May 18, 2019

"I don’t even walk my dog without putting my lipstick on."

The geriatric possessive appears in "Vanity Is Not a Deadly Sin. It’s One of Life’s Last Vital Signs/For these senior citizens, keeping up appearances is simply part of good health" (NYT).

The NYT is talking up older women who care about fashion and makeup and looking good, but the quoted woman had that geriatric tic that we were talking about the other day — here — of saying "my" where a younger adult would not use a possessive. It's idiomatic to say "I don’t even walk the dog without putting on lipstick." What made this woman (in her 80s) say "my dog" and "my lipstick"?

And now, I'm going back to continue reading the article, and the next thing the woman says is: "I’m going to my dermatologist right after this visit... What? You think I’m going to be sitting around waiting for my liver spots to come in?”

Not "I’m going to the dermatologist right after this visit... You think I’m going to be sitting around waiting for liver spots to come in?"

And at the very end of the article, she's quoted again saying, "But now that I’ve started to age, I march to my own drummer. I wear my sneakers, I wear my tights. I don’t want to look absurd, but I do want to try different identities."

My sneakers, my tights... my drummer.

37 comments:

Earnest Prole said...

"My nap" is linguistically interesting. "My dog" is linguistically banal.

n.n said...

It may reflect losing possession of lifelong attributes, and compensating with something tangible. The quintessential midlife crisis projected to late-life.

Yancey Ward said...

ARod was taking his shit.

NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...

I call it the give a shit index. If old people still give a shit, they keep on living. No one lives long after they no longer give a shit.

Big Mike said...

If she doesn't own the dog and own the lipstick, then who does? The Times is being stupid (not at all unusual) and it's a mistake for you to follow their lead, Althouse.

tcrosse said...

Would it be better if I put on your sneakers and marched to your drummer? ARod can take his shit; I alone can take mine and I refuse to tke anybody else's. So there.

Matt said...

Would be nice if more people had a modicum of dignity. The number of slobs - of all sizes, ages, races, genders - on the streets of America is truly astounding. We are a lazy, slovenly, degenerate society. The constant declarations of 'the greatest country in the world' is guffaw-inducing.

Rob said...

"my blog"?

tcrosse said...

Wait a minute. She puts lipstick on the dog?

William said...

I keep my weight down, bathe regularly, and trim my nasal hairs. More than that is foolish and a waste of the diminishing time you have left on earth.

Tina Trent said...

Probably my tax dollars paying for her damn unnecessary trips to the dermatologist. Medicare misuse is chronic in senior communities.

Johnathan Birks said...

I mean, she could've been talking about someone else's dog you know.

Leland said...

Speaking of keeping up appearances in old age; Arnold took a nice solid kick without much of a problem. The biggest thing hurt was South Africa's reputation.

Otto said...

Me , me,me. Keep quiet and go serve at your local soup kitchen..

LYNNDH said...

Oh Tina, just you wait until your geriatric.

The rest of the blog is nonsense. Me, mine, yours, it's, its, his, hers, zer, zem.

rcocean said...

There's a fine line between "not letting yourself go" and "giving into old age" and not acting your age. Everyone gets old. Everyone stops being attractive. Everyone dies. At some point you have to accept that no mater how much plastic surgery and makeup and diamonds - you are old. Period.

For some reason, "not acting your age" seems worse for woman. Probably because old men can't do much to look more attractive than wear a bad hairpiece or drive a sports car.
I suppose if some old guy wore his cap backwards or a hoodie with big shorts down to his knees, we could laugh at him.

Paul Ciotti said...

I don't understand why an elderly woman would want to wear lipstick to walk her dog. As Jordan Peterson has pointed out, the purpose of lipstick (and rouge) is to simulate sexual arousal. Why would an old woman want to signal that she is sexually aroused when walking a dog? For that matter, why would a woman of any age wear lipstick to work? She wants her partners in the conference room to think she is sexually aroused? For what purpose? She thinks the men in the room will take her remarks more seriously?

Bruce Hayden said...

“Would be nice if more people had a modicum of dignity. The number of slobs - of all sizes, ages, races, genders - on the streets of America is truly astounding. We are a lazy, slovenly, degenerate society. The constant declarations of 'the greatest country in the world' is guffaw-inducing.”

As a guy, I watch older men, and see many I do not want to emulate. You will never, ever, get me into a one piece outfit in public. Painting, yes. In the shop, maybe. But in public? Never. Suspenders to hold up our pants over our bellies? I hope never there too. Or shorts showing off compression bandages on our feet. Etc. my father picked up using a cane in his latter 80s. I can accept that.

When in PHX we live by a working class Walmart, and my mother would have had a meltdown if any of her kids ever went out in public dressed and looking like many of the customers I see there. But, then, she probably never wore pants grocery shopping until her 70s. I do worry about my partner who seems to have a hard time keeping up appearances in public as time goes on.

Mary Beth said...

tcrosse said...
I alone can take mine and I refuse to tke anybody else's.


Then the "t" doesn't stand for Tormund....

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

"Mein Kampf"

Ve Git Too Soon Oldt
Und Too Late Schmart

ken in tx said...

I remember being surprised when our training instructor said, "You will not dirty or damage my barracks." I expected "the barracks". His using the possessive made it more personal, and more emphatic.

DavidUW said...

More and more baby boomers are now claiming that old people are interesting/worth listening to, of course, as they age into their final stages of narcissism.

Old people’s opinions, language, mores, etc are only worth anything if you’re trying to sell them something like dentures and diapers.
Or if your listening to their judgments on other people. This is one area, possibly the the only area, where old people have an “edge”. It can be a big edge like with Trump (the reason he seems to “outsmart” idiot lifetime bureaucrats is he knows them from dealing with dim witted New York City hall types), but mostly it’s a small one (Biden, Hilary). Like the remainder of boomers time on earth. Otherwise they’re inferior to young people.

tim in vermont said...

I walk the dog, I don’t walk “my dog” I make the bed, sweep the floor, clean the fridge, take a shower, have a nap, etc, etc, etc. Women put on lipstick, but when it comes to the verb “to brush” it’s brush my teeth and brush my hair. When you say “my dog” since “my” is kind of implicit it’s redundant. Maybe that’s the real issue, maybe adults in the prime of life and the hurry scurry of making a living don’t have time for pointless redundancies. After all, who is going to take somebody else’s nap?

She wants her partners in the conference room to think she is sexually aroused?

Another famous psychiatrist once said “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

tim in vermont said...

Maybe elderly people miss saying a lot of words but don’t have as many ideas to put into them.

n.n said...

the purpose of lipstick (and rouge) is to simulate sexual arousal

It is for presentation, not limited to sexual arousal.

Fernandinande said...

where a younger adult would not use a possessive.

There's no reason to think that's true. Your reference is merely the opinion of some old guy, a la "old man yells at cloud".

Ralph L said...

My sneakers, my tights... my drummer.

My Limoges.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

the purpose of lipstick (and rouge) is to simulate sexual arousal

like this:
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=phil+hartman+german+transexual&view=detail&mid=7AAA042AD1B1546D54897AAA042AD1B1546D5489&FORM=VIRE

RigelDog said...

I didn't find that the initial article made the case that our individual linguistic usage changes in this way as we age--that we begin to use possessive articles more often. Maybe so. But maybe using possessives in that way is just a locution more common to those who were born in the 1940s or earlier. For instance, people in my parent's generation would often refer to someone in their family as "MY Freddie" or "OUR Marie."

Rockport Conservative said...

You've ruined me. I wrote on the first "my" post that I never used it. This is the third post on the use of my and last night I found myself saying my bath, where I never used it before. All is lost, I guess I really am old.

In truth, I've always been one who has embarrassed herself picking up the accent of the person I am speaking to, I never before noticed myself picking up word usage from a printed page. I may be old but at least I can still read.

Time to take my bath and toddle off to my bed.

Anthony said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Elder said...

Would you prefer that she walk someone else's dog or put on someone else's lipstick? Sheesh.

I asked my wife just a few minutes ago whether she was ready to go to the store. Her answer was, "Are you kidding? I haven't even put on my makeup yet. If I went to the store without putting on makeup I would be sure to run into everyone I know and probably Ryan Reynolds, too!"

Which proves three things: 1) She talks like an old person (she's 68); 2) she cares about how she presents herself to other people; and 3) she finally agrees with an article in the New York Times!

Reg said...

I have noticed a similar use of the possessive in weather forecasts - the forecast for “your Thursday.” I find this a bit unsettling. How did I come to own Thursday? What is the extent of my responsibility?

Tina Trent said...

When the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp was liberated, a crate of lipstick was among the humanitarian supplies shipped to the camp. Numerous observers reported that having access to cosmetics literally brought survivors back from the brink of death.

Ken B said...


Is this generational rather than age related? That is, did your exemplars use my when they were young?

Ken B said...

I would find it odd if any man expressed the desire to get "the" cocktail sucked.

Narr said...

My late mother (one year gone, soon) was in and out of rehab places and nursing homes three or four times in her last decade. As you would expect, there was a preponderance of elderly women in those haunts, but it amazed me to see how so many of them took obvious extra care with their appearance whenever the rare old man showed up. Even the old man who could barely sit up and drool.

Narr
Not talking Arnold-old men here