May 13, 2013

There's no "upper limit on penis size" but "'the most attractive penis size' appeared to fall outside the range used in the study..."

"... which was designed to capture 95% of the variability women would encounter. So although attractiveness beyond the 3 in. continued to increase in a linear fashion, it did so at a slower rate."

3 inches refers to incremental enlargements over a baseline that is never stated, so it's a tad hard to understand what this projected ideal actually is. The women in the study looked at "life-size video clips of computer-generated images of naked men who varied in height, body shape and flaccid penis size, but not in other qualities like facial attractiveness and hair."

Personally, I find computer-generated images very creepy, and I'd hate to be asked to take looking at naked CGI men with larger and larger penises seriously as a "science" experiment. Stuck down at the bottom of the article — which appears in Time magazine — is this: "height was as important as endowment in a male’s attractiveness, while wider shoulders and narrow hips was more important than both combined." In other words, after much obtuse blah blah blah about the importance of penis size and height, we're told that in fact wide shoulders and narrow hips are more important.

What a poorly written article!

95 comments:

Leland said...

Did you visit a Doctor today, or was there some other reason you read a Time magazine article?

Geoff Matthews said...

So, the validity is in question, but the reliability is certain?

Rusty said...

To a midget lady I'm hung like a horse.

Darrell said...

The "bulge" in question is always the one is the back--the wallet--pocket.

MadisonMan said...

The sample size of 105 for the women -- all from Australia -- seems small to me.

I'd like it to be bigger.

Carol said...

LOL...same old lies.

"It's just right, honey..."

Geoff Matthews said...

Does this address the growers vs showers debate?

edutcher said...

The only thing intended to grow was circulation.

KCFleming said...

If YOU would like to...
- Become more sexually attractive.
- Meet more beautiful women.
- Grab attention and get approached by women far more often.
- Increase your self-confidence and masculinity BIG-time

...then this may be the most important news you read all year.

Millions of men are already benefiting from using phonemes to develop those wide shoulders and narrow hips that attract women!

Don't let the other guy get the girl; arm yourself with Ultra Allure phonemes to get those wide shoulders and narrow hips tonight.

Don't be left behind!

SteveR said...

Titus? Titus?

Did I say inches? I meant centimeters.

KCFleming said...

Insert Milton Berle reference here.

kcom said...

Well, there might be an upper limit. If it ever stops growing, I'll let you know.

Carl said...

2.2% of the words in Althouse's post are "penis" or derivatives. According to Google Ngrams, that is 37 times the average in early 21st century publications.

Anonymous said...

So the women did not define what optimum was, but it was larger than the range they were shown...

Who says bigger isn't better :)

Leland said...

Did they ask if women were attracted by the size of a man's hand? Because I would think a man's height, shoulder or waist width with come into play long before penis length. Either that, or I've spent a lot of time with prudish women. Most women I met wouldn't let you disrobe in front of them, so they could be amazed at the length of my penis. They tended to judge me by factors they could see with my clothes on.

In other news, men judge women based on their personality and could careless what their vagina looks like.

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

Is this another Mad Men article?

Carl said...

Also, two of Althouse's last five posts have been about weiners, and three of five (including this one) have been about issues of size.

DADvocate said...

The "bulge" in question is always the one is the back--the wallet--pocket.

There was a rather average looking guy who was a member of the health club I used to work at. His wife was HOT and would wear tight leotards with a thong. He would joke that whenever someone saw his wife they knew he was either rich or had a big penis. We knew he was rich.

edutcher said...

Dare I presume the Enzyte guy was the model?

Anonymous said...

Just what I want to read as a captive in the dentist's office: A study on what women might have been thinking while looking at CGI schlongs.

I can get much better bullshit pop science on my iPhone thanks.

Cody Jarrett said...

Makes you wonder though. The story is a month old*--and whores posted earlier that Althouse was posting about sex to distract us all.


*I'm sure she just came across it and found it interesting--the timing is comical is all.


And...blah blah...decline...blah blah.

Darrell said...

I remember going to an upscale mall in West Palm Beach in the
1980s, seeing these 5"6" and shorter partially balding guys in crappy suits with
6' younger model types, looking at the jewelry store windows with $30K items displayed in the windows.They always went in. Not one or two couples--dozens. I remember thinking that these gorgeous young women were not superficial--prone to "lookism" or anything.

Rabel said...

A better article with a great photo.

Methadras said...

Paging Titus. Titus to the courtesy phone. You have a call waiting.

Widmerpool said...

My contnribution:


Orson Bean

ndspinelli said...

If Titus appears he will tell men they need to shave their pubes for a better presentation. Let's face it, women are ham n' eggers when it comes to a penis. It's not their equipment, just like we men don't know squat about twazzies. Gay men know dicks!

Darrell said...

Does this address the growers vs showers debate?

The article states that they are talking about flaccid size, so growers are shit out of luck no matter what the ultimate working length turns out to be. Women, apparently, are not interested in actual copulation, only show. Funny that.

Known Unknown said...

(Note: A previous version of this story was incorrectly edited and did not accurately reflect the data on the relative importance of the three factors studied in the research.)

Rabel said...

"Based on evolutionary principles, it could be possible that women look to penis size to judge a man’s appropriateness as a mate..."

So will garage mahal be the featured speaker at the next meeting of the Creationist Society?

Chip S. said...

So although attractiveness beyond the 3 in. continued to increase in a linear fashion, it did so at a slower rate.

Add "linearity" to the list of things Time writers know nothing about.

Sorun said...

It makes sense that flaccid penis size would be a factor in mate selection -- on the hot African savannah. Not many other places.

Unknown said...

Pogo
Come on talk dirty to me.
Use lots of phonemes.
I before E except after C always works for me.

Michael K said...

Who cares about flaccid penis size ? You've obviously never heard of the fellow with "Eat at Joes" tattooed on his penis. His room mate told his girlfriend about the tattoo and she said, "Who in world would tattoo "Eat at Josephine's Cafeteria, Chattanooga Tennessee" on their penis ?

Methadras said...

Rabel said...

So will garage mahal be the featured speaker at the next meeting of the Creationist Society?


He probably hasn't seen his dick in years, much less his feet.

Methadras said...

Michael K said...

Who cares about flaccid penis size ? You've obviously never heard of the fellow with "Eat at Joes" tattooed on his penis. His room mate told his girlfriend about the tattoo and she said, "Who in world would tattoo "Eat at Josephine's Cafeteria, Chattanooga Tennessee" on their penis ?


I see what you did right there. Well played sir. Well played.

SteveR said...

Did the CGI take into account the getting out of the pool effect?

Anonymous said...

From my experience, it's not the hands, but men's wrists that women focus on.

I was telling my wife that I had been looking at watches with a colleague, and that all of the new watches are enormous. At that point, she commented that they wouldn't look good on my colleague, because he had fine (narrow), wrists.

I was completely amazed that she would even have notices, let alone remembered, what his wrists looked like.

Dust Bunny Queen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KCFleming said...

[b], [p], [j], [o],
[f], [m], and [s]

Just me, bustin some phonemes for the ladies.

Drop [i][t] like it's hot!

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Finally....!! an opportunity to link to this song. Yay!

Slightly NSFW. But very catchy. Don't tell me you aren't singing along to the chorus. :-D

by: Da Vinci's Notebook

Darrell said...

Who in world would tattoo "Eat at Josephine's Cafeteria, Chattanooga Tennessee" on their penis ?

It would be funnier if you said "wife" instead of "girlfriend." More skin in the game.

sakredkow said...

Someone once asked Abraham Lincoln how long a man's penis should be. Lincoln thought for just a moment, and then replied, "I have not given the matter much consideration, but on first blush I should judge it ought to be long enough to reach from his body to the ground."

rhhardin said...

You'd think circumference would be the important number because the vagina is only four inches long, unless you're into serious cervix jostling.

Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...

How much did this cost the tax payer?

Anonymous said...

So, in other words, a commie-loving, baby-killing, freedom-hating publication can't write or think logically...

but we're supposed to think it's a "reputable" news source.

Enjoy the decline, morons!

Ralph L said...

A more interesting survey would be what women think about foreskins (something guys can actually change). But in other non-Muslim or Jewish countries, a cut guy is much rarer than here, so the novelty won't have worn off, skewing the poll.

Carnifex said...

I'm battin' o-fer :-(

Astro said...

Personally, I don't think a woman looks sexy unless her vagina is at least 5 inches deep.

I knew those 'X-Ray Specs' I bought when I was a kid would be useful someday.

Amartel said...

There's no upper limit on penis size?
Really?
'Cause I can think of an upper limit on penis size. [Elephant.] It really didn't take that much imagination. [Dragging it behind you as you walk down the street.]

But articles like this are designed to flatter a certain type of woman (dumb and entitled) and one of the easiest ways to flatter this type of woman is to remind them of ways in which they can make men insecure. Like penis size comparisons.

Amartel said...

"How much did this cost the tax payer?"

Oh, pleeeaase, Mizz Apple.
Worth every last penny if but one dumb, entitled broad is left feeling slightly less inadequate.

SteveR said...

You'd think circumference would be the important number because the vagina is only four inches long, unless you're into serious cervix jostling.

I kept breaking the ruler

Nomennovum said...

The article may be poorly written and the study a little creepy, but it nevertheless represents another confirmation of the obvious: size matters. Women talk among themselves about how well-endowed a guy is. Few women can resist, at least once in their lives, commenting "Well, you [drive a flashy car/act so macho/whatever] becasue you have a small dick." Shit, it's happened right here in the comments section on this blog. Women love to play the small dick ridiculing card. And when they see a large purty one (large and pretty being one and the same, it seems), they go crazy. They even seem to enjoy the pain they cause.

Women like a large cock. It's in their genes. This is another harsh truth we all have to acknowedge.

caplight45 said...

Does there appear to be a subtle connection between this we post and the cafe picture post where can "hang out all we want"?

Anthony said...

From various online forums, most women I have heard from regard girth as of more immediate importance then length, though all things being equal longer is better.

Of course, they'll say a "good sense of humor" is tops, but we know better.

cubanbob said...

Well so much for the myth woman used to tell me size doesn't matter. There is nothing that one can do about it and unless yours is of porn-star legend dimensions there probably be a woman who will be less than impressed. Look on the bright side, now we don't have to sneak a side glance at a hot rack or ass.

Carl said...

Maybe this is subfusc cultural pushback on male preference for younger women.

He: I want something younger and tighter.

She: That's just because you're small. Heh.

Michael Haz said...

So they asked 105 (probably drunk at the beach) Australian women about penis size, while showing them photos. Real good science, right there.

And I say this has a member (cough cough) of the top decile.

Michael Haz said...

Of course women have no sense of distance because they've been told for years that this >| |< is eight inches.

Patrick said...

Reminds me of the Onion article: "Guy With Large Penis Unsure how to get Word Out."

Amartel said...

"The article may be poorly written and the study a little creepy, but it nevertheless represents another confirmation of the obvious: size matters."

Oh, boo hoo. The only thing the article confirms is that some people like to talk about penis size. Like some people like to talk about boob size. It's not science. It's barely journalism.

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

There is a 90s movie with a scene where a woman wanted a boob job and the plastic surgeon used an early version of CGI to help her determine what size she wanted.
It was a movie with Brigete Fonda... the scene was comical. I'm on the phone, its a pain looking things up.

Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...

Q: Who are you going to please with that?

A: Myself, madam.

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

Whatever happen to B Fonda?

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

There is a 90s movie with a scene where a woman wanted a boob job and the plastic surgeon used an early version of CGI to help her determine what size she wanted.
It was a movie with Brigete Fonda... the scene was comical. I'm on the phone, its a pain looking things up.

William said...

Lincoln said that his legs were just long enough to reach the ground. That same principle is operative with the penis. It should be just long enough to reach orgasm.....I'm tall and have broad shoulders. I wouldn't mind losing a bit of height for a bit somewhere else. I think men want a penis size commensurate with their ego. Central Asia is about the right size.

Skeptical Voter said...

What's with this three inch stuff? Did women suddenly get good at math?

chickelit said...

Chirbit: Mr. Ed prefers blonde palaminos

ricpic said...

The penis came mincing down the street,
The schlong blocked penis' path, waiting.
One look, penis beat a quick retreat --
The schlong was made for mating.

SomeoneHasToSayIt said...

Girls are lucky we men don't decide to obsess on vaginal tightness. I only have personal knowledge of a sample of 11, but even among that small sample, there is a range.

One reason guys don't discuss this, of course, is it leads one open to the rejoinder: "You found some loose? Well, I've never had that problem."

Anonymous said...

Absolutely no comment.

Chip Ahoy said...

Whenever speaking of penis size, make your mouth into an "O" and then make an "O" with your hand using your mouth for a size-guide. Then show the hand "O," (which is an "F" in asl) and say, "This big."

But my favorite thing to say after you blow me and then move like you're going to kiss me is, "With that mouth?"

Barry Dauphin said...

But the real question is what length of men's shorts is most appealing to women?

coketown said...

One missing variable seems to be proximity. Is the six-incher on the barstool next to you more attractive than the nine-incher across the room?

How can we express this mathematically?

Would 3D glasses work with the computer-generated images? It would be funny watching the women duck as the penises moved closer.

If I didn't find sexual topics both arousing and hilarious, I would have made a fine academic.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
caplight45 said...

Does this post call for a Chip Ahoy animation?

Methadras said...

rhhardin said...

You'd think circumference would be the important number because the vagina is only four inches long, unless you're into serious cervix jostling.


That's called bottoming out.

Gene said...

One reason guys don't discuss this, of course, is it leads one open to the rejoinder: "You found some loose? Well, I've never had that problem."

That reminds me of the story of two guys taking a leak off a bridge one night.

"Boy, that water is cold," says one.

"Yeah," says the other. "Deep too."

Sam L. said...

Poorly written? I am shocked, shocked...

Titus said...

The most important is the backdrop on which the cock lies.

If it is a small waist even the tiniest of peepee can look ok.

I don't have a large penis when soft but it looks decent size against my 30 inch waist.

When my penis is fully erect though it looks quite impressive and I receive compliments like constantly. 8 1/2 inches, cut mushroom head.

The head itself can add an inch or two in which the uncuts don't have-but if they have some peeled off yellow smegma attached to some long pubes and klingers and hardened piss projecting from the uncut pouch/pocket that may add an inch or two-but that isn't real meat inches.

thanks and tits.

Gene said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nomennovum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nomennovum said...

The head itself can add an inch or two in which the uncuts don't have-but if they have some peeled off yellow smegma attached to some long pubes and klingers and hardened piss projecting from the uncut pouch/pocket that may add an inch or two-but that isn't real meat inches.

A well-executed run-on sentence is its own reward. It's less what is said than how.

Dante said...

Frankly this seems like a bullshit article.

Some female birds have prefer long tailed male birds. No one knows why. But a very clever study showed pretty clearly that the longer the tail the better. So the tails of these birds has grown until the balance of dying from predators vs. reproducing was reached (horrifying, isn't it?)

But the last I checked, guys aren't tripping over their flaccid dicks, and probably at that point you could wrap it around your tiny waist anyway.

Astro said...

"No upper limit"?
Seems to me that at some point hydraulics becomes a factor in limiting penis size.

Known Unknown said...

Who cares about flaccid penis size ? You've obviously never heard of the fellow with "Eat at Joes" tattooed on his penis. His room mate told his girlfriend about the tattoo and she said, "Who in world would tattoo "Eat at Josephine's Cafeteria, Chattanooga Tennessee" on their penis ?


Tennessee has no s on the end.

Known Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

That hideous thing women do to their bodies actually began among male porn stars, as it made them look bigger.

Peter

Tom said...

"a tad hard"? Shenanigans!

Tom said...

"a tad hard"? Shenanigans!

Sorun said...

Imagine a primitive nekkid tribe. You don't want to have the smallest flaccid dick in the tribe, and you don't want to be married to the smallest dick in the tribe. That's just how people are, So there must have been some selection going on.

Sorun said...

Just my contribution to theoretical anthropology.

Rosalyn C. said...

Too bad penis enlargement surgery isn't safe because of course size matters. People act as if women aren't stimulated visually or girls don't talk. That Australian study apparently used a model of a 3"-4" penis as an average. Really? Have guys been getting smaller in the last 40 years? Maybe yes. ( http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2012/09/19/italian-study-shows-male-genitalia-is-shrinking/) Air pollution is to blame.

Most of those women who say penis size doesn't matter probably aren't having orgasms anyway. They are actually being honest about their own experience, since as many as 80 percent of women have difficulty with orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/sex-tips/10-surprising-facts-about-orgasms-111985

Thanks Ann, after all those articles about spectacular breasts and breast enhanced billionaires, thanks for equal time for the guys to be objectified and humiliated.

chickelit said...

Sorun said...
Just my contribution to theoretical anthropology.

It's called keeping up with the Johnsons.

viator said...

As with breasts, size matters.

"A new study conducted by researchers at Utrecht University in Amsterdam confirms what's seemingly always been a gay obsession- penis size. The study doesn't focus on an idolization of male genitals (after all, being gay is not synonymous with sex), but shows a link between gay male penis size and gay self-esteem.

The larger the penis, they say, the more confident gay men were with potential lovers and in every day life. Behind penis size were concerns over the stomach and skin."

Big dicks are a universal feature in all varieties of porn which includes men.

Then there is the cornucopia of dildos which might throw some light on the question.

George M. Spencer said...

A scientific look at the subject in the book "Why is the Penis Shaped Like That" by Jesse Bering

The relevant excerpt is readable at Amazon.

The organ's length and the existence of the coronal ridge (which retards removal of ejaculate) permit the maximum amount of semen to travel the shortest possible distance to achieve fertilization, thus maximizing evolution's goals.