"The trio broke into the Cheltenham Tweed Company shop in the spa town’s promenade on January 9 and drilled their way through the dividing wall in the basement to get into the adjacent antiques and jewellery shop. Tim Burrows, for Newman said: 'They were all flummoxed by the safe. It was while they were trying to gain entry into the safe that the alarm went off.' Judge Ian Lawrie, QC, interjected: “They behaved like three buffoons with utter incompetence in carrying out this burglary.... Judge Lawrie told Rabjohns: 'You were a complete idiot to get involved in this burglary. You need to take greater care who you mix with in future.'"
That's from England, obviously. Lots of clues, and I didn't even include the part about the "spanner" in the "boot." Notice the spelling "jewellery." In America, we laugh at people who speak as if "jewelry" were spelled "jewellery."
From "‘Buffoon’ burglars sentenced for botched jewellery heist" (The London Times).
It's one thing to get caught committing a crime, quite another to have the judges all mocking you for how stupid you were to get caught.
Running from a tweed shop covered in brick dust!
Judge Lawrie: "I don’t think the three men visiting the clothing shop were really interested in adding tweed to their wardrobe when they went on a scouting mission in December."
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A better fate then the guys who used a welding torch to break into a landscaping company safe. The safe was where the owner kept his stock of fireworks. It did not end well for them. On the plus side, they did get the safe open...
I went to Cheltanham six times in the 1990s for work - Boeing's development of an automatic control system for the E-6. It's a lovely town, about a two-hour drive WNW of Heathrow. Smith's Industries, the manufacturer of the flight system, would take us to dinner one night during our stay.
For some reason it's amusing to me that there's shops that evidently specialize in just tweed apparel in England. All tweed all the time, for all you tweed needs.
Two doors down the boys finally made it through the wall
And cleaned out the bank safe, it’s said that they got off with quite a haul
https://www.bobdylan.com/songs/lily-rosemary-and-jack-hearts/
Cheltenham Man.
Maybe they thought it was a weed shop?
I often wonder how many of these botched crimes come about because the perps watched too much TV.
I knew some people who tried to kill an old man for his money, or something, and hit him over the head but as it turned out the guy fought back and it wasn't so easy. In fact it was a big stupid ugly mess and he died but they all turned on each other.
But on TV all you had to do was hit him over the head and boom, he's dead. Happens all the time, right?
wild chicken,
True dat. It was one of the virtues (if you can call it that) of Breaking Bad: Sometimes the crimes you commit just don't turn out at all the way you thought they would. The scene early on where Pinkman is sent by White to the grocery store to buy a big enough bin to dissolve a dead dealer's body in, and decides, screw this, I'm gonna just use the bathtub, and the acid used is hydrofluoric . . .
Judicial mockery would run afoul of the US Constitution's ban on cruel and unusual punishments.
Even in 19th Century England, Gilbert and Sullivan put the judicial humorist on their list of those who'd none of them be missed.
What? In the UK they expect their street criminals to be smart?
We have “criminal justice reform” here so some some criminals don’t have to be smart. Also, DC grifters, as the Clintons, the Bidens, et al, don’t have to be smart because the are immune from prosecution.
Let's put it this way..
There have been times and places in history when fabrics have been legal tender.
Virginia Postrel's book "The Fabric of Civilization" is a great and enlightening read.
Narr
Just tossing that in
We could do with some of that over here.
Were any of the crooks quoted as saying; "It's a fair cop!"?
Did any of them have red hair?
DIMSDALE!
Red-Handed League? Red-Faced League?
Narr
Surprised it hasn't been mentioned already
"In America, we laugh at people who speak as if 'jewelry' were spelled 'jewellery.'"
Yeah, it probably required a lot of labour to attack that brick wall. If hurt, they woulda been in hospital.
I've been to Cheltenham, but I don't want to go to Chelsea.
Sounds like a Benny Hill sketch.
Did they have accomplices in bikinis?
"What? In the UK they expect their street criminals to be smart?"
Maybe they admire clever criminals. It's a jewel heist!
Mr. Pink and Mr. White were unavailable for comment...
the judges all mocking you for how stupid you were to get caught
I got a packed courtroom to laugh out loud at a stupid judge. It was well worth the ~$600 it cost me.
I don't see how this stands out as stupid. Burglars get caught all the time. Even the really good ones get caught sometimes.
I say jewel-ry. I do not say joolry. I say law-yer and not loyer. I say February and not Febuary. Laugh at me and expose yourself as an ignoramus.
We should probably offer at least two of the burglars jobs as President and Vice President. They qualify based on our present office holders. It is impossible to be more shit for brains than Biden.
Haven't been there for a while but Cheltenham used to be one of the most graceful towns in England. Anyone here been there lately?
we laugh at the British with their extra "U's" and "L's".
haha. This is why we fought the War of Independence.
We'll never have to be spell it "Harbour" or "Labour" ever again.
wild chicken said...
But on TV all you had to do was hit him over the head and boom, he's dead. Happens all the time, right?
No, no, no. He'd quickly awake with amnesia.
It'd take a second, accidental hit over the head to bring his memory back.
No, no, no. He'd quickly awake with amnesia.
It'd take a second, accidental hit over the head to bring his memory back.
Will coconuts be involved?
"In America, we laugh at people who speak as if "jewelry" were spelled "jewellery." "
Huh. Well, laugh away then. I've pronounced the word as "jewellery" but spelled it as "jewelry". I guess people have laughed behind my back. Oh well.
You will find jewellery over by the aluminium
I used to own a Harris Tweed hacking jacket, the kind with two flap pockets on the right side and one of the left, and the hidden button dingus on the collar if you wanted to bundle up in the cold. Best damned garment I ever owned, wore it everywhere, with anything -- jeans, dress slacks, shirt and tie, turtleneck, tee-shirt -- anything. And it got BETTER with age -- softer, more comfortable. It was a gray and blue checked. Nice.
My GF starting wearing, which I didn't discourage. When she left me she took my hacking jacket with her
Damn her eyes.
"In America, we laugh at people who speak as if 'jewelry' were spelled 'jewellery.'"
My late mother-in-law grew up near Memphis. In her Delta accent, she always pronounced "jewelry" as "jury".
In her Delta accent, she always pronounced "jewelry" as "jury".
My Idaho relatives give up mid word on 'insurance' so it sounds like 'inshrnce'
rehajm said... [hush][hide comment]
My Idaho relatives give up mid word on 'insurance' so it sounds like 'inshrnce'
My male relatives back in Western North Carolina have been know to grow 'mushtashes' on occasion.
I still have a Harris tweed sport coat I bought in Glasgow 50 years ago. It cost me ten quid at Dunn & Co, which was $24 at the time. I outgrew it, so had it retailored for my wife. it will never wear out.
"I say jewel-ry. I do not say joolry. I say law-yer and not loyer. I say February and not Febuary."
Thank you. Extra points if you say "all ready" not "ardy" and "I will" not "aymana." Kudos if you just do not say "all ready" as in most instances it adds no meaning: "Jew ardy eat?".
Cannot listen to the mumbling young actors common on TV these days. /rant
Dumb criminal movies are a minor film genre. The English especially seem to like them. The one(s) with Alec Guinness or somebody are supposed to be classic(s). It seems like it's a pretty limited genre and the jokes often aren't worth the embarrassment.
Realtor. Re-al-tor. Not realter. (I know, it's a battle lost.)
Best item of clothing I ever owned was a surplused Royal Navy greatcoat--wool, lined, double-breasted . . . I'm not sure they even make them any more.
Narr
'Twas indeed a great coat
I hope they were wearing masks.
Brick dust is a real killer.
Was 'Yakety Sax' playing during the getaway?
Narr,
Don't you mean "RE-lat-or"? That's how I hear it mispronounced.
My Mom mocked GWB (I think it was) for "nucular," but said "RElator" herself.
Something about the e-a letter combo? The only comparable mispronunciations I can think of are "lie-berry" and "asterick." (True story: I was clerking at a Borders a few decades ago, and a woman came up to me to ask how she could check her books out of the "lie-berry." I had to explain that we were a bookstore, and one could only buy the books, not just take them home for a week or two. Awkward.)
When I lived in New York City, I met a lot of Jewish men over 35 that had English names: Myron, Irving, Seymour, Morton, Sheldon. Never met a Jew Ellery though, so missed that pronunciation..
“we laugh at the British with their extra "U's" and "L's". “
I liked when the Car Talk guys said “Jag- U- ar”
Michelle Dulak Thomson said...
My Mom mocked GWB (I think it was) for "nucular," but said "RElator" herself.
Jimmy Carter always said it like something closer to "nookier". Pretty bad considering he'd been the the USN Nuclear Submarine program.
Pretty bad considering he'd been the the USN Nuclear Submarine program.
Science has a received pronunciation?
I dunno. Cheltehham is a spa town--and it's right on the edge of the Cotswolds, so a bit of tweed in their wardrobe would have helped them blend in. Brick dust however is a bad sign.
And why shouldn't the gent sitting up there on the bench with a horsehair wig have a little sport with the helpless villains standing before him. After all they're headed for Wormwood Scrubs and they won't be hearing any jokes there.
Those silly Brits, you'd think with all their ridiculous spellings and of course, *those* Monty Python-esque accents, that they really believe they invented the English language...
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