From the "How to Do It" column at Slate. The questioner, "SQ," specified that she did not "want to come across as too slutty or overexperienced."
I like the "and/or" in "anybody cool and/or hung will respect you as a woman who knows what she wants." It's trying to enable SQ to sweep anyone who doesn't like this Chapstick approach out of the zone of men worth caring about. And I wonder whether there aren't a lot of men who might "respect you as a woman who knows what she wants" and want nothing to do with you, even if they have what you want.
The question made me think of the expression "pig in a poke" (which has been around since the 16th century). From the Wikipedia article on the phrase:
A pig in a poke is a thing that is bought without first being inspected, and thus of unknown authenticity or quality. A "poke" is a bag, so the image is of a concealed item being sold.
Starting in the 19th century, this idiom was explained as a confidence trick where a farmer would substitute a cat for a suckling pig when bringing it to market. When the buyer discovered the deception, he was said to "let the cat out of the bag," that is, to learn of something unfortunate prematurely, hence the expression "letting the cat out of the bag," meaning to reveal that which is secret....
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57 comments:
I knew the "pig in poke" reference. But what is the etymology of "poke"?
Is this a parody of "show us your tits" or its equivalent?.... I just hope that Elizabeth Warren was not the person asking this question. She doesn't have to go that far to convince the audience of her youth and hipness. They would love her anyway.
That’s the thing about Trump. He lowers the tone of this classy society.
Sounds like in this case it might be a "Poke in a pig".
Never stick your dick in crazy.
At first I thought this was about Nigerian scammers. There is a whole website 419eater.com dedicated to scamming the Nigerian scammers. Mainly by having them do silly things to prove they are real. My personal favorite is this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM5QMKLjjm8 where the scammers are asked to reenact the Monty Python dead parrot sketch
John Henry
You can photoshop either the dick or the chapstick tube.
Another Fake Letter from the Fake News. As others have commented here in the past, Penthouse Forum lives on.
I suppose there are women like that, but really? And writing to GQ? No way.
From the morning after the wedding in "Frankenstein, Part II."
"... last night was like icing on the cake."
"But trust me when I say that marriage is about way more than sex."
"Blackstone says that marriage is one of the great relations of private life."
I'm in luck for my pitch today. The person went to a Jesuit college.
And in the relativistic tyranny of leftist "thought," if the pics measure up, they'll be celebrated as an expression of liberation and women's empowerment. And if the pics do not measure up, they'll be condemned as #MeToo sexual harassment hate crimes.
Correction. The Fake Letter was on Slate. The Althouse Blog has a larger readership than Slate.
"If I’m being generous, maybe 50 percent of the dicks I’ve seen in person have matched their owner’s description of them via apps."
How many men - of any age - send pictures of their penis to women? Other than the convicted felon Anthony Weiner.
Fake Letter. Fake News.
Serious Question
not wanting to date flat chested, homely women is STILL the act of a sexist chauvinistic PIG
Right??
I mean, Any man that is SUCH SCUM, that he can't see (and be attracted to) the inner beauty in a hatchet faced, hideous scitch; is a 'man' that doesn't deserve to breath air?
Right?
I mean, SURE! Women can rule out any interest in a man that's not packing; but not men
Right?
Social Media is changing everything.
I shoot all my dick pics with today's newspaper.
we should really get back to the fashions that framed the cock like that 60s Romeo and Juliet.
we frame our tits. fairness dictates they should frame their cocks, aye?
The "cat out of the bag" expression refers to removing a cat-of-nine-tails out of the carry-bag prior to a discipline-lashing in the Royal Navy. Each cat-of-nine-tails was newly created for the punishment.
"Pig in a Poke" - just like the Dems right now on impeachment "inquiry".
She sounds shallower than a rain puddle. And really, at age 39, how tight is her pussy? If she can be so picky about her prospective partner's genitalia, shouldn't he also be able to be equally picky about hers?
Ok, but if the two expressions are related, why isn't the cat in a poke, or the pig in a bag?
I would guess that a woman would have more luck asking for men with big dicks than a man would have asking for women with tight pussies. But that's just because I have these stereotypes about differences between the sexes. These stereotypes are sexist, and so are you if you share them.
For a man to give any information to answer to SQ's question in a form that can be stored and retrieved is a bad idea. Even men who "respect [her] as a woman who knows what she wants" ought to consider the consequences of unwanted publication in the age of #MeToo.
Are you over-experienced?
Hendrix spins in his grave.
Here is a photo with an obscure South Sea Island coin, which I SWEAR is the size of an Eisenhower half dollar.
The bo'sun keeps his cat of nine tails in a baize bag, so when he lets the cat out of the bag, somebody's getting flogged (until morale improves).
But what does SHE have to offer?
"Dick pics"? In the Leftwing era of "#MeToo" and "That's not Funny!"?
It's a trap! Don't fall for it! Sounds like a Russian agent provocateur - dangling (no pun intended) a nefarious stratagem to compromise right-wing, Trump supporters with their salacious dick-selfies.
Don't fall for it!
No, I will not send you a "dick-pic". I'm an American, Goddamit!
The Navy slang origin story for "let the cat out of the bag" has been debunked.
I'd never heard the pig in a poke story before.
Finally a solution to Ira's problem:
https://www.theonion.com/ugly-man-with-huge-penis-unsure-how-to-get-the-word-out-1819566240
There is this new Asian food called "poke" as in "poke bowl." But it pronounced poe-kay.
My youngest went to college at Santa Clara so she knew all about poke. Nebraska has a few now.
We went to the Grey Whale Poke Bowl in Lincoln and it is close to the UNL campus. My Yelp comment was, "Every sorority good needs a good poke now and then."
The Navy slang origin story for "let the cat out of the bag" has been debunked.
The Navy slang "hung like the sleeve on a pea coat" has not been debunked.
I only had to read half-way through the first sentence to realize that this was a post I did not need to read.
SO I stopped right there....
Three comments before it is Trumps fault. Not a record, but Honorable Mention/Participation Award.
A common request on swinger sites back as the late 90s. Women looking for well endowed (over 8” long) requested proof. So nothing new really.
Ya gotta read the article, it is way more funny than AA's snippit.
iowan2: I knew the "pig in poke" reference. But what is the etymology of "poke"?
It comes from Dutch, I think, but it's the same source that gives us "pouch", "pocket", and even "poach".
I wouldn't say she's slutty or overexperienced. She's just "going for the gusto".
From the article:
"sure as people have penises, they’re going to lie about them."
Yeah, that's right. 'People' have penises. Not 'men', particularly. People in general.
Just show it with a MAGA hat on the head.
So SQ is the "Pig in a poke"?
Hey ladies, please provide evidence your Va-Jay-Jay is tight enough to give me the pleasure I seek. I know you'll understand the wisdom of not wasting both of our time by avoiding that awkward "sticking it out a window" moment.
"Give the pig a poke" = sex with Megan McCain.
I'm pretty sure that Slate Writer got the idea from a Gay Friend.
Do you think she would advise me to add “No fat chicks” to my profile? Demand a pic prior to the date with today’s paper held up, wearing an outfit that doesn’t hide body fat?
Anyway, it’s good that she spares men dating a skank. That part of the advice was right. It’s interesting though that she doesn’t want to appear “over experienced,” she’s right to fear that. Evolution favors the man who is spending his limited time, life force, and effort raising his own biological children and favors the woman free of disease, and so selects for men who prefer their women on the chaste side of the spectrum.
If a nice guy and $9 worth of silicone won’t do it for you, then just possibly you have other issues that men would be well advised to give you a “wide berth” to keep up the naval lingo. Are there any grownups at Slate?
9:1 the writer is a man.
Willard Espy wrote many books on words, and in one of those, discussed this. I am blanking, but I believe there are three expressions that come from his: pig in a poke, cat out of the bag and one other. Anyone remember the third?
Old ditty:
Oh engineers have hairy ears,
We live in caves and ditches.
We drag our cocks across the rocks,
We're hearty sons of bitches.
Just sayin'.
“ You can photoshop either the dick or the chapstick tube.”
Good to know, Yancey Ward! lol
am I the only one who thought "she's" aiming pretty low with chapstick?
The coarsening of the culture continues...
I had thought "letting the cat out of the bag" came from when unwanted kittens were placed in burlap sacks with a couple of bricks and tossed into the river. Occasionally when they would change their mind, they would let the cat out of the bag.
THEOLDMAN
Another dream destroyed.
“ So SQ is the "Pig in a poke"?”
The penis is the pig in a poke. Unless you’re looking for a partner in a nudist camp, you are unable to see that part.
The could make miniature chapsticks for these pictures.
Let the cat out of the bag needs to mean that something that needs to be kept secret is revealed prematurely. Theories about the origin need to fit the mean. Neither the whip nor the drowning scenarios has the right meaning.
Meaning
These mini-versions of toothpaste, shaving cream, prolly chapstick too, are being outlawed in Caliunicornia.
Damn you, Gavin Threesome!
I’d like to know the etymology of the phrase “long as a nickel shoestring.” I already know about letting my “cat” out of this bag.
@ AA 8:25: I agree. Further, if you've ever put a cat INTO a bag, and it happened to escaped, you're not ever going to get that cat back into the bag.
--Rt1Rebel
"take fresh dick pics with an item of your choice in the frame (a tube of Chapstick, a quarter, a small note that you’ve dictated) to help ensure veracity."
I wonder if they sell Chapstick Minis.
"The coarsening of the culture continues..."
No shit. I watched Conan last night. Nikki Glaser was the guest and she was vile as fuck talking about fucking sans lube and the like.
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