December 24, 2020

Of course, the NYT "loves" this... if love includes loving the virality of something so clickable and sharable.

Click and reclick the image to read the full comment that begins "It all depends on your attitude."

Now, Joe Gabriel Simonson withholds a link to the NYT, so he's onto their game and refusing to play... and he himself is using a woman's sex tale about her daughter to get links for himself... including this one from me. Reading the comments on his tweet, I see that no one believes the story, but they sure do find it hilarious. 

I don't mind giving the NYT the link they deserve. Here's "The Joys of Frivolous Sex/The pandemic has brought out a nasty puritanism" by Megan Nolan. 

Looking through the NYT-selected comments, I don't see the story that's in Simonson's screenshot. Maybe the woman — who used what might be her real name — took her comment down. If she really has a daughter, did she realize it was wrong — even if hilarious — to appropriate her daughter's identity for her own purposes?

The third-highest comment over there is "Read the whole thing again pretending it's written by a man." I'll be reading the column for the first time, and I don't need that prod. I always do the gender switcheroo when I read sex things. 

Let's read:
In early lockdown, I spent most evenings in the front room of my mother’s house, drunk, staring at a computer, reeling at the prospect of my body being deprived indefinitely of touch.... Only weeks earlier, I was in New York for an extended visit, recently single and pleasantly crazy with the desire to date far and wide. My romantic and sexual value seemed higher then and there than it had ever been anywhere else.... [One man] looked fondly down at me in a hotel room and inexplicably exclaimed, “I love New York!” at the sight of my body.

Inexplicably. 

And then in March came the shutdown. ... I was urgently trying to recast the concept of pleasure as something that could occur without other people.... I made the mistake in this period of suggesting in a Facebook post that single people, especially those living alone, could not be expected to go an unlimited amount of time without socializing or close contact. Some people reacted to this as though I had proposed an orgy on every street corner, pandemic be damned, but that wasn’t what I meant. What I meant was that human beings can’t be expected to endure the sudden and total loss of social comfort.... 
The coronavirus pandemic has brought out a nasty puritanism in some people.... One doesn’t even need to actually break a rule to earn their disgust, only to express dismay over things they consider unimportant or, worse, hedonistic. To even complain about what it feels like to live alone and not be able to date right now is regarded as unseemly, dismissed as trivial.... 
Most of society does not really believe that casual, nonmonogamous encounters can actually hold meaning, rather than simply serve as crude ways to blow off steam. I know that they can. Living as a purposefully single and promiscuous person was one way to know others, one way to find joy in the world, and it’s gone for now. Single people have lost something important, and should be allowed to bemoan it.

This is a very well-written and impressive statement of a point of view that should be part of the discussion! She's not saying her desire for physical love is more important than children going to school and elderly people staying alive. She's saying the interest in living real life is important too. 

Now, Nolan invites attacks by calling other people names. Her antagonists are puritans — and nasty ones at that. And she makes their argument easier by using the word "promiscuous" to describe the interest she wants us to take seriously. 

Back to the comments. I see this from Low-Notes-Liberate, who says he's a musician and thus "supposed to be wildly frivolous in general." But he prefers "long-term intimacy."

After the initial hide and seek of bodies is, for me, when the real adventure begins. Who is this person, who am I, who are we together. It is perhaps more a journey into the mind through the body. Not to say that love simmering like carnalized onions in an iron skillet, animal nature is incredibly sexy.

Carnalized onions! 

But I like the journey taken over time. That said, I can easily relate to the horrifying ten months of deserted island sexuality many of us have endured. I was happy to see this article because it needs to be discussed and out in the open. What is a life of masturbation? Videos? Amazon brown boxes arriving with the hopes of a new variation on the same old theme?

68 comments:

campy said...

Nancy Pelosi should impeach Trump over this.

Ralph L said...

But her prefers "long-term intimacy."

Ralph L said...

The commenter demands "they/them."

Shouting Thomas said...

I am reminded of the AIDS epidemic, caused by promiscuous gay sex.

This was followed by a 50 year campaign to blame President Reagan for the epidemic.

No matter how you behave sexually, somebody is going to find it repulsive. The solution is to have a thick skin and go about your own business. If you’re going to wait around for other people to approve of your behavior... well, that’s your problem.

Interestingly, calling for gay men to zip it up and stop infecting one another was usually condemned as homophobia. As opposed to the current pandemic.

tim maguire said...

Blogger Shouting Thomas said...I am reminded of the AIDS epidemic, caused by promiscuous gay sex.

The AIDS epidemic was caused by Africans eating monkeys. Gays were victims, not perpetrators. And even that, mostly in North America and mostly by happenstance. In much of the world, AIDS was not a gay disease.

Lucien said...

Now Ann has baited me into promiscuously spiking my anxiety stew with carnalized onions, just as I was reveling in images of Kyra Sedgwick running on a treadmill, wearing a ponytail.
Why would anyone willing to risk acquiring an STD from a sexual encounter be put off by the risk of Kung-flu?

Shouting Thomas said...

The AIDS epidemic was caused by the behavior of gay men in the bathhouses of SF, NYC and LA.

Gay men were the perps.

Listen, you can feed these lies to somebody else. I lived in the midst of this and gay men told me what they were doing. They tried to invite me into the games. I’d be dead if I’d accepted.

Anal sex with a dozen men a night. Playing in tubs of shit and piss.

You’re a flat out liar, Tim. Of course, your lies have become the common public propaganda.

David Begley said...

What’s this woman’s phone number?

Shouting Thomas said...

You can have all the promiscuous sex you want.

You don’t have to convince the general public to do this.

All that’s needed is partners seduced in private. I’m sure that the people who want this are still finding it. After all, gay men continued to kill themselves en masse with their suicidal sexual behavior. I knew that their behavior was going to kill them even before I knew of the existence of AIDS. It was obvious.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

How is she going to feel when she starts getting older and guys stop wanting to have sex with her and she can't find anyone who wants to be in a relationship with her.

stevew said...

The list of negative effects from the government's policies is long, not short. The taking away of human contact and intimacy is one. That this affects the single, living alone person most is rather obvious. Her argument is a good one but she does undermine it as you note.

My MIL lives alone, has for many years. It is not sexual intimacy that she is deprived of during this mess of a crisis, rather it is the simple contacts: a touch on the arm, a hug, and even the close encounters of sitting and walking nearer that six feet to others.

The "We're All In This Together" crowd demand that we all sacrifice everything in the fervent hope, bordering on religious faith, that the pandemic will end and they will be safe from infection and death. What a miserable lot they are.

iowan2 said...

How is she going to feel when she starts getting older and guys stop wanting to have sex with her and she can't find anyone who wants to be in a relationship with her.

Ron, you are either impersonating a male, or you are a young male. Men are always buying if pussy is on menu.

pacwest said...

Why do people insist on making covid into something it is not? For anyone other than the infirmed and elderly it's the flu. Why has virtue signaling become of such overwhelming importance that people willingly give up the important things in life? 'Look at me. Look how willing I am to sacrifice for the common good.' Just nail yourself to a cross already.

virgil xenophon said...

"I've never regretted a one night stand."

------supposedly attributed to Angie Dickinson

Quayle said...

Celebrating their ability to feel, while ironically losing their ability to feel.

It it a good thing to mark and avoid things that require more and more to get or maintain the same seemingly good effect. We are dual physical and spiritual beings. Feed the physical passions to an imbalance and they will start to take dominance over the spirit. This is how people end up destroying a marriage and family because sex with someone outside their marriage felt good for a brief period. The long term pain and sadness turns out to be the worst kinds of bargain ever made - short term gain for long term pain.

Our greatest social problems derive from broken families. It costs us all enormous sums not to mention the individual pain and grief of children who go through the broken homes (the greatest ignored and purposely hidden fact of our society). So we do have a stake in the decisions made in this regard by others. But when the social mores were first challenged and defended, we were told that “consenting adults” can do what they want so shut up. Now the Governor of Michigan, for example, is telling us that consenting adults CAN’T do what they want, even if they just want a simple dinner together in a restaurant, so shut up. It used to be that individual liberty and choice, never mind the effects in society, were lauded as absolute and supreme. Now the second step of the trap is being sprung. individual liberty and choice is nothing. You must subordinate to the collective or be branded a grandma killer.

COVID has been the great character revealer. To many, It is getting more clear every day that our society is not in a good place, and the future seems pretty dire. But it isn’t.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

tcrosse said...

So much for that new season of Sex and The City.

Jersey Fled said...

Ho humm

Fernandinande said...

But I like the journey taken over time.

I like instantaneous journeys.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Human contact, touching, holding hands, cuddling, hugging, smiling at each other... and yes SEX are vital to being sane humans. Deprive babies of this (except the sex!!!) and you create badly damaged and even psychotic adults.

This "social" distancing is doing something similar to adults and especially to children who no longer have friends to play with.

But we are all expected to put up with it so we don't kill Grandma. (At this point, maybe Grandma is sick of living like this anyway) If we can't have human contact, then this woman can give up her random f*cks.

Indiscriminate, promiscuous sex has not been a desirable human or societal condition. It creates chaos and spreads disease. It isn't puritanism that discourages promiscuity...it is survival of society.

Personally, I don't care what she does...just stop the whining.

Sebastian said...

"nasty puritanism"

So, who are these nasty puritans? Might they be Karenish progs?

"Single people have lost something important'

This is true. Particularly young single people. Treated unfairly, for no good reason. Of course, many are resisting.

Of all the oppressions triggered by Covid, reverse ageism is one of the worst.

Big Mike said...

Carnalized onions!

If that’s not due to autocorrect or a typo, it’s an inspired piece of writing.

Autocorrect is asshole.

Greg Hlatky said...

I don't give a damn about the fears and concerns of TimesWomen.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

Megan Nolan should put her downtime to productive use by learning to play chess.

DEEBEE said...

Yup, let’s put that in the discussion mix. Random vagina shsmpooing at par with ... pick an ailment, any ailment. It’s amazing how, sometimes your desire to be open leads you to vacuousness

Ann Althouse said...

"Now Ann has baited me into promiscuously spiking my anxiety stew with carnalized onions..."

LOL

I love allusions to recent posts like that.

Howard said...

I can't wait for these whining complaining elites get obliterated in the coming Trumpist reconning.

Iman said...

I has a sad now.

Happy!?!?

hombre said...

Revelation 14:8
‘Another angel, a second, followed, saying, “Fallen, fallen is Babylon the great, she who made all nations drink the wine of the passion of her sexual immorality.”’

Ron Winkleheimer said...

iowan2 has a point, so I will rephrase the question:

How is she going to feel when the guys she wants to have sex with don't want to have sex with her?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

How is she going to feel when the guys she wants to have sex with don't want to have sex with her?

Angry. Upset. It is all their fault. How dare they not want to have sex with HER. There must be something wrong with them THEM. They are losers anyway. Who wants to have sex with those losers! Ageist sexist misogynist pigs!!!!

Am I close?

Shouting Thomas said...

How do people who write this clickbait nonsense know what other people are doing?

Everbody’s watching porn on PornHub and cable TV. The stats prove this.

In reality, there are very few Puritans left. We could use a few.

Howard said...

As seened on Joe Rogan podcast last month...

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.insidehook.com/daily_brief/sex-and-dating/yale-professor-post-pandemic-sex/amp

According to Yale professor Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a sex-crazed period of post-pandemic hedonism is indeed on its way. In his new book, Apollo’s Arrow: The Profound and Enduring Impact of Coronavirus on the Way We Live, Christakis suggests society will greet post-pandemic life with a Roaring ’20s-esque period of indulgence and extravagance, basing his prediction on behaviors that have emerged following pandemics throughout history.

Shouting Thomas said...

@Howard

Yes, I’ve been thinking the same thing.

Everybody’s going to go nuts once the lid comes off.

John henry said...

tim maguire said...

In much of the world, AIDS was not a gay disease.

In much of the world it wasn't even AIDS. it was called that and the myth of heterosexual AIDS promoted because it was a good way to get money from Americans and others.

Tuberculosis, malaria, dysentery and a hundred other diseases endemic to the third world? Meh. Who gives 2 shits. (other than a lot of mainly religious charities}

But call it AIDS and watch the money flow.

Are you familiar with the Bangui diagnosis for AIDS, Tim? You could look it up.

As soon as they started actually testing for HIV 90% of cases went away.

John Henry

JML said...

She isn't a whore, she is Living as a purposefully single and promiscuous person!

Jamie said...

The guy who looked "fondly" down at her in a hotel room and declared, "I love New York" - she takes this as good somehow? I wonder how she came to assign "fondly" to his gaze. It certainly implies, doesn't it, that she wants the men she randomly bangs to feel something for her.

But surely what he meant was, "I can't believe I didn't even have to pay for this!" Men of the blog, what say you?

Bob Smith said...

76 years ago right about now my Uncle’s medical unit in the Ardennes forest was overrun by the counterattacking Germans. He spent the remainder of the war in a POW camp. They dug potatoes out of the frozen ground with their hands. Get back to me about this Christmas.

Darrell said...

a sex-crazed period of post-pandemic hedonism

Nah. The vaccine makes men sterile and impotent. Lefties have decided the ideal, sustainable, Earth population is 1.5 billion.

Jupiter said...

"She's not saying her desire for physical love is more important than children going to school and elderly people staying alive. She's saying the interest in living real life is important too."

She's saying that all lives matter, which means she's a racist. Probably homophobic too. Burn the witch!

Greg The Class Traitor said...

Yes! to everything @stevew said at 7:18 AM

I feel sorry for the elderly who've been shut in and shut away

The "ethicists" and CDC scum who want to push them down the priority list for the vaccine are all worthless bottom feeders

Greg The Class Traitor said...

Jamie said...
But surely what he meant was, "I can't believe I didn't even have to pay for this!" Men of the blog, what say you?

I'd translate it as "I love being in a place with a large supply of cute women willing to bang like a screen door in a hurricane."

It's more "I can't believe I didn't even have to WORK for this!" He probably still paid for dinner. But he didn't have to seduce her, she came diving in.

bonkti said...

The vaccine makes men sterile and impotent.

Can there be any doubt that the prioritizing of PoC to receive the vaccine will be followed by outrage at using PoC as guinea pigs?

mockturtle said...

The Puritans weren't anti-sex. Just anti-sex outside of marriage. And the 'puritan' epithet aimed at them by their detractors referred to their theology, not to their sexual habits.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

In reality, there are very few Puritans left. We could use a few.

Where I live one of the cable channels carries a paid for infomercial every morning at 7:00. The products? Sex toys. We're talking vibrating instruments of pleasure, some of which are used for what is, euphemistically called, back door play.

NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...

The tags for this post made me laugh.

Sam L. said...

I don't read the NYT; I despise, detest, and totally distrust it. And the waPoo, too.

walter said...

Da Fauch on randy-views: "If you're willing to take a risk—and you know, everybody has their own tolerance for risks—you could figure out if you want to meet somebody. And it depends on the level of the interaction that you want to have."

He added: "If you're looking for a friend, sit in a room and put a mask on, and you know, chat a bit. If you want to go a little bit more intimate, well, then that's your choice regarding a risk."

mikee said...

When I was in high school, my best friend had a father who was a fat, drunken, sweaty mess of a man. 350 pounds. Drunk by noon most days. Unemployed. A former pro wrestler of no success.

He had as a girlfriend the mother of another friend of mine. The woman was equally vile, a short, ugly, fat person with the personality of a rotten pineapple.

Their relationship disturbed me, as I did not want ever to imagine them together in the same room, let alone together passionately. There is truly someone out there for everyone, if you look.

That said, intimacy without a relationship is like chili made soley of boiled hamburger meat, without added spices. There is no flavor to it, and one feels greasy after making its acquaintance.

YoungHegelian said...

I just want to assure all my fellow Althousians that, I, unlike some personages in the public eye recently, always wear a face mask when I party with strippers.

Because, I have standards!

PM said...

Life, post-AIDS.

Joe Smith said...

The NYT...what a clusterfuck.

I guess there is no other news.

mockturtle said...

Per YH: Re your linked article @ 11:46,

What's a 'potential' strip club?

SDaly said...

What is a life of masturbation? Videos? Amazon brown boxes arriving with the hopes of a new variation on the same old theme?

Isn't a life of promiscuity the same thing - the hopes of a new variation on the same old theme?

YoungHegelian said...

@mockturtle,

What's a 'potential' strip club?

A strip club that integrates tits & ass over time, just a like a capacitor integrates an electrical charge over time? And don't even get me started on what might be "discharged" when "potential" becomes "actual".

I saw that weird use of "potential", too. I honestly have no idea what it means and I think that it's just an example of poor editing.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

YoungHegelian said...

I just want to assure all my fellow Althousians that, I, unlike some personages in the public eye recently...

"Washington Football Team" (nee Redskins), I love it! Too bad they can't be forced to keep that name permanently.

Leland said...

I can't read Facebook these days. There will always be someone the will comment "wear the damn mask" to anybody that mentions the lockdown. Puritanism is what I think of when I read the statement "wear the damn mask".

Today, they could remake Footloose as maybe Facefree and instead of dancing being the risky behavior; it would simply going outside with a mask. The scolds would be the same people with just something else to demand of others.

Eva said...

‘How is she going to feel when she starts getting older and guys stop wanting to have sex with her and she can't find anyone who wants to be in a relationship with her.’

Fortunately, it doesn’t work like that.

‘She isn't a whore, she is Living as a purposefully single and promiscuous person!’

I probably understand what the word whore means to you and perhaps others. But I think it’s outdated and meaningless. What is a whore? A woman who enjoys sex and decides for herself when and with who she’ll enjoy it? I bet that’s a dream date for a lot of guys.

SDaly said...

Eva -

"Fortunately it doesn't work like that." - For many, many women it has worked like that.

The key word in your last sentence is "dream date". The fact that a woman can almost always find a guy willing to screw her doesn't lead to a happy life.

Eva said...

SDaly- presuming a woman remains attractive and engaging, and I recognize that’s a big presumption, her romantic and sexual life doesn’t have to end as she gets older.

And I think that’s a specific view on sex and what leads to a happy life, for women in particular. If you flip the genders, there’s no assumption that the man is having sex in order to find a ‘happy life’. A happy life results from a complex mix of circumstances, choices and attitudes. A woman can keep her knees shut or wide-open, but there’s no guarantee that things will work out as she wishes, either way. Best to enjoy life in all its fullness. At least you can say you had a good time. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

"I feel sorry for the elderly who've been shut in and shut away"

Uhhh..I'm elderly. Haven't shut in. Don't wear a mask, don't even social distance.

You do that. YOU...do that. What is wrong with you? A virus brings you to your knees? Lord have mercy, what is wrong with you.

I think it's video games. Heh.

Marcus Bressler said...

Men are always buying if pussy is on menu.

Uh, no we're not. Not "too old pussy", not "STD pussy", not "Stick your dick in crazy pussy" and certainly not "feminist pussy". Please permit me to edit your statement so it applies to men: Men are ALMOST always willing to sample if pussy is on the menu, but may give a negative YELP review and NOT RE-ORDER the pussy once sampled. Some other fool or one with lower standards might be satisfied, but not all men and not always. Now, blowjobs, those are a horse of a different color: hard to turn one of those down, pun not intended.

THEOLDMAN

Now the pussy you marry and exchange vows with, you can love and cherish. I'm sorry I missed out on that for if I did I would never go off menu again.

Kirk Parker said...

Eva has obviously never seen the famous chart from OkCupid.

404 Page Not Found said...

I never understood what people see in sex with people you have no feelings for. The few times I tried it, I felt either nothing or just lousy.

Tina Trent said...

Even Elizabeth Wurtzel figured out that sex is a mighty force of love to be respected. Not reduced to gutteral animalism but about procreation, before she died, sadly young, but hard-earned wiser, this year.

Ron Winkleheimer said...

Eva, you might want to ponder the thought that Sex in the City was fictional.

MD Greene said...

Self control is underrated.

"Let me tell you about me" in a NYT op-ed is a pathetic grope for attention.

Anonymous said...

SEX! Nature wants one thing: Reproduction. That's it. Reproduction. Doesn't matter how it happens. It just needs to happen. Young women wear short skirts, young men come a'callin'.

It is a season. There are many seasons in a life.

Some never get past that first season. There's more to life after the chemicals abate.

Hindus recognize the seasons. Americans get plastic surgery and hair dye.

The next seasons are the most astonishing, in a more calm way.

Greg The Class Traitor said...

Eva said...
>>How is she going to feel when she starts getting older and guys stop wanting to have sex with her and she can't find anyone who wants to be in a relationship with her.’

Fortunately, it doesn’t work like that.


Yeah, they may still be willing to screw her.

But, men die faster and younger than women. So she's soon going to be in an environment where there's more women than men, there's, relatively speaking, plenty of women who are willing to just fuck, and the men who are in that market get to be choosy.

Which means, yes, it works exactly like that, WRT relationships.

>>‘She isn't a whore, she is Living as a purposefully single and promiscuous person!’

I probably understand what the word whore means to you and perhaps others. But I think it’s outdated and meaningless. What is a whore?


A whore is a woman who gives sex for financial considerations, rather than for emotional ones.

Right now? She's a cheap whore. Because guys have to pay very little to get her. But all they have to pay is financial.

When she decides she wants a relationship and companionship? THEN she will find she's not even a cheap whore. Because guys aren't going to give her the emotional considerations, OR the financial ones