Now, I clicked on that link because the headline bugged me. I keep seeing these sudden-collapse headlines. Articles are always offering to pinpoint the moment when things changed. There's one on the front page of The London Times right now: "The moment Landman’s teenage blonde changed American TV." It's annoying me. They think we're manipulable by our belief in the magic moment.
But I'm blogging because of the mattress, the "terrifically expensive mattress." I think I've blogged about that mattress: "[T]he most preposterously priced mattress, a king-size Grande Vivius, costs $539,000...." I've made a new tag, "mattress," and added it retrospectively, which is a much bigger task than you might think. There are so many posts about someone known as "mattress girl" and I've repeatedly blogged about the line "it balances on your head just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine."
But really, if you were the stay-at-home wife to a rich man, would the purchase of a terrifically expensive mattress make you think he is more likely to stay or less likely to stay? He might want to cushion your fall, to pacify and lull you. What is the meaning of a mattress?
AND: Maybe the mattress was the tipping point. That mattress was exactly what made him see that the life they'd formed together was her vision of the good, and he couldn't relate to it at all. She wanted grand material things and he didn't want any of it. You don't need me, you have the mattress.
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78 comments:
Maybe Belle's mother was Babe Paley's daughter and her father (once a big hope in NYC politics) was related to the Vanderbilts, and maybe after the divorce her mom married another rich man, but it would be a waste of time to check up on that, especially since sultry, sulky Emma Sulkowitz has come back to us.
Hey there, Mattress Girl,
Mattress Girl,
Give your love to me ...
Yep, mattresses are not cheap! We got a new California King-sized one a couple of years ago. $2-3K ... I can't remember exactly.
I was looking up giant-sized mattresses a few weeks back because of a post here, the one about the vanilla-box condo, LOL.
Maybe a mattress is symbolic of everything positive she brought to the marriage. Until SUDDENLY it was not.
How AWFL for her.
I also wondered if it was that super-expensive mattress.
She was thinking of The Drifters and he had something else on his mind.
This magic moment
So different and so new
Was like any other
Until I kissed you
And then it happened
It took me by surprise
I knew that you felt it too
By the look in your eyes
[Chorus]
Sweeter than wine
Softer than the summer night
Everything I want I have
Whenever I hold you tight
Going back to add the mattress tag, I found the old post about the time we checked out the Hästens mattresses at our local furniture store. I was ready to spend a hefty amount of money but we hadn't searched out the price tag yet. I said I'd be willing to spend $4000, but not $10,000. Turned out it was $40,000. Well, I'd paid that much for a car. Isn't the quality of your mattress more important?
We spent $7,000 for each of our Duxiana mattresses. What a waste of money! Oh well.
I haven’t thought about mattress girl in ages. $100 says she’s married with children in an upscale (e.g., Westchester) suburban neighborhood.
If my spouse spent half a million on a mattress, I’d be too shocked at her irresponsibility with money to think about what it says about her dedication to our marriage.
"adding it retrospectively, which is a much bigger task than you might think. "
Actually, I would have pegged it as impossible.
This was in the 1980s. Had a friend who owned an auto parts store. Doing well financially. Unbeknownst to him his wife went out and bought a Persian rung and put it in the entryway. He comes home and sees it. She says what do you think? He sits down on it and says, How much did it cost? She answers, $25,000. He remains sitting. She says what are you doing? He replies, for $25 K this thing better fly. If not call them to pick it up. They ended up getting divorced soon thereafter.
With mattresses as with yachts, if you have to ask you can't afford it.
A full flotation waterbed mattress is still the best one to get sleep on.
There's no mystery: She got fat.
The thing about women is that they get fat, but there's a thin, younger one coming right up behind ya'll and you never see her coming.
The only guys who buy oversized mattresses want room to get away from her. Thin girls you want to cuddle with. Fat girls (and guys for that matter) even have a smell about them that is repulsive.
Big mattress = He's fucking someone hotter than you.
I had a furnace "puff-back" property damage case in which the couple claimed as an element of damages a $90,000 mattress. They had the receipt.
I believe Hemingway questioned the premise that the rich are different from you and me. I think Hemingway was incorrect.
Belle Burden?? This whole story sounds fake.
A good mattress is important, but about $475,000 is the most I could go. Anything more than that is silly.
Was it a straw mattress? Maybe the mattress was the last straw.
Green Acres is the place to be, straw ticking is the bed for me.
I see some preposterous prices for furniture and Persian rugs, but I guess the rationale behind them is that if you live long enough they become antiques and more valuable. I'm not sure but I don't think it's possible for a mattress to increase in value with age. Maybe Shakespeare's second best bed would fetch a few bucks, but I can't think of any others. Or maybe the used beds of celebs might be worth something. Maybe Paltrow could sell her used Goop mattress and certify that she planked Brad Pitt on it. I bet there'd be a market for that.
Ann Althouse said...
Going back to add the mattress tag...
Good thing you did! You're not supposed to take those things off!
A mattress stuffed with $100 bills doesn't sound comfortable.
In NYC, Bloomingdale's is right across the street from Home Depot. The other day, I went to Home Depot to buy some rat poison cheap and went across the street to Bloomingdale's to see what the other half consumes. Did you know that you can buy a T-shirt at Bloomingdale's for three hundred dollars. It's a very nice t-shirt. but that does seem a bit pricey for a t-shirt. Are some things super expensive just for the sake of being super expensive?
NorthOfEtc., that made me literally snort with laughter!
Hunger is the best sauce and a hard day's work is the best mattress.
"Are some things super expensive just for the sake of being super expensive?"
As long as there are varying IQs and lotteries there will always be $300 T-shirts to fill that niche of idiot.
We have a waterbed. I've never priced the water, but it ain't much.
It's a pretty short book review, but what I find interesting is right there at the end:
"A headline with an earlier version of this review misidentified the author of the book. It is Belle Burden, not her mother, Amanda Burden."
How does a newspaper reporter write a book review, and misidentify the author in the headline, and publish it? How does that happen? The NYT is a disgrace to reporting, every word it says, including 'and' and 'the'.
"Are some things super expensive just for the sake of being super expensive?"
There's a thing in Japan, at least there used to be, where you take a client out to a really expensive dinner. The more expensive the better, and you make sure the client sees the bill.
I was talking to a businessman on a flight home from Japan who had been the guest at one of those dinners. My thought was, 'man, I want to own one of those restaurants'.
Weird connection. I think that this makes her a niece or something of one of my fraternity brothers, a year ahead of me.
Way back when, I read a book titled “The Rich and the Superrich”. The author w ent around the country, and listed the three or four old money richest. For Long Island, it was the Vanderbilts, Rosevelts, and the Burdens. And that generation of Burdens also had Vanderbilt blood. Turns out that author’s son was the best friend of my insurance agent’s wife, and was a client of mine at one point.
And the guy living down the hall my sophomore was one of those Burdens, younger brother to the politician mentioned above. He was just a normal guy. No one figured out that he was any different from anyone else, until they overheard a conversation (we had one phone for the entire fraternity house) of his with a brother figuring out how to buy a plane. Not something most sophomores do. His tastes weren’t that outrageous- for example he drove an MGBGT, and not high end BMWs like some of my brother’s fraternity brothers did.
Then, that class in our fraternity was invited back to Long Island for his wedding. And they each got a private suite for their visit. Maybe ten of them. Each of them with their living, bed, and bathroom suite. That was 1972, because the girl he married was in my class. She was also Long Island royalty. When they met in college, apparently she didn’t remember him from her Coming Out, but he remembered her.
For sale. King mattress. Used once.
“What is the meaning of a mattress?”
Not much unless you carry it around everywhere.
The mattress was so beautiful, when she laid on it she looked shabby.
The next he tells her, his eyes narrowing into a shape she had never seen before: 'I thought I was happy but I’m not. I thought I wanted our life but I don’t.'
Women do this. Shouldn't men be able to, too? You know- because equality?
Beatnik: "Madison Avenue?... Perpetuating the lie. How do you sleep at night?"
Don: "On a bed made of money."
James asks for a divorce at dawn the day after she learns of an affair.
It seems like news of the husband's affair was the tipping point for the divorce.
Back when I was teaching Farm Business Management, a common question was "How do farms go bankrupt?"
I responded "The details vary, but the general rule is "Slowly, then all at once."
Personal relationships usually follow the same pattern.
We have a Hästens. Not the six figure one but disturbingly expensive nonetheless. Worth every penny. Like floating in space…
The Grand Vividus uses horse hair in its construction. It's premium grade, extra-long horse hair, but it didn't matter how primo the horse hair was after her husband found out from an anonymous internet poster on X that Jesus hates horses.
He left her and became a monk.
I recall reading that Drake, the rapper(?), has one of those half-million dollar mattresses.
Every mattress salesman says the same thing -- "You spend 1/3 of your life on a mattress, so it's worth it to spend XXX dollars." I really can't tell the difference between the terrible, cheap stuff and the super expensive mattresses. It takes me 5 or so minutes to fall asleep on either one.
Things didn't change. The husband made a decision to be an asshole and abandon his wife. This was not a natural disaster or an act of God. It was a man being a contemptible POS.
Belle's problems started when she ripped the "Do Not Remove This Tag Under Penalty of Law" label from the mattress.
Spiros said...
I really can't tell the difference between the terrible, cheap stuff and the super expensive mattresses. It takes me 5 or so minutes to fall asleep on either one.
You should focus on the waking up part to tell how good the mattress is.
Original Mike said...
We have a waterbed. I've never priced the water, but it ain't much.
1/17/26, 2:22 PM
After 35 years. hubby and I finally got rid of our waterbed mattress for twin adjustable bed mattresses that massage you. I still miss our original wavey waterbed...the one we had last was waveless...and pretty much just a regular bed.
Rich guy just going through the motions. The mattress was just background noise to him. That, and the fact that she didn't know that, says a lot about them.
Of course I didn't read the article so I could be completely wrong.
Can you get financing on one of those?
If her initial response was to contact the NYT, he was probably right to dump her.
Belle Burden and her trust funds were financing their rich lifestyle —the $7.5 million Martha’s Vineyard summer house and the $19 million NYC condo and the very expensive mattress. At a certain point the pull of $$$ is not enough to keep a marriage intact—especially when the husband is finally a successful hedge fund partner, her $$$ no longer looks so attractive.
I read about this a while ago and my memory is that she found out about infidelity from hubby of his mistress. He almost imnediately decided he was moving out. The mattress purchase timing was a coincidence. What really floored her was that he quit on 2 kids as well. They met as white shoe law firm associates together but she stopped working on marrying.
Reading the article I see her husband as a fellow whom Tom Wolfe might have wanted to investigate as a character. I get a "Man in Full" vibe (extreme simplification of life,
with "Bonfire" enhancements (the mistress).
Is she a "social x-ray"? Another Tom Wolfe category.
We need another Tom Wolfe, badly.
Buwaya,
We do have another Tom Wolfe, his name is Kurt Schlichter.
Mattress Girl married a Couch and they have one child, Divan. They currently reside in Davenport, Iowa.
Wolfe had a way of lulling people into revealing themselves
Like bernsteins dinner party the bankers and city officials that were the research of bonfire
There seems to be a bit of hostility that you direct at Burden because of her wealth. Instead, all readers – men and women – should be grateful for her courage in sharing a private-but-searing experience that has befallen others.
There is nothing as soul shattering and identity crushing as being unceremoniously discarded. It feels as though you will never be able to trust your own judgment again. She is strong to reveal an experience so private and painful.
When miami came under the microscope ss aflanta and ny before them i knew the portrait was going to scathing
Seems the rich wives are often at the precipe of their wealthy husband ditching them for a newer model. My sister rearranged her face by plastic surgery, lost 40 pounds, hired a fashionable interior decorator lauded in local Chicago magazines, and quit her law partnership when her husband landed as partner in a local hedge-fund. Same girl inside, but don't recognize her from before. At all. He nonetheless had at least one "walkabout", tried to be a grey-haired hipster, moved to Europe for business, before he finally returned home. Once much talk about divorce, now amicable roommates.
Miami has a more diverse set of communities the latino the african american and haitian creole thats where he focused his attention
A fabulously rich man who buys a $500,000 mattress is bored.
What price for bed from Russian hotel hidden away by Trump/ Putin
The mistress killed her self and shes verklempt
Belle thought her wealth and social lineage protected her from a husband with a wandering eye. Henry Patterson Davis wanted what his heart wanted—a tale as old as time or at least as old as Woody Allen.
So what was it — the mattress or the mistress? I like the answer mattress. It’s more interesting.
I’d have to see the mistress before agreeing with that.
Did he get to keep the mattress?
I just don't understand why rich guys get married. It reminds me of that old commercial for bug spray where the guy puts his arm in the box full of mosquitos, and they all land on his arm and start sucking his blood. Then he tells them he's broke, and not one bite.
Some people were made to GET rich, and some were made to BE rich. I'm lousy at being rich. I'm cheap. I'm dirty. I don't have fancy things. I work a lot, and only have one woman. It's a form of retardation, and a failure of imagination.
By NYTs rules this story has to have a happy ending for Bella, where she gets her dignity back and has wild successes, that being in her marriage, held her back from. There must be a part 2.
A brief history of the value of used mattresses is interesting- or boring- depending on your viewpoint.
I have documented on my Ancestry family tree records several will from the 1700 and early 1800s where a mattress (or mattresses!) were specifically willed to specific surviving family members.
It's impossible to even give away a mattress today. We downsized our bed collection- since it's now just two or us in a 5 bedroom house. Had perfectly good king size and twin size <10 year old memory foam mattresses and posted on Facebook that fact and they were free to anyone who wanted them. Had to pay out good money to our garbage company to haul them away since we missed big trash day at the town garage this year and didn't want them hanging around.
She'd been complaining for years that their upper middle class Dux mattresses caused back pains and muscle aches to the point she could no longer enjoy sex. He bought her the Bentley of mattresses and she still wouldn't fuck him. You can tell by her pinched, irritated countenance that she is the character from The princess and the Pea.
“There seems to be a bit of hostility that you direct at Burden because of her wealth.”
I’m not seeing that here. But I wonder why the NYT isn’t expressing lots of hostility because of her wealth. Why write about rich people, unless to decry their filthy, in this case, inherited, lucre? The NYT hates rich people, right?
My wife ended her brilliant career selling rugs and furniture, including beds and mattresses, at Macy's. I think they topped out at 10 or 12k (and she never sold one of those).
She said that a lot of black buyers wanted to see Stearnes and Foster products first--that company apparently treated their black employees equally, even before the law required them to do so, and people remembered.
Mattresses are associated with sex and marriage. Also with money. The mattress and the wall were the places misers who didn't trust banks kept their money. Mattress girl seems like her generation's version of the evangelist who used to show up on college campuses carrying an enormous wooden cross. Sexual encounters as the modern world's Stations of the Cross and continual martyrdom? Is there also a bit of Farrah Fawcett's "The Burning Bed" in Emma Sulkowicz's performances? Or of Tracey Emin putting her mattress on display at the Tate Gallery? Emma did regard her mattress-lugging as a piece of performance art: "Mattress Performance (Carry that Weight)." And what are we to make of the fact that her parents are both psychoanalysts, her father being "one of the most sought after psychoanalysts in the world." Is the bed she was carrying actually Freud's famous couch, or is a mattress sometimes just a cigar?
This happened to my rather difficult cousin, living the Colorado dream life, horses, two lively daughters, she with a high paced job, he as a college professor, and one day in the kitchen he says “I can’t do this anymore” and walks out. Like an earthquake, the world is changed.
Not much mystery that the relationship ended after he had an affair and no mention of counseling. The underlying malady described here, “she and James, by her account, never discussed who would work and who would take care of the kids; it was an unspoken bargain.” They didn’t communicated about the most important aspects of their relationship.
In other words it was a very traditional marriage, although an engagement of comparable co-workers. I doubt my parents, married their entire adult lives from 1 year after college graduation, discussed the division between career and raising children until youngest of 6 was at some point in grade school. I understand the cheater made counseling out of question and shocked her by wanting zero custody. As she noted it, he moved out at once to an apartment with only 1 bedroom.
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