"Somewhere in between normcore, cyberpunk, goth, and sportswear chic exists the possibly real trend known as 'health goth.'"

According to "Introducing Health Goth, a New Lifestyle Trend" in New York Magazine, which quotes another website that defines the term jocosely (I assume it's jocose):

"Health Goth relies on an anti-nostalgic dystopian present, refracting the Other by means of an exaggerated profile and tribal-aesthetics … Health Goth creates a proto-narrative of returning to paradise lost by embracing mortality as a One-World consciousness and devotion as means to deliver us from late Capitalism … Health Goth speaks to an intrinsic psychic connection with the elements, be they fire, water or fauna and the ability to incorporate ambient nature into the corporeal realm."

NY Mag restates the idea as "wearing black but also working out and eating right." And: "That feeling of sadness, but also sportiness." But is it cool? No, "mainstream narcs have already ruined it."

"Is Professor Althouse really goth?"

Siouxsie Law examines the evidence — and offers "to fly out to Madison to help" me if I "ever want[] a goth makeover."

Well, I think goths may be dangerous... so how about some Photoshopping from a safe distance?