed out since like so much of the "progressive" agenda it's based on an inversion of reality.

Steve Austin Showed Up For Work. said...

I'll jump in late on this. Look, lady, a man making seven figures isn't going to care about the money you make. He has money. You're 38. He'll marry someone 10-15 years younger who can have more children, is better looking, and has time to manage a seven figure household. When you are way out on the right side of the distribution the rules change.

Dave said...

Oso Negro: I think we are in a similar situation. Not a lot of quit in me either. My new wife is pregnant. I should be a father, God be with us, before my 58th birthday this January.

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