Althouse: "They had a sketch where they hated each other. And they would just talk about how much they hated each other."

May 19, 2020

"They had a sketch where they hated each other. And they would just talk about how much they hated each other."

"And my sister overheard, and really thought that they hated each other. And then, another time, hearing them arguing and thinking it was rehearsing a sketch, and it wasn’t. So that was part of the energy in the household. They were very different people, but they were so, so devoted to each other. A very beautiful and imperfect relationship, as every relationship is. And so that was our life. And it was part of all of it for us."

From "How Ben Stiller Will Remember His Father/The actor and director on growing up with famous comedians as parents and how his father, Jerry Stiller, saw his son’s career" (The New Yorker).

25 comments:

traditionalguy said...: Fair fights are good for the marriage. And then come the hated Lawyers.; 5/19/20, 10:31 AM
Nonapod said...: I really enjoy this blooper. When you think about how naturally funny that guy was it's sort of amazing that they were ever able to get through takes.; 5/19/20, 10:33 AM
iowan2 said...: My parents best friends lived the life, to breath is to fight. They would question every statement the other made. A simple recitation about them and a chance meeting on the street with someone, would most certainly devolve into a fight about details of the most mundane. But they loved each other unconditionally.

My parents NEVER fought, or raised a voice in anger. My sister 7 years younger that her youngest of 3 brothers asked them after all of us boys had left the house and she was alone with them, why they did not fight like all of her friends parents fought. So the next morning at breakfast mom and dad put on a battle over the way dad's fried eggs came out that morning. I guess it included thrown pans, and the questioning of heritage. My sister came away quite shaken, even though she knew it was an act, she had no idea the nastiness they could muster up.; 5/19/20, 10:51 AM
tcrosse said...: That was not one of their funniest bits.; 5/19/20, 10:51 AM
bagoh20 said...: Jerry Stiller as George Costanza's dad was the best casting in history. He nailed that thing. Funniest character on the show.; 5/19/20, 10:53 AM
Ann Althouse said...: @iowan Amazing story. Would be a great episode in a sitcom.; 5/19/20, 10:55 AM
John henry said...: 60 years married until her death. They must have been doing something right.

I remember them from Ed Sullivan in the 50's and enjoyed them then. Loved her with Carrol O'Connor in Archie Bunker's place. Loved him in Seinfeld.

What a great couple.

Last year I saw Jerry playing Walter Matthau's sidekick in Taking of Pelham 123 in the 70s. Straight dramatic role. Did it very well, too.; 5/19/20, 11:33 AM
CJinPA said...: That's a very enjoyable interview with Ben Stiller. His dad was the overprotective one, his mom tried to let him learn things the hard way.

I never got the appeal of the Costanzas constantly yelling at each other. The characters of Seinfeld's parents yelled at each other, too. All four of them! Is it a Jewish thing?

As Ben Stiller explained, Jerry Stiller was not a yeller. He was a gentle soul. But even he knew that the character of George’s dad wasn’t working until he defied Larry David and began playing him with bombast.

Frank Costanza was originally played by legendary character actor John Randolph, but it wasn’t working. He was replaced and his scenes re-shot.; 5/19/20, 11:48 AM
CJinPA said...: Last year I saw Jerry playing Walter Matthau's sidekick in Taking of Pelham 123 in the 70s. Straight dramatic role. Did it very well, too.

Check out the end of that New Yorker interview with Ben Stiller. It closes with him talking about how much he enjoyed watching his dad in that film.; 5/19/20, 11:51 AM
gspencer said...: So when Frank and Estelle went at each other, he wasn't acting?; 5/19/20, 12:18 PM
traditionalguy said...: Friendly fights must always pull the punches like good stunt men do. See, WWF stunt men “wrestling”. It is all a ballet show.; 5/19/20, 12:23 PM
rcocean said...: Ben Stiller has been in a lot of funny movies, but he was usually the least funny thing in them. He's a nice mediocrity as a performer. His parents were much better. Maybe he's better behind the camera, like Rob Reiner.; 5/19/20, 12:26 PM
Bill Peschel said...: The blooper was interesting in seeing how well Stiller kept a straight face with Elaine laughing in his face. The man had great control.

Jason Alexander talking on the Gottfried show about how he was absolutely thrilled that Stiller was hired to play his father. He loved Stiller and Meara on TV, and here he was true to life. An absolute joy to work with. When Stiller couldn't remember his lines, he'd channel his exasperation into his character, which made it all the funnier.

It was one of those cases where meeting your hero was better than he thought it would be.; 5/19/20, 12:50 PM
Fernandinande said...: My parents NEVER fought, or raised a voice in anger.

Mine neither also; sometimes my Dad would sort-of exclaim "Ye gods!" over something on the news...thinking back on it, I believe having been bombed by Nazis (Mom) and raised in an abusive orphanage and bombed by Nazis (Dad) made them "not sweat the small stuff".; 5/19/20, 12:54 PM
wild chicken said...: Loved her with Carrol O'Connor in Archie Bunker's place. "

What? Anne Meara was on All in the Family?; 5/19/20, 2:30 PM
Amexpat said...: The blooper was interesting in seeing how well Stiller kept a straight face with Elaine laughing in his face. The man had great control.

It was also admirable how he could do it exactly the same each time and not get mad at all the extra work he had to do because of Julia's lack of self contaol.; 5/19/20, 2:37 PM
Bruce Hayden said...: My parents never fought except one time, well after all the boys were out of the house, when I suggested that my mother, first in her class at U Illinois, had given up her career to raise her five sons because my father wanted her to. Whoops. She had, but he hadn’t, believing it er choice.

So I have found myself for the last twenty years with a woman I fight constantly with. It is all verbal, of course, and a lot of it is one upping the other. She has the fastest mind I have ever encountered, but is too literal to get all of my humor (I just regret that I ever met her father who was apparently just as fast, but understood, and made, nonliteral jokes). It took her daughter a number of years to understand that we were mostly just having a lot of fun and were playing to the audience. We never go to bed mad at each other. Not even close. I just have to be aware of when I push too hard and hurt her feelings. Her ex didn’t have a off switch For pushing her, and that hurt. I do, so it has even a decade since I kept pushing when I shouldn’t. Now, I think that we have gotten to the point where our aggressive humor is even comforting at times.; 5/19/20, 2:57 PM
Amexpat said...: Ben Stiller has been in a lot of funny movies, but he was usually the least funny thing in them. He's a nice mediocrity as a performer.

I saw an interview with Joan Rivers where she gave her opinion of some big name comedians. Most of her responses were adulations. For Ben Stiller she just said "lucky", which makes sense as his talent doesn't seem to be commensurate with his success.

Of course at some point repeated success can't be attributed to just luck. So he has to have something going for him. He's the Micheal Douglas of comedy.; 5/19/20, 3:09 PM
Ann Althouse said...: My parents never fought. I never heard them even say anything unkind to or about each other. They spent every evening — unless he was traveling— sitting together having a conversation.; 5/19/20, 4:40 PM
Ann Althouse said...: “ Ben Stiller has been in a lot of funny movies, but he was usually the least funny thing in them....”

Because he’s doing something subtle. I rewatched “Reality Bites” recently and was awed by what he did with a very constricted role as a character you were supposed to dislike and who was a shallow person.; 5/19/20, 4:46 PM
Rory said...: "What? Anne Meara was on All in the Family?"

She was the cook in the bar after the show changed into "Archie Bunker's Place."; 5/19/20, 4:59 PM
John henry said...: Wild chicken

When all in the family went off the air Archie Bunker was resurrected as a widower who wound up owning a bar with Martin Balsam. Archie also wound ud with a 13 year old niece.

Ann Meara was the star of the show, IMHO, as the waitress/barmaid.

It might have been Archie's Place, not Archie Bunker's place.

It was definitely Carroll O'Connor as archie bunker whatever the bar/show name.

John Henry; 5/19/20, 5:13 PM
John henry said...: "archie Bunker's place"
Premier episode

https://youtu.be/PTd0Akgmiz4

No Ann Meara though.

John Henry; 5/19/20, 5:17 PM
Grant said...: I knew someone who knew Stiller and Meara non-professionally. They were kind and generous to my friend. May their memories be a blessing.; 5/19/20, 7:05 PM
gpm said...: Abie's Irish Rose in real life.

I mostly remember them together from the Blue Nun commercials on radio. Saw them separately on various TV shows.

--gpm; 5/19/20, 7:18 PM