Celebrities in distress.

Ed Sheeran, "shattered" and "in tears" as he sat cross-legged onstage at Lincoln Financial Field.

Carrot Top, perhaps extorted over a sex tape and perhaps having attempted suicide.

Presley Gerber, son of Cindy Crawford, dead at 27. The ideally handsome model died at a rehab facility. 

"It's unclear where the name Rose Bean originated from... however Gaga has a large rose down her spine..."

"... that she got to commemorate her performance of 'La Vie En Rose' in the film 'A Star is Born.' The middle name Bean may have been inspired by singer/activist Carl Bean -- whom her hit 'I Was Born This Way' pulled inspo from."

From "Lady Gaga & Michael Polansky/We Have a Baby Girl... Name Revealed" (TMZ).

Well, that's nice. I'm not named after my mother's tattoo. Are you?

I'm only reading TMZ because "CARROT TOP/HOSPITALIZED AFTER ATTEMPTED SUICIDE." Not seeing any reason. I hope he's okay. He's been treated unfairly over the years by people who think it's funny to say he's not funny.

Joe Rogan took issue with those people last year when Carrot Top appeared on the podcast:

People have been pushing me to listen to this or that episode of Joe Rogan — usually about vaccines — but I've felt resistant. Just wasn't up for it.

But then I saw the new episode was Carrot Top and I eagerly clicked and listened:

How can I explain my mood? I'm tired of hearing details about coronavirus and, more generally, pop culture debate about science topics that I'm not going to study with any expertise. And Carrot Top seemed like the perfect contrast to all that. A random celebrity that I knew but didn't care about. Is it just lockdown fatigue? Yeah, I'm tired of talking about it and hearing people angst about it. It's part of nature, so it's like talking about the weather. And it's been 2 years.

I love that Joe and Carrot Top talked about how Carrot Top has long been abused as a sort of punchline as if everyone understands him to be a bad comedian. No one knows what it's like to be hated — to be fated — to telling only prop jokes:

 

"It's like Nickelback...."