January 30, 2019

What's a Starbucks barista to do if a customer wants to talk about Howard Schultz?

It was only yesterday:
And today I'm seeing, "Here’s What Starbucks Is Telling Employees To Say About Howard Schultz/The coffee chain’s weekly memo discusses how to defuse the situation should someone share 'aggressive political opinions'" (HuffPo). Someone? Like Meade?
If a customer attempts to investigate, or share aggressive political opinions, attempt to diffuse the situation by sharing:

We respect everyone’s opinion. Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee.

87 comments:

Unknown said...

Diffuse? Or do they mean defuse?

Darrell said...

Give me the code for your free shitter, then

Darrell said...

Over great coffee?

Who's supplying it then?

Kevin said...

Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee.

Wait. Isn’t that right out of Schultz’s campaign literature?

YoungHegelian said...

Barista: "Can I take your order, Sir?"

Customer: "Your stupid fucking boss is going to give us four more years of that fascist Trump! What the fuck is his problem? It's beyond talk now! It's time for action! It's Us vs the Nazis! We gotta kill 'em! KILL THEM ALL!"

Barista: "We respect everyone’s opinion. Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee."

Yeah, that'll work!

Darrell said...

Howard Schultz has an emergency plan that involves naked baristas wearing mermaid tails. Don't let him tell you otherwise.

rcocean said...

Hello Barista, I really loved Sgt. Schultz in Hogan's Heroes, it reminds me of my love for the tenants of National Socialism and Adolph Hitler, which I'm sure Howard Schultz also shares.

Thanks RC. We respect everyone’s opinion. Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee.

John henry said...

Sounds like I need to go to a Starbucks next week in Nebraska and see if I can pick a fight.

John Henry

John henry said...

Unknown,

Not defuse either. They probably have circuit breakers.

Defuze as in remove the "fuze" that will set off the explosion.

John Henry

Kevin said...

“aggressively political opinions”

Starbucks is one of the few places in blue America where someone entering with a MAGA hat is greeted with a sigh of relief.

cacimbo said...

Remember when Star Bucks wanted baristas to start chats about customers about race.

gilbar said...

Barista: "Can I take your order, Sir?"
Meade at Starbucks: "I just want to say that I support your boss, Howard Schultz. Because I hate the Democrats, and I hate the Republicans, so go Howard."
Barista (leaning in, smiling, a little bit conspiratorially): "I agree."

sounds like they started trying to " create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee" yesterday. Unless you really think that employees love their owners

tcrosse said...

What does the barista say when somebody sticks a bullhorn in his face?

JaimeRoberto said...

Gee, I wonder who they are more worried about, someone in a MAGA hat or some raging Antifa nutter?

Wince said...

“Wharever you do: DONT SMIRK!!!”

walter said...

"over great coffee."
Or your own bottled water.

n.n said...

How about national socialism (e.g. redistributive change), less diversity (i.e. color judgment), less Pro-Choice (i.e. life deemed unworthy), less Jew... White privilege, less social justice adventures (e.g. abortion fields, waterboarding, refugee crises, retributive change) without borders, less political congruence, less Twilight faith... fringe.

rehajm said...

So nowthey want to shut up? What happened to agitating customers about race when the customer wanted a warm and welcoming space to buy his very own cup of coffee!

rehajm said...

When its -20 the emphasis is on warm.

Rob said...

Don't just tell the barista what you think. Bring a drum. Place it next to the barista's face and bang that sucker long and loud. The drum, not the barista.

Leland said...

That's what Twitter and Facebook claim as well, and then they ban those opinions they don't like.

traditionalguy said...

It never worked for Chik-fil-A. Being a good restaurant nice to customers is not acceptable to Progs.

Wilbur said...

When I read this: "We respect everyone’s opinion. Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee." - my brain immediately heard it in the voice of Mr. Van Driessen from Beavis et al., the boys' teacher.

narciso said...

so apparently 'happy happy joy joy feelings' (ht demolition man) only go one way.

The Godfather said...

Unlike most conservatives, I've enjoyed myself at Starbucks. I only drink decaff, so that may be part of it. What I really dislike is that they size their drinks according to some weird system, which I guess must be metric or something. Every real American knows that it's Small, Medium, Large, Extra Large, Jumbo, Economy, and so on.

No one at Starbucks has ever tried to engage me in a dialogue. I think they KNOW.

Do you ever get that feeling that THEY KNOW?

Rick.T. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rick.T. said...

Fun fact if you can believe the internet:

Schultz Name Meaning

German: status name for a village headman, from a contracted form of Middle High German schultheize. The term originally denoted a man responsible for collecting dues and paying them to the lord of the manor; it is a compound of sculd(a) ‘debt’, ‘due’ + a derivative of heiz(z)an ‘to command’.

Seems to tie in with his signature issue of the debt.

narciso said...

well when I was vegas years ago, that's when I ran into ralph nader in the throughway between the mandarin and luxor, I had a number of macchiatos which are their expressos, but they require seven sugars to be properly consumed,

mccullough said...

Starbucks knows that only The Left gets in their faces. People of the right have better manners. And they tip.

Birkel said...

Coffee and illicit narcotics in the bum room that used to be a bathroom.
Also, write a nice political message about racism on my cup, please.

Drugs, dirty bathrooms, lectures, and coffee.
That's a slogan, folks.

mccullough said...

Schultz is getting an excellent education.

He’ll be wearing a MAGA hat after a few more weeks of The Left.

chillblaine said...

I am going to Starbucks and ordering a latte with a dollop of Howard's Special Foam

Bob Boyd said...

Just change the subject...to race.

madAsHell said...

I betcha that Meade picked a lot fights when he was a kid.

madAsHell said...

Fun fact if you can believe the internet:

No!

Can Of Cheese for Hunter said...

How about - shut your lefty whiny pie hole and relax.

Known Unknown said...

"We respect everyone’s opinion. Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee."

You know deep down the PTB at Starbucks really want to Gilette the hell out of that conversation.

sinz52 said...

Barista: "We respect everyone’s opinion. Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee."

Me: "And your coffee sucks too!"

"Strong coffee" is not synonymous with "burnt coffee."

Mark said...

So, will Starbucks employees start demanding to see customer's passports and refuse to serve non-Americans? We wouldn't want Schultz to get any foreign emoluments.

BUMBLE BEE said...

Where do they intend to get this "great coffee"?

BUMBLE BEE said...

I see Darrell and I are both not fans.

FullMoon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maillard Reactionary said...

Darrell: "Howard Schultz has an emergency plan that involves naked baristas wearing mermaid tails."

Well, they could hardly move any slower than they do now.

BUMBLE BEE said...

From my experience at Starbucks, the foreign emollients are in the coffee.

Gk1 said...

Alinsky Rules for Radicals: Make the enemy live up to their own rules. Bring a bull horn and loudly hurange the baristas with your "demands". Complete your protest by leaving a giant "atlantic cable" on the bathroom floor without buying anything.

Bay Area Guy said...

Howard Schultz:

"I’ve been a Democrat, but I am no longer," Schultz said, adding, "I don’t affiliate myself with the Democratic Party, who’s so far left, who basically wants the government to take over health care, which we cannot afford, the government to give free college to everybody, and the government to give everyone a job. ... We can’t afford it."

I think I might start drinking more cappuccinos from Starbucks.

Bay Area Guy said...

Ok, now I affirmatively like Howard Schultz:

"Now, I’ve also been criticized for being a billionaire," he said, pointing to critics on the left who have said he's fighting liberal proposals to place higher taxes on the ultra-wealthy because he is ultra-wealthy. "Let’s talk about that. I’m self-made! I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn, New York! I thought that was the American Dream?"

Inga...Allie Oop said...

Sheesh, Meade really said that? If I was the barista, I’d think he was a little coo coo. Who says that to the barista?

LOL!

MadisonMan said...

If I'm behind these people talking politics and I'm waiting to order my coffee, black, and the barista is encouraging this talk, I'm going to be very impatient. I'm already pretty impatient with those ordering froufrou drinks like lattes.

Is it wrong to say "Stop talking politics while people are waiting to order"? I can always say "Look, I need coffee, okay?" if they shoot eye daggers at me.

Bob Boyd said...

If a customer attempts to investigate, or share aggressive political opinions, attempt to diffuse the situation by saying, "Just be glad it's not dat muddafuggin' Zuckabug."

rehajm said...

They’re getting Dunkin across the street

Bay Area Guy said...

Kamala Harris at Starbucks:

Barista: "Can I take your order, Miss?"

Harris: "Yes, I'd like a coffee. But I want it black, hot and hard."

Barista: "We respect everyone’s opinion. Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee."

I am not Laslo.

Henry said...

@Bob Boyd -- LOL.

Henry said...

I go to one Starbucks pretty regularly to work. I'll keep my ears open. So far ... no politics.

glenn said...

“Great Coffee” boy does that open a lot of doors.

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

I can certainly understand why the Democrats are upset about Schultz. He forces them to stake out Batshit Hill and Trump doesn’t have to move an inch.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

'Chock Full O Nuts' CEO Massimo Zanetti Runs as Democrat

pacwest said...

Much more info needed here. Apparently he is fiscally conservative and socially liberal. That part I like, but the two tend to overlap. For instance, what are his views on immigration? Does he want to save 130B a year, or welcome all comers no matter the cost? What is his middle ground if any? The list goes on.

And as much as we all want change, and I like Trump's stated goals, I'm pretty tired of political neophytes in the oval office. OJT works better for lower level positions.

rcocean said...

"For instance, what are his views on immigration? Does he want to save 130B a year, or welcome all comers no matter the cost? What is his middle ground if any?"

LOL! He's Mr. Open Borders, Mr.Diversity, and Mr. Cheap labor. Name me one Billionaire who isn't - except Trump.

When Trump came out for the travel ban, Sgt. Schultz wanted Starbucks to hire 5,000 Muslim immigrants.

rcocean said...

Sgt. Schultz and Bloomberg are Bill Kristol and Jonah Goldberg's favorite candidates.

rcocean said...

He grew up in the Jewish Brooklyn ghetto. A poor boy from Minsk, who only spoke Yiddish and knew how to make a Latte.

LOL!

Howard said...

Using the name Howard is cultural appropriation

Gk1 said...

Rc beat me to it. Schultz predictably knee jerks to the left on every social issue. I particularly thought he was being an asshole during the so called "Muslim Travel Ban". He sounded like a hysterical, old woman and I have written him off. That's great he understands the govt.can't ever generate enough revenue to pay for socialism, good for him but big deal.

Maillard Reactionary said...

Bay Area Guy: [grin] Very much on point there. So to speak.

Henry said...

Did Schultz actually speak out against the muslim travel ban?

Good for him. That's a point in his favor.

langford peel said...

They just have to hope that there aren’t a lot of douchebags like Meade who want to talk politics when buying burnt overpriced coffee.

The only problem is that you have to be a moronic douche to drink Starbucks coffee.

Gk1 said...

"Its constitutional bitches" https://thehill.com/regulation/court-battles/394143-supreme-court-upholds-trump-travel-ban

William said...

Despite all the terrific benefits, I think being a barista is probably a sucky kind of job. I don't believe in giving people with crappy jobs a hard time. Plus, I'm pretty sure the ones with man buns would probably spit in my coffee if they knew my political views.......Schultz seems likable and sane. In the one interview I saw with him , he didn't raise any hackles. I'd much rather have someone like him or Bloomberg rather than Warren or the other thirty Dem candidates. The thing about billionaires that you can take to the bank is that deep down inside they're not really hostile to capitalism. Of course, if you're picking in the basis of wealth, Mike Bloomberg is the billionaire's billionaire.

Sebastian said...

"We respect everyone’s opinion."

Except people who are of the opinion that they would rather not use restrooms taken over by drug users.

Meade said...

" I don't believe in giving people with crappy jobs a hard time."

Neither do I. Contrary to giving anyone a hard time, I was being what I thought was warm and friendly as I sat at the bar sipping my latte and reading my phone. Three college-age women came in and stood talking about politics in front of the barista as he prepared their orders. One woman mentioned something about Howard Schultz and his potential candidacy and then another asked the barista what he thought about it. He reacted as if it was news to him. When the women received their orders and left, the barista did a few things and then glided over and asked if I needed anything else. That's when I shared my "aggressive political opinion."

langford peel said...

Damn that is even more fucked up.

You are sitting in coffee shop checking out college girls. Listening in to their conversations. How fucking old are you slime ball?

Did you follow them back to the dorm?

wildswan said...

When you say "I want a small coffee" they know right away how you vote. But, these days, at least, they get the coffee without further discussion. A few years back they used to try to educate me. "So that's a grande?" "No, just coffee. I don't like all those sugar drinks." "So that's a grande?" "No, but how much is one of these frappa lattys? What's in them? How long does it take you to learn to make them? Are you new - because I might try one sometime but I'm in a hurry and these newbies - so slow. Never mind, just a small coffee." Anyhow, all that "so you want a grande" has stopped. I must have had helpers making coffee great again, one drink order at a time - scattered prog-stickers out there, alike in soul though I know not who they are nor where they may be.

pacwest said...

"LOL! He's Mr. Open Borders, Mr.Diversity, and Mr. Cheap labor. Name me one Billionaire who isn't - except Trump."

I've not paid any attention to him, and I'll research what you said, but if true that is a deal killer for me. If he was pandering, his position will need to align with reality before I'd even consider.

Meade said...

We then had a longer conversation. I learned about where he grew up, about his wife and kids, why he thinks Madison is such a great place to live and work, how he finds it great that most drivers around Madison understand how to drive in the snow properly unlike many drivers on the east coast. I won't give any more details about him because I wouldn't want anyone to be able to identify and dox him.

Bay Area Guy said...

Elizabeth Warren at Starbucks:

Barista: "Can I take your order, Miss?"

Warren: "Yes, I'd like an iced vanilla cream, please, with a 1/1204 dash of cinnamon.

Barista: "We respect everyone’s opinion. Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee."

Fen said...

"We respect everyone’s opinion. Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee."

I thought you were going to lead a discussion about systemic racism and tbe stain of slavery? I was wondering if African Americans should apologize for their African Slaver ancestors?

Most African Americans are descended from both sides - slaves and slave owners. For example, 200 years ago the Buta tribe would raid the Habi tribe, stealng tbeir food and taking captives to keep as slaves. Then tbey woukd force march their new slaves to the coastal villages and trade them for weapons and alcohol.

But the Buta and Habi are related, part of the same tribe roughly 50 years before that. They split apart because Wise Master Buta disrespected Wise Master Habi during the Dwarf Mongoose Hunting Incident of 1769.

So basically, your distsnt relatives put your other distant relatives in chains and sold them into slavery.

So I wanted to ask when you plan on apologizing for bringing the scourge of slavery to America?

Wait what? Where are you going? I thought you wanted to discuss racial issues while you brew up my grosdly overpriced prententious cuo of Joe?

Hello?

Meade said...

Bob Boyd said...
If a customer attempts to investigate, or share aggressive political opinions, attempt to diffuse the situation by saying, "Just be glad it's not dat muddafuggin' Zuckabug."

LOL. Next time, I'll use that.

Fen said...


" I don't believe in giving people with crappy jobs a hard time."

Making coffee is not a crappy job. Even bartending is not a crappy job. If I am paying someone else to pour my drink, I don't find it unreasonable tbat tbey don't screw it up.

Fen said...

"Sheesh, Meade really said that?"

Ons afternoon, Low-T Meade was waiting in line at the post ofcice behind 6 other people when a Soccer Mom barged inside and walked right up to the counter and asked the Postal Clerk how much postage her letter required.

Everyone else was visibly agitated, but none wanted to make a scene. Until the Soccer Mom turned to everyone in line, flashed a fake smile and said "Oh! I'm so sorry".

To which Low-T Meade responded: 'That's okay, you're SPECIAL and we're not!" Everyone in line burst out into laughter, tbe Soccer Mom fled in shame, tbe Postal Clerk beamed at Low-T Meade witb A Strange New Respect, and tbe hot little coed took him out for Mocha Latte Decafs at Starbucks.

...okay

That's not what he really said. He kept his mouth shut and stared down at his shoes like everyone else in line.

But it's what he fantasized he had done, as he was soaking under tbe shower next morning.

Kinda like this thread.


rcocean said...

Godfather,

I've always ordered at Starbucks using the large, medium, small labeling. No one has said a thing.

My impression is that when Starbucks was selling itself -20 years ago - as a "trendy" "Sophisticated" coffee place, its clientele loved to to use its Italiano (fake or not) sounding coffee sizes. It wasn't "Joe's Coffee shop" - it was a little bit of Milan Italy right there in Cleveland OH.

But no one seems to care anymore.

rcocean said...

If I am paying someone else to pour my drink, I don't find it unreasonable tbat tbey don't screw it up.

True. But OTOH, don't be that guy I always seem to meet at Starbucks. Y'know. The asshole who wants the double mocha latte, half decaf, half not, with smidgen of cocoa,and extra hot, but not over 210 degrees, with a dusting of cinnamon, and with lots of Love.

And of course, he always gets upset when someone gets his screwball not exactly right.

MaxedOutMama said...

My own suggestion would be to use cattle prods. While that may cause a community relations problem, I don't think the "warm and welcoming space" would work much better if someone is really sharing "aggressive political opinions". It seems more likely to make the person angry, because these days so much of politics seems to be about hatred.

I see that others have the same reaction. If someone comes into your coffee shop and is ranting about Republicans wanting to commit genocide with the wall, for example, telling that person that Starbucks is all about creating a warm and welcoming spot for such people is not going to calm the waters.

William said...

I used to like the fancy lattes but then they were made to post the calorie count next to the price. If the price doesn't throw you off, the calorie count most certainly will. I think posting the calorie count was one of Bloomberg's SJW innovations. One small step in the war against obesity. Well, it worked for me. I stopped going to Starbucks...... If you want a regular cup of coffee, Dunkin is the better choice. I must say that the workers at Dunkin look more like members of the downtrodden proletariat than the baristas at Starbucks......In the interview I saw with Schultz, he claimed that he gave his employees a decent salary and benefit package. If so good for him. Being a barista would still be a crappy job though. Most jobs that involve interacting with humanity are, but when you have to do so standing up that adds another dimension to the suckiness.

Lewis Wetzel said...

The last time I was at Starbucks in my town's downtown, I left because they had created a "warm and welcoming space" on the patio for a homeless guy & his pit bull on a chain.
Like I said, it was my last time.
Sit down for a cup o' joe, a pit bull leaps at you, is brought up short by the bicycle chain around its neck, and the owner punches it in the head a few times while yelling at it.
Real welcoming atmosphere you have there, Starbucks.

Fen said...

"True. But OTOH, don't be that guy I always seem to meet at Starbucks. Y'know. The asshole who wants the double mocha latte, half decaf, half not, with smidgen of cocoa,and extra hot, but not over 210 degrees, with a dusting of cinnamon, and with lots of Love."

LOL. No, I like my coffee straight up, no cream no sugar. No "fru-fru" contraptions at the bar either, just Stoli on the rocks.

I'm a simple man :)




Jeff H said...

Some hack at corporate: "We respect everyone’s opinion. Our goal is simply to create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee."

If, by "create a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over great coffee", they mean "make our restrooms available for shooting up heroin, dumping needles, and micro-brothels", then, yes. Yes, let's all rejoice that StarBlechs is "creat[ing] a warm and welcoming space where we can all gather, as a community, over [burnt] coffee."

Mark said...

Hey, you're hip, you're cool, but in this case we want you to sound EXACTLY like the corporate tool you are.