1. Oh, why not? Ricky Gervais is here, hosting, making jokes about the tininess of his penis and how it looks big in his small hands where it usually is. That might sound funnier if it weren't 7 pm (Central Time) on network TV. Then, here's Nicole Kidman looking great with red hair and a light pink dress featuring prominent tiny nipples. She reminds us about Haiti, then hands out the best supporting actress award to Mo'nique, who is overdraped in gold satin and fabulously made up with ultralong eyelashes. Mo'nique loves God and all the other actors in her movie "Precious."
2. Most of the women are wearing asymmetrical dresses, and Julianna Margulies, who won the TV actress award, looked like she got confused getting into the straps of hers. Michael C. Hall, who won the TV actor award, has on a wool stocking cap for some reason. As a tribute to victims of the Haitian earthquake? I don't know. [ADDED: I'm told Hall has cancer. I'm sorry.]
3. The set is orange. I'm tired of looking at orange. Is it supposed to be "golden"? Hey, suddenly: Cher! She looks statuesque and hourglassy. It's the song award. Paul McCartney is nominated and there, but he doesn't win.
4. Meryl Streep wins best [comedy/musical] actress for "Julie and Julia." She's shrouded in a big black dress clamped on with a thick buckled belt. But she has one naked shoulder left out of the shroud, so she's on the asymmetry kick with everyone else. She pretends she didn't remember what she wanted to say and stammers her way into a tribute to her mother and a mini-breakdown over all the suffering in the world.
5. Drew Barrymore gets a TV actress award for "Grey Gardens." She's wearing the best outfit for the day, but it's quite silly, covered in crystal pimples with a glitter hedgehog at one shoulder and the opposite hip.
6. Samuel L. Jackson introduces "a real-life movie star" — Sophia Loren. She's got a beautiful symmetrical dress. It's black, outlining her famous breasts and nipping in at her should-be-equally-famous waist, and it has sheer sleeves that are shaded at the shoulders with a sprinkling of black beads for an ombre effect. She gives the foreign film award to "The White Ribbon."
7. "Mad Man" is the best TV show. The best TV actress is Chloe Sevigny (for "Big Love"). Cool. I like her. She's wearing an insane widely-ruffled mauve dress and she's gasping about ripping it, not that she ripped it in any kind of an interesting way.
8. Halle Berry looks sharp and sleek in a tight black dress with little cap sleeves and a giant plunge down the chest. Her hair is crisply modern too — short and sticking up on top. She gives the supporting movie actor award to Christoph Waltz, who was so wonderful as the Nazi in "Inglourious Basterds."
9. "Marty eats, drinks, and sleeps film. I hear there are videos on the internet of Marty having sex with film." It's Robert DeNiro, talking about Martin Scorsese, who's getting one of these lifetime awards. Cool clip show, reminding me, among other things, of how much I love... "After Hours"... and "King of Comedy"....
10. Oh, they love Jodie Foster. She's wearing a plain black dress, that makes it's nod to asymmetry with a slit up the left leg. She's not giving an award, just presenting one of the films. Gervais, sipping from that beer he's got at the lectern: "I like a drink as much as the next man... unless the next man... is Mel Gibson." Here's Gibson, acting drunk, for fun... supposedly. The category is director, and the award goes to ... suspense... James Cameron. He doesn't say "I'm the king of the world." He tells us he's got to "pee something fierce."
11. The best TV show is "Glee." That's nice, I guess. "This is for everybody who got a wedgie in high school."
12. Ah, we're almost done. It's the best comedy/musical award. "The Hangover." Mike Tyson is involved. Strange!
13. Arnold Schwarzenegger! The actor. It's as if that whole thing about him being governor was just some crazy dream. He presents "Avatar," which looks really annoying. Then Mickey Rourke comes out — in a cowboy hat — to do the drama actress award. It's Mickey because he won best actor last year, not because he's the height of Hollywood glamour, which he's not. The winner is Sandra Bullock, and Mickey looks really disappointed. Sandra is wearing a very filmy, very purple dress.
14. Sally Hutton announces the drama actor award. She's wearing a nutty short dress. It's Robert Downey Jr.! I've always loved him. He's got a whole standup routine going. He's not going to thank anyone... but he does. "Art in the blood is liable to take the strangest forms." [ADDED: Oops. That was the comedy/musical actor. Hmm. Sherlock Holmes is comedy? Or was there music?]
15. The best drama actor is actually Jeff Bridges. The presenter was the lovely Kate Winslet, who's wearing a simple black dress with one thick vertical strap on the right side. Asymmetry. Jeff gets a standing O. Why? Because he's The Dude? "You're really screwing up my 'under appreciated' status," he says.
16. The best drama movie — presented by Julia Roberts, who thought it was cute to tell her kids to go to bed — is "Avatar." James Cameron warns us that now he has peed, so he's going to blabber. He loves his job. We have the best job. "Give it up for yourselves." He says that twice. Because "that's the most amazing thing." Jeesh. "'Avatar' asks us to see that everything is connected, all human beings to each other, and us to the earth."
17. And us to bed!
January 17, 2010
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74 comments:
Me too! Me too! I love God. I love God!! Now where's ma mothafuckin' 'ward?!
Golden Globes, on NBC!
Juliana Margulies: "thanks to Les Moonves for believing in the 10 o'clock drama..."
Jeez, who gives a crap?
Ricky Gervais is not funny.. and I think I'm being kind.
Ricy Gervais is brilliant, very subversive. I'm loving him.
Michael C Hall recovering from lymphoma treatment :(
Golden who? My first ever watching of "24" and it starts with a sniper looking down his sights. YAY! Hooked already!
Palladian must be static ;)
Awesome, that was my thought also. I wonder if he lost his hair.
Nice hedgehog. I wonder how she trained it to stay on her shoulder.
Why do these people not know that applauding oneself is creepy?
Indeed, Joe. Soviets always applauded themselves on the Politburo pulpit.
Haha!
Not watching Gervais, who I think is a very funny man, and that coming from someone with a scant sense of humor...but my point is this...FUNNY stuff, Althouse!
So funny, in fact, that I would rather stay here than flip on the TV to watch Gervais.
Victoria, be sure to get last season on DVD. Was my first time watching the show and it was great.
Still debating watching it tonight or waiting until summer for the DVDs. One hour and forty minutes left to decide...
Paddy, I've been commenting too much on Althouse since the debut, to say if I really like it or not. It's certainly unlike any other series I've watched.
And yes, I'll check out the very first season, at my local BB. :)
James Cameron likes Avatar likened to eco-terrorism.
Entertainment Weekly: “’Avatar’ is the perfect eco-terrorism recruiting tool.”
JC: “Good, good. I like that one. I consider that a positive review. I believe in eco-terrorism.”
Thank God I walked out and got my money back.
Huh... my RSS feeders didn't pick this post all that fast. Weird. Anyway...
I'm all for mentioning charities and giving for Haiti, but can these self-righteous narcissists get over this pat-our-collective-backs attitude? What was the Biblical quote about not being so obvious and self-promoting when praying and attending services? The whole point being that worship shouldn't be about what you're doing. I wish more people would apply that to their charities-of-the-moment. Give, but can the Catholic-type-guilt attitude and the I'm-this-close-to-crying mein. The charities are not about you people, their about the victims.
[end rant]
On a lighter note: Does it seem like they're playing the winners off the stage fast tonight, or what? Mo'nique was the only one really allowed to run free.
Wouldn't it be funny if she was the one who ruined it for everyone else? :D
Sheeit. When I was suffering as a lowly private in the army I didn't get no sympathy card from Meryl. I'll bet Streep looks down that long scary knifelike nose of hers at the suffering of bitter clingers in flyover country, too. Only the suffering of approved minorities gets her sympathy juices flowing, bless her warped little liberal heart.
A female character on "24" just mentioned a "back end server".
Where IS Titus?
Oh, Gawd Vic... LOL.
Boots on the ground is AWOL, Tibore. I'm sure he was in Worcester, at the Brown rally.
Man, I like Scorsese. He seems to be a guy who genuinely loves film in every way (save for the dirty way DeNiro suggested... or maybe not!) but doesn't get a narcisstic hangup about it. Too many Hollywood figures can't separate themselves from the history and mythology of the industry they're in, but in Scorsese's case, you get the feeling that if he were some old accountant somewhere in Kansas, he'd be every bit the same film buff as he is now. And would have the same collection of Hollywood curios as well. :D
OMG, I don't believe Gervais introducted Mel Gibson that way!
LMAO!
Boots on the ground is AWOL..
Somebody asked and somebody told.
It's not the boots, it's what he chooses to wear with them. Somehow, I don't think that hot pants and flamboyant shirts really go with either cowboy or combat boots. :-S
Somehow, I see Titus as Hickey Freeman or Brooks Bros all the way. Very professional, very conservative, very elegant, an American Classic, and not at all flaming.
Prof
All of Ms. Loren is famous. She still outshines the current crop of so-called lovelies...
Before I die I want to see a Julia Roberts and Quentin Tarantino baby.
Victoria,
Either you know something about him that I don't, or we're not talking about the same loaf-reporter. Where did you get the Brooks Brothers image? I don't see it.
Hooray! Glee won!
24. I hate it when they waste a perfectly good helicopter.
Avatar wins .. I'm shocked.
Too many Hollywood figures can't separate themselves from the history and mythology of the industry they're in...
And here comes James Cameron to epitomize this. Look, I actually like the guy, and mostly dig his movies. But... listen to his "give it up for yourselves" speech. It's not that films are amazing and that it's humbling to be part of them, it's more of the "King Of The World" attitude.
I like his stuff, and I like him - how can you not dig a fellow who indulges his love of ocean exploration by actually taking his millions and doing it himself? - but he's got flaws, and that thank you speech for Avatar's win exemplified that.
But what's news about this? Hollywood's always been narcisstic. I guess I'm doing nothing more than stating the obvious.
I am not at all flaming.
Victoria is right. I actually dress rather conservatively.
But I found it fascinating that some here assume I am a flammer.
Gay yes, flammer no
Where did you get the Brooks Brothers image? I don't see it.
Tibore, when you're a Wisconsin milkmaid in the land of Beacon Hill, you better not act clueless.
;)
So, I don't get it about "24". This 2hr. episode was the season premiere yes? There was a teaser about Monday being the season premiere, so I'm not sure if that's a rerun of tonight or what.
As to my first impressions, eh. It was a'ight.
I didn't catch Scorcese, because as I said earlier, I am catching the "funny" right here on Althouse. I do have an opinion about him though, after seeing him so many times before at these events.
The man gives all that he has in the course of doing what he loves. And all for OUR entertainment.
For his own rewards? You betcha. Not so much for his own awards though.
Lay you dollars to donuts, that this is a man who, if he fails to take the prize, worries more about how he left US down, than how we left him down.
He's a rare treasure.
FYI-boots on the ground here. The sleeping democrats are now awake.
Brown is suing? I don't like any type of Lawyeral action. No suing by people!
Nothing about Avatar showed connection, it showed disconnection.
Jeff Bridges won because he's... Lightfoot!
"'Avatar' asks us to see that everything is connected, all human beings to each other, and us to the earth."
So he made up a fictional world where everything is connected because it's too hard to show that everything is connected here because it isn't.
"Titus said...
I am not at all flaming.
Victoria is right. I actually dress rather conservatively.
But I found it fascinating that some here assume I am a flammer.
Gay yes, flammer no"
My apologies, Titus. I had no idea. I did make the boots joke with the intention of it being a full out joke and not reflect reality but yes, I had no idea.
"Tibore, when you're a Wisconsin milkmaid in the land of Beacon Hill, you better not act clueless."
But being clueless with and about the hoi polloi back in milkmaidland is all right? :-?
"The man gives all that he has in the course of doing what he loves. And all for OUR entertainment.
For his own rewards? You betcha. Not so much for his own awards though.
Lay you dollars to donuts, that this is a man who, if he fails to take the prize, worries more about how he left US down, than how we left him down.
He's a rare treasure."
That's why I dig him. In regards to film, he's so guileless about his love for it. It's a pure respect for cinema, and there's not a trace of self-centeredness about it at all with him.
"Synova said...
Nothing about Avatar showed connection, it showed disconnection."
"Freeman Hunt said...
So he made up a fictional world where everything is connected because it's too hard to show that everything is connected here because it isn't."
I actually dig the concept of a world where bioelectrochemical interconnectivity at such a basic level exists. The ability to store and access memories would be incredible. And the ability to communicate with natural entities would also be something amazing for learning and science.
But this is where I have to invoke the Vatican's argument: The whole deification of nature because of this would be the height of superstition and dark ages behavior. That's the part I object to. Nature is nature, and powerful in very elemental ways, but turning that into something to worship is choosing to avoid fundamental understanding. And when that ossifies into an inability to grow and change, then that's costly and fatal to a population. I really believe the Vatican's opinion makers are on to something: Turning humanity away from being a good steward of nature into a helpless slave of it is regression, not progress, and covering that slavery with mythological worship of nature as a God is merely trying to put a good face on it (what's that saying again? "Lipstick on a pig"?...).
So there are elements of Avatar that are fascinating to me, but there's a lot of superficial pseudoreligiosity about it that's appaling. And frankly, off putting; I thought that society had moved past that since the 60's. Looks like some people are still stuck with the misunderstandings of what comprises a real religion.
Oh, Victoria, that reminds me: I riffed off of Synova's critique of Avatar in a previous post. You might find where Synova was going interesting; I certainly did. And Synova, if you happen to read this, I figured you might have something else to add to what I added to your post. Anyway, my post is the last in this thread:
"Ever since I went to see 'Avatar' I have been depressed."
It had the potential to be an interesting avenue for the discussion to take, but it sort of ended in midair.
Oh, thanks, Tibore! :)
I don't know if this bit of news will be interesting in exchange, but I just went to InTrade for one last peak tonight.
BROWN - 70.0 Up, 17.5
COAKLEY - 38.9 Down, 8.6
Now I can dream. Night Tibore!
Cheers,
Victoria
MadisonMan: I'm glad Glee won, too.
Chip:24. I hate it when they waste a perfectly good helicopter.
You mean they didn't blow it up? (I haven't watched it yet).
Avatar wins best picture? Yawn. Oh, wait: "Best" = "made the most money". All makes sense!
17. And us to bed!
Post made at 7:25 PM...kinda early for bed, isn't it? What's the haps?
A noble warrior race untouched by the motivations of war.
How does that work?
That's one way it is disconnected.
Of course what he meant by "connections" is the idea that all life is connected, but the movie doesn't show that either. The humans and the Na'vi are not connected. The fate of one race is not connected to the fate of the other. Pandora is a disconnected microcosm and restoring that is the "win" at the end.
Some of what I've seen suggests that Cameron had a slightly more complex story when he started 15 years ago.
"Avatar wins best picture? Yawn. Oh, wait: "Best" = "made the most money". All makes sense!"
Now now... in spite of my critique of the plot (see my post linking to a previous thread above - I really ripped the plot a bunch), I feel the need to defend it in this case. This movie did push motion-capture to a whole new level, and if anyone saw the technology they developed to control virtual camera movement, it is a fine behind-the-scenes advancement. To elaborate further on this point: The problem with current CGI is that it restricts points of view to the console operator (in plain english: To an artist in front of a computer). Now, that doesn't have to be debilitating - painters have been restricted to using their canvases for centuries, and they've still produced great works. However, there should be more than one way to skin a cat, and painters don't make the same sort of art that, say, sculptors do. So limiting a technology to favor a "painter" over a "sculptor" on the basis of "good enough" is limiting advancement. Give the non-painters some love and develop ways to break free of the console; those who are talented and like working that way can continue, but others who might break out and produce good works if technology allowed a different approach can benefit too. Which is one reason by itself I'm happy that Avatar exists: The virtual camera perspective control that Cameron's team developed by itself is a terrific advancement, and makes intuitive to non-CGI geeks how to take what a CGI savant makes and properly frame and film it. All the CGI geek needs to do is go a step further and develop the entire scene's context, and not merely the part that appears in the frame, so the director and cinematographer have room to roam their virtual camera around. By itself, that's a terrific achievement.
Now, does that justify a "Best Picture" nomination? That's arguable; frankly, if there were technical awards in the Globes, I'd feel those are more appropriate. You can see my opinion on the plot and script itself in my posts, so I too feel that this is a badly flawed film. But I want to argue against blanket, overall "all or nothing" condemnation of Avatar. It's only the lazy storyline and script I critique. Yes, story is the central part of any film, I know, so I'm fully aware that that's a damning critique. But my point is that there are aspects to the film that ought to be lauded, despite of the simplistic script, and I want to defend that about Avatar that deserves defense. The technical aspects are collectively one of those elements; the invention of a rich fictional world, even if not well served by the script is another. There are more - for example, I did not elaborate on how Cameron pushed motion capture forward, but that information can be found online with a minimum of effort - but my point is that I can slam the script and general insinuations about life and the modern world with anybody, but I feel that there are good aspects/elements of the movie that deserve acknowledgement and attention. And I don't want those to fall to the wayside just because Cameron decided to insult modern society, industry, the military, and non-Gaia-centric religions with his story.
"vbspurs said...
Oh, thanks, Tibore! :)
I don't know if this bit of news will be interesting in exchange, but I just went to InTrade for one last peak tonight.
BROWN - 70.0 Up, 17.5
COAKLEY - 38.9 Down, 8.6
Now I can dream. Night Tibore!
Cheers,
Victoria"
Hehe... g'night Victoria!
I, too, opted for 24, so thank you Althouse for blogging the Golden Globes.
Glad to hear Juliana Margulies won. I wasn't a big fan of her ER days, but I've become mightily impressed with The Good Wife. I like exceedingly that the show almost never goes in the direction that half a century of TV watching has trained me to expect.
While I enjoyed 24, (and I love seeing Starbuck in a dress and looking all girly) it was one of the slower starts. Victoria, the show premieres in its regular slot tomorrow night with the 3rd hour.
I'm off to find a slide show of the Golden Globe fashions.
"Synova said...
Of course what he meant by "connections" is the idea that all life is connected, but the movie doesn't show that either. The humans and the Na'vi are not connected. The fate of one race is not connected to the fate of the other."
Oddly enough, I have a slight disagreement with that. Yes, the humans and the Na'vi tried to keep the connection away - the humans by the initial distance involved with only letting the scientists study the Na'vi, and the Na'vi by refusing to "see" that the humans were involved with their world (an odd mistake by a culture with such an emphasis on seeing truths). But that disconnectedness was an illusion, and it was built by both parties. The Na'vi tried to act as though their fate was not connected with the humans, but that onlly led to the loss of their Home Tree. And the human villans in the story - Selfridge and Quaritch - tried to deny connectivity of fates by only concentrating on the tools at hand (Quaritch with his military force) and goals desired (Selfridge wanting Unobtanium), but their choice of assaulting the Na'vi instead of going for all the other sources of ore around (the floating moutains, accoriding to Avatar lore, are ore deposits themselves... which begs the question of why they thought the ground was the easiest source for all that when there was plenty floating around... but that's a plot hole that hasn't been answered by Cameron's team) inextricably linked their fate to what the Na'vi would chose to do in response. It was ignorant of Selfridge and Quaritch to only think that the "roaches would scatter" and go find another tree.
One of the problems that both the humans and Na'vi created for themselves was to deny the connection. The humans should've known better, but you can argue that some of them did; the whole Avatar program in the movie was an attempt to create better connectivity. The Na'vi, really, were the ones who screwed the pooch by thinking that Tsahaylu were the only connections that mattered. But, without that denial, there would have been no conflict and no story, so it's no surprise that the story ended up getting written in the way it did.
Now, I need to point out that I think Cameron really didn't think things through when he introduced the whole theme of connections. He only carried that concept out in a superficial way. But he's always been guilty of superficial presentation of themes; they're just far less apparent when the storyline isn't so grandiose.
A noble warrior race untouched by the motivations of war.
I've always liked the peaceful people who know how to fight plot.
(sarcasm off.)
Missy Clinton brings much needed comfort to Haitians: Cigarettes.
She also brought them tubs of lard, white sugar, and Twinkies.
Cheers,
Victoria
I do not care to be connected to James Cameron.
Well. Wow. We've got us some movement, culturally speaking. Little dicks, tiny nips, acknowledged either directly through a comedy riff or indirectly via wardrobe choice. Who'da thunk? (But no person, thinking or un-, ought place assumption bets based on one, fleeting, little night out--of course.)
Day-umm.
Dang, even.
; )
1/18/10 1:05 AM
Not that anyone asked or anyone'd be interested, but I'm listening to Meatloaf's "You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth" right now. It's a redux thing--and in more than one way, aside from its age: I very recently found it fleetingly informing and comforting in a very different context, as well.
Then, I stopped by here.
Maybe, just maybe, someday, just maybe someday, I'll share my personal nomination for the song which best encapsulates the Althouse--wait, wait: that is, encapsulated it pre-Meade.
Many more contenders thereafter, and almost no reason to bother to discern, much less decide. I'm inclined to think that's a great, good thing for the actual people involved.
It would be fun to hear Ann's explanation for why:
Professors Tilt Left.
wv: ready. I AM!
Tibore: "Now now... in spite of my critique of the plot (see my post linking to a previous thread above - I really ripped the plot a bunch), I feel the need to defend it in this case.
I liked Avatar, say three stars out of four. And that was the 2D version. I think eventually it will be seen like Jurassic Park — a landmark in special effects with a so-so story.
"'Avatar' asks us to see that everything is connected, all human beings to each other, and us to the earth."
We'd all better be extra-careful not to touch any live wires then.
From Avatar 2: The Rape of Pandora
"See, Corporal Sully, you guys have already lost. We've moved a small asteroid near Pandora, and there's a rocket ready to push it. If we fire the rocket, in three hours, the asteroid lands on the Tree of Souls, in an impact as big as a 10 kiloton nuclear detonation. Hiroshima, centered on the Tree, but without any fallout.
"You can't stop the rock from falling. Hell, after we fire the rocket, we can't stop the rock from falling. It's not a warhead that can malfunction or be disbled or countermanded; it's just a big chunk of rock. It just falls, and it hits.
"We fire the rocket, the Tree of Souls is dead. And there are lots of small asteroids, Corporal Sully, and since we're already in space, they're cheap for us to drop. We can obliterate all life on the surface if we have to.
"So, the Na'vi have a choice. They can work for us, helping us extract the unobtanium in the quantities we want at the speed we want. Or they can all die, every last one of them, and then we'll use machines to strip mine the lifeless moon.
"We really don't care. That unobtanium is now ours, and we're going to take it back to Earth. All the Na'vi get to choose is how many of them die before we do."
"Fuck you, you bastard!"
"I'll give you a day to think it over. You've lost, the Na'vi have lost. All that's left is finding out how many corpses I have to make before you accept it."
Brilliant blog.So funny, in fact, that I would rather stay here than flip on the TV to watch Gervais.yeast infection
Holy lord, Steven, that Avatar sounds like a film I could enjoy.
Victoria, 24 seasons begin with two night, 4-hour events, so the two episodes airing on Monday night are the 3rd and 4th episodes of the season.
It was one of the lesser compelling beginnings, I must say, and the truth is that 24 pretty much sucks, except that it has frequent moments of sheer awesomeness.
And that's why I still watch it.
Cameron has come out in favor of eco-terrorism. I suppose than means he would not object if someone burned down his house, which I gather is rather large. Why not shut down his movies while we are at it, to save the gas used in going to the theater. Just another rich jerk.
7. "Mad Man" is the best TV show.
11. The best TV show is "Glee."
Right the first time.
Kensington, thanks so much! Ruth Anne also elucidated the matter on Twitter.
It's possible that I really should view S1, at least, before continuing with this serason. I was floored by the "Jack is putting on his Murse!" comments in tweets.
Cheers,
Victoria
Then, here's Nicole Kidman looking great with red hair and a light pink dress featuring prominent tiny nipples
Can something be prominent and tiny at the same time?
I have to admit I got a thrill up my leg when Jack donned his man purse, too. I think of it as his TARDIS.
And, yeah, there are some epic moments in season one, and I do recommend it. Brace yourself for some awfulness, too, though. I'm telling you -- trying to craft a real-time program that lasts 24 hours is apparently very, very difficult to do well.
Kensington:
I'm telling you -- trying to craft a real-time program that lasts 24 hours is apparently very, very difficult to do well.
Doing it the first season was probably very, very difficult. I don't know how I'd describe doing it eight seasons.
I thought the first three seasons were great, with the quality dropping off after that.
"Hoosier Daddy said...
Can something be prominent and tiny at the same time?"
Don't you remember Robert Reich from the Clinton administration? ;)
(*ducks*)
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