"I'm thinking, whatever dude, we're running late just put some kind of clothes on and let's get out the door. I'm pretty politically neutral so while I wouldn't say I was particularly happy he wanted to wear a dress, it also wasn't nearly as upsetting to me as the idea that I could be late for work if we didn't get out the door. I figured ok, I wouldn't ever tell my daughter not to do something because it wasn't ladylike so I shouldn't tell my son not to do something because it isn't manly... Three hours later we get a call to come pick up our son because his outfit is distracting to the other kids and he's being bullied.... My wife is irate asking how I couldn't have realized that was inappropriate and I was setting our son up to fail. So is just about everyone else I've run this by...."
A father submits his story to the subreddit "Am I the asshole?"
Highest rated answer: "NTA [not the asshole] what a refreshing take on parenthood. It seems today so many people are set on telling women they can be anything but men still have to be men and act traditionally manly. You did what your son asked and I think that makes you a pretty great parent. Good on you OP!"
Oh! I see this post is "Locked due to brigading." I have to look up what that means (again). Apparently: "Someone might link to a post within another subreddit. So subreddit A gets linked in subreddit B. People from subreddit B don't like subreddit A and proceed to go to their subreddit and downvote en masse or sometimes harass users." Does that mean I'm "brigading" by blogging this? No, aside from the fact that the post is now locked, I don't think my readers will respond by going over there and downvoting and harassing. That's not why I link to Reddit. I link because I'm interested and to give readers a chance to talk about it here.
As for my opinion of the father in this case, I don't think he's an "asshole" for what he did, but he should have thought about it more than "whatever dude" and he should have included his wife. Did the boy — a second-grader — know what he really wanted or was he being lazy and silly?
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158 comments:
IDGAS
A 2nd grade boy wants to wear a dress to class? Sorry, you got trouble in River city. Or the kid is just stupid. very few normal 7 y/o boys want to dress like girls in public. They're very strong on gender identity at that age. My daughter wouldn't do stuff because "that was a boy thing". But sometimes they'll do it, just to be silly and fun. But not in public.
And what does "politically neutral" mean? So, liberals want their boys wearing dresses in public? Well, all-righty.
Is there a name for obsession with transgenderism?
I have to think this dad KNEW he was going to be declared Not An Asshole, and generally praised for his progressive action.
Yes, letting your second-grader son wear a dress to school because you're running late is bad parenting and bad time management. (Don't know if that fits the definition of "asshole" though. It's more incompetence, probably.)
Dang it. Should be "Not THE Asshole" not "An"...it's right there in the text.
Is there a name for obsession with transgenderism?
Althousian?
"And what does "politically neutral" mean?"
It might mean self-protectively judgment averse.
BTW, I grew up in a family where the parents very much believed in personal freedom and would withhold judgment. It was for us, the kids, to figure out what we wanted. I'm sure they protected us from dangerous options, but that support was invisible to me. Asking for a straight answer — Should I do this or that — would always get reflected back on me to make the decision. I believe they had strong values about individual autonomy. There was nothing weak or indecisive about it, and it wasn't making everything easy for me at all.
What a first world problem. People on social media obsessing about a boy wearing a dress.
For my part, if you want to know, my decision as parent would have been to say, "No, you are not wearing a dress. Now put on pants and a shirt and do it fast because you are making us late. We can talk about it later at dinner."
But this Fox News-like obsession with trannys reminds me of this recent post at The Bulwark. A lovely demolition of this character who has been given a column at the New York Post.
It's so nice to have Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham and the New York Post all keeping us safe from The Tranny Threat. They must know that it makes for great ratings. Is that also the Althouse theory? Moar page hits? I know that it beats hell out of boring old health care reform. Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity would sooner do a month of programs on transvestites than a single program on Trump's health care promises and how to achieve them.
Is there some way to fact check this? Did the father really not think what his son would be subjected to or is this just another troll?
Yes, I think the dad is an asshole. He wants credit for being progressive and is either too stupid, or just doesn't care about the inevitable harassment his son would have to endure.
What I would have done is tell my son, "You will be attracting a lot of attention, which I think will be of a kind you won't like. So change into boy clothes or keep on the girl clothes if you agree and understand that you will be having an unhappy day."
That's a new twist on an old school Dad move calling kids bluff so he learns mistake in the world.
There is an (not so) old adage if the headline asks a question, the answer is no.
Am I the Asshole flips this on its head.
"I'm pretty politically neutral...."
Politics has nothing to do with this. It's about being a decent parent and person. Use your head man!
How old is this kid?
I'll say it: You're a fucking idiot. What the hell is wrong with you? You are way worse than an asshole.
This story is a perfect example of how fucked up some people are today and how liberalism has invaded every aspect of society.
The fact that this fucking idiot even thinks that this has to do with politics and what he allowed is even within the realm of reason, shows the power of the liberal narrative.
The dad was right.
The boy learned: action and consequence.
The classmates learned their own ugliness: bully people they didn't agree with.
The teachers learned: they were inadequate teachers who failed to rein in the bullies.
As the wise one said: it is a learning moment.
Transsocial, perhaps. It would be interesting to know if his choice was normalized by nature or nurture (e.g. Reddit).
A decision that should’ve been given far more time and input from his wife to decide, sort of lazy and assholish to make something like this be a snap decision.
About five-ten years ago I read a story about a Canadian couple who were raising their kids to be gender neutral. One of the kids was named Jazz. Apparently, the kids would decide their gender latter in life.
My first thought: the kids should be taken from the parents for child abuse.
My liberal brother thought it was okay. No. Sorry. It is totally and completely wrong. Child abuse. Kids need to be instructed. They are children. They don't know any better. Might as well let babies change their own diapers and feed themselves.
His wife has the correct answer. Negligent parenting by not consulting the other half of the partnership who would have nipped that shit in the bud, pronto.
When it comes to children, I think you always have to be pretty clear about explaining the potential consequences of the decisions they make. In my opinion, this parent failed to make clear to his child the potential consequences of what may have simply been the frivolous decision of a little kid (as opposed to some idealized notion of a child exploring his identity). Did the kid fully grasp what he was doing?
Ultimately, as society tries to normalize more and more fringe behaviors in an attempt to be more open and tolerant, ironically we have to be careful not to impose our new tolerance on others too aggressively, especially on our own children.
Once you go Pro-Choice... Social constructs are designed to normalize a favorable juxtaposition (e.g. discernment) of the sexes. That said, perhaps the father hoped to mitigate the progress of "rebel with a cause", a game of chicken. Perhaps he thought a consensus would be the better teacher, which is a risky gamble in today's social climate.
Trannie Trigger #2. Sorry, but in the real world, parents make unilateral decisions all the time. Should Dad requisition in triplicate?
Not an asshole, but too politically correct for his family's good.
If it had been me and my spouse was not available for a quick consult, I would have told the kid, "If you wear that dress you may get picked on by the other kids, and I don't think it's a good idea, but if you really want to do it, OK."
As it is, the kid learned a lesson, in a week it will be ancient history, and life will go on.
The dad should have directed his son to the men's fashion subreddit. I hear it's a nice place.
You did what your son asked and I think that makes you a pretty great parent.
Bottle rockets and candy bars for breakfast, please!
What elkh1 said....
Setting up kids for the occasional failure makes them antifragile
Men have to be men and should act manly.
My two cents.
it also wasn't nearly as upsetting to me as the idea that I could be late for work if we didn't get out the door
Ya know, if ya gotta chose between TWO things:
1) possibly being late for work
2) Setting your son up for a Life of HELL
Don't be late for work! If you're heading to work, and your daughter wants to wear a bra instead of a shirt... GET TO WORK! It will be a refreshing take on parenthood
If your boy wants to wear an Iowa t-shirt to Ames High... GET TO WORK! refreshing take on parenting
to SET YOUR CHILD UP FOR RIDICULE
IF you believe that your child should chose, on their own, what they should wear; shouldn't SOMEONE think it through? NOT the sort of thing to decide, because you could be late for work
The dad didn't even stop to ask his son why he wants to wear a dress to school?
Maybe the kid wanted his father's attention. Apparently it's not easy to get.
The father isn't an asshole. He's an idiot.
Dresses, body piercing, tattoos. Whatever, I just need to get to work parenting.
At least most Black fathers are actually absent.
Maybe you don't let 7 year olds decide on their school attire.
At what point does an idiot become an a**hole?
""And what does "politically neutral" mean?" It might mean self-protectively judgment averse."
It might also mean prog posturing for the sake of enhancing self-regard and public approval.
"they had strong values about individual autonomy"
Great, but unfortunately, autonomy tells you nothing about what to do. And of course, leaving the Althouses out of it, progs who might pay lip service to it don't believe what they profess to believe: the kid should be able to enjoy the autonomous choice of a dress, but the other boys should not enjoy the autonomy of expressing their disapproval. Prog autonomy only cuts one way.
I don't believe any of the anecdotal stories that are being told this morning and commented on here.
The hazing the boys at school subjected this kid to is quite understandable. They were acting in obedience to primordial/atavistic species imperatives. The cross-dressing kid contributes nothing to the pack's survival. He is a burden on his fellow pack-members. He upsets the social order and the efficiencies of outcomes order ensures. He is dangerous for just that reason.
Chuck said:For my part, if you want to know, my decision as parent would have been to say, "No, you are not wearing a dress. Now put on pants and a shirt and do it fast because you are making us late. We can talk about it later at dinner."
I actually agree with Chuck on this response. Get ready for school. Focus on the task right in front of your.
Besides, those are his sister's clothes and he needs to get her permission first. Don't have time. GET READY. Now.
Discuss it later.
I think the post on Reddit is a troll post. And I also DGAF.
At what point does an idiot become an a**hole?
Not sure, but the dad certainly reached that point and then went beyond it.
Here's what the noted Arkansas child sociologist J.R. Cash said about this problem.
Second look at school uniforms?
What is it about liberalism that insists upon being at the cutting edge in every social issue?
Many liberals (now leftists) seem to lack the ability to discriminate among worthwhile and frivolous causes.
Doing this to the school makes him an jerk.
Kids are kids. All three of my boys by 6th grade got called "gay" one time or another, nice thing is that the teachers can talk to the other student about why not to use the term as a slur.
Thoughtless now all the parents have to deal with it.
The kid was 6 or 7. Not even the age of reason.
If the kid wanted to jump off a cliff or go through the Norden Chute, would Dad let him?
The son went for brinkmanship with his dad and the dad failed.
You don't even have to bring gender norms into it. Just say: you can't wear your sister's clothes, they're hers. Now get dressed quickly before I pick out your clothes for school.
He is the asshole because he set his son up for ridicule and bullying. I don't give a crap that he's politically neutral and doesn't care. He failed in his responsibility to protect his young son.
The top commenter and their up voters know where they can stick their manipulative opportunistic politics.
The kid will hate his dad forever and be scared for life because his dad was a FUCKING IDIOT.
When i was in 4th grade, i got the idea (from watching a war movie on TV), that:
It'd Be NEAT! to wear Gaiters. They Looked, SO COOL!
So, that day, when i got dressed; i took some hiking sox, and put them on Over my jeans (to be like Gaiters). I walked upstairs to have breakfast and my mom said;
"What's with that?"
and I told her about the gaiters, and she said: "Whatever, I don't Care, Wear them to school"
That was 47 years ago, do Any of you think i've forgiven her yet?
The kid learned that wearing girl's clothes will result in bullying. A practical, real-life lesson. Maybe not the best way to teach it, but if the dad had just said "No," would the kid have learned anything?
Did the boy — a second-grader — know what he really wanted or was he being lazy and silly?
I'm voting for "lazy and silly."
Second look at school uniforms?
Everyone wears a burlap bag. Sort the boys, girls, and others later, to mitigate the progress of a disruptive environment.
"...but he should have thought about it more than "whatever dude" and he should have included his wife. "
He's rushing around, trying to herd the kids and get to work.
What is the wife doing?
Since I didn't read the link I'm going to assume the wife was in the bedroom getting fucked by her boyfriend.
(meek male voice at closed bedroom door) 'Honey? Is it OK if Bobby wears a dress to school today?"
Wife: YES! YES! YESSSSSSSS!
I am Laslo.
No, it's not lesson learned for the kid, now he can move on. If the family and community are at all stable, he will be with these same kids until he goes to college. He will enter that bully nirvana commonly called middle school with those same kids who make sure all the new kids know. Daddy better find some serious time to spend supporting and and teaching the kid now to deal. Do you th I k that is likely?
I guess what I'm saying, is IF the parent CARES about their child;
They'll talk these things through BEFORE the bullying starts.
Sebastian said...
At what point does an idiot become an a**hole?
Under the terms of that thread, IMO, "Am I the asshole?" just means "am I the one who was wrong?"
There is no question this father was wrong. Therefore, yes, he is the asshole. Even though to his face we might just say is a lazy parent.
Classic Laslo!
Thanks for the laugh.
Perhaps next week his son will want to go with a KKK hood and robe. At least the father will be at work on time.
Maybe the kid wanted his father's attention. Apparently it's not easy to get.
That is a reasonable deduction. So, the boy chooses silly and frilly at his age, and would make another choice as he matures. Or, he's playing a game of chicken (e.g. rebel with a cause), and his dad may have been first to kneel.
"Did the boy — a second-grader — know what he really wanted or was he being lazy and silly?"
Yes, he's an asshole. It's called parenting and it isn't ruled by politically correct bullshit.
One of the truly beautiful things about being the father of sons is the ability to look into their eyes and, very nearly, be able to read their minds. Their hopes, their uncertainties, their fears. Because you've been a little boy and you know, changing times notwithstanding, how a little boy's world operates. Of course, if you're an asshole who's more worried about appearing virtuous to other assholes than about your son's happiness, you'll conveniently forget all that. What a douchelord.
I think everyone learned something. Boy learned about gender norms. Dad learned about doing things without thinking. Mom learned to pay attention to morning routine. Reddit learned about what actually happens when you are put a dress on a boy in the real world.
Heck, you can make the argument he's a good dad because he taught his son what happens when you do something outlandish. Don't wear whatever clothes you want because it matters.
Ann, I think you're hedging. Are you saying that if the father thought about it and provided some sort of detailed reasoning to support the decision he wouldn't have been an asshole? It's not a poor decision, only a poorly reasoned decision? Or maybe it's a poorly written article, because the father fails to elaborate on his reasoning.
THINK! THINK!
I let my kids make mistakes. They learn a lot more than simply to do what I say.
Meanwhile, the Powers That BE want us (DEMAND US) to Ban All Red Caps
Everyone is Entitled to wear/BE ANYTHING THEY WANT, but!
NO ONE should be allowed to express Red Cappedness
Seriously, WhatIF the second grader wanted to wear a MAGA hat to school
Would THAT make daddy late for work?
"I told them both it was time to get ready for school and his twin sister pulled a bunch of dresses out of her closet. My son picked one up and said 'I want to wear this.'""
Interesting. I remember raising boys, and sometimes they WANTED ice cream for dinner, or WANTED to stay up past midnight on a school night, or WANTED to watch tv and not do their homework.
And, as I recall it wasn't that hard to exercise parental judgement and say NO.
It's good to highlight how idiotic parents (like this dad) think and reason. Pretty pathetic.
Maybe not the best way to teach it, but if the dad had just said "No," would the kid have learned anything?
As I said above, I think it's important to at least first establish for the kid why it might not be a good idea in the first place. When a kid is eyeing a hot stove, you first tell them "No, that's hot, you'll burn yourself and it will hurt a lot." If they then go on to try to touch it and inevitably recoil quickly from pain, not only will they learn from experience, but maybe next time they might take what you say a little more seriously.
I'm actually surprised the school didn't insist on calling the boy "she/her" and force the parents into counseling on how to properly raise a trans child.
Maybe not the best way to teach it, but if the dad had just said "No," would the kid have learned anything?
As I said above, I think it's important to at least first establish for the kid why it might not be a good idea in the first place. When a kid is eyeing a hot stove, you first tell them "No, that's hot, you'll burn yourself and it will hurt a lot." If they then go on to try to touch it and inevitably recoil quickly from pain, not only will they learn from experience, but maybe next time they might take what you say a little more seriously.
Re: Nonapod:
When it comes to children, I think you always have to be pretty clear about explaining the potential consequences of the decisions they make. In my opinion, this parent failed to make clear to his child the potential consequences of what may have simply been the frivolous decision of a little kid (as opposed to some idealized notion of a child exploring his identity). Did the kid fully grasp what he was doing?
Probably not, but children like trying all kinds of things that other people find irritating or inappropriate. As these things go, it's a pretty harmless experiment (compared to, say, deciding he wants to go to school nude or something), and it seems like this all got resolved in the span of a day. One feels sorry for the little boy here, but I don't think anyone goes through early life without getting mocked by his classmates at least once. Parents can protect them from some of that, but not all of that. Presumably he'll just wear trousers like other little boys from now on.
I agree with what dad did.
Let the boys wear dresses. They saw it last night on RU-Paul TeeVee.
I don't give a shit about my son so long as I get to work on time is pretty fucking far from a "refreshing take on parenthood". It's negligence. Parents are in charge and need to take charge. Letting his son wear a dress to school so he isn't late and doesn't care does make him an asshole because he placed his own short term well-being ahead of his son's. SON. BOY. MALE.
"... and it seems like this all got resolved in the span of a day."
Ehhhhhhh, I wouldn't be so sure. Kids can be cruel, as they say. This boy will be remembered for years as the one who dressed as a girl. Of course you can hope that kids are more enlightened and forgiving about such things these days (and perhaps in some pockets they actually are). But chances are this boy is going to have a rough go of it for some time.
He's an asshole for prioritizing work over his children, and his children are learning from him. The "whatever dude" attitude is fine, if you and other stakeholders truly don't care. So his son has learned not to care about his appearance at school. Both the school, other classmates, and most important the mother/wife do care. The father should have taken some time from his busy work schedule and explained why "how you dress is as important at school and work as showing up on time".
The Venn diagram of people who think a 7 year old boy should be allowed to wear a dress to school and people who believe a 7 year old should be allowed to wear a MAGA had to school is the Null set.
he should have thought about it more than "whatever dude"
--
Yes.."dude" is so presumptive.
Especially when referring to Charlie Sykes.
If I had worn a dress to school in 2nd Grade, I think my black friends woulda beat my ass during recess for being a moron. They were a rambunctious, but lovable lot.
I had a conventional 1950s, small town upbringing. Pop was a WWII vet. Both parents tried to live their faith. I have three brothers, and the message from my parents was, you boys are going to be friends, and we love you all the same. It worked out well. The fatherly message was to be considerate of others, to be strong, and to be loving to those who needed it.
My father never would have let any of us get exposed to the ridicule that would have followed from one of us wearing a dress to school in the second grade. This guy is not fulfilling his role as a father— to be strong, to be wise, to be loving, and to protect his children. Shame on him.
No, the father is not an asshole - he's merely an imbecile.
Also, if gender identity is an issue, a tee shirt and jeans are androgynous enough for anyone at the age.
Back in the day, a boy in a dress would be a problem that took care of itself. Yes - teasing, mocking, bullying... the torture of a day in a dress at school would have ended that fetish.
Now the other kids get in trouble for being... wait for it.... kids.
Will and Grace are in charge now. The progressive gay mafia rulez.
I don't even let my kids wear shirts with words.
Also, if gender identity is an issue, a tee shirt and jeans are androgynous enough for anyone at the age.
Yeah. Do girls even wear dresses to school? Mine didn't. Even in private school uniforms they wore pants.
Also, if you are in Scotland, it may be OK to wear a kilt, but I am not sure.
Anyone?
Kid thinks dad is stressed trying to get to work I’ll push him and see if he lets me wear this dress or wasted time with me, showing I’m more important than work.
Dad says whatever I’m not going to late for work again (and you know it’s a chronic problem from the article)
Mom says he’s an idiot because he’s failed (yet again) at a simple task.
It’s not about the dress.
It’s about the dad screwing up. Which he has done by seemingly prioritizing work but not really because if he did, he’d have the kids out on time so he’d be on time.
And yes I have kids.
Wear a dress once, you are always "That kid that wore the dress".
Your senior year, a certain type of teacher will be still be pulling you aside and telling you "It's OK to be who you are. Don't let society force you into a traditional gender role." Which sucks, especially if you are a typical heterosexual teenage boy.
Your 50th high school class reunion, they will still bring up that one day you wore the dress.
So tell the kid to take off the dress and put on pants. If the Kid is really that invested in wearing dresses, you can deal with it later.
Re: if gender identity is an issue.
Why not send the kid to school buck naked? The issue should resolve itself over time.
Also, then the dad passively aggressively submits this to reddit so he can feel affirmed that he’s not a loser who can’t get to work on time. And he knows he’ll get affirmations from the trannies.
I'm thinking of an experiment the dad could have tried.
Instead of posting about how he let his son make this choice, and asking for affirmation, he could have posted a counterfactual about telling his son Hell No and making him dress like a boy, then asked if he was the asshole.
As the online abuse rolled in from the outrage brigade, he could have reminded himself, I'm a grown-up. I can take it. I don't have to see these people in person every weekday til late spring.
And he might even have reflected: This is the nearest equivalent, in my world, to what I just let my son bring on himself.
The father is a total asshole. The story is about him and may or may not be true. Probably made up to polish his wokeness. In any event he is an asshole.
2cnd graders are children. Not small adults. Ours were fully autonomous whith in their sphere of ability. Peas or corn? red tennies or black? One cartoon or the other? Yes the had lots of choices to make. Dressing for the day? Sure. With in reason. Iowa demands appropriate attire. Getting dressed and when? Not really a decision, just something that they were responsible for and knew exactly, our expectations.
My wife tried the non-gender rearing model, and I only supported her efforts. She bought and expensive doll for our son for Christmas. The concept never did catch with the boy. Conversely my wife never bought a train set for my daughter. Never entered her mind. This exposes the "gender neutral" concept as a fraud. I never hear of experts recommending giving young girls male identified toys.
I total reject the notion that pre-pubescent children identify as anything but kids. Not a gender, and no hint of sexuality.
This is crap being pushed by the self identified moral and intellectual superiors attempting to rule the masses. Truly a sign of President Trumps astounding success leading this nation, and the world by executing his duties of office.
I was having a tough time going to my first day of Kindergarten in Oakland. Still kinda attached to my blanket (Hey, I was 5 and Dad had already bailed!).
So, my Mom, the McGuyver of motherhood, cut out a hole in the center of the blanket to put my head through, and told me to wear it like an Indian poncho. (Cowboy and Indian movies were regularly on TV back then).
At school, my Poncho made a minor ruckus. No bullying, but a lotta mockery, commentary and unwanted attention. On Day 2, screw this, the Poncho/blanket went bye-bye, never to be seen again.
And, on a wonderful note, the two main "Poncho-attackers" became my best friends then, and remain so, nearly 50 years later!
The Law of Unintended Consequences at work. Don't be a Poncho denier.
The wife was exactly correct. Through his lack of foresight and complete misalignment of priorities, he set that kid up for failure. That makes him an asshole.
@BAG - LOVE the poncho story.
My oldest son (now 23) wanted a pink bike - his reward for getting off training wheels was a new bike. I told him that he'd get a lot of abuse for it, so how about pink streamers for the handles and see how that goes.
He was back in five minutes asking to have them removed. I have no idea what lies he told to make that go away.
-XC
PS - I'd call that other dad an *sshole to his face, if I liked him and we were friends.
Exactly, Bay Area Guy. After a bad day at school in a dress (or a poncho) the dress (or the poncho) goes bye bye. Lesson learned. Kids are mean. Life is hard. eat. poop. grow old and die.
If six-year-old boys are old enough to get an abortion, then they're old enough to choose wearing a dress.
I am Laslo.
Freeman Hunt said...
I don't even let my kids wear shirts with words.
This is a great idea.
Growing up, I recall my father getting upset at the notion of wearing a t-shirt with an advertisement on it. Like "Adidas" or "Nike" or whatever... Why on earth would anyone want to walk around wearing a shirt advertising for a company that isn't even paying you to do so?
To this day, I don't wear shirts with words. most shirts with words are advertisements for products.
Hey Dad I'm dressed as a unicorn.
Father thinks to himself: How did he find the wife's strap on?, "Whatever dude".
Beasts of England said...
Second look at school uniforms?
**************
Careful....you might wind up with boys wearing those old-fashioned middy dresses.
You did what your son asked
When I was in the second grade I asked for a BB gun and a hatchet. Dad gave me both for my birthday. Just because I asked. Times change.
Child abuse.
We'd just moved to Charleston from RI and the stores were cleaned out, so my mother regretfully sent 5 y.o. me to first grade with a Mary Poppins lunchbox--at a boys' school.
Setting up kids for the occasional failure makes them anti-fragile
And resentful for life. When I was this age or younger, my father gave me tabasco instead of ketchup at a restaurant. I've never touched the stuff since.
My relationships with both parents were a bit detached.
This is crap being pushed by the self identified moral and intellectual superiors attempting to rule the masses. Truly a sign of President Trumps astounding success leading this nation, and the world by executing his duties of office.
Exactly. And he even has the solution tot he BREXIT crisis.
Plus, I like Laslo's explanation of what the mother was doing when the kids were getting dressed.
To this day, I don't wear shirts with words
MeToo, but soon school kids will have to announce their pronouns on their shirts.
Denman said...
Is there some way to fact check this? Did the father really not think what his son would be subjected to or is this just another troll?
Reddit is full of made up stories and experiences. Some pretty good, some not.
Laslo makes a good point
If a dad is Constantly Late for work, on account of because his wife INSISTS on him watching her boyfriend cornhole her, the dad has More than enough problems without having to pick his son's clothes
More evidence of the benefits of school uniforms, which I wore for 12 years.
Lemme guess. Dad would have NEVER let the kid wear a MAGA hat to school, but a dress - no problem.
If the father is really enlightened, he'll enter his son in one of the kiddie drag queen shows popping up around the country (see recent laudatory NYT article). "Sexualize and Then Sodomize" appears to be a new motto of the left.
I asked my niece about the skirt v pants thing at her RC school. She could choose and most opted for pants because it eliminated the skirt length fight.
"his outfit is distracting to the other kids and he's being bullied"
Ought not the blame go to the distracted bullies?
Don't have a lot to say about this other than:
I am with the dad, though as someone else noted he might have asked the kid "Do you really want to do this? You are going to have a bad day at the school if you do. But your body your choice."
If girls can wear pants, why can't boys wear dresses and skirts? Equal rights are not just for women.
Why can't the school control it's students? Why does the parent have to come pick the kid up?
If the 7 year old boy was "officially" transgender, he would not only be allowed to dress like a girl, he would be praised for doing so. Not gonna read the story but I gather that he was a boy in a dress, not a boy pretending to be a girl.
John Henry
Dad's an asshole. And where is Mom? In a normal home this wouldn't be a problem since the kids would have had their clothes out and ready before bedtime.
And doesn't the school have the responsibility to protect the boy from bullies?
"BTW, I grew up in a family where the parents very much believed in personal freedom and would withhold judgment. It was for us, the kids, to figure out what we wanted."
I bet you never asked to do anything really challenging to their values or the values of your community, so the comparison is not very apt.
My parents were very hands-off, and I got away with a lot. Unless I did something illegal or very embarrassing to them, they didn't get involved, but if I did cross that line, it was corporal punishment plus loss of freedoms. Neither of which was really all that punishing, but knowing that they did not want to punish me, and the realization that I disappointed them enough to get them to do it anyway was what really kept me in line. Therefore it was their willingness to enforce a standard that actually guided my behavior. If I knew they would tolerate anything I did, I'd probably be in jail or dead by now.
Doing what the kid asked seems like the stupidest form of parenting.
You are the adult. You should have better judgment to know what the bigger picture is.
You are also a partner. Making a major decision like that without input from your partner dishonors that partnership.
Are you an asshole? Yes. You are an asshole. Just because The Big Lebowski is a funny movie, it's not a guide for being a good parent. Grow the hell up.
End rant.
at her RC school. She could choose and most opted for pants because it eliminated the skirt length fight.
My daughters all wore shorts under shirts to school. All in private schools, some RC.
I expect that the future will see this time in our culture as silly and foolish. If we don't get to that reformation, then it means the culture actually became silly and foolish to its core. That would be an existential mistake. Every good quality can be made into a fault if sufficiently extended toward absurdity. Tolerance and diversity have gotten there, and those things were central to our success as a nation and a culture. Not ruining those virtues through over-extension is the challenge of our time. I'm not sure if we will live up to that challenge. It's very hard for people to embrace that something they love can be a bad thing too. We cling, like the frozen passengers on the Titanic - believing what got us so far is unsinkable.
Blogger Char Char Binks said...
And doesn't the school have the responsibility to protect the boy from bullies?
How does that happen, exactly?
Surround the boy with "school" people, and before little Johnney can point and laugh "He's wearing a dress--HA-Ha", the school people muzzle and bag him, hauling him off to detention?
So what is the purpose of the parenting? Are they just personal assistants, cooks and Uber drivers? It reminds me of other species that just feed their offspring, and then leave them to the elements as soon as they can feed themselves. "It takes a village" was another value that got taken too far. The village used to have shared values including respect and duties for parents. That's why it worked before, and doesn't now.
I will take "Completely Fabricated Story For Reddit Upvotes" for $2000, Alex.
What's the probability that a 7-year-old kid just spontaneously asked to wear a dress to school? Out of the blue, no exposure to "transgender" notions, from anybody, ever, reality exactly as described by reddit anecdote? Very small, I'd say. Not zero - a naturally very effeminate boy might do just that. But these days? Not the way to bet.
The more I think about this 'post', the more I think the incident didn't happen. Father just wanted some positive feedback on his wokeness [as was noted earlier], especially from females.
Fake news, yes but suitable grist for the Althouse mill.
While I agree the kid learned a lesson; it is like the kid learning not to touch a hot stove because "whatever dude" I've got more important things like work to do than to care for my offspring. I agree with DavidUW97, the dad has other problems with being chronically late. Hopefully he'll grow to be a better parent, but I'm thinking his wife probably has grounds for finding a better father for her children.
This foolishness is a result of feminism absurdism which holds that what women do is naturally superior to what men would choose. Thus a boy who wants to be a girl is trying to be better, a girl who wants to be a boy is expressing her rights, a girl who wants to be a girl is OK, but within limits, but a boy who wants to be a boy is a problem, unless he expresses complete submission to the values of feminism absurdum. There is no place for a unapologetic male and that's being enforced from first grade, if not sooner.
It could be fake, but everyone is fully exposed to transgender notions on daily basis today, including being instructed and admonished for getting it wrong.
We must be living in the most prosperous time in the history of mankind if people are actually spending their time arguing over a second-grade boy wearing a dress to school.
Had he said no, and posted the story Althouse would have voted he is the asshole. Just sayin.
The more I think about this 'post', the more I think the incident didn't happen. Father just wanted some positive feedback on his wokeness [as was noted earlier], especially from females.
Why believe the author is a father? Or a male?
I'm thinking, whatever dude, we're running late just put some kind of clothes on and let's get out the door.
He's too busy and self-centered to be a proper parent -- or any parent in any sense of the word.
You did what your son asked and I think that makes you . . .
No he didn't. He dismissively said, "whatever dude."
“Is there a name for obsession with transgenderism?”
Yes. Cruel neutrality.
Regardless of the story, posting a story about your embarrassed kid to “Am I the Asshole” makes you the asshole.
What if he wanted to wear a dress and a MAGA hat?
Yancey Ward said...
I will take "Completely Fabricated Story For Reddit Upvotes" for $2000, Alex.
I agree. In addition to all of the other objections, there is no way that his sister would let him wear her dress. My granddaughter would beat up her younger brother if he ever touched any of her stuff.
The parents of the real transgender kid coming to your public school in a dress next week are going to sue the hell out of the school district if the don't get a handle on discipline there.
It was nice of this asshole poseur dad with the temporarily crossdressig to be an accommodating progressive. Nice to the district, but the physician of the transgender kid likely won't recommend similar treatment.
no offense Ann but your parents sounded like lazy drunks. liability insurance is needed today for those who refuse to parent. the kids' learning curve is too costly today. other people's parents put
a higher value on their kids.
Personally i think you had crappy parents Ann. Leaving it up to a kid to decide what to do at an early age is plain stupid and as someone mentioned , child abuse. You didn't know your ass from your elbow as a child. They didn't do anything when you were sexual abused, no guidance on your major in college wasting years until you became a lawyer. Your first marriage was a bust leaving you a single mother for over 30 years. Hope you instilled some values in your kids.
"Growing up, I recall my father getting upset at the notion of wearing a t-shirt with an advertisement on it. Like "Adidas" or "Nike" or whatever... Why on earth would anyone want to walk around wearing a shirt advertising for a company that isn't even paying you to do so."
Ha! My father said the same thing! The aversion stuck.
I call BS on the story. The father claims he let the kid do what he wanted to in the interest of saving time. The kid is seven. Dad just says "Get your own clothes on right now. It's not up for discussion." and it happens. If it doesn't, direct disobedience takes about five seconds to correct. Competent parents, especially Dads, know this.
That's my point Jeff.
Kids that run the house and control the adults at 7 are dangerous outside the house at 17. Parent them.
If you can't control your kid when little, you won't have any grater control later. People will sue if your kid creates damages outside the home to others.
Of course he's not an asshole. But allowing your very young child to wear something bizarre, on a whim, isn't a good decision. Unfortunately if he keeps going to the same school, kids will always think of That Time Tim Wore A Dress through the years. Our son started kindergarten a little young, didn't do well, and we had him repeat. Eight years later kids who had been in his original class still referred to him having repeated KINDERGARTEN. Sheesh.
I don't even let my kids wear shirts with words.
Fist bump. Clothes with words on them (other than college t-shirts on game day) are so common. At church on Sunday a little boy went to the communion rail wearing a Nike t-shirt that said BEAST MODE. I mean, Jesus doesn't care, etc. but, yuck.
Dad, I'm going to cut my dick off. Is it OK to use your razor blade?
Use Mommy's.
But hurry up! We don't want to be late.
Any parent who would permit a second grade boy to wear a dress to school needs to be be beaten to death.
BEFORE the kid leaves the house....
This not very good father just wanted to virtue signal, the sorry ass. We're coming to a bad end.
That guy failed as a father.
I don't care if ITA for saying so.
More Althouse deviancy normalization. Post enough of these BS stories, and we will all eventually celebrate the deviants.
I don't even let my kids wear shirts with words.
If you change your mind be sure to get high quality shirts covered with educational words from Engrish.com
"CALM DOWN
MONKEY
You look happy today
A litte say anything
What's that smell?"
"I hate my life
Every day I polish
my revolver and shoot my head
like a rock star."
And a personal favorite,
¡DANGER!
"A dangerous toy. This toy is being made for the extreme priority and good looks. The little part which suffocates when the sharp part which gets hurt is swallowed is contained generously. Only the person who can take responsibility by itself is to play."
The more I think about it, the more I agree with the commenter who said it never happened.
No parent is that stupid.
This whole story had me play Johnny Cash's "A boy named Sue" a few times today. Maybe that's what the father was going for? Toughening up his son "Kaiden" by letting dress up as a girl? Otherwise it sounds like a bunch of hooey from Reddit.
The cross-dressing kid contributes nothing to the pack's survival.
Perhaps he contributes less to the pack than most of its members, but most evolution occurs at the individual level, rather then the group ("pack") level, so why are the others, boys I presume, trying to drive him out of the pack despite the fact that he will probably provide less competition for females than the more normal boys while helping them reproduce their own genes by farming for, or defending etc., the pack?
The more I think about this 'post', the more I think the incident didn't happen. Father just wanted some positive feedback on his wokeness [as was noted earlier], especially from females.
Spot on.
It's very likely he just got caught making a pass at the babysitter and now needs to reinforce his self-image a as Righteous Dude.
I found this true with all liberals - the more they virtue signal, the more of a douchebag they are in their personal lives.
"No parent is that stupid"
I wished I lived in your innocent world.
Otto said...
Personally i think you had crappy parents Ann. ...
9/9/19, 2:30 PM
I rarely backslap on blogger, but let me say that I am frequently amazed at your perspicacity re the hostess. If you are a sockpuppet by Althouse/Meade you are certainly the best one ever.
And Dad-if you got called to school, because your kid got buggered in the toilet/stairs/broom closet at school and was unconscious and bleeding from both ends...
Would you need to ask if you were the asshole?
Robyn Wright doesn't even know his name: Sgt. 1st Class Elis Barreto Ortiz, 34, from Morovis, Puerto Rico.
Althouse: :"You're wrong. The name is in the article. Why make assertions without checking?"
I did check. My mistake was when I got to the bottom of the page where it says:
MORE FROM
Our Columnists
I thought that was the end. Although now I see the article continues beyond that. Thank you so much for taking the time to point out my mistake.
Althouse: Really, Fen, your commenting needs improvement.
No, it really doesn't. It's been very sharp lately, more than usual. You are just saying that because I challenged you yesterday on another topic and you are holding a grudge. You sure you want to play that game? Because I am more stubborn than you.
Althouse: I'm going to start deleting you a lot more, beginning with this comment in half an hour. You may copy what you've written and attempt to rewrite it. If you don't want to go to the link and read or you need and don't want to get a subscription, you need to be circumspect about what you say is in the article.
OH. GO. FUCK. YOURSELF.
I will now happily copy everything I post here to repost 10 times over every time you delete it. And if you manage to ban this profile I will make several more and do it all over again.
OR
You can front page a public apology to me for being a vindictive bitch and singling me out because I had the audacity to challenge you on something stupid. What was it again? Oh right, I said I was "skeptical" that you were aware of the NPC meme. LOL.
(lets see now... New desktop folder: Althouse, new txt doc: Althouse1, copy and paste and save. Ready to launch upon deletion. Your turn....)
WELL, IN ALL fairness, Ann does give a lot of slack to readers who allow themselves to get spun up in the direction that she likes or that amuses her the most. It's kind of like working with an ant farm when you're Althouse, but she likes to see the ants swarm.
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