June 22, 2022

"[T]he most preposterously priced mattress, a king-size Grande Vivius, costs $539,000...."

"When Drake bought one, in 2020, it was merely $400,000. For non-Grammy winners, there’s a waiting list. Handcrafted by a team of artisans in Sweden, each mattress takes up to six hundred hours to assemble and stitch and is wrapped in checked cotton ticking....  Gwyneth Paltrow partnered with Avocado on the Goop x Avocado mattress... which starts at $24,000 and is available on demand.... While I waited for the couple chilling out on the Eco Organic model to move on, I asked a sales associate named Desi (long hair, leggings) if customers ever fall asleep. 'All the time,' she said. 'The longest was four and a half hours. He was so embarrassed that he bought the mattress.'... The Casper Nova Hybrid ($2,295) is awfully cozy, and I also like the Casper Original, both the all-foam ($1,295) and the hybrid foam with springs ($1,695). Staring at the ceiling in Bloomingdale’s, listening to the Four Seasons sing 'Oh, what a night' over the sound system, I wanted to answer 'Both' to the salesperson’s question: Which is more comfortable? Some of this confusion is deliberate....  Amid all the shadiness and hyped marketing, how to choose?"

28 comments:

Jersey Fled said...

Conspicuous consumption

SoLastMillennium said...

Question: How to tell if you have too much money?

Answer: Buy a $539,000 king-size mattress.

So how many here have a nice house that is less than $539K?

Heartless Aztec said...

We have long surmised that all the mattress stores across the US are fronts for money laundering. Sometimes you'll have duelling mattress stores at an intersection ala Walgreens and CVS. How many mattresses does a person through in a life time? Money laundering is our bet.

Randomizer said...

That read like the most preposterous article or as if Ms. Marx became frustrated attempting to buy a mattress, so leveraged her vexation into a New Yorker article.

I have a Masters's degree in mechanical engineering and have taught chemistry. When I needed to buy a mattress, I went to IKEA and bought one. It wasn't difficult for me, so maybe she's correct. It just isn't obvious how my ability to use Jacobian matrices to solve systems of equations enhanced my process of laying down on mattresses until I found one I liked.

My scientific background may have enhanced my appreciation of how IKEA had a whole mattress vacuum sealed into a fairly small cylinder.

Krumhorn said...

Drake substantially overpaid. For 1% of that amount, he could buy an outstanding Sleep Number CA King mattress that lets you raise up the head of each side and raise up the foot of the bed for tv or reading or ….whatever. And each side independently controls the firmness. My Sleep Number is 95. My lovely wife sets her side at 45. Which is too bad since I spend a lot time on her side.

- Krumhorn

Tom T. said...

Cue all the commenters who say they inherited their parents' mattress in 1977 and are still sleeping on it today.

Joe Smith said...

Aren't these mattress dealers, the ones on every street corner, supposed to be fronts for Russian mob money laundering?

That's what I heard...

Enigma said...

Weird framing of the ultra premium market. Almost everyone wants a "soft on the top, firm underneath" mattress. Too hard causes hot spots and pain, too soft causes a bad back and pain. There are 50 ways to get ro soft-but-firm, and if you sleep well then you've found a good one. Air, foam, and springs are good, good, and good.

Super expensive stuff non-functional improvements are always about exclusivity and showing off to others. There are failed technology efforts that cost a lot and don't result in real benefits, but mattresses don't fit that mold. Solid gold toilets don't fit that mold. Technology items such as watches, cars, computers, etc. do fit that mold.

Balfegor said...

Re: Tom T.

Cue all the commenters who say they inherited their parents' mattress in 1977 and are still sleeping on it today.

Alas, my mother has a strong preference for soft, fluffy mattresses, while my preference is for hard mattresses, so I won't be using their mattresses any time soon. My grandmother, though, likes her mattresses ever harder than I do, so if it weren't for the fact that her mattresses are in Korea, I could well imagine taking hers someday. Perhaps if I buy a condo or an officetel in Seoul.

mikee said...

And we haven't even mentioned the sleep quality of a night on the sofa, by free choice or upon exile from the bedroom. Or hammocks, porch swings, sleeping bags, and just dropping unconscious in public. All valid options deserving full consideration by the NYTM.

Dave said...

I admire Paltrow's genius. She is an amazing woman.

Yeah Right Sure said...

I wonder if all the scolds who tut-tutted Musk and Bezos for spending their own money for space travel will attempt to shame these celebrities for such extravagant spending.

Can Of Cheese for Hunter said...

I spilled some green tea all over my memory... foam. does that count?

Howard said...

The Princess and the Pea

wendybar said...

I was a mattress shop in Brick New Jersey (next door to Point Pleasant Beach) one time to get an extra mattress for our pull out couch. Who walks in, but James Gandolfini himself....He was there to help his sister who lives in Brick buy a new mattress. The kid manning the counter immediately left me, and RAN to help Tony Soprano. Mafia connections??

Howard said...

Does anyone think the water bed is gonna make a comeback? Celebrities could fill them with Evian water or the tears of a transgender teen denied reassignment surgery.

walter said...

"I asked a sales associate named Desi (long hair, leggings)"
Looks for writer..
Yep, woman.

typingtalker said...

Investopedia tells us, "The greater fool theory argues that prices go up because people are able to sell overpriced securities to a "greater fool," whether or not they are overvalued. That is, of course, until there are no greater fools left."

The even-greater-fool theory tells us that nobody is going to pay anyone, no matter how famous, more for a used over-priced matress than for a new one ... unless there is a competitive market for dried secretions.

The stories the DNA could tell ...

Lurker21 said...

Gwyneth Paltrow partnered with Avocado on the Goop x Avocado mattress

If you heard it was actually made of avocados would you be completely surprised?

Jefferson's Revenge said...

I had a water bed about 45 years ago. It was great. It had a heater so you could turn the heater off in the summer and stay reasonably cool without AC and turn it on in the winter and stay toasty.

It also helped my love life. Well, that and my coke spoon necklace. I couldn't afford coke but the spoon implied that I could. Does that make me a bad person?

Aggie said...

WE had a 10+ year old pillow-top that was premium when new but driving me crazy with its over-softness. After researching when the big sale events normally happen (Memorial and Labor day is often 30% off, smaller ones on July 4th and New Years) we popped for a firm Brooklyn Bedding mattress-in-a-box. It has been superb. It advertises a cooling-top feature which has made a difference for us. And although it's their firmest mattress, it is not overly-so.

The downside to the internet mattress world is that there are very few (if any) showrooms to go test-drive one. And a lot of the online information and survey material (if not most of it) is heavily biased in favor of one or two manufacturers, so you have to devote a little time toward getting a bigger picture - and getting some word-of-mouth input is also a good idea. Our daughter liked ours so much, they now have one just like it.

Rollo said...

Is there a $500,000 king-size Grande Mortius that I could be buried in?

Geoff Matthews said...

Intelibed makes a heck of a mattress. Love mine.

Fred Drinkwater said...

As it happens, I spent an hour or so in a mattress store Tuesday afternoon. We are shipping our son off to new digs in Bellvue WA, and he needs something. Our own current bed is a 15? Year old pillow top that I've never liked.
Tried out maybe a dozen and found two good ones between 1500 and 2500. Tried the "Purple" brand gell-top, and hated them. Sales guy says they aren't selling even at half off. 3-5K list price.

But. The whole time, we (and the sales guy) were the only ones there. To be fair, he was also on the phone arranging a delivery.
Gee, do you think maybe it was pallets of cash, and not some Tempurpedics?

tim in vermont said...

Keep printing money.

Wince said...

[T]he most preposterously priced mattress...

Oh, so that would be one of those new fangled Preposter-Pedic mattresses?

realestateacct said...

My general rule of thumb is that things that cost more than twice the median price are not worth it.

Master Diver said...

I sleep in my recliner chair (which I share with 2 cats). Started when I was recovering from shoulder surgery, and found it eased my acid reflux, and GREATLY reduced my snoring (or so the Spousal Unit reports).