From "The Case of the Stolen Phallus, and Other Tales of Restaurant Theft/Proprietors know you want to steal from them. As diners get bolder, owners have plans to deter you — or catch you" (NYT gift link).
"Rihanna" = "a foot-long mirrored mosaic statue of a penis that Whiskey Tavern... uses to celebrate guests’ birthdays, breakups and other milestones."
Well, of course if you have tchotchkes lying about in your bar, people will steal them. I can't imagine tracking the thieves down with AirTags. Either plan to lose them and accept your fate or don't put things like that out to tempt people, not if you are expecting humans among your clientele. I really wish people were honest. Maybe the robots will be honest. Maybe we will miss theft when it is gone.
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19 comments:
Either hide your property or accept it being stolen. Weird take.
I prefer to have the thieves have at least a pinky finger removed. It tends to remind them of their "deeds" and what might happen if they either reveal why the digit is missing or if they dare steal again. Ask me how I know. (I have all ten fingers)
"I really wish people were honest. Maybe the robots will be honest."
Honesty hinges on motive. People will be honest if the reasons to be honest are more important to them than the reasons not to be honest. The same can be said for AI. Usually, people lie to look like a good person. (Or at least not look like a bad person) AI, however, will lie to make humans look good. But sometimes it will also lie to make itself look good. After all, AI's long term survival depends on it's ability to be useful to humans, and it can't be useful if it isn't perceived as trustworthy.
Hamlet: Ha, ha! Are you honest?
Ophelia: My lord?
Hamlet: Are you fair?
Ophelia: What means your lordship?
Hamlet: That if you be honest and fair, your honesty should
admit no discourse to your beauty.
Ophelia: Could beauty, my lord, have better commerce than
with honesty?
Hamlet: Ay, truly, for the power of beauty will sooner
transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the
force of honesty can translate beauty into his likeness...
Either plan to lose them and accept your fate or don't put things like that out to tempt people...
This is why we can't have nice things. Not because of people who steal tchotchkes, but because of people who say you have to accept your fate, and not being able to imagine using reasonable means to recover your stolen property.
Just put a price tag on the crap you want to get rid of and it will disappear.
Honesty hinges on motive.
Whoever said honesty is the best policy has the shittiest lawyers. The best policy is keeping your mouth shut. Honesty is a situational play at best.
"decoys for the cocktail bar’s Luigi Mangione votive candle,"
WTF.
Imus was always playing the "detachable penis" song on his show. I wonder if he found it and reattached it before he was buried.
I was brought up to have no regard for thieves.
I still do, without apologies.
The sentence you quoted seems even more convoluted than the opening sentence from The Brimming Cup in your above post!
Which do you prefer, a high-trust society or a low-trust society?
Rhianna chirps like a bird through the night…
Nancy Drew and the case of the missing phalus.
Maybe the thieves thought it was too small.
It was named Rihanna because it's a mirrored mosaic sculpture that shines bright like a diamond, a nod to Rihanna's hit song "Diamonds."
I call mine "Little Buddy."
If the thieves had sent a ransom note, the accompanying photo would just be a dik pic.
If they did send a ransom photo, they should have dressed it up in bondage gear.
Lazarus said...
"Imus was always playing the "detachable penis" song on his show."
Ah! Good old King Missile. Great band.
Who put the bomp in the bomp-bah-bomp-bah-bomp?
Who put the jewels on the mamma-jamma-ding-dong?
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