September 24, 2014

Get bent.

Some days the blog has a theme... almost always just by chance. It's delightful to perceive it, so let me share my perception right now. There are 3 posts, and bending is most obvious in the most recent one about how the new iPhone 6 Plus can get bent.

The bending theme also appears in the next post, about the Capital Times's devising a "complex" approach to statistics that shows Mary Burke beating Scott Walker. (When did you stop beating your governor?) In the comments, MadisonMan says — boldface added — "If you're trying to find a particular fact, you can bend statistics in any way you want to find that fact eventually."

Okay, that's 2 out 3, so now it becomes a game to see how the other post of the day can be said to fit the theme. The other post is the one parsing the NYT editorial on Obama's shock-and-awe warmaking in the Middle East. Now, here's where my mind went. And maybe this is because we were joking about male genitalia in the iPhone 6 comments, where EDH said:
Other devices have been released recently that were specifically designed to have a curved frame, including the LG G Flex (pictured). The phone is said to be more comfortable to hold, and easier to place in a back pocket

God faced the same dilemma when designing the penis.
That war post ends quoting Bill Clinton — "... Osama bin Laden... I nearly got him once... I nearly got him. And I could have killed him...."

You see where I'm going?

13 comments:

Achilles said...

So the bent or otherwise misshapen manhood is usually a knock on masculinity. If we are going to try to make fun of Obama's masculinity he would have to have some first. He can't even throw a baseball 50 feet. I don't think he broke 30 bowling. You could try to analogize repeated gutter balls. On the other hand he probably has fixed his slice but I bet it has become a pretty good fade. Fades are bends. He is good at fading in other areas. Like honesty.

traditionalguy said...

Bend me, shape me, anyway you want me, long as you love me it's all right.

Does the 6 come with that song as a pre-installed ringtone?

rehajm said...

Bite me. Kram it. You're dead. Get bent, Ma'am

Unknown said...

Jays all the way down

Beldar said...

Three reactions:

(1) You know "bent" is also, historically, urban slang for homosexual? In the summer of 1980, I saw Michael York perform on Broadway in a pretty-good production of a play titled "Bent," about Nazi persecution of gays.

(2) Tailors understand the phenomenon to which you allude, Prof. Althouse, more thoroughly and, shall we say, more intimately than any other professionals, save perhaps urologists. "How do you dress?" is the question they ask a new client. The answer they expect is either "to my left" or "to my right."

(3) I enjoy a good dick joke as much as anyone, I suppose. There are so many of them; fondness for them seems to cut across all conceivable categories (sex, sexual preference, nationality, age, social status). Nevertheless, a few years ago I had the professional duty myself, as an attorney, of representing one of the litigants in a medical malpractice case that turned (so to speak) on issues of Peyronie's disease, which is in fact quite disfiguring, disabling, and often painful.

The case was tried to a jury verdict in a rural Texas county. At its conclusion, I was again left in quiet and awed appreciation for the jury system. I have no doubt that at least some of the jurors — like the lawyers and the judge and all their respective staffs, and like, indeed, the patient's family and he himself — sometimes made dick jokes when discussing the case or the patient's situation. Many of them were dumb, embarrassed or embarrassing; for every one spoken I'm sure 20 were mentally suppressed. But the amazing and awe-inspiring part was this: inside the courtroom, I never saw a single snicker, a single arched eyebrow, a single even arguably inappropriate smile. Every human being in the courtroom was on best and most grown-up behavior when it came to the subject of the male penis — indeed, that was the focus of the overwhelming majority of the testimony and evidence.

Moral: In this context as in so many others, the Rule of Law as well-practiced in America is capable of overcoming what I suspect is an instinctual predilection by most people to find dicks funny.

Meade said...

Hey, bending is good. It's breaking you want to avoid.

Meade said...

Besides, there is someone for everyone.

I know, I know — that's a cliché. I didn't invent it. I should've put quotes around it. Please don't arrest me for the crime of plagiarism.

EDH said...

Speaking of bending and complex statistical models...

... two postmen times three animal control officers divided by two gas meter readers makes how many bendable integrated community workers?

Decode your answer...now.

(ba da ba ding ba da ba ding... Baaaaaa)

Did you remember to carry the bum?

Good! The answer...

Annie said...

How do they know Clinton is bent? Did he tell everyone?

EDH said...

Paula Jones described the "distinguishing characteristic" if I'm not mistaken.

H said...

EDH is right: Paula Jones described it as proof of her accusations. (And it would be pretty convincing proof if it held up.) I suppose in a court case, Clinton could have been compelled to submit to a physical examination. But "President Clinton reached an out-of-court settlement with Paula Jones yesterday, agreeing to pay her $850,000 to drop the sexual harassment lawsuit." (WaPost)

Remind me again: Why does this not reflect badly on Hillary?

tim in vermont said...

I am sorry, but what does this post have to do with white supremacy and reparations? I am just not seeing it.

ken in sc said...

Texas is the most American state, and will be the last American state when the rest of America is no longer American.