April 12, 2024

"I was initially startled in early 2020 when... a 16-year-old girl asked, 'How come boys all want to choke you?'"

"In a different class, a 15-year-old boy wanted to know, 'Why do girls all want to be choked?'... Another sophomore confided that she enjoyed being choked by her boyfriend, though it was important for a partner to be 'properly educated' — pressing on the sides of the neck, for example, rather than the trachea. (Note: There is no safe way to strangle someone.) A male freshman said 'girls expected' to be choked and, even though he didn’t want to do it, refusing would make him seem like a 'simp.' And a senior in high school was angry that her friends called her 'vanilla' when she complained that her boyfriend had choked her.... I’m not here to kink-shame (or anything-shame)...."

Writes Peggy Orenstein, in "The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex" (NYT).

58 comments:

Dude1394 said...

Wow, pornography and unlimited online access affects children. Well who knew, except prudish christians.

Yancey Ward said...

It is a common theme in today oceans of online pornography. It is a dangerous activity and something only a moron would allow done to them and only a moron would agree to do.

Aggie said...

"...said a partner had choked them during sex (one-third in their most recent encounter). The rate of those women who said they were between the ages 12 and 17 the first time that happened had shot up to 40 percent from one in four.
"


Porn culture according to this article, replacing Sex Ed, replacing parents.

Achilles said...

Kids don't spontaneously want to have choke sex in their early teens.

One of the great achievements of the The United States as a culture was to make pedophilia taboo.

Our nomenklatura is so utterly depraved. Our schools are run by groomers, pedophiles and devouring mothers who have removed fathers from children's lives and are feeding this over-sexualized shit to kids at inappropriate ages.

I recognize the pendulum effect in history and work to dampen it.

But there is a part of me that is going to cheer when this pendulum swings back and this filth is purged.

deepelemblues said...

Surely it has nothing to do with their exposure to all kinds of kinky stuff pushed on them in school by the authorities, including the portrayal that it is all widespread and totally normal, everyone does it, you should too! Which would never become a social status standard like teenagers do, to the utmost, with literally everything.

Bob Boyd said...

Most states don't let kids drink legally until they're 21. Kids find ways to do it anyway and it often leads to serious problems. But there would be a lot more serious problems if underage drinking wasn't restricted.
I think you could make the case that social media and smart phones are worse than alcohol for kids and teens.

Sebastian said...

'Why do girls all want to be choked?'

So they can sue the guy if they have regrets afterward.

Wa St Blogger said...

My first thought goes to social media mainstreaming things that would otherwise never have been contemplated. Think Tidepods. When a thing becomes a thing, people get all FOMO. They are probably engaging because they think everyone else is, and by their engagement, perpetuate what no one actually wants. Teaching your kids to keep their pants on, keeping them from having social media accounts and not giving them a phone until 16 is being responsible. Anything else might border on child abuse. But if you abandon your children for 12+ hours a day to a system that does not care about them, this is what one could expect to happen.

Enigma said...

Because "50 Shades of Grey" was an influential hit?
Because hardcore and extreme p0rn is widely available to all-ages on all phones?

Culture is indeed influenced by media. Teen dating has cartoonish and exaggerated and trend-driven views of the opposite sex. This isn't different from how pubescent girls tend to greatly exaggerate their 'assets' when their assets start to develop.

WK said...

“The Troubling Trend” articles seem Iike they are starting to become a weekly series at the NYT.

n.n said...

Boys all or all boys? Diversity.

Feminists are from Venus, masculinists are from Mars, social progressives are from Uranus.

RideSpaceMountain said...

How is this in any way surprising? The supposed cultural gatekeepers have been working overtime for 50+ years to suppress natural masculine and feminine heterosexuality in favor of the hideously perverse. Now that another generation is seeing what that hath wrought, how could anyone be surprised that when natural heterosexuality is looking appealing again a generation with zero guidance (its practically forbidden frankly) would take things too far?

Hollywood is fucking poison. Its homosexual Weimar culture perverts and pervades everything it touches. Nothing bad could happen to that town I wouldn't like.

Ice Nine said...

>"she enjoyed being choked by her boyfriend, though it was important for a partner to be “properly educated” — pressing on the sides of the neck, for example, rather than the trachea."<

Yeah, because a carotid stroke is so much better than a fractured larynx...

Mike (MJB Wolf) said...

China keeps feeding this crap to our kids through P0rn and TikTok and p0rn on TikTok.

tim maguire said...

I’m not here to kink-shame (or anything-shame)...."

I sense a "but" coming.

There's nothing new about people liking their sex a little rough, to mix in some violence. I've never met a woman who didn't have rape fantasies. (That's why women like men in uniforms--it implies physical strength and the capability for violence; there's a old observation that no woman ever fanaticized about being ravished by a hippie.)

That one girl may be mistaken about "safe choking," but she has the right idea about being careful who you let choke you. Not every woman is.

Milo Minderbinder said...

FAFO

Howard said...

Yeah let's take one isolated example of bullshit that kids write on forms and declare oh it's a troubling trend.

Pearl clucking logic

Dude1394 said...

“ Blogger Mike (MJB Wolf) said...
China keeps feeding this crap to our kids through P0rn and TikTok and p0rn on TikTok.”

Blaming this on China is a complete copout. Porn is driven by the US. Texas recently forced all pornography sites to require age verification. I do not know how stringent it is, but good for texas.

My grandkiddos have smart phones for security reasons. They have content/message blockers but I do not know how stringent they are.

Deep State Reformer said...

Hot take: White people problems in a fallen world. Try that stuff with most US-raised POCs and young Brandon will end up with a pencil jammed through his eye or a visit from from his erstwhile paramore's brother's and cousins IYKWIM.

Jersey Fled said...

We are living in the end times.

gilbar said...

Yet ANOTHER glowing report, about the Wonders of our education system..

gilbar said...

little girls are TOLD, that they are EXPECTED to be choked during sex.. We are TOLD, this is BAD!
little girls are TOLD, that they are EXPECTED to be having sax.. We are TOLD, this is GOOD!

OH! and IF a little girl DOESN'T want to have sex.. She is TOLD, that she MUST BE TRANS; and is sterilized

PM said...

Enigma: "Culture is indeed influenced by media."
Yes, but maybe too polite.
Culture is media.

John henry said...

50 Shades of Grey
Story of O
Beauty trilogy

What do these have in common?

All hardcore S&M fetish porn
All written by women
All predominently red by women

What was it that E. Jean Carroll said? Oh, yeah, "Rape is sexy"

John Henry

Marcus Bressler said...

One of my partners (the FWB) has asked (demanded?) I choke her during sex (which is different than causing her to gag during oral sex); she asked this _during_ the act, rather than before. I felt uncomfortable doing it as I am not very strong but que sera, sera. Since I had to revive her once several years back with CPR during an accidental OD, it seemed counter-productive to do something that might cause her to black out. I believe I would have to be enraged to do an effective job and I just could not get into it. I don't hate her. I do know about the carotid arteries. As someone else has pointed out, the marks left by choking might make it easier for a woman to accuse a sex partner of rape and battery and whatever else might apply. Thank goodness for Wyze cameras whose disks/cloud drives would back up my side of the story.

iowan2 said...

"The troubling trend in teenage sex"

An ever green headline.


I had an open conversation with my mother when we were on a short road trip, and she was in her 70's. We talked about sex. Not share personal experiences, but acknowledged our personal participation, with out getting into details.

Maybe it was her experience as a 22 year old 2cnd Lieutenant, Nurse in Europe WWII. Her exposure of Paris and London, maybe stretched her knowledge. But there was nothing Sexual she did not know about, and reading between the lines, gave a run at. All the kinks existed back then.
She stated that every teenager believes they invented "dirty" sex. But history proves them all wrong.

iowan2 said...

My grandkids have smart phones for security reasons. They have content/message blockers but I do not know how stringent they are.

Why do kids need a smart phone? Why not a flip phone? Serious Question. My grand kids all personal, school chrome books. What 'need' is addressed by a smart phone?

iowan2 said...

She is troubled about Teen girls and chocking?

What about the "how to" sex books in elementary school libraries? I'm guessing choking is in those books along with anal sex, blow jobs 3 somes and more somes. All of course tacitly accept 12 year olds engaging in all the "natural" aspects being human, with 30 year olds.

Lilly, a dog said...

This article reminds me of my freshman year in High School, when Oprah Winfrey sensationalized this kind of thing. One day my Latin II teacher was whispering to one of the seniors, describing an Oprah episode dealing with the epidemic of Auto-erotic Asphyxia. Many of us heard what she was whispering.

I raised my hand and asked, "What kind of rope should I use?" She clapped her hands over her mouth and said, "Oh my God, you little perverts better not try this!"

I only heard of it again two times in my life: the deaths of Michael Hutchence and David Carradine. But according to that Oprah show, it was sweeping the nation.

Dude1394 said...

Well one of them is diabetic and only an iPhone works with her glucose device. The other is probably convenience.

walter said...

"Another sophomore confided that she enjoyed being choked by her boyfriend, though it was important for a partner to be “properly educated” — pressing on the sides of the neck, for example, rather than the trachea. (Note: There is no safe way to strangle someone.) "
--
It's not choke choke.
Gotta teach 'em early..around 2nd grade.

Such a target rich topic for Mr. Spatula.

"Maybe it was her experience as a 22 year old 2cnd Lieutenant, Nurse in Europe WWII. Her exposure of Paris and London, maybe stretched her knowledge."
Ahem.

Joe Smith said...

Remember when you accidentally found your dad's Playboy magazine?

We're really far away from that...

Bruce Hayden said...

“Why do kids need a smart phone? Why not a flip phone? Serious Question. My grand kids all personal, school chrome books. What 'need' is addressed by a smart phone?”

Yes - but it’s getting harder and harder to find decent flip phones. AT&T has just one or two, and they aren’t that good. My partner’s sister and daughter convinced her to move to an iPhone. Big mistake. She doesn’t understand the side buttons, which means that weird apps are always getting launched. Plus hanging up is problematic, so often doesn’t get done. Most kids, of course, do better.

Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...

did this come from 50 shades of dumb sex?

ALP said...

Ah SHIT! There is a character (Cheryl Tunt) in the animated series "Archer" that has a choking fetish. The show made much humor out of it. Sigh. Wonder if they will cut those scenes from any broadcast or the DVD/Blueray?

tommyesq said...

It is only bad of the choking entity is a man. It is to be praised if it is a "woman" with a penis.

Freeman Hunt said...

As if "kink shaming" were bad.

Harun said...

My bet would this is NOT related to online sex, but a vestigial animal thing where humans want to be dominated, etc. or some weird feeling that asphyxiations brings (see david carradine)

It's something you could see chimps or gorilla doing.



Enlighten-NewJersey said...

I'm with Howard on this one. I can't believe this is a national trend with teens or adults.

Freeman Hunt said...

Well that article was horrifying.

Michael said...


The troubling trend in teenage sex

History repeats itself. Mid to late 90s there was this wave of teen girls casually performing oral on their male classmates. Remember Rainbow Parties? Turns out it was a thing. How big? No one ever researched, but it was happening. Go ask the 30-40 year olds you know. If not them, they had a classmate.

Wasn't reciprocated though. No boys eating puzzy. Men are so selfish.

M said...

Kids think porn is real. This is a real problem. Sad and sick. Kink shame more. Kink is mostly shameful, mostly about shame and disfunction.

Tom T. said...

By all accounts, teenagers are having less sex than ever. There's a ton of porn out there, but it actually seems to be inducing young people to leave each other alone.

Iman said...

WTF.

Iman said...

Howard said: “Yeah let's take one isolated example of bullshit that kids write on forms and declare oh it's a troubling trend.

Pearl clucking logic”

Keep choking that chicken, Howee!

Iman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scott Patton said...

Bill Burr has a short bit about it.

n.n said...

Hope and change brayed in the paper of record. Perhaps it will catch on.

MayBee said...

Did Mattress Girl want to be choked or just hit?

k said...

"I can't breathe!" How does all this factor into the George Floyd narrative? Or does it?

Joe Smith said...

'Mid to late 90s there was this wave of teen girls casually performing oral on their male classmates.'

Born too soon...damn!

Vittorio Jano IV said...

Achilles said...
"Kids don't spontaneously want to have choke sex in their early teens."

The term "choke" has a different meaning in Hawaiian Pidgin English!

Choke
Definition: a lot; a large amount in quantity
Used In A Sentence: You like one penny? No worries, I get choke!

Paul said...

Didn't that guy in NYC get convicted of choking his girlfriend to death during 'rough sex'?? You know Robert Chambers Jr.. the 'Preppy Killer'. That was back in 1986!!!

Not much has changed.

Blair said...

This is just a symptom of a society where feminism keeps trying to deny the basic male -dominant, female-submissive dynamic that has existed in sexuality throughout human history. When men have to ask permission for anything they do, women will crave acts which deprive them of control.

I have never been particularly excited by the idea of choking someone, but I did have a (much younger) female lover who not only wanted me to do it, but would ejaculate when I did. People like what they like.

JAORE said...

My knowledge of current sex trends ended in the 1980's. Well, except for hearing the kids talk - and they say things I'd never have told my parents!

But I recall a sex inquiry in high school. In discussions after I learned ALL of my friends reported multiple sex encounters. Almost all lies, but duly noted by the examiners.

One suspects a bi of exaggeration in the reporting.

iowan2 said...

Yes - but it’s getting harder and harder to find decent flip phones. AT&T has just one or two, and they aren’t that good.

Don't know about the quality, but I have a fair number of farmers that are compute literate that carry flip phones because they ONLY want to send and receive texts and calls. But if half the parents get first flip phones their children, the market will fill the need. Carriers dont want to sell them, because flip phones don't us data. Carriers are selling data, they are forced to mess with glitchy smart phones to sell the data.

RMc said...

A male freshman said 'girls expected' to be choked and, even though he didn’t want to do it, refusing would make him seem like a 'simp.'

Time to write off the Zoomers, and start all over again with the kindergarteners.

mikee said...

The entire article is of a genre that used to be called, "Having a fit of the vapors," when Victorian bourgeois housewives were discussing taboo subjects. Oh, the naughtiness, I can barely withstand it! Look, look, look at it! You will barely be able to withstand it, too!