Althouse: "You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne... and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al."

January 29, 2015

"You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne... and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al."

"It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it."

38 comments:

rehajm said...: If you're in LA, you have to do it

Is there any regulation that won't pass in California?; 1/29/15, 11:15 AM
traditionalguy said...: Perhaps this steam thing is what the Patriots used to inflate footballs with hot humid air before the officials tested them prior to games.; 1/29/15, 11:17 AM
Curious George said...: "The female reproductive tract does not need to be cleaned at all. In fact, methods of feminine cleansing like douching can do more harm than good."

Even douche canoes know that.; 1/29/15, 11:17 AM
Sigivald said...: "Cleanse" and "release" and "balances"?

All signs of 100% pure hippie BS that does nothing.; 1/29/15, 11:19 AM
Bob Boyd said...: Didn't the early native Americans used to do something like this in a special canoe?; 1/29/15, 11:22 AM
Robert Cook said...: Perhaps Ms. Paltrow is a sly, distaff James Franco, performing a long-term, ongoing performance art piece, and not at all the dizzy, dippy hippie chick--or the dupe of charlatans--her recommendations would indicate.; 1/29/15, 11:22 AM
jr565 said...: Will it get rid of the fish smells? Then I'm all for it.; 1/29/15, 11:30 AM
Clyde said...: That elevator doesn't go all the way to the top, does it?; 1/29/15, 11:39 AM
rhhardin said...: Camille Pagila somewhere in Sexual Personae said what the fish smell was from but I couldn't find it the last time I looked.

There's a chemical name involved.; 1/29/15, 11:46 AM
Anonymous said...: Steamed bearded clam?; 1/29/15, 11:46 AM
dhagood said...: is mugwort the essence of an ugly muggle?; 1/29/15, 11:46 AM
Beta Rube said...: Peter? Is this good hair care technique?; 1/29/15, 11:49 AM
buwaya said...: In Los Angeles the making of things is nearly regulated away, but thankfully will be replaced by personal service industries of this sort.
There will be a steamery in every strip mall, or perhaps the business works better centralized, and there will be large steam plants favored by crowds of clients.; 1/29/15, 11:53 AM
rhhardin said...: Google is your fish.

"Botticelli's Venus coasts to shore on the half-shell. Sexual love is a deep-sea diving into the timeless and elemental. G. Wilson Knight says, "Life rose from the sea. Our bodies are three parts water and our minds compacted of salty lusts." Woman's body reeks of the sea. Ferenczi says, "The genital secretion of the female among the higher mammals and in man ... possesses a distinctly fishy odor (odor of herring brine), according to the description of all physiologists; the odor of the vagina comes from the same substance (trimethylamine) as the decomposition of fish gives rise to." Raw clams, I am convinced, have a latently cunnilingual character that many find repugnant. Eating a clam, fresh-killed, barely dead, is a barbarous, amorous plunging into mother nature's cold salt sea."

Sexual Personae p.92

The thing to remember is that this was published by Yale U Press at the height of feminist PC, a paean to sexual difference.; 1/29/15, 12:06 PM
walter said...: "cleansing like douching can do more harm than good."
Even douche canoes know that.
<
They have some good songs..tended to clam up in interviews.

Not just for LA...

http://www.fastcompany.com/3041307/body-week/i-went-to-a-spa-for-my-uterus-and-this-is-my-story

Where to get it:

New York City: Juvenex Spa. $75.
Chicago: King Spa.$30.
Atlanta: Yoni Steam Spa.$120 (includes a Clay Detox Womb Wrap and Womb Reiki).
Los Angeles: Tikkun Holistic Spa.$50.
You can also purchase a do-it-yourself kit for $150 on EarthDancerWellness.com. (Of course that is the website where you can purchase a vaginal steaming kit. Of course.); 1/29/15, 12:11 PM
Quayle said...: To a secular Hollywood leftist, we all evolved to our present unique and nearly-unfathomable advanced biological state, overcoming innumerable competing biological threats big and microscopic, through volcanic and ice-age periods of climate, prevailing through countless challenges to the survival of our species...

... but nevertheless, we all still need balancing and cleansing, and realignment and natural rejuvenation, which can only best be obtained for a very reasonable 4 figure price at a clinic in Beverly Hills.

And they claim WE'RE ignoring science.; 1/29/15, 12:12 PM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: Sounds goopy.

I'd make some "energetic release" jokes but I don't want to be though of as sexist, you know.; 1/29/15, 12:15 PM
David said...: Actually, you should do this in the mountains, where the temperature of steam is (slightly) less than 212 degrees.; 1/29/15, 12:15 PM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: I have a faint memory of news stories about people who acquired nasty brain parasites from cleansing their nasal passages with impure water. Just thought I'd toss that up there, ah, out there.; 1/29/15, 12:17 PM
buwaya said...: This will eventually be part of mandatory coverage in qualified medical insurance plans.; 1/29/15, 12:20 PM
Saint Croix said...: How much of the pro-choice movement is really just a severe case of OCD?; 1/29/15, 12:20 PM
Smilin' Jack said...: I'm sure I could release Gwyneth's energies without resorting to mugwart steam.; 1/29/15, 12:32 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: LA has the greatest concentration of fortune telling businesses I've ever seen. I think this is related.; 1/29/15, 12:53 PM
Sal said...: Let me add that mugwort steam is gluten-free.; 1/29/15, 12:53 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: Vaccine free too. No word on whether or not the mugwort is GMO.; 1/29/15, 1:02 PM
walter said...: On taking a retreat to Sedona, Arizona: “I’ll never forget it. I was starting to hike up the red rocks, and honestly, it was as if I heard the rock say: ‘You have the answers. You are your teacher.’ I thought I was having an auditory hallucination.”; 1/29/15, 1:03 PM
Jaq said...: Should have included a Rhythm&Balls tag if you are going to talk about uteri.; 1/29/15, 1:07 PM
Sam L. said...: Quintessential L.A.!; 1/29/15, 1:36 PM
Larry J said...: It seems that quite a few women think that everything revolves around their vagina. It seems they're objectifying themselves. Strange.; 1/29/15, 1:47 PM
Wince said...: Steam your clams!

Steamers: a New England coastal favorite.

Be sure to dip them in drawn butter before eating.; 1/29/15, 1:54 PM
walter said...: Well..she did get that "most beautiful" label...which I never understood...how far did "they" look?; 1/29/15, 1:58 PM
PuertoRicoSpaceport.com said...: Will it also steam out wrinkly labia? The Jezebel picture showed a steam iron and that was my first thought.

Special offer for the ladies: I will give you a personal upclose steaming for free. No appliances involved, 100% natural using only my hot moist breath.

Extra bonus is a gentle massage.

John Henry; 1/29/15, 2:54 PM
PuertoRicoSpaceport.com said...: Why is douchenozzle an insult?

I've always thought that if reincarnation is actually a thing, I'd like to come back as a douchenozzle. They serve a useful purpose and get to go somewhere good on a regular basis.

John Henry; 1/29/15, 2:55 PM
Unknown said...: People who speak so carelessly are annoying. Steam and live tissue don't go together well. I don't know if this is careless or just ignorant.; 1/29/15, 2:56 PM
CatherineM said...: I have heard it all.

LA is a weird place. I remember the Today show showing some video of Nicole Brown Simpson after her murder at a strange excercise class. The reporter had to explain that the class may seem weird (the class was walking around flailing), but this takes place in LA and is normal for LA.; 1/29/15, 4:02 PM
SGT Ted said...: Steam your clams!

EDH wins the thread!; 1/29/15, 4:43 PM
John henry said...: EDH: Is a New England steamer anything like a Cleveland steamer?

John Henry; 1/29/15, 5:23 PM
kentuckyliz said...: Not in LA?

Rent a Rug Doctor.; 1/30/15, 10:05 AM