"When I tell her to cool it, she shrugs me off and says it’s her life, her right."

Writes the man, to the WaPo advice columnist, about his wife who "is one of those people whose entire life is put on display on social media." "Every single thing she experiences or knows about, good or bad, is immediately posted."

The advice columnist tells him not only that there's nothing he can do but also dings him for failing to say "a single positive word about your wife or your relationship in your letter."

I've always liked when newspaper advice columnists resist taking the letter-writer's point of view and sling inferences about something else that might really be going on.

Reminds me of how I read newspaper articles. 

"I’ve written freelance articles for years, drawing mostly on my life experience.... My boyfriend of eight months has requested that I not write about him anymore."

"He was initially okay with it, but he has read the handful of things I’ve published since we started dating and has changed his mind. I never say anything that reflects poorly on him or that I think he would find embarrassing; usually, if anything, I am self-deprecating. Before this relationship, I dated someone else for more than five years and wrote about that relationship freely with his blessing. I actually think part of what my current boyfriend is uncomfortable about is the implied comparison between that relationship and this one. My writing life will be quite a bit more difficult if I can’t write from life anymore. And he has already said no not just to articles that focus on our relationship, but also to ones that mention him in even a cursory way. It is an understandable request, but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s controlling and sabotaging, hopefully unintentionally."

A letter to the WaPo advice columnist.

Are you supposed to support your partner by accepting that you are a topic to be written about — raw material? It's an old problem. I've been there... on both sides.

But what's funny here is the writer's unwillingness to see herself as the user.

"I'm way past 50, and was dissatisfied with my tiny circle of 'friends.' They were angry, miserable people, who..."

"... due to our vicious political climate, couldn't have a discussion about anything else. It was exhausting to be with them. The answer? I went back to school. I'm now in my second semester at a four year college, working towards a BA in American Studies.... Thankfully, the students have accepted me as one of their own, and I have new friends and activities to keep me motivated. I also bought into the 'meal plan,' so I hardly even have to cook anymore. I show up, swipe my card, and have a great lunch or dinner with interesting company. Check into the university system in your state. Sometimes all you have to do is express an interest in auditing a class or classes and they will treat you like royalty."

That's the top-rated comment on a WaPo advice column dealing with the question how to make new friends when you're older than 50. The comment has comments, including, "Yes, school is for all ages these days, not just the 18-22 set! There are now more adult age students in college than those 18-22, so go and have fun and learn something interesting."

ADDED: Here's another commenter, with a different very specific recommendation: Be like Confucius:

"I am on overload with all the drama in the political landscape."

"I don’t want to hear it, but then I don’t want to be ill-informed — or worse, complacent by not paying attention. How to balance?"

A question addressed to Washington Post advice columnist Carolyn Hax, who begins her answer "You and me both."

I'll bet huge numbers of Americans identify with this question, and a lot of them won't even admit it because even to ask is to risk appearing ill-informed or complacent (or, if I may add a concept, unempathetic).

I believe that most people who have this question find that the answer is to be a chameleon. Just reflect whatever the people around you are saying so you'll be seen as a good person and you won't be prolonging the experience.

Hax's answer is about restricting your intake of news. She assumes the questioner's issues are about the inside of her head and not in her social relationships. And, in fact, the questioner does say "I don’t want to be ill-informed — or worse, complacent." I'm hearing "I don’t want to appear to be ill-informed — or worse, complacent."

I think this is why so many showbiz people and college students seem to be on the left.



ADDED: If the questioner really is concerned about the inside of her own head, my advice is: Only read the news. Don't watch it on television. Television news controls your time. It's designed to operate on your emotions and to make you feel that you are monitoring what's going on in the world and caring people in real time. You could watch all day and not become more informed than if you spent 10 minutes scanning the headlines and dipping into the opening paragraphs of the articles in the top newspapers.

On an advanced level: Read the news to develop your powers of critical thinking. Don't let it buffet you with one thing or another. When you read a news article, stop and ask yourself: What do I really think about this? If you can write one sentence in answer to that question, you can have a blog. But keep it private, unless you're not afraid of showing your true colors.

And better than that: If you really care about people, instead of keeping vigil in front of the tube, do something for somebody in your own town (or house!).