Writes Robert Samuels, in "Mikhail Shaidorov was everything Ilia Malinin wasn’t for one night" (WaPo)(gift link).
He was skating to the sound of his own voice, delivering affirmations....
Imagine a true God skating extravagantly to the sound of his own voice, delivering affirmations. Don't click for more unless you want to read Grok's 12-point answer to my question: If the God of the Old Testament were delivering affirmations to himself, what would he say?
1. I AM WHO I AM and that’s more than enough.
No revisions needed. No beta version. Perfection from commit #1.2. I spoke, and galaxies obeyed on the first try.
My follow-through is impeccable.3. Chaos thought it could compete.
I turned it into order and called it “very good.”
Still undefeated.4. I don’t need anyone’s permission to be jealous.
I invented exclusive relationships.
I get to set the terms.5. When I say “Let there be,” things don’t negotiate.
They happen. Instantly. No committee. No paperwork.6. I flooded the whole earth once and I still sleep fine at night.
Boundaries are healthy.7. My wrath is slow to kindle and great to behold.
I have excellent emotional regulation… until I don’t.
And that’s also perfect.8. I make covenants with dust and keep them forever.
My loyalty game is literally eternal.9. Angels cover their faces in my presence.
Mortals fall flat.
I look fantastic from every angle.10. I parted seas, stopped the sun, rained bread from heaven,
and turned rivers to blood just to make a point.
My communication style is clear, memorable, and effective.11. I don’t do “imposter syndrome.”
I AM the original. There is no other.12. Today I will create, judge, redeem, and consume as I see fit…
and it will still be called good—even when they don’t understand why.
Posts
41 comments:
“ When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.” - Jack Handey daily affirmations.
12-point list? Don't tell me Grok doesn't have a sense of humor.
What a great list. (very Trumpian)
I'm seeing some areas where President Trump can improve.
Really not getting it. Figure skating is a completely BS "sport". It is "scored" by "judges". So the point is to pick music the judges will like. Or in any case, music that will cause the judges to give you high scores. How one does that is beyond me. But I'm fairly sure a recording of your voice babbling "affirmations" ain't it.
#6 and #7
This is going to be my "go to" response to a lot of things from now on:
"I'm old. All celebrity news looks like this to me: 'Curtains for Zoosha? K-smog and Batboy caught flipping a grunt.'"
Who said AI doesn't have a sense of humor? Its devlish wit will put a lot of comedians out of business.
AI mocking God doesn't bother me. It's when AI tells us it is God that it becomes a problem
A friend of mine once told me that "pressure makes dookie or diamonds" ... in this case we got dookie, unfortunately.
Well..... he got to appear in the Olympics among the world's best competitors. Upset losses are what makes sports worth watching, not so?
I was toggling between this and our women’s hockey match vs Italy live during the day. It was an amusing juxtaposition. Balletic, athletic men smoothly skating across the ice. Women getting chippy and rough, bordering on fights. The Italian goaltender was heroic. And how can you not be happy for the gold medal man? From Khazakstan and with braces.
Meh. All the gods say stuff like that. I'll be impressed when I see him move that immovable object.
Jeeze, all I had to do was highlight his name and google took me right to youtube vid.
Not saying I coulda done better, but...
I think this stuff requires constant visualization of mastery.
Sounds like Malinin got cocky.
Jehovah been looksmaxxing.
The realm of The One Supreme Deity, the angels, the saints, and the afterlife suffers from the boredom, motivelessness, and pointlessness of fully realized perfection.
Where is the encore? Where is there even the hope for an encore?
"5. When I say “Let there be,” things don’t negotiate.
They happen. Instantly. No committee. No paperwork."
Sounds like a Chuck Norris joke:
When God said, “Let there be LIGHT!” Chuck Norris said, “Say, please.”
When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself; he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris doesn’t fill out online forms because he doesn’t submit to anyone.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
I'm guessing Malinin used some of those condoms we are reading about. "Are you the guy they call Quad God?" "Well yes, yes I am."
The quoted excerpt reads like Shaidorov is a Satanist who got a little help from his friends.
h/t Rosemary's Baby
"Is there a God?" / "There is NOW!" -- I. Asimov
Stunning disappointment. Lots of pressure. He'll be back.
God doesn't engage in hubris. That's the chief difference between God and figure skaters......I didn't read beyond the headline, but there's apparently some kind of scandal going on among the curlers. I would expect a deep sense of humility and a commitment to sportsmanship among curlers, but they have apparently been corrupted by the pressures and fame of Olympic curling.
’Jehovah been looksmaxxing.’
I’ll give that comment a 9.8
Is this about figure skating? Feh.
Anyone else ever read God's Gym?
https://a.co/d/0cSBiXll
I skimmed it in the MoMa gift shop about 25 years ago. Here's the Amazon blurb:
"In this strikingly original work, Stephen Moore considers God's male bodies--the body of Yahweh in the Hebrew Bible, and the Father of Jesus Christ, and Jesus himself in the New Testament--and our obsessive earthly quest for a perfect human form. God's Gym is about divinity, physical pain, and the visions of male perfectability. Weaving together his obsession with human anatomy and dissection, an interest in the technologies of torture, the cult of physical culture, and an expert knowledge of biblical criticism, Moore explains the male narcissism at the heart of the biblical God. God's Gym is an intensely personal book, brimming with our culture's phobias and fascinations about male perfectability."
CC, JSM
Hubris is the default mode of the desert G_d of Moses:
Jealousy and vengeance are strongly associated with hubris, acting as emotional drivers or consequences of the excessive pride, arrogance, and overconfidence that define it. While hubris represents a dangerous, exaggerated self-belief that often challenges higher norms, jealousy can be a manifestation of this insecure superiority, and vengeance is the destructive action taken to protect that ego.
"Imagine a true God skating extravagantly to the sound of his own voice..."
A true God wouldn't be wearing white skates.
I looked up Stephen Moore’s bio:
“His work heavily engages with queer theory, masculinity studies, homoeroticism in biblical texts, and gender/sexuality critiques—books like God’s Gym (1996) and especially God’s Beauty Parlor: And Other Queer Spaces in and Around the Bible (2001) explore themes of male bodies, divine masculinity, queer readings of scripture (e.g., homoerotic elements in the Song of Songs, Jesus iconography, Romans), and even personal reflections on cultural phobias/fascinations around male perfection. He’s a leading figure in applying queer theory to biblical scholarship, often ‘queering’ traditional interpretations.”
Iliya’s talent and training are eclipsed by his narcissism. That recorded voice track of his, ouch, super cringe. And then the QuadGod t shirt… he lost me. I am rooting for Almighty God to demonstrate to young Iliya that he is not He.
I saw an interview with him. He changed his Instagram handle to Quad God at 15 when he perfected his first 2 quad jumps. His friends said he couldn’t call himself a quad God with just 2 quad jumps. That motivated him to perfect all 6 quad jumps. He’s 21 years old and has a really good reputation. Too much pressure for a young man to handle. And a brilliant skater. He’ll be back because he really is the quad God.
quad god
god puppetry
When I do a lot of squat reps I am the quad god.
Or at least a minor quad deity.
If we are to believe half of the Ten Commandments, good old Yahweh had issues with self-esteem. And then there was that ugly episode with Abraham and Isaac. Had he been drinking?
I for one am not bad-mouthing any gods. I love and respect you all.
I don’t like the back flips Malinin does. I kind of wish they would ban those again. Extremely dangerous, not particularly graceful even when he does them. They take away from the performance.
I asked Grok about this. Although risky, historically injuries from the back flip are rare. “Pairs has the worst historical accidents: skull fractures, lost fingers from blades, severe concussions, paralysis risks, and partner skate hits to the face/head.” Yikes.
That Abraham/Isaac event was a clear message. "I will never tell you to kill your child. Never."
“That Abraham/Isaac event was a clear message. "I will never tell you to kill your child. Never."”
Umm…then what was that Abraham/Isaac “event”?
I watched this competition and Malinin left the kiss and cry and immediately walked up to Shaidorov and congratulated him with so much grace and good sportsmanship. Whatever else I think about his IG handle, I will not forget that he is a gracious loser.
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