Althouse: "I wanted a fresh start, looser pants, a boyfriend. I also knew that getting too ambitious would be the end of any progress I might make..."

January 1, 2015

"I wanted a fresh start, looser pants, a boyfriend. I also knew that getting too ambitious would be the end of any progress I might make..."

"... and a juice fast or some 'journaling' was not going to cut it.... I vowed that every day, for 365 days, I would enforce a strict routine of belly laughter and orgasms...."

Enforce, eh?

Yesterday, I wrote about the "self-marriage" trend. Now, it seems, we're confronted with the possibility of self-rape.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...: Who needs to work on a relationship and keep an man when you can buy new batteries and a "Jimmyjane Form 6"; 1/1/15, 7:50 AM
CStanley said...: LOL. Shocking that her relationship didn't last. If you can't base a relationship on an obsessive desire for self pleasure, what hope is there?

I laughed at your "self rape" comment too, but really I think rape is like tickling....impossible to do to oneself.; 1/1/15, 7:50 AM
Laslo Spatula said...: A lot of miles on that Orgasm Odometer. She might need to change her oil.

I am Laslo.; 1/1/15, 8:01 AM
sean said...: Masturbating every day? (Sometimes twice a day?) What a pathetic life.; 1/1/15, 8:27 AM
Patrick said...: I'd guess that many people who are unhappy are not happy because they mistake pleasure for happiness.; 1/1/15, 8:30 AM
Oso Negro said...: If she had enforced on herself the discipline of giving her boyfriend a blow job every day she might not be alone now.; 1/1/15, 9:03 AM
holdfast said...: "Masturbating every day? (Sometimes twice a day?) What a pathetic life."

Or just being a male between the ages of 16 and 35.; 1/1/15, 9:18 AM
NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...: "I meant to do that!" - Pee Wee Herman; 1/1/15, 10:34 AM
Scott said...: Can a woman get an orgasm from a belly laugh?; 1/1/15, 11:20 AM
mccullough said...: I thought the belly laugh and orgasm should be simultaneous.; 1/1/15, 11:27 AM
Freeman Hunt said...: Favorite resolutions of teenage boys who wish to ensure they meet their own expectations.; 1/1/15, 12:10 PM
bleh said...: Who has to try to laugh every day? How sad.; 1/1/15, 12:35 PM
Bob Boyd said...: This woman is a role model.
I wish more nuts would be content to stay home and play with themselves.; 1/1/15, 1:18 PM
richard mcenroe said...: Self-rape?

Oh, no! I've been drinking! I must get away from me, filthy beast!; 1/1/15, 2:12 PM
richard mcenroe said...: Bob Boyd said... "This woman is a role model. I wish more nuts would be content to stay home and play with themselves."

??? Isn't that what mass transit is for?; 1/1/15, 2:14 PM
Known Unknown said...: I looked up the Jimmyjane form 6. $112.50!; 1/1/15, 3:22 PM
Bob Boyd said...: @EMD

"The gold-plated Yva...The most expensive vibrator in the world has a suggested retail price of $1500, but can be had for as little as $999. It comes with a charger and a finely-crafted wooden box with a satin carrying pouch and 1-year warranty."

http://most-expensive.com/vibrator; 1/1/15, 3:50 PM
walter said...: It's only rape if she's been drinking and regrets it later. I don't think Jimmyjane is capable of consent.; 1/1/15, 7:57 PM
Unknown said...: What...no cats?; 1/1/15, 8:07 PM
Bob Loblaw said...: I looked up the Jimmyjane form 6. $112.50!

Holy smokes! No wonder I run into so many women with that perpetual pinched face.; 1/3/15, 2:06 AM