November 30, 2023

"[U]nlike everyone else, [Melania] was not wearing black...."

"[She wore a] gray tweed coat with a voluminous skirt, structured and tightly belted. It was reminiscent of the protective clothing, as well as the luxury labels, that became her signature during the Trump administration. The color and the style made her stand out, made her look a part of the pageantry but not of it. And they made the choice seem like a symbol — a sign, perhaps, of Mrs. Trump’s historic ambivalence toward the role of first lady and her reluctance to play to the expectations that surround it, as well as her husband’s norm-trampling tendencies...."

Writes Vanessa Friedman, in "Rare Gathering of Former First Ladies Shows Style, and Subtle/Differences United (mostly) in black, their differences were in the details" (NYT).

Notice that Friedman's description is not a criticism of Melania. It's respectful.

76 comments:

tim in vermont said...

It's a big club, and Melania ain't in it.

rehajm said...

She possesses style and grace and presence in an arena of classless schlubs. The kind of person the best designers normally fall over each other to dress…

THAT is why she stands out.

Kevin said...

Nice article, and then:

as well as her husband’s norm-trampling tendencies....

We’ve now returned you to our original programming.

Wince said...

Notice that Friedman's description is not a criticism of Melania.

I thought that it was called "othering"?

It's respectful.

"And incidentally, thanks for not making fun of my genitalia."

Enigma said...

Melania is an innocent bystander, as political wives typically are. Wives main political value is in revealing the "unconscious biases" and unspoken thoughts of partisans, and in learning who to not trust.

Hillary "stood by her man" as he cheated and cheated and flew around on Epstein's airplane. Still, Katy Perry wore a white Hillary pantsuit...okay...she's a blind follower... Michelle Obama's appearance was often criticized by actual racists and tone deaf Republicans. Melania isn't given the time of day by "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" lefties...

Don't trust those who bully and abuse bystander political wives -- it's not fair game unless the wife runs for office.

gspencer said...

"Notice that Friedman's description is not a criticism of Melania. It's respectful."

More respectful would have been to have STFU!

Chuck said...

What a pile of drivel. Respectful insulting.

Kate said...

The photo I saw had the women in order of service: Hillary last, then Laura, Michelle, and Melania entering first. It made me think of the scene in "P&P" when Lydia, now a wife, displaces Jane as first daughter in rank. I imagined the First Ladies not liking the young upstart, someone who married in disgrace, moving them toward the back.

Breezy said...

Protective clothing and luxury labels are Melanie’s signature style? This is not a respectful description.

She’s an ex-model, who still looks amazing for her age. Of course she wears luxury labels. Don’t they all? And what is “protective” about her wardrobe? She’s not wearing Kevlar, nor camo. She’s standing out in the crowd!

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

"[She wore a] gray tweed coat with a voluminous skirt, structured and tightly belted. It was reminiscent of the protective clothing, as well as the luxury labels, that became her signature during the Trump administration."

She was wearing a black dress with a grey tweed overcoat. The dress is visible in some of the pictures when she's seated.

Notice that Friedman's description is not a criticism of Melania. It's respectful.

They've realized they went a bridge too far on the coat.

michaele said...

" her husband's norm trampling tendencies..." ha, it was pretty norm trampling (to the best of our knowledge) to have sexual relations with an intern in the Oval Office. Trump's personal behavior while in the White House was pretty conventional...if not getting our country into any wars andhaving policies that resulted in a good economy with low inflation is normal.

Howard said...

Good for Melania. I don't like the tradition of wearing black at a funeral.

Butkus51 said...

its not hard to stand out in a room full of pigs

Rob C said...

If that's respectful then I'd hate to see full throated criticism.

The author of the article goes from a color choice into casting all kinds of aspersions about the Trump's and their "norm trampling". The fact is that the press treated them like crap so why should they go to any efforts to please them? Melania and Ivanka's treatment was probably the worst of all. Two fashion icons that were completely driven out of the market and ignored/cancelled not because of what they did but who they were related to.

Gusty Winds said...

She had a black dress on underneath the coat. Hillary wore a gray coat to Bush 1's funeral.

It's all bullshit other than the fact that Melania is smokin' hot and they hate her for it.

planetgeo said...

Anything written about Melania by the NY Times has about the same level of respect as an article that might be written about Cinderella by her fugly stepsisters.

Temujin said...

What tiny, tiny people these are. Hillary wore the same look at Barbara Bush's funeral. Though not as nice and certainly not as stylish as the colors looked on Melania.
Melania Trump was the most beautiful First Lady we've ever had. A globally known model who always looked amazing, elegant, stylish. Yet who's media coverage was less positive than that received by bent over junkies on the streets of San Francisco.

There is no problem with what Melania wore at that funeral. The problem is in the brains of those who write about Melania as if she's a curse on society, yet fawn over the linebacker-like struts of Michelle Obama- let's be honest here- because of the color of her skin. Michelle can declare to the world that she hates America and is fawned over. Melania just shows up smiling and they see racism in it.

I don't care if this was 'treated with respect' or not. The fact that they had to write about it- as if she crossed a forbidden line, shows where their heads are to begin with. It's insanity.

Ice Nine said...

In the photo, Michelle Obama looks askance at Melania's (appropriate) elegant gray couture.

I'm surprised Mooch wasn't wearing some Minnie Pearlesque plaid get up.

Whiskeybum said...

…made her look a part of the pageantry but not of it.

The ‘it’ here is ‘the pageantry’, so this fragment can be rewritten “…made her look a part of it but not of it.” What’s that supposed to mean?

wendybar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wendybar said...

I think it's hilarious that the idiots who said nothing while Rosaline Carter wore tan to Nixons funeral, and Hillary Clinton wore a jacket similar to Melania's at Barbara Bushes funeral find fault in anything beautiful Melania does. Jealousy makes you ugly.

Two-eyed Jack said...

Look at Photo 13 here

https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/21/politics/gallery/barbara-bush-funeral/index.html

It shows Hillary Clinton at Barbara Bush's funeral in a gray tweed coat.

I don't know about you, but looking at it I mused to myself, the color and the style make her stand out, make her look a part of the pageantry but not of it. And they make the choice seem like a symbol — a sign, perhaps, of Mrs. Clinton’s historic ambivalence toward the role of first lady and her reluctance to play to the expectations that surround it, as well as her husband’s intern-sampling tendencies.

All highly respectful.

Bob Boyd said...

There's often a presumption in coverage of Melania that she must be unhappy and could only hate her husband.
Not necessarily in this piece, but there's also often an implication that Melania lacks the moral courage to leave her husband and come over to the light and help them trash the guy for the greater good. Feminists often seem to apply this same implication to any married woman. A married woman's unhappiness is the default presumption in media.

It was reminiscent of the protective clothing...

What does that mean? Was she wearing bullet proof skirts as first lady? Or do they mean she must have been dressing to discourage and dampen any sexual interest her loathsome husband may have?

Bob Boyd said...

"Norm trampling"

Certainly, far more norms have been trampled by the opposition's reaction to Trump than by Trump himself.

Leland said...

I see Hillary wore her normal oversized utilitarian pant suit. Can she find a designer that doesn’t think a duvet makes for a good coat?

Mike (MJB Wolf) said...

Who really tramples norms though? The one who says he wants to “make America great again” or The One who vows to “fundamentally transform America”?

Stick said...

It was never about Melania. TDS is alive & well in NEVERTRUMP & ONLYTRUMP

Rosalynn specifically asked for ALL the first ladies to be invited according to her son Chip.
She had a grace prevalent in older southern women not present in very many people close to politics.

In reality:
Trump is not Jesus
Trump is not Hitler

re Pete said...

"You might think he loves you for your money

But I know what he really loves you for"

Aggie said...

The only reason that Hillary puts up with Bill is because she's stuck with him, if she wants to pursue the much bigger prizes. Bill is her political seed capital. They've managed to assemble a few extremely lucrative pay-to-play graft-charities, which they have plundered shamelessly. But the big prize has eluded her grasp, and it's plain to see that it galls her. Now she's really stuck with him.

Melania is one of the most beautiful First Ladies of my lifetime, I think. Certainly she's pretty as Jackie, and I think she competes well in style-sense too - which is saying something, considering how the chattering classes and their minions fawned over Jackie, and largely vilified Melania.

Leftists are incredibly stupid and boorish when they try to move with brute force in social settings, as they did with the Trumps. They can't seem to help themselves. It's the inner fascist wanting to assert their popularity, I guess. They never seem to realize that a target with any backbone at all has no other choice than to be the stronger one. I think she has been a class act all the way through.

tim in vermont said...

"What a pile of drivel. Respectful insulting."


Chiuck is working on his book "How to Win Friends and Influence People II" It should be great.

JAORE said...

Respectful?

Bless her heart.

RigelDog said...

I can't read the whole article due to paywall, but from the excerpt it seems to me that the writer is not respectful of Melania. He is, at best, not coming at her with flashing daggers in both hands. She wears "luxury" labels; presumably the other First Ladies wear TJ Maxx. She chose a gray coat--a very respectable choice for a solemn occasion--but not black, like the other First Ladies. You know, the REAL First Ladies. And of course, her husband had to be awkwardly inserted into the story.

Noah Bawdy™ said...

It is good to see that we are all still here.

AlbertAnonymous said...

I don’t get the “respectful” comment either.

Unless you mean “the author could have been directly mean and cruel in what she said about Melania, but instead took the respectful route of dissing her with underhanded snide comments.”

iowan2 said...

No matter what the Trumps do it will be criticized. A perceptive 5th grader can see what's going on here. Mean girls club, has selected their target.

Melania is an actual Fashion Expert, I would challenge anyone to name a person with more Fashion knowledge.

The anthropological utility of clothes is 1.to protect from the elements. 2, anthropologically, is to breed. 3.to get noticed. As is almost always the case, women dress to 4. to please (send a message) to other women. Other than 2, men dont care.

ps, thanks to those noting the attire of past 1st Ladies. Knowledge much appreciated. Not that we all don't aleady know, to be a leftist, you awake each morning with all history stripped from your memory. If it weren't you would be even more nuts.

donald said...

Had she not asked that they all attend, Chip who is a piece of shit would have made sure she wasn’t there.

Noah Bawdy™ said...

Some people should be forced to smack themselves.

Readering said...

Mrs Carter missed Mrs Bush's service 5 years ago, presumably due to health/infirmity. Mrs Obama did not wear pants for that, just Mrs Clinton. To me pants are the untraditional touch, not a gray tweed overcoat.

rcocean said...

Respectful but still slightly negative. I was shocked at how birdlike Laura Bush seemed compared to Hillary and the others. Old age? Or was she always that frail.

And yes, the light colors do make her stand out, but if you look at the photo you'll see quite a few women dressed in light colors.

Birches said...

I think this proves Melania's fashion genius. Michelle Obama went for the Beyonce Formation look: natural hair and a pantsuit! But no one is even mentioning her. Normally they'd be doing think pieces for weeks on Michelle's fierceness and what this means for women.

But no one can take their eyes off of Melania's grey coat.

Genius.

William said...

I don't think Trump has had the most corrosive marriage or least successful marriage in the history of US Presidents. The fact remains, however, that Melania is the only trophy bride among our Presidential spouses. Her good looks work against her. When you're that good looking, people have a tendency to think that that's your only attractive quality......Well, Lincoln probably had the unhappiest marriage and his wife wasn't particularly good looking. There's not that much correlation between a happy marriage and a successful presidency....Still, I give credit to the Carters, the Bushes, and other presidential couples who managed to find solace and support in each other's company. It's reassuring when Mommy and Daddy get along, and that's part of the First Family's role. I guess the Clinton's, FDR and Eleanor, LBJ and Lady Bird had successful marriages, but knowledge of the dynamics of their partnership gives one a heightened sense of cynicism. There are some parallels in the Biden marriage to that of Woodrow and Edith. The Wilson marriage was a lot creepier than that of the Trump's, but trophy brides are more apt to inspire envy than admiration or aspiration. I don't think Melania has ever won Trump a single vote.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

The homosexual leftist Drudge had a complete meltdown over.... the color gray!

Since when does the color gray cause "OUTRAGE!" at a funeral?

Since radical left gay males - with lockstep marching orders.

Tina Trent said...

Protective clothing and luxury labels: that's a selective smear, not a compliment. All the wives wore luxury labels, but they single out Melania Trump for having some ulterior motive for doing so?

I've worked in politics in Georgia since the late 80's and have never heard a good word said about Jimmy Carter, bar his mostly symbolic work with one charity. It is highly strange for not one person of any political persuasion to like someone, especially a president from their own state. I've dined with Rosalyn Carter, and all she could talk about was how amazing North Korea is. They were dupes, many times over, and let's not forget her role in Jonestown.

The people of Plains, where I've spent some time, don't have much nice to say either. They're not allowed to bury their kin on their own land, but exceptions were made for the Carters.

That sort of thing just isn't done. They were strange, contemptuous people pretending to be something else. Imagine if Melania had fallen for a mass murderer and helped use her influence to run cover for him, as Rosalyn did with Jim Jones? And why is nobody talking about Obama's absence?

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

(F)Chuck -

do explain why gay leftist males are offended by the color gray at a funeral?

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

Melania wears a black dress under a gray coat - the a-hole corrupt leftist gay mafia Vanity-Fair variety groomers - have a total hate and rage filled meltdown.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

Michelle looked like an angry dude.
(I know there are BS conspiracy theories about that - I do not subscribe) Michelle is a woman.
but she did.
sorry. I denounce myself... and prepare for the gulag.

Drago said...

LLR-democratical and Violent Homosexual Rage Rape Fantasist Chuck: "What a pile of drivel. Respectful insulting."

Naturally, when I saw the topic of this post, I suspected Chuck would not be able to resist vomiting up something vicious as Chuck has a long history of bizarrely twisted sexually fixated attacks against Melania.

Along with a very disturbing history of fixated attacks on the children of conservative politicians that are effective in pushing back against Chuck's beloved democraticals...all on top of astonishingly racist attacks on black conservatives (who can forget Chuck claiming Ben Carson was only capable of running a "Dept of Black People" comment?)

And Chuck's demented rage rape of Rod Dreher fantasy he actually published still makes me wonder if an official report to some independent authority might be in order.

Lets hope the coming election campaign doesn't see a "Pet Sematary"-like reanimated LLR-democratical act from you know who.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Rephrase: You talk about the color black as you own it.

A blog theme, hiding in plain sight.

No names, please said...

Wait, wait, wait ... was I wrong to believe "norm trampling" was part of Trump's appeal? Talk about snowflakes. The "outrage of the day" bots must be starved for fuel if they're trying to make this a thing.

Joe Smith said...

That's a whole lot of mind-reading.

Maybe Melania just likes the way she looks in gray?

Big Mike said...

(who can forget Chuck claiming Ben Carson was only capable of running a "Dept of Black People" comment?)

I never have forgotten it. The wife of one of my oldest and dearest friends is an Ob/Gyn practicing in Maryland. I once asked her about Ben Carson, and she positively gushed about his skills as a surgeon and his pioneering work in pediatric neurosurgery. The tl:dr is that there are numerous people alive today who would be dead except for the skill of Ben Carson. Besides Dr. Michael K., who among the Althouse commentariat can say as much? Certainly not Chuck!

Big Mike said...

Like other commentators upthread I do not perceive the “respect” that Althouse claims to see. I would characterize the article as being neutral, except for the obligatory swipe at Melania’s husband’s “norm-trampling tendencies.” But given that we’re talking about the New York Times, I suppose that “neutral” is actually is pretty decent. I suppose that the Times has seen polling that tells them that pounding on Melania because of who she’s married to isn’t playing well outside of the Upper West Side

For all of that, this feels like an unforced error on Melania’s part.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

The left-wing outrage machine is really rather comical and revealing.

The orders went out - "Melania is offensive!" Outrage! she wore black and gray at a funeral. She didn't march in looking like everyone else in the Tribe.

And the obedient hivemind *arf arf arf* *trained seal* angry fashion crime left sprang into action - in universal collective unison. OH So Maddow/NBC/Kimmell -esque.

Point and laugh.

Mea Sententia said...

She links gray with ambivalence. I'd link gray with another ambi-word. Ambiguity. Politics, gender, everything is ambiguous now.

And Melania is as classy as always.

Tina848 said...

Odd that there is not a comment about Michelle wearing Pants. I was more shocked by that. Seemed too informal for a first lady.

n.n said...

Gray is not bad. White is inclusive.

Rusty said...

It was all rather respectful and elegant. On an upbeat side Michelle Obama looked less like a man.

Chuck said...

My overwhelming thought was that Melania was the First Lady who, seated next to Rush Limbaugh at the 2020 State of the Union Address in the House Chamber, personally bestowed the Presidential Medal of Freedom on Rush Limbaugh at her husband's direction.

And that one of the lowest moments in Rush Limbaugh's career was when in 1988 he declared Amy Carter to have been "the most unattractive presidential daughter in the history of the country."

Given that Melania's overriding prime directive for the past six years has been protecting the privacy of her son Barron, Limbaugh's mistake (Limbaugh himself regarded it as a mistake; he apologized for the remark and tried to take it back) this was one of the deepest ironies of the day.

The real graciousness in the day was not on the part of any of the living First Ladies, but rather with the departed First Lady Rosalynn Carter, who insisted in her memorial wishes on invitations being extended to all of fellow First Ladies.

narciso said...

She isnt getting the nomination and she shouldnt she threw all southerners under the bus she was fine with the rioters and vandals and cares more about ukraine then americans

loudogblog said...

She wore gray. That is not a disrespectful color to wear given the nature of the occasion. What else is gray? Ashes.

Mark said...

Lots of venom being spewed because she wore gray. Of course, if she had worn black, venom would have been spewed for her even existing.

Kevin said...

Melania doesn't care. Do U?

tommyesq said...

Maybe she was trying to put just a little distance between herself and the deceased wife of the ex-President who has consistently pushed pro-Palestinian and anti-Israeli rhetoric since leaving office 43 years ago, with books like "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid" and whose foundation had the audacity to "strongly" condemn the "targeting of Israeli and Palestinian civilians" on October 8th, 2023, one day after the Hamas atrocities and three weeks before Israel set foot in Gaza. Carter has done as much to ensure ongoing hostilities in the region as anyone over the last half-century.

Clyde said...

Praising with faint damn.

Lexington Green said...

It’s surprising that she was invited and I bet they were shocked that she showed up.

I thought the directive was do nothing to normalize Trump or his administration, it’s to be treated as a complete aberration.

Maybe they’re treating her with “respect” because they hoping she’ll divorce him and now it’s him and that she’ll be useful to them for that reason.

Smilin' Jack said...

“The color and the style made her stand out, made her look a part of the pageantry but not of it.”

It’s not the color and style that makes one of those not like the others.

Bunkypotatohead said...

She should have worn the "I really don't care. Do U?" jacket.

gadfly said...

And Donald J. Trump didn't have the gumption to travel 500 miles to pay respects to a kind lady.

gadfly said...

And Donald J. Trump didn't have the gumption to travel 500 miles to pay respects to a kind lady.

Crazy World said...

Up Chuck seems upset so of course this makes me on the right side of dignity, Melania is Queen.

MadTownGuy said...

"Notice that Friedman's description is not a criticism of Melania. It's respectful."

I believe it's called 'damning with faint praise.'

Marcus Bressler said...

I believe her wardrobe is as "protective" in keeping those "spectacular" breasts hidden as the cardboard container is to its contents of refrigerated biscuits

MarcusB. THEOLDMAN

Drago said...

LLR-democratical and Violent Homosexual Rage Rape Fantasist Chuck is scrambling as fast as his Pro-Whitmer/Pro-dem little leggies can carry him to try and deliver something, ANYTHING(!), to advance Team Dem talking points.

Pathetic, as always, and par for the course with his equally pathetic Team LLR-democratical amigos lonejustice and Rich!

Narayanan said...

Dr Jill wears 'protective' clothing to blend with drapery and seating

Narayanan said...

Rosalynn specifically asked for ALL the first ladies to be invited according to her son Chip.
========
I hear chortling from grave >> occurs to have successful feeding frenzy

Stoutcat said...

“The color and the style made her stand out, made her look a part of the pageantry but not of it.”

What does that even mean? If the author had said, “…made her appear to be in the pageantry but not of it…” it might have made sense. But as written…not even close.