October 14, 2018

Who was holding the chainsaw?

"Tennessee father run over by lawn mower after trying to attack son with chainsaw."

A miswritten Daily New headline. The father was wielding the chainsaw, attempting (allegedly) to murder his son. The headline makes it sound as though the son had the chainsaw and the lawnmower was a free agent. In fact, the son had the lawnmower and used it in (alleged) self-defense.

Since the father is the one with the injuries, how do they know which one was the attacker?

What would you choose if forced to fight and could pick either the lawnmower or the chainsaw?

ADDED: Meade says the only reason that article was published was to say, look at these people, they're deplorables. In that view, I should not have blogged this.

80 comments:

gspencer said...

Sequence from Redneck Rampage.

Bill, Republic of Texas said...

The headline made sense to me on first reading.

I'd pick chainsaw. More maneuverable.

Fernandinande said...

"Trump’s America is a vicious and divided place. Today, a 60-something man walked into my 15-month old daughter, knocking to her to the ground with a bloody nose. 1/"

He forgot to say "Era of Trump"!

Michael The Magnificent said...

No, you're mis-reading it. The lawn mower tried to attack the son with the chainsaw, but ended up running over the father.

David Begley said...

If they bring a lawn mower to a fight, we bring a chain saw.

Mr. Majestyk said...

It was Mr. Ferguson, with the chainsaw, on the lawn.

whiskey said...

I suppose it depends on the kind of lawnmower. I'd take this one, I think. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chJhSQWI-VU

Birkel said...

So they followed Eric Holder's advice?

Wince said...

"I knew now what was about to take place in my parent's kitchen. The legendary, deadly...

Tool Belt Fight."

"You think I'm playin' around? I'm nuts man!"

Unknown said...

When they go mow, we nick them.

rhhardin said...

Dangling modifiers are like penises.

rhhardin said...

Vaginas are more like prepositions.

dbp said...

In spite of the phrasing, I thought the dad had the chainsaw and was unsure who wielded the lawn mower, but figured it was probably the son. Otherwise, they would have mentioned the good Samaritan with the lawnmower.

I would probably choose the chainsaw since I am still fairly agile. OTOH, I've seen three wheel riding mowers in office parks and those things are fast and maneuverable. If I was skilled at and could have that kind of mower, I would choose it over a chainsaw.

I'm Full of Soup said...

Sounds like this new meme Tennessee Father could give some much needed competition to Florida Man.

rhhardin said...

A scythe is no good in a fight.

Ann Althouse said...

"It was Mr. Ferguson, with the chainsaw, on the lawn."

Yeah, somebody needs to come out with Redneck Clue.

Danno said...

If you think these one-off freak show events cast a bad light on deplorables, just go to heyjackass.com to see the always-on shitshow of carnage in the city of Democrats.

Big Mike said...

Chainsaws scare crap out of me.

The Crack Emcee said...

I didn't blog it, but I posted on The Coal Train, so it's newsworthy, I think.

I mean, it was a chainsaw.

robother said...

Perhaps, like guns, lawnmowers and chainsaws wreak havoc without human agency. Subject/verb/object grammar is itself a tool of the oppressive capitalist/patriarchal system, as is the whole free will model of human legal responsibility. Ban guns, and all edged tools! For the children!

Paco Wové said...

Redneck Clue

Think of all the variants possible in this diverse land of ours.

Redneck Clue
Ghetto Clue
Barrio Clue
Amish Clue
...

MadisonMan said...

Chainsaw. Lighter than a lawnmower, and it's easier to move it around.

Which one was the angry Hillary voter?

traditionalguy said...

Sounds like they Were fighting over VIP tickets to the Trump Rally. Blood on the lawn!

MadisonMan said...

That is a hard headline to write.

"Tennessee father run over by lawn mower after trying to attack son with chainsaw."

No.

"Tennessee father attacking with chainsaw run over by son with lawn mower"

Better. But those longer words might not work with the space available on the page.

The Crack Emcee said...

I was listening to Historian Joanne Freeman talking about early America and, it seems to me, America's always been an extraordinarily violent place.

It's just who we are.

Big Mike said...

@Crack, damned right.

Mr. Majestyk said...

"I was listening to Historian Joanne Freeman talking about early America and, it seems to me, America's always been an extraordinarily violent place.

It's just who we are."

NO! NO! A THOUSAND TIME NO! I KEEL YOU FOR SAYING THAT!

buwaya said...

A self-willed lawn mower with a chainsaw is a nice touch for the right sort of zany movie. I'm surprised it hasn't been done.

Wince said...

Big Mike said...
Chainsaws scare crap out of me.

That's why I bought this electric-powered Lopper.

I named it Cindy... get it?

Fernandinande said...

CBS is doing all it can to give the impression that Republicans are attacking themselves and vandalizing their own offices:

"3 Arrested After Violence Erupts Outside NYC Republican Club Event"

Martin said...

Well, given that WaPo refused to cover the Gosnell trial because it was just a "local (Philadelphia) crime story," it does seem fair to ask why a NY daily carried this.

mockturtle said...

Frankly, I didn't find the headline to be all that ambiguous.

Temujin said...

Go Vols.

mockturtle said...

Crack asserts: I was listening to Historian Joanne Freeman talking about early America and, it seems to me, America's always been an extraordinarily violent place.

It's just who we are.


It's just who we human beings are. That violence can be subdued by culture, by political repression or by religious sentiment but it's always there, bubbling just under the surface.

Mr. Majestyk said...

"Paco Wové said...
Redneck Clue

Think of all the variants possible in this diverse land of ours.

Redneck Clue
Ghetto Clue
Barrio Clue
Amish Clue"

Or how about Antifa Clue: It was the sociology grad student, with the brass knuckles, in the ... well, just about anywhere.

Big Mike said...

It was Mr. Ferguson, with the chainsaw, on the lawn.

@Mr. Majestyk, you ain’t no Redneck. Redneck’s don’t have “lawns.” Us Rednecks have yards.

Fernandinande said...

Man loses leg after chainsaw attack on son backfires


Redneck’s don’t have “lawns.” Us Rednecks have yards.

You might be a redneck if you cut your lawn and find a pickup truck.

Leslie Graves said...

I think the story was published because chainsaw, lawnmower, father, son is irresistble to the reporter.

On twitter, I think liberals were promoting the story for the reason Meade gives.

But also, conservative twitterers were cheerily trading the link which I interpreted to mean: Hey Democrats. Deplorables are dangerous. Better watch out!

Mr. Majestyk said...

"@Mr. Majestyk, you ain’t no Redneck. Redneck’s don’t have 'lawns.' Us Rednecks have yards."

Your Honor, let the record reflect I never said I was a "Redneck."

Big Mike said...

mockturtle is right. You wouldn’t have regarded Europe as peaceful during the Thirty Years War. Or during the Crimean War. Or the Napoleanic Wars. Or during World Wars I and II. You wouldn’t have thought of Sub-Saharan Africa as peaceful ever.

Antarctica is peaceful.

Michael Fitzgerald said...

AR-15 with a chainsaw bayonet.

Big Mike said...

@Mr. Majestyk, Althouse has frequently written that she doesn’t want to be a judge.

Mr. Majestyk said...

"Big Mike said...
@Mr. Majestyk, Althouse has frequently written that she doesn’t want to be a judge."

Get off my back, Big Mike. Or, Allah willing, I KEEL YOU!

Gahrie said...

It's just who we human beings are.

Our cousins the Chimps are pretty violent too. They commit murder, cannibalism and war.

Gahrie said...

America's always been an extraordinarily violent place.

Yeah, because the rest of human history has been about peace and love, holding hands, and singing "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing."

The Crack Emcee said...

mockturtle said...

"That violence can be subdued by culture, by political repression or by religious sentiment but it's always there, bubbling just under the surface."

I've noticed that every documentary I watch about an act of political violence on a mass scale makes sure to remind us, the killers were normal people, just like you or I. It's a comfort, knowing how casual we're going to be about doing it.

The only question is: Who gets it next time?

Gahrie said...

Yeah, somebody needs to come out with Redneck Clue.

Feminist clue would be pretty boring...only two answers:

A) The woman, with a coat hanger, in a dark alley

or

B) Men, with the Patriarchy, everywhere.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

would have been funnier in Texas

Dave in Tucson said...

English is rife with ambiguities, like this:

* He saw the dog with a telescope.
* He saw the dog with a bone.

Two almost identical sentences, but you can (presumably) make sense of them because in the first case, a telescope is something you see with (and so "with a telescope" modifies the verb "saw"), while a bone is something a dog has (and so modifies the object "dog").

You've talked about diagramming sentences before, Althouse, I'm surprised this sentence caused you more than passing puzzlement.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

who held their beers?

buwaya said...

To be fair only part of Europe was consumed with genocidal violence during the Thirty Years War. Most of the rest, the most populous bits, were quite placid, relatively speaking.

But the goings-on in Germany were truly Hutu-Tutsi.
Ref "Simplicissimus", Grimmelshausen, Mitchell trans, Amazon Kindle $11.99

rcocean said...

Reminds me of headlines 15-20 years ago where "SUV's" were constantly killing and injuring people.

I can only say, that's I'd rather have a chainsaw then a lawnmower as a weapon.

rcocean said...

Usually these things happen in Florida. The New "Land of the nuts and flakes".

rcocean said...

"Son uses Lawnmower to defend against Father with Chainsaw"

Yeah, its hard to write a short, sexy, headline and not be ambiguous.

rcocean said...

The so-called violence in America has always been exaggerated. People think the "Wild West" was full of gunfights and outlaws and it really wasn't.

Most of violence in early America was caused by the lack of government. Its hard to have "Law and Order" when you had people on the frontier spread out over hundreds of thousands of square miles with no railroads.

Yancey Ward said...

Amish Clue:

John Book, in the silo, with the grain.

Yancey Ward said...

I remember this story, but it happened months ago.

tcrosse said...

Gender-Studies professor Magda Hotchkiss-Redondo in the faculty lounge with the Title IX manual.

Big Mike said...

It was Mr. Majestyk in the hunting lodge with a shotgun.

Ken B said...

Althouse Clue
It was Inga, in a fog, with a non sequitur.

mockturtle said...

Well done, Ken B!

tcrosse said...

Althouse Clue
Ritmo, in a snit, with an insult.

Bobb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MaxedOutMama said...

Sometimes, Ann, the husband is the better half.

Bobb said...

The Democrats are going to lose Tennessee "unexpectantly." Therefore, the narrative has to be established that the people of Tennessee are crazy and violent.

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

Class and ideological snottiness aside, that is some great, great Crackeranity. This sort of thing is always happening in the east end of the county in which I reside. It’s celebrated for it.
Deplorability is a lot like a semi-automatic rifle. If you clearly don’t understand the reality, why would I ever listen to your opinion on the matter?

Rabel said...

BRISTOL, Tenn. – "A Tennessee man lost one of his legs after his son, trying to fend off the 76-year-old’s chainsaw attack, drove over the older man with a lawn mower, according to the Sullivan County Sheriff’s Office.

The father, identified as Douglas Ferguson, of Bristol, now faces a charge of attempted second degree murder, according to the Bristol Herald Courier.

The incident happened June 28, but, because of the severity of the injury, authorities weren’t able to serve the arrest warrant until Tuesday."

Saint Croix said...

Redneck Clue

Sawed-off shotgun
Big stick
Big dog
Dynamite strapped to an arrow because you're on probation and the man won't let you own a gun anymore
Ax
Uzi

Trumpit said...

https://www.idahostatesman.com/outdoors/hunting/article219758365.html

You don't know what "deplorable" is until you read and see this. OUTLAW HUNTING NOW! Such evil must be exposed at every turn, and action taken against the deplorables starting with Trump and his evil sons. They deserve to be run over with a lawnmower, or hacked to death.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aggie said...

(chanting) "Two Men Enter - One Man Leaves"

Larvell said...

This would totally have been a gladiatorial thing if the Romans had lawn mowers and chainsaws.

Howard said...

Baboons destroy crops in Afrikaner. They pick corn, take a bite and throw it on the ground for the Wart Hogs to clean it up. You can shoot baboons for free if the farmer is desperate.

Trumpit said...

You're a sick man, Howard.

Karen of Texas said...

A Father, a Chainsaw, a Son, a Lawnmower

Who needs all that excess verbiage?

gadfly said...

Althouse's trouble with sticking Ks on her crumb-infested keyboard is exhibited herein when she typed:

Since the father is the one with the injuries, how do they now which one was the attacker?

Ann Althouse said...

@gadfly. True!

Bad Lieutenant said...

rhhardin said...
A scythe is no good in a fight.

10/14/18, 8:51 AM


Thousands of Polish peasants disagree-read Michener. You do have to reattach the blade at 90 degrees from normal.

pauld said...

I think the article was written to support advocates of chain saw control.

John Pickering said...

this is Ann yielding to her roommate's pc objections to coverage of the deplorables! It's not that funny when it's your own family, eh? Ha! Ann's contrite, now, though. She shouldn't have done it. Oh my gosh Ann.