From "After 'Barbie,' Mattel Is Raiding Its Entire Toy Box/In an era when 'pre-awareness' rules Hollywood, the company is ginning up plots for everything from Hot Wheels to UNO" (The New Yorker).
The concept of toyetic works is stated to have come from Bernard Loomis in 1969, while working at Mattel. With the introduction of the Hot Wheels line of toy cars, Loomis proposed that they also developed a 30-minute show Hot Wheels as a means to promote the toys. The Federal Communications Commission (FCC), in reviewing the show, determined that the program needed to be treated as advertising, which affected the records of the network, forcing the show to be taken off the air within two years....
In the early 1980s, the FCC revised its rules on children's programming, specifically allowing for the use of "character marketing" where shows could employ fictional characters based on toys and other real-world objects without counting towards advertising....
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For fun, google how close Barbie was to being an irrelevancy just a few years ago, after MGA, the maker and marketer of Bratz, so impacted Mattel's business--which for a long time counted 30+% of its revenue from Barbie--that it spent about half a billion bucks suing MGA in federal court, trying to bully it out of the competition for little girls' doll dollars the way it had countless companies. Even Hasbro, as big as it was, couldn't stand the onslaught of motions filed by Quinn Emanuel on a weekly basis, and so pulled its competing doll. Yet MGA, founded and run by a Persian Jew who'd come to America at age 17 in 1971 from one of the poorest neighborhoods in Tehran, refused to yield. Fascinating story.
I want to say this is what happens when the writers go on strike, but honestly, Hollywood has been putting out lightweight crap for so many years, I don't think actual writers are a part of the landscape out there any longer.
Sure, movies based on comic books are running their course. Let's make movies based on toys or foods that used to be popular. Who wouldn't want to pay to see that?
I know, I know...the writers don't greenlight the projects. But they do take part in them. They write them. I look forward to Bard taking over the writing. And eventually, the greenlighting of projects. And further up the road, my brain.
The *Hot Wheels* Saturday morning cartoon also had a comic book. Spawning a LOT of toy products with comics providing a back story. GI Joe. ROM, the Space Knight. Lego Bionicles. Most lately, I guess, Dungeons and Dragons. Most awful, recently, is a movie based on Pac-Man!?
That cartoons and comics and adventure radio shows all spawn toys is even less surprising. Micky Mouse and Superman toys go back to the 1930s and 40s. The Lone Ranger and Green Hornet, ditto.
Somehow I seem to recall the radio hero *Captain Midnight* and the breakfast snack *Ovaltine* were deeply linked, again way back in the 1940s.
I don't recommend this trend, but I'm not sure it is really all that new.
"In an era when 'pre-awareness' rules Hollywood"
The problem is manchildren and womanchildren. Fanboyz and Fangirlz might be between 35 and 50 years of age, but they're perpetually 17 years old. They never grew up, and following the latest pedowood capeshit sequel was a visceral and vicarious way to prevent the world from reminding them about their $75k in remaining student debt, their studio apartment lease renewal next month, that their dead-end job didn't require an MBA and that they will die alone.
Problem is the capeshit is growing stale even for them. Time to hit 'em with Barbie and Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
Since at least 1970 hasn't all kids' programming in the United States been nothing but product promotion, and I mean everything without exception, including the vaunted and ostensibly (by that I mean falsely) non-profit platforms like PBS and the MacArthur Foundation's Action for Children's Television?
The hankie-twisting do-gooders of the sixties railed night and day over youngster's "exposure" to the vile and violent antics of Daffy Duck, Tom and Jerry, Bulwinkle J. Moose, and other less commercially spun-off entertainments. Too bad anyone listened to them. Too bad they weren't all lobotomized.
Barbie's were the first breasts I ever saw.
But not the last!
But isn't this the opposite of 'Toyetic'? They're not creating material to sell toys, they're using the toys to create a premise for media material. It's epic! Or maybe, "Toypic".
Eagerly awaiting for the “Cap’n Crunch versus Quake and Quisp” blockbuster.
"Barbie's were the first breasts I ever saw. But not the last!"
Barbie's skeeter-bites are the reason I'm an assman. Growing up I saw those disappointments more than once and the rest is history.
Matel, Marvel, Mission Impossible 35, Fast and Furious 27, Indiana Jones 5.
Hollywood has run out of good ideas. Part of the problem is that the China market has to be satisfied.
At least with my "Frankenstein, Part II," I'm in step with the trend.
Dungeons and Dragons? How did that wander in here?
D&D, for all it's many flaws, was the farthest thing imaginable (perfect word!) from the corporate-driven advertainment of post-WWII America.
Oh great. We can all look forward to "Bed, Bath, and..... Beyond: A Woke white urban liberal woman's Story."
A brand new sci- fi romcom safe space fantasy about a big city where left wing female onlyfans influencers must step out into a post sacket vs. EPA and take on and explore a brave new first world where they chart a course to Starbuck, surgically sterilize their children, while surrendering to an illegal alien invasion that threatens to interrupt their supply of avacado and nutella breakfasts. Also starring Lena Dunham as the big, hairy monster that eats people.
The Whoopie Cushion story
Problem is the capeshit is growing stale even for them.
Why the hate for superhero movies? They are just modern versions of ancient archetypes. In every culture around the world their earliest stories are heroic sagas that were passed down for generations orally before being written down. In fact, many of these sagas have been ripped off by the comics industry, Thor being the most obvious.
Also there are many comics today that have amazing writing and illustration. most comic books are written for older audiences today, in fact there is a sub-genre of books written explicitly for children because the main books are too adult to interest them.
Now it is true that in recent times the industry has larger gone woke in a mis-guided attempt at a bigger audience. That is why the MCU is based on thirty year old stories.
Much of 19th century literature was originally published in short story form in periodical magazines funded by advertisement.
I only remember Gerwig in Hannah Takes the Stairs, which struck me as an anti-romcom. I remember it because there was pussy. Plot I don't remember.
Maybe Barbie could be upgraded to anatomically correct.
I see I have her in 11 films, the others of which I have no recollection of.
The Barbie trailer is campy and silly enough that I think it will be a modest hit.
All of this has been tried before, without much success. Don't forget that the Garbage Pail Kids had a movie.
Saw the latest trailer for the Barbie movie this past weekend, in the theater for Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. some months ago, I had seen online the Barbie movie promo (I won’t call it a trailer) that was a send-up of 2001, and I admired Greta Gerwig’s cheeky humor in doing that promo, but the actual trailer for the actual movie…eye-rollingly bad. My spouse thought it was even more horrific than I did.
Oh, and Indy? I was prepared for the movie to suck, but it didn’t; was actually pretty good and entertaining. Contrary to some press reports, I saw zero hint of any “wokeness” (there’s a quote going around purporting to demonstrate such, but it’s taken totally out of context and doesn’t mean what it’s being touted to mean); Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character Helena starts off deliberately unlikeable but “grows” over the course of the film (and PWB the actress does fine); yeah, there’s more reliance on car chases than I’d like, but there’s a really well-done sequence involving a parade and a horse that I liked a lot. The ending will leave a tear in your eye. It’s not Raiders of course (what is?), but it’s a worthy Indiana Jones movie; I’d rank it just behind Last Crusade. And it’s a movie worth seeing in a theater, not streaming on a television.
Ironically the problem with AI writing is that it’s entirely derivative and incapable of creating any new plots or narrative. That the same industry is full of writers creating derivative stories and concepts when not outright “reimagining” past hits as current woke flops is even more ironic. Who can I root for when everyone is a villain?
"Why the hate for superhero movies?"
Because they're not good. Not even objectively by otaku-nerd standards. Not only are they not good, but they're consistently not good from one sequel to the next. There are entire series that are awful from the original to the final movie in the series, Transformers being the most obvious example. I'm not even talkign about woke infusion...that's just the polish they apply to these turds.
The actual story of Barbie’s invention and success would be a great movie about a woman who succeeded when everyone (mostly men) in the toy industry told her it wouldn’t sell. But why greenilight a true story of a gritty minority underdog beating the odds (and the men) when you can turn out money losing dreck for only twice the production cost? She only created a ten billion dollar franchise. Who wants to see that?
I think what people don't fully understand is that Hollywood markets brands now, not movies. It's hard enough and expensive enough to get a movie made, but then you have to market it. Brands have a huge advantage, which is why we see so few one-off movies now. The stories and scripts are still there, but the studio will to spend on them is weak.
Once upon a time it was easy to market stars. People paid specifically to see them, so if your favorite star made a one-off film like Witness, the theaters were full. Now, pretty much the only star people will pay to see is Tom Cruise, who spends his time making super-expensive franchise pictures. He'd do a lot more for the future of the industry if he used his star power to make films from interesting scripts--which, I assure you, are out there...but as orphans.
I await with great anticipation not attending the theatrical release of "Ass" as prophesied in Idiocracy. I suspect it will be released in my lifetime. Until then, not watching product based commercials pretending to be movies will have to do.
It's funny how times have changed. It used to be that snacks were named after famous people. Example "Baby Ruth." Now, there are no more impressive people.
Jerry Seinfeld can take any benign subject and make it funny.
My take on pop tarts would be quick and simple. Take two small pieces of corrugated cardboard, toast. enjoy.
Ex-PFC Wintergreen, the Indiana Jones movie experienced extensive reshoots, likely greatly changing the plot and the budget. The rumors are the original version had the new female character literally replacing Indiana Jones everywhere, including in the prior movies, as Indiana Jones would be killed and she had to take his place in the timeline. While that may sound ridiculous, remember this movie was from Kathleen Kennedy, whose entire idea of making movies is to make self-insert fanfics.
PM said, "Barbie's were the first breasts I ever saw. But not the last!"
RideSpaceMountain said, "Barbie's skeeter-bites are the reason I'm an assman. Growing up I saw those disappointments more than once and the rest is history."
Isn't Barbie supposed to be from Malibu? As in Malibu Barbie? I've been to Malibu. I've seen the silicone. Even played with some of it. Barbie does not "represent" her hometown very well. Barbie's not the best chest in the West. Far from it!
There's no problem using an existing brand to bring in a pre-established audience to your movie. The problem is in execution. For a long time, Hollywood seemed utterly incapable of adapting a video game to the movie format. This is rather baffling as some video games had impressive lore that would make for a good movie with minimal modification, and others are so bereft of plot that you can pretty much do whatever you want within a few guidelines. Both apparently were beyond the abilities of Hollywood. I don't think there was an actual good video game movie until Mortal Kombat, but they managed to follow that up with a dreadful sequel. I'm not sure why they thought that killing off the most interesting character and then trying to replace him with 20 new characters that mostly were barely in the movie made any sense.
The bigger problem is Hollywood is generally incapable of making movies that most people want to see. For a while, they were focused on generic blockbusters with impressive special effects but with minimal plot because they could market those in China and other places, but with China having established their own movie industry catering specifically to their market, that has mostly dried up. Now we get "woke" films. Sometimes, this is due to the sensibilities of the executives, who are more interested in virtue signaling than making money. Sometimes, this is because they hire people based on physical characteristics or who they have sex with instead of talent. That's not to say that such people cannot make good movies, but the executives are not exactly picky. Black lesbian with no past experience? Hire immediately and give her a $300 million budget! Not sure how you expected that to work out, but there you go.
There are lots of very good movies that can be made. But Hollywood has been infested with the psychopaths and sociopaths that make up most of our "elite" these days, and they don't really care as long as they get paid and get invited to the right parties. That's not to say that Hollywood has not been full of predators and bad actors from the very beginning, but at least those wanted to make good films as that is how they made money. Today's Hollywood are parasites, getting paid very well to kill the industry from the inside.
Michael K writes, "Now, there are no more impressive people."
Ho, there... not so fast, Dobbin. What about a Dylan Mulvenney-inspired confection? Curtiss cheated the Babe out of his fair share of the Baby Ruth, but we can honor the Sultan/Sultana of Swish. Let's see...
How about a candy that starts out as a chocolate-covered caramel thing with almonds that morphs into a gummy fruity thing?... WHADDAYA MEAN, "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE"? Chemistry?... Sounds transphobic to me, you hater.
Barbie's invention came about in Germany when Elliot and Ruth Handler were in a cab which had, on the dashboard, a hot-looking prostitute doll.
"You sold out, man."
"I was tired of being a starving artist."
The Barbie Movie is a literal toy story.
I loved the Linus the Lionhearted cartoon show with Post cereal mascots Sugar Bear, So-Hi, Rory Raccoon, and Lovable Truly.
D&D, for all it's many flaws, was the farthest thing imaginable (perfect word!) from the corporate-driven advertainment of post-WWII America.
Was. Now is a product of Hasbro. Movies, cartoons, toys, card games, board games, spin off novels, all licensed intellectual property to be carefully farmed and harvested. The OG D&D community has -- made an opinions known.
https://news.yahoo.com/hasbro-pissed-off-dungeons-dragons-180210445.html
Why not a movie about William Tell? The Scarlett Pimpernell? Rima the Jungle Girl?
Hey, how 'bout a Conan-like epic three-picture deal featuring the adventures of Enoch, the barbarian hero warrior of the "lost" books of the Old Testament?
I suppose it’s the natural next step. Huge budgets means no risks, which means no original stories—nothing without a built-in audience.
Hollywood has worn out the sequels, remakes, and adaptations. Now it’s pop culture. Next will be…???
Is “audience recognition” another way of saying, let’s imagine characters people grew up with, not as reimagined “woke”?
I saw a movie based on Lego pieces that was actually pretty good. I'll probably give Barbie a shot when it comes on free streaming. I can't imagine going to a theater to see a movie. As it turns out, maybe live plays will outlast movie theaters....I was glad to read above that the new Indiana Jones movies is worth a look. If Indiana went the way of Jaws, I would feel even older than I am....James Bond and Sherlock Holmes are enduring franchises but Sherlock is now less formulaic than Bond. I think most of the Star Wars and Bond flicks have been written by AI for years. They probably hired a few live writers to disguise the scam.....Re Wokeness: I read that during Shakespeare's time, the competition to The Globe and its stars was not bear baiting or even brothels. What people flocked to see were ministers and their Sunday sermons. Falwell has always been a bigger drawer than Falstaff. I guess in some inchoate way Hollywood producers realize this and feel a need to incorporate some sermonizing in their pictures. Movies like The Robe or Quo Vadis integrated spectacle and morality and achieved boffo box office. I suppose they're trying to do the same thing with transgendered Marvel superheroes, but they haven't quite found the handle yet. They'll keep trying and maybe someday succeed. I don't look forward to a female Bond or Indiana Jones, but Wonder Woman was okay. Maybe if they put in some nudity and light bondage it might be a big winner.
J Melcher said...Why not a movie about...The Scarlett Pimpernell?
Around 2008 or 2009 I pitched that idea to Roger Simon. I thought Obama's politics of envy created a good environment for a tale in which the hero outwits demagogues to save rich people. I never heard back from him.
The cereal is simply named "Kaboom!", and it's fronted by a clown. You know there's a movie in there, a while series of movies. Kaboom! II, Kaboom! III, Kaboom! IV, etc...
William said...
"I don't look forward to a female Bond or Indiana Jones..."
Gary Poppins: starring Colin Ferrell in the title role. Special guest Jerri Lynn Dyke as the chimney sweep.
Alien - sorry - Undocumented: starring Seth Green as Elliot Ripley.
Suffragette: starring Mark Wahlberg as Emmeline Pankhurst
Michelle, the Michelle Obama story: starring Kevin Hart as MO.
Tampax needs to get on this.
PM,
"Barbie's were the first plastic breasts I ever saw. But not the last!"
FIFY
Hunter Biden's tax payer funded Hooker: "Jerry Seinfeld can take any benign subject and make it funny."
Saw Jerry Seinfeld in Vegas not that many years ago. He did 15 minutes on Cinnabon and absolutely killed it. Overall about 1.5 hours, no cussing and focused mostly on family stuff: being a dad, the kids driving him crazy, wife/husband relationship, etc.
Everything normal that reaches as broad an audience as possible and all hilarious.
He's far too normal and just naturally funny to be acceptable at any university/left wing lunatic asylum.
AMDG said...
"Eagerly awaiting for the “Cap’n Crunch versus Quake and Quisp” blockbuster."
Sorry, but they were reduced to ashen "Crispy Critters" a while back.
Recently went through a book about history-based movies. There seem to be a lot fewer historical epics these days. I suspect that this is partly because there are less history we feel clearly about. In particular, there are fewer clear villains. Nazis certainly, but after that it gets harder. I wonder if this might be related to the rise of movies based on other franchises. History was a franchise of sorts, with stories and characters people were familiar with. But making a movie that can be seen as supporting the British Empire can raise criticism. Make a Tolkien show, and no one from Mordor will be offended.
"Recently went through a book about history-based movies."
Author and title, please?
"Recently went through a book about history-based movies."
Author and title, please?
The Hollywood History of the World, by George Macdonald Fraser. Published in 1988, so a few decades old at this point, but still worthwhile. Fraser was not a professional historian or a filmmaker, he was a journalist and novelist, best known for the Flashman book series. He has an interesting "outside the academy" approach to it. He was also a World War II veteran (his book Quartered Safe Out Here is generally considered among the finest of the WW II memoirs) so his comments on war movies are particularly interesting. Not saying that I will agree with all his judgments, but it has put some movies on my desired viewing list.
Ha! I recommended that one here soon after arriving, about five years ago.
Fraser was one of the greats.
"I’d rank it just behind Last Crusade."
AKA better than the Crystal Skulls... Okey-dokey.
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