July 22, 2018

A more accurate title would be "How to Spot a Minimally Competent Men's Haircut" but then I would not have watched this.



I like the way male anxieties about "high-end" haircuts are allayed by low-end junk on the floor in the salon's "barbershop" decor.

I put some effort into trying to find out what you have to pay to get a haircut from this expert, but I gave up. There's also a WSJ article accompanying the video. It's called "Your Haircut Is (Probably) Too Cheap/Certain CEOs won’t spend over $20 and contend that paying more is pointless. But, as barbershops evolve, spending a little extra can make a big difference. Inside the debate over the value of a man’s coiffure."

I like the locution "Your Haircut Is (Probably) Too Cheap." It stands in for "You Are (Probably) Too Cheap."

And I like the slap-in-the-face discordance of the last word: "coiffure." I looked it up in the OED: "A style or fashion of attiring the head and dressing the hair; head-dress, usually of women." Heh. Usually of women.
a1719 J. Addison Dialogues Medals in Wks. (1721) I. ii. 487 Methinks she is very particular in her Quoiffure.
1831 Cat's Tail 17 An old greasy night-cap, his morning coiffure.
1866 Mrs. H. Wood St. Martin's Eve II. xiv. 313 It's not once in six months that Madame Baret's coiffure is amiss.

74 comments:

Darrell said...

Never let a hipster cut your hair.
Or date your sister.

buwaya said...

I pay $15 every three months to a nice Chinese lady.
It takes about 10 minutes to run the clippers and trim the edges.

Original Mike said...

I think my haircuts cost $18. But then, I don’t have much hair.

Darrell said...

I've cut my own hair for the last 18 years.
Because I don't give a shit.

rehajm said...

The same lovely woman has cut may hair for 25 years. She started out working in the smallest barber shop in the world in the belly of an underground parking garage. I think the haircut was less than $20. I followed her to all her new gigs- 4 or 5 different salons. She now is one of the top colorists and charges me north of $100. Worth it.

rhhardin said...

I keep barber scissors by the computer and snip off any hair that feels too long.

The result is a socially acceptable always looking like needing a haircut but not too badly yet.

Fernandinande said...

Inside the debate over the value of a man’s coiffure.

What debate?

"My real hair color is kind of a dark blonde. Now I just have mood hair." -- Albert Einstein

"The true test of a man's style is the haircut." -- Kojak

Tommy Duncan said...

I went to the same barber for nearly 30 years. Kenny was still cutting hair full time at age 87 when cancer afflicted him. He was a wonderful human being and a great barber. For $13 plus a tip he provided a top shelf haircut. I miss Kenny.

Finding a new barber was traumatic. Getting a good haircut is important, particularly in an era when bad haircuts are in vogue. I found a different barber who is only 67, so I should be covered for another 20 years. He's a good guy and gives consistently good haircuts.

Darrell said...

As barbershops evolve?

They will only devolve--as is true for everything Socialism touches.

ndspinelli said...

My bride cuts my hair w/ clippers, #2, all the way around. Real men don't give a shit about their hair. It's just something that has to be dealt with periodically.

tcrosse said...

Different rules apply for gentlemen of color.

Fernandinande said...

ndspinelli said...
My bride cuts my hair w/ clippers, #2, all the way around. Real men don't give a shit about their hair. It's just something that has to be dealt with periodically.


I'm so masculine that I didn't even know that clippers had numbers, much less know what #2 might imply - is #2 for shrubbery?

Ralph L said...

Prince William now has all his remaining hair cut very short, but it's done with scissors so it's absurdly expensive.

I use #2 also, with a little #1 just around the ears and the few hairs in the very front at the top of my pointy head.

rhhardin said...

In a Day (2006) has a high-end haircut scene. Good romcom.

rhhardin said...

Your Wahl haircut kit comes with combs labelled 1 2 3 and 4. You can also go bare.

It's easier just to use scissors at random at odd times. You don't have to get up.

Ralph L said...

What's giving me trouble is trimming the beard and mustache I grew last fall after having pre-cancerous patches frozen on my face. It would be nice to get the hair closer to parallel, too.

I don't think beards have been this fashionable and plentiful since the 1880's, or maybe the Civil War.

Ralph L said...

Rh, mine goes up to #8, 1", which I've never used. I must have gotten the deluxe kit.

tim in vermont said...

It is fine to get a cheap haircut if you are either not interested in women or naturally good looking. Otherwise it is a great way to advertise your frugality.

Same with shoes. But I don't get the anxiety angle.

MikeD said...

A styling salon is NOT a barbershop, see the movie!

actual items said...

I am fortunate, I guess, to live in Orlando, a city teeming with Puerto Rican barbershops offering trendy haircuts at reasonable prices. I pay $22 for a haircut (scissor trim on top, fade on the sides down to a half) plus beard trim. I give my barber $30 even because he takes such care with the fade and the beard shaping. It takes an hour or so, and he’s a goddamn artist.

Henry said...

I've been on the fence about cutting my own hair for years. Here's the problem: Barbers keep moving or retiring. There is a 3 chair barber shop near my work. Over the course of 7 years I've gone there, probably 15 barbers have cycled through those 3 chairs. George, who has been there the duration, is good. Two have retired. Of the rest, one or two are adequate. One, Danny, was fantastic. He gave me the best haircut I've had in years. He lasted two months and then was gone. Now there is one barber who gives a good haircut and one not-so-good barber who gives an adequate haircut if I keep telling him what he missed and to go shorter in the front.

Here's Popular Mechanics guide to cutting your own hair. It's getting closer.

donald said...

I have awesome, incredible hair. I’m 58 and am now just showing a little gray and it’s all still there. I let that it go until I can’t stand it anymore, then get it all cut off. At the barber shop owned by the ex marine. Just cause. Basically I get it at the beginning of high school baseball season, once for state playoffs, then about October. I’ve never put anything in it, mebbe that’s the answer.

Henry said...

@Ralph L -- I have a home haircutting set of clippers. I just stick on a #2 attachment and trim my beard with that, then razor-shave the borders. Works great.

The question is when I'll just keep going past the ears and around the whole head.

rehajm said...

Real men don't give a shit about their hair

This is stupid. Those real men would turn into whiny pussies if their barber gave them pink mowhawk. Not caring is really not caring.

William said...

They say the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut is about two weeks.......In the the video, the barber says you need a new haircut every three weeks. Why would he lie about anything so important? It's probably best to have a haircut once a week, and a liberal tip ensures the best results. If I were a barber, that would be my advice to the world.

tim in vermont said...

I guess from the comments that it depends on your target demographic. All I know is that in my sixties I get a lot more female attention than I ever got in my twenties and I think it comes from a few simple rules, one of which is to pay what you have to for haircuts, and use product.

Paco Wové said...

I use #2 also, with a little #1

Being a long-haired hippie type, I go for the #3 (with some #2 on the back and sides).

Bill Peschel said...

My wife has cut our family's hair for 25 years. I have a simple style, so she does a good job on it.

Before my wedding, my wife sent me to a salon, where a toothsome girl did a nice job for about 30 bucks. But except for being fluffier, you couldn't tell the difference.

Leland said...

I go to Sports Clips. I pay the $25 for MVP, because I'm happy for them to wash clippings out of my hair before I leave. The whole cut, wash, and scalp massage (I skip the neck massage) takes about 20 mins. I give them $30 and leave.

I'm not a CEO, and I'd agree my haircut is cheap. If this has any merit; then my haircut is sufficient for my pay, plus my wife likes it.

I used to pay only $12 ($20 with tip), but I got tired of the hair stylist telling me what I needed to do, after hearing how messed up her personal life was. I'll pay more to skip the demands and drama.

William said...

I get a haircut about every three months. My look goes from respectable banker to unkempt hippie. However I look, women ignore me. I just don't think it matters that much. I trim my own beard, but some days I have better success than others. I like when the barber does it. I really look symmetrical with a professionally trimmed beard.

The Vault Dweller said...

I used to go to a barbershop run by an older Italian guy. But after that place shut down many years ago, I just started going to random chain hair cut places. Honestly the quality of the haircut stayed the same. I do miss the environment of the Barbershop somewhat though. It is nice to be in an area that is a little bit more masculine.

However the thing I miss the most is the hot lather shave. It really is a wonderful experience. The sound of the straight razor being rhythmically polished on the leather strop. The heat of the lather as it warms your face and neck is contrasted by the cool, clean, smoothness of the razor as it effortlessly glides over the contours of your face. This ritual alone makes it worth going to an actual barbershop. I've never met a man who has had a hot lather shave that didn't enjoy it a lot. In fact I remember my high school economics teacher advising all the young 17 year old boys in class to go without shaving for how ever long it took for them to build up a respectable amount of facial hair and then get the hot lather shave for the experience. It is one of the most worthwhile things I learned about in High School.

Bob Boyd said...

I have a friend, a high level executive, a Harvard guy, he uses a Flowbee to cut his own hair. He's been using it for years. His main reason is to save time. His hair looks fine.
One time, while staying at his house, I tried it, gave myself a haircut. It came out surprisingly good.

dreams said...

I cut my own hair because I know how to cut it best.

Bill, Republic of Texas said...

Only one other person here has their wife cut his hair. It a nice bonding time and your wife rubs herself all over you. That also leads to a nice bonding time.

Henry said...

@Tommy Duncan. Before my job change I went to Ed who gave a great haircut, told dirty jokes, and talked trash about customers he didn't like. Down the street was Joe, one of many octogenarian Italian barbers in the city. We took our boys to Joe. He was a good barber and a sweet guy. Then Joe died.

And now? We take the boys to a great barber shop run by a pair of Lebanese-American brothers.

I don't mind promoting them.

You can tell it's a good barber shop because they policemen and firemen go there.

tcrosse said...

Whatever Chuck Todd pays for his haircuts, it's too much.

tim in vermont said...

Maybe the anxiety comment comes from the idea that you can't judge for yourself whether you got a good haircut or not by how it looks.

Unknown said...

When in Sanfrancisco go to China Town and get a $5 cut. Can’t be beat.

Wince said...

Okay, and now for my scrotum?

JaimeRoberto said...

My wife cuts my hair, so depending on how you look at it, it's either free or extremely expensive.

LordSomber said...

I cut my own hair but once in a while i'll splurge.
#2 on top and #1 on the sides = $12, plus neck shave with straight razor for an extra $2.

Any man who spends more than 30 seconds on his hair in the morning is just committing foppery.

reader said...

I hadn’t thought about the Silky Pony in a long time. This brought it back.

Ralph L said...

Don't forget about the $400 haircut on the LAX tarmac.

JPS said...

I cut my own hair once. The first person who saw me afterward inquired, "You lose a bet?"

Gahrie said...

I've been getting my haircuts from the same place for over thirty years. Haircut costs $15 and I leave a twenty on the counter on my way out the door.

tim in vermont said...

Any man who spends more than 30 seconds on his hair in the morning is just committing foppery.

Hence the need for a good haircut. I don’t even own a comb or a brush, since God gave me ten fingers, but I do use a little product. But one thing is for sure, manlier than thou will never go away as a sport. I don’t care, as Popeye used to say, “I yam what I yam.”

But I think a lot of these cues, like haircuts, clothes, and shoes are subtle proxies for wealth or lack thereof.

traditionalguy said...

Military cut is too much but keeping the sides tapered and trim makes me look 10 years younger once every 3 weeks. Whatever the price, add 30% tips and you get an appointment squeezed in whenever you call. And the good ones are very busy.

Tommy Duncan said...

"Any man who spends more than 30 seconds on his hair in the morning is just committing foppery."

That is true for some fortunate people. For others it is only true if you get a "buzz" or a "high and tight" haircut and can shampoo with bar soap.

Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...

Have an electric beard trimmer. Every 10 days to two weeks facial hair gets cut with 1/16 inch shim, neck front and back with no shim. Every other interval whatever hair is still sprouting on top get whacked with the 1/16 shim, and eyebrows with 1/4.

There is a threshold folicular density for participation in the great haircut debate.

Fred Drinkwater said...

My wife was raised by survivors of the Cultural Revolution. She and her siblings were all trained in some basic skill as an economic fallback. My wife is a skilled barber / stylist, so I get cut for free. Between times I trim myself. I use a little product if I'm going to be in front of an audience, but otherwise nothing.

chuck said...

As in most things in life, some barbers are simply better than others, sometimes much better. I've never had a "high" end haircut, but I've run into two barbers who I would pick if it mattered. However, these days I don't have much hair and sometimes I just want to get on my way, frankly I'm tempted to just shave it all off. No one has ever accuse me of being stylish.

Mr Wibble said...

I've gone to military barbers, and then usually the chain haircut places. Since moving out here to Ohio I've decided to simple buzz my hair off because it was thinning significantly in front. I'll give it a month or two, and then maybe start shaving my head.

buwaya said...

The best cue for wealth is no material cue for wealth.

Francisco D said...

This is a serious subject. I need to find a new barber/stylist in Arizona after letting my thinning hair grow out for 12 weeks.

If they do it wrong, my head (size large-extra large) looks like a peanut in the shell. (I have heard all the jokes, thank you).

I had two different women cutting my hair for the last 30 years. Change is difficult. It is easy for those of you blessed with good hair.

Jupiter said...

I used to have beautiful blond hair halfway to my ass. Of course, I never cut it, but I brushed it a lot.

That was a long time ago. I spent Summer 2001 in Phoenix, it was so God-damned hot you wanted to take your skin off. I got a cut just short of a shave, and realized that I look like my father. I kind of like looking like my father. I got a $20 pair of dog clippers and I keep it short now.

Jupiter said...

And what is "product"? Like, gross? Domestic?

tcrosse said...

The hipster barber is wearing a hat. What is he hiding ?

Howard said...

The haircut shown is almost a standard USMC long and tight. The hipster baldy barber got the neck trim wrong because the hair is cut along a straight line at the bottom while it should be tapered.

My wife has cut my hair about 95% of the time since 1981 at a medium and tight. The last decent barber I went to was Shorty in the basement of the UCSB Ucen back in 1983.

20th Century military haircut and facial hair regulations are designed to allow a gas-mask seal.

tim in vermont said...

The best cue for wealth is no material cue for wealth

Not being surrounded by a lot of extraneous shit and flashy cars, sure. But I doubt that if you see a guy dressed like the guy behind the counter at the auto parts store, WalMart glasses, Payless shoes, Supercuts haircut, that you are going to say “There is a wealthy guy!”

tim in vermont said...

But I should have said affluence.

Fernandinande said...

"Brewers' Josh Hader Receives Standing Ovation in First Return to the Mound"


Because quoiffure.

Howard said...

The Hitler mustache is also a holdover from gas mask regulations.

Etienne said...

Just so you know, good barbers gives you a choice: tapered or blocked on the back.

Blocked is good for winter, tapered for summer.

Etienne said...
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tim in vermont said...
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The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

My wife started cutting my hair back when we were dating and has ever since.

I’m also baffled by the whole “product” thing for dudes. Why would you put shit in your hair? I see the old photos and movies of pomaded heads and am repelled by how unhygienic and nasty it must have been. Head-sized grease stains on furniture and pillow cases. Rivulets of greasy sweat. That shit getting all over everything. As with indoor smoking, nothing was probably thought of it at the time, but if you could go back and see and smell it with a modern perspective, you’d find it disgusting.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

my German barber makes it simple-- you get 3 choices:
"Larry", "Curly" or "Merkel"

Jim at said...

Been cutting my own hair since 2002. Put the #2 on the Wahl, and that's it. My wife trims the neckline. Money saved is spent on beer and ribs. But mostly beer.

tcrosse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tcrosse said...

Turn your head and coif.

Char Char Binks, Esq. said...

I pay a lot more than $15 every three months to a nice Chinese lady!

But seriously, she doesn't cut my hair. I'm the only person I trust to do that, given it's unique texture.

tim in vermont said...

Why would you put shit in your hair? I see the old photos and movies of pomaded heads and am repelled by how unhygienic and nasty it must have been. Head-sized grease stains on furniture and pillow cases. Rivulets of greasy sweat. That shit getting all over everything.

Yeah, OK. How old are you, anyways?

Be said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Be said...

I have naturally curly, fine hair. In my part of the US, I can either spend $30 to get a bad cut, or $100+ for a bad cut with attitude. As such, I chose to buy a pair of hair scissors, to own my own not much worse than anywhere around here commercial haircut.