May 29, 2024

"Most hair-raising of all, is the boymom a nightmare of toxic narcissism and internalized misogyny who sees her son as a crypto-romantic interest..."

"... and other girls and women—even her own daughters—as her nemeses?... [O]ne wrote of the moment that 'you realize [you’re] gonna have to share the love of your life (my baby boy) with another female one day'..."

Writes Jessica Winter, in "The Trials and Tribulations of the Boymom/A new book encapsulates the zero-sum thinking that affects much of contemporary parenting discourse" (The New Yorker).

About that book — 'BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity' [commission earned]... we're told the author Ruth Whippman "gave birth to her youngest in 2017, the year that Donald Trump took office and the first avalanche of #MeToo revelations broke":
"I was truly scared to be a mother of boys," she recalls. "Everywhere I turned there were bad men. I was frightened both for and of the tiny piece of patriarchy growing inside me, worried sick over what he and his brothers might become. The potential for darkness that I might be powerless to stop.” Her “pregnant brain,” she writes, “churned out a ticker tape of bad outcomes for my unborn boy: rapist, school-shooter, incel, man-child.” The list continues. Reflecting on how her seven- and four-year-old sons roughhouse at home, she feels “the cold dread that it will be a straight line from this grade-school house of horrors to pussy grabbing and school shooting.” She discloses that “every time I saw a little girl in a ‘THE FUTURE IS FEMALE’ T-shirt, I felt a secret, shameful stab. What did this mean for my boys?”

Yikes. 

58 comments:

mccullough said...

“Toxic narcissism.” Both words are overused. Combining them doesn’t ameliorate that.

Misogynists hate their moms.

She’s incubating what she claims to fear. She actually hates women herself.

tim maguire said...

She seems like a disturbed person who needs help. For the sake of her children, I hope she gets it.

Aggie said...

"I was frightened both for and of the tiny piece of patriarchy growing inside me, worried sick over what he and his brothers might become. The potential for darkness that I might be powerless to stop.”

Powerless how, exactly? This has all the appearance of a woman that's been devoting her life to watching soap operas. I'm betting she would be unable to articulate or describe her 'powerlessness'.

M said...

This woman should not be allowed near kids, even her own. What a nightmare for a boy to be raised by someone like this. She is the kind of woman who CREATES women haters.

RideSpaceMountain said...

It never ceases to amaze how much subconscious malevolence exists in feminism. Everyone focuses on the man-hating when they really should focus on the subtleties of how stuff lie this is intended more to tear other women down. Women really do hate other women and want to control how they live their lives and how they run their families, never doubt that for a second, especially when it comes to children.

n.n said...

The ethic of the story is: Momma, don't let your fetus evolve to become a psychotic liberal with a matriarchal orientation. #HateLovesAbortion

Enigma said...

Just a bunch of frivolous overthinking that obscures biological imperatives. Evolutionary history is filled with failed and extinct experiments. Feminism circa 2024 has all the earmarks of rotting and failed experiment.

When you destroy a functional reproductive method (i.e., male/female symbiotic evolution for many millions of years), you must replace it within one generation or you will die off. Breed or die. Joining a harem works too. Go back to the future.

Watch Logan's Run, Zardoz, and A Boy and His Dog. Then breed or die. Your choice.

Iman said...

These nitwits are a hoot!

jaydub said...

2017 huh? Obviously a completely rational reaction to DJT's arrival on the scene - he even ruins the relationship between a mother and her baby boy! BTW, did Bobby De Niro forget all about this yesterday and is it too late to get this crime added to Alvin Braggs indictable felonies?

n.n said...

She actually hates women herself.

She may actually hate herself. A prime candidate for transgender conversion therapy. Ode to an Obelisk free of the "burden".

Feminists are from Venus. Masculinists are from Mars. Social progressives are from Uranus. Misogynists are transplanetary, although a minority on Earth.

Ann Althouse said...

I gave birth to a boy the year Ronald Reagan took office. It had absolutely no effect on my thinking about the child.

stlcdr said...

It's all about Trump and their hatred for him.

robother said...

Both the reviewer and the author seem to working toward the only acceptable solution for a boy mom from Berkeley (or Brooklyn): make your son trans. "Yikes", indeed.

PM said...

Q: "How do we raise our sons to have a healthy sense of self without turning them into privileged assholes?"

A: Play catch with your sons. It diminishes the difference btw men and women.

mikee said...

My daughter told me, over a year in advance, that she was going away to college. I wailed aloud in fatherly anguish at the upcoming loss of her presence, amusing her greatly.

She continued to tell me every few days for the next year that she was leaving home to attend college in a year, in 11 months, in 6 months, 60 days, 30 days, in a week, four days, 3, 2, 1, and each time I would scream aloud in anguish, amusing her greatly.

But it is a good thing she did that, because the day we moved her into her dorm I didn't scream in anguish at my loss of her presence. I congratulated her on her independence from me, which she had earned as she matured.

My wife had no similar issues separating from our son when he went to college. One of the reasons I worked so hard to marry her is her rationality, sanity, decency and maturity. Marry a kook and you are guaranteed to get kookiness like that described in the post.

traditionalguy said...

Query: what does a dedicated boy-mom do with her second boy born into the family? No way they fit in.

And as for toxic narcissists, they are the real ones. Calling self centered people narcissists is a popular confusion.

But life is good and we can all thank God we were born on earth.

n.n said...

Incest is a sexual orientation. Under Democratic law, sexual orientations cannot be discriminated. The New Yorker should curb its privilege.

roger said...

No, this is not narcissism. This is full-blown neurosis

Ice Nine said...

>Whippman, who has three sons,...<

Those poor boys...of yet another ding dong lefty mother. Three soy boys, comin' right up. With a minimum of one tranny, for sure.

Freeman Hunt said...

Sheesh. At first, I was going to comment that I agreed son-as-boyfriend rhetoric is creepy and gross. Then the completely insane quote made that stuff look tame.

Neuroses abound in pieces that get published.

Freeman Hunt said...

I've never thought of my sons in relation to any politician.

MadTownGuy said...

"...the year that Donald Trump took office and the first avalanche of #MeToo revelations broke..."

MeToo was all about 'Get Trump.' But it made Ruth Whippman (was there ever a more descriptive surname?) obsess about how her own son represented the patriarchy? Is there anything DJT can't do?

Oligonicella said...

Enigma:
Feminism circa 2024 has all the earmarks of rotting and failed experiment.

Way back towards the beginning of this blog a query was posted: How do you define feminism?

I answered "Obsolete".

This crap is what you get when something obsolete doesn't go extinct but festers on.

Jersey Fled said...

My God. Who reads this trash?

(Ann gets a pass because she has to)

Howard said...

Mental illness propped up by believing that popular social media culture are significant population percentages. This is how the extreme nutbars on both ends of the speculum dilute themselves into thinking they represent a majority of normal people.

Oligonicella said...

traditionalguy:
But life is good and we can all thank God we were born on earth.

As opposed to the cold, hard vacuum of the asteroid belt.

The Vault Dweller said...

The is an unfortunate possible outcome of people who are steeped in group identity politics. Instead of focusing on principles of fairness and right and wrong, everything becomes a power struggle over relative advantages and disadvantages of each group. Instead of your son just being your son, he becomes a member of THEM, the males. This mentality permeates the left. The other day I heard parts of an NPR story in the car. The premise of the story was that the US military's new suicide prevention tools which were implementing AI were biased against Women and not helping them as much a they should. This is despite the fact that while the US military is roughly 80%/20% Men and Women, 97% of all suicides are men. Everything has to be viewed as how to best promote the interests of 'Your Team.'

loudogblog said...

Some people should not be parents.

Stoutcat said...

Do these unfortunate kids have a boydad, too? Or are they stuck with Ruth all by her toxic self?

BG said...

I gave birth to a boy the year Ronald Reagan took office. It had absolutely no effect on my thinking about the child.

I also gave birth to a boy when Reagan was president. All I felt was relief at finally getting that "bowling ball" out of my body. I never gave a thought about Reagan.

Heartless Aztec said...

Those poor boys...

One query - the mother is a NYC resident?

NKP said...

A: Play catch with your sons. It diminishes the difference btw men and women.

Congrats if you have a Mom who can throw a ball in the vicinity of the intended target from a distance of over five or six feet.

Apologies to the French teacher who nailed me in the head with a piece of chalk from a good 20 feet away, all those years ago.

That act was accompanied by references, I think, to "excrement" and my "mental wattage". Hard to say, as her outburst was in an unfamiliar language.

Tina Trent said...

Emanations from the penumbra.

Gospace said...

"gave birth to her youngest in 2017, the year that Donald Trump took office and the first avalanche of #MeToo revelations broke"

Paula Jones- sued Bill Clinton 1994
Monica Lewinsky- classic definition of sexual harassment/abuse as taught in all sexual harassment classes- up until 1994 when she abused by- Bill Clinton
Juanita Broaddrick
Leslie Millwee
Kathleen Willey
and a bunch more I just found out about reading a wikipedia article on him
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Clinton_sexual_assault_and_misconduct_allegations

But yeah, everything is TRUMP's FAULT

And the Lion of the Senate left a woman he was having an affair with to drown when he drunkenly crashed a car while driving without a valid license. And who can forget 1985 when he and fellow DemoncRAT Chris Dodd came up with the recipe for a Waitress Sandwich?

But yeah, everything is TRUMP's FAULT

There have always been bad influences and bad influencers around. Heck, even in Mayberry. "In the Andy Griffith Show episode titled "Opie's Hobo Friend", Opie befriends a drifter named David Browne (Buddy Ebsen) who influences him in a negative way. The episode is the sixth episode of season two and aired on November 13, 1961

Good parenting isn't easy work.

I can just about guarantee that Avery Woods and Ruth Whipple are not doing good parenting.

Anthony said...

Guessing she has a very bruised forehead from running into things while constantly fixated on her own navel.

traditionalguy said...

My boys were born when tricky Dick was President. They were very sociable and got the best education money could buy. And neither one was used as pawns by mentally ill parent's. That is the big difference under discussion, not who was President. Except the extent that ending the War in Viet Nam meant their parents were still alive during their early twenties.

mccullough said...

Instead of “What’s Your Sign?” the new ice-breaker is “What President Where You Born Under?”

wild chicken said...

MeToo was all about 'Get Trump.

Yep. You'd think if he was such a horndog they'd have gotten something on him while in office. No Monica equivalent? With all the pretty women he had in the WH?

Trump's a piker.

victoria said...

Every mother I know of (especially) white either semi-adult or adult males has been whining for decades about how the world does not favor white men. Please. the world capitulated to white males for centuries. Now that women and people of color are reaching positions of responsibility, these same people are whining about "diversity" and "hiring because of diversity" hiring lhe less qualified. Bull. Bull Bull. When i was in management, way back in the '70's and 80's, it was almost unheard of to have a woman or a person off color in responsible positions. Those of us who worked hard and achieved status were accused of being a "diversity" hire. And this was 40 years ago. Today, the same inequities exist... still exist. I have a woman i am related to who is a lawyer, went to college, law school and practices law. in 2024 she is still mistaken for a court reporter of a secretary. And, when it is revealed that she, too, went to college and law school, the (mostly) white male respondents are surprised. This is 2024.... So if any of you neanderthals think that systematic sexism or racism doesn't exist today, you are ignorant of the world.


And... the whiny babies who believe that the rest of us believe that the "All Trump's fault" lament has any credence, you are ignorant idiots.

Sheesh indeed. i am sick and tired of people blaming thing that are a reality on TRS (Trump derangement synodrome) or any other balderdash like that deserve the trash they try to elect.

Vicki from Pasadena

victoria said...

Sorry, that just struck a nerve. Especially all the whining.

Vicki from Pasadena

PrimoStL said...

victoria said, "Sorry, that just struck a nerve. Especially all the whining."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Every mother I know of (especially) white either semi-adult or adult males has been whining for decades about how the world does not favor white men. Please. the world capitulated to white males for centuries. Now that women and people of color are reaching positions of responsibility, these same people are whining about "diversity" and "hiring because of diversity" hiring lhe less qualified. Bull. Bull Bull. When i was in management, way back in the '70's and 80's, it was almost unheard of to have a woman or a person off color in responsible positions. Those of us who worked hard and achieved status were accused of being a "diversity" hire. And this was 40 years ago. Today, the same inequities exist... still exist. I have a woman i am related to who is a lawyer, went to college, law school and practices law. in 2024 she is still mistaken for a court reporter of a secretary. And, when it is revealed that she, too, went to college and law school, the (mostly) white male respondents are surprised. This is 2024.... So if any of you neanderthals think that systematic sexism or racism doesn't exist today, you are ignorant of the world.

And... the whiny babies who believe that the rest of us believe that the "All Trump's fault" lament has any credence, you are ignorant idiots.

Sheesh indeed. i am sick and tired of people blaming thing that are a reality on TRS (Trump derangement synodrome) or any other balderdash like that deserve the trash they try to elect."


If you want whining, victoria will show you how it's done gosh darn it!

Iman said...

It’s the whining old lady from Pasadena

walter said...

There's also the female teachers waiting for his teen years so they can get their groove on with him.
At least her son is seemingly safe from Pedo Pete and his wandering soapy hands.

Iman said...

It's the whining old lady from Pasadena
The whining old lady from Pasadena
(Go granny, go granny, go granny, go)
Has a dozen little kittehs eating spoiled Purina
(Go granny, go granny, go granny, go)
And under her rickety, dank old pooter
There's a brand new shiny black Glashow scooter
And everybody's sayin' that there's nobody meaner than
The whining old lady from Pasadena
She talks real fast and she rides real hard
She's the terror of Colorado Boulevard
It's the whining old lady from Pasadena

Penguins loose said...

When i was in management, way back in the '70's and 80's, it was almost unheard of to have a woman or a person off color in responsible positions.

But you did have people of color if they were not off color, didn't you? So, in your experience, people of color were fine as long as they were of an acceptable hue, tint, tone or shade? This must have been a nightmare for HR: only accepting people of color if they fit the color shade chart. “Stand here sir. I am going to compare samples of various shades of color to yours in order to determine if your hue is permissible.” I would hate to have that job.

Iman said...

h/t Jan & Dean

NKP said...

Instead of “What’s Your Sign?” the new ice-breaker is “What President Where You Born Under?”

Ah... the new way of asking, "Who's your daddy?"

Howard said...

Vicki, Vicki, Vicki. I'm sorry sweetheart, you just don't understand The White Man's burden. Also, honey, you couldn't possibly comprehend the big myth of white male privilege. What can't realize is that among white men there is a very harsh pecking order. Physically, mentally and economically. Trump attracts the white man who are dominated by other white man their whole lives and so they never felt like they had any sort of privilege at all. Small, not necessarily in stature, petty marginalized boys. That's why they are terrified of women and minorities because they know they are weak and powerless and inept and afraid of real competition. Donald Lee Trump is the only thing holding up their limp egos.

Craig Mc said...

She should have stuck to owning cats.

walter said...

Howie gets hard for Pedo Pete and pulls his lever.
Semper Fudd!

Jim at said...

Sorry, that just struck a nerve. Especially all the whining.

So your response is to whine some more.
Got it.

Paul Doty said...

Sounds as though she would be envious of my mother. In 1964 she buried her two oldest sons. In 1975 she buried her husband and her next to youngest son. In 1989 she buried her youngest son. Now she's gone and I remain, the only flaw in this happy bit of patriarchy destruction. Fuck that insane, hateful bitch.

victoria said...

I don;t know, Paul Doty. Sounds like you were a mommy hater. Envious? Where did you, in you absolutely misguided mind, get that idea? Poor, pitiful man.

And i wasn't whining. I was just pissed off at the terminal whinyness of the white males and the parents
9mostly moms) of the white males saying they are being discriminated against.

DJT is the panacea for the defenseless while males? Heaven help us all is he is elected. I pray every day that he does not. the worst thing thing that could happen to us all.


Vicki from Pasadena

Tina Trent said...

Victoria:

What sort of person mocks a man relating how his mother buried four of her sons and her husband -- four of his brothers and his father? You call him envious, pitiful, and whiny? Because he objects to men being reduced to a visceral slur by some unhinged writer? Because he is defending the humanity of the five men he has lost in his own immediate family?

That can't have been an easy comment to write. You should apologize.




Paul Doty said...

Vicki, you unfortunate dullard, I can't imagine why you thought I was addressing you nor can I imagine why you think I hated my mother. Clearly, comprehension of any sort is well above your pay grade. Since you need it spelled out for you, I was referring to the author of the article in question. I see you enjoy being the center if attention, but it's not All about you. I know that's probably a shock, take all the time you need.

JES said...

Even crazy people can write books.

Gunner said...

Victoria: My law school was majority female 15 years ago and I don't think that has changed much nationwide. Anyone "surprised" that an attorney is a woman is probably out of touch with reality in more ways than one.

RMc said...

Her “pregnant brain,” she writes, “churned out a ticker tape of bad outcomes for my unborn boy: rapist, school-shooter, incel, man-child.”

How in God's name did this woman allow a man to impregnate in the first place? (Twice, yet...?!)