True carnivores just tear apart meat with their canine teeth & chew lowering their heads to one side so that the blood drips from their mouths without soiling their clothes. Sounds like you aren’t the real thing complaining about a knife. https://t.co/5cTmfq3t2O
— Joyce Carol Oates (@JoyceCarolOates) June 22, 2023
UPDATE: I should have made a screenshot! The tweet JCO responded to has been deleted. It was someone complaining that an expensive restaurant served them steak without an accompanying "steak knife," and when they complained, they got a knife which — they showed a photograph — looked rather small and flimsy.
ADDED: Why do restaurants serve steak with sturdy dark-handled knives that seem to say this steak is not tender? I've heard it said (by someone with the education to know) that if the steak is good, you shouldn't need more than an ordinary table knife with the typical serrated edge.
The steak knife is just theater... or is the steak is too tough? I think if the steak is really tough, those "steak knives" won't do much good. They're just cheap junk, not actually good knives, right?
Some people bring their own knives, like this, folding knives, which, we're told, don't look like weapons. We are, nevertheless, advised to check our local laws. They might be illegal — remember the moral panic of 1958 that led to the Federal Switchblade Act? — but they are good at cutting meat — cooked animal meat, of course.
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I bought a pack of those cheap steak knives years and years ago - at a long past closed local Sam's Club. 8-pack for 6 bucks.
I use them to open boxes. They are awesome!
"True carnivores just tear apart meat with their canine teeth & chew lowering their heads to one side so that the blood drips from their mouths without soiling their clothes."
No true Scotsman would post such a thing.
So lions, tigers, and my house cat are not true carnivores since they don't have clothes to worry about dripping blood on?
And did the knife work? Honestly, it looks sharp-ish, so if that's not cutting your wife's steak, that's a much bigger complaint.
Note to Joyce Carol Oates: At no time did the guy claim to be a true carnivore. It's lazy on your part to make fun of him for that.
“True carnivores just tear apart meat with their canine teeth & chew lowering their heads to one side so that the blood drips from their mouths without soiling their clothes.”
Bullshit. Canine teeth are weapons. You first use your canines to kill the prey, and then you tear out chunks with your incisors and chew them with your molars.
Humans aren't "true carnivores", we're tool using omnivores.
Luckily, humans are omnivores with an opposable thumb that allows them to use tools.
Oates is wrong. The jaws, teeth and digestive system of humans are the product of evolution. These structures are optimized for omnivorous feeding. We lack the pointed teeth of carnivores.
As for steak house cutlery practices, I find that the fancy sharp steak knives provide a demonstration of just how well prepared the house specialty was. Needlessly high quality cutlery coordinates with needlessly high quality table cloths and fixtures.
Even rich people steal nice steak knives?
Agree it's tacky to serve cheap steak knives at fancy restaurant - but those cheap knives can cut thru shipping tape like nobody's business
I identify as a carnivore... who are you to challenge my identity?
My guess is that it would inconvenient for a restaurant to dispense rare-, medium-, and well-done knives, so they just give everyone a well-done knife.
I look to a thick handled steak knife to chop my salad.
Something about the stability at the wrist that makes cutting through all the salad ingredients easier and more controlled.
Or, as Biden would say, I can eat a higher caliber salad.
May Ms. Oats be visually surrounded by human carnivors that "tear apart meat with their canine teeth & chew lowering their heads to one side so that the blood drips from their mouths" every time she eats at a restaurant.
Make mine rare, Ms. Oats.
The stegosaurus Spielberg hunted, shot, and ate was said to be incredibly tender and flavorful.
Oates is wrong. The jaws, teeth and digestive system of humans are the product of evolution. These structures are optimized for omnivorous feeding. We lack the pointed teeth of carnivores.
As for steak house cutlery practices, I find that the fancy sharp steak knives provide a demonstration of just how well prepared the house specialty was. Needlessly high quality cutlery coordinates with needlessly high quality table cloths and fixtures.
Depending on the cut, there is connective tissue to deal with. Sirloin is a fine cut, but not deeply marbled. Steak houses regularly cut those to the 1.5" thickness, to protect against over cooking. That steak, even a prime rating, that thick, cannot be cut with a knife. The popular Ribeye, is tasty because of the fat and marbling. Attaching the fat is connective tissue.
This must be an coastal thing. Here we always get a knife of substance.
h. sapiens is not a carnivore. Our species is omnivorous; ergo our canines and premolars are not specialized for tearing apart animal carcasses.
I wish I could afford to eat in steak houses where the meat is as tender as Althouse describes. She must have a lot more do-re-mi in retirement than I do. Nevertheless the polite response to not being given a steak knife is (1) attempt to cut the meat ITG the utensils provided. If that fails then (2) signal the waiter and — politely — request a sharper knife. If the waiter ignores the signal or otherwise fails to bring a satisfactory cutting utensil, then (3) leave the table and seek out the maitre d’. If all else fails then (4) eat what you can eat, pay the check, leaving a zero tip, and write a scathing review on Yelp.
My advice, use it or not as you deem fit.
My company took us out to a top of the line steakhouse last night (John Howie in Bellevue WA) . 25 people, $6000 bill. The steak came with a very thin steak knife that could be mistaken for cheap and flimsy. If you got the waygu it came with a fancier knife.
Yes, it is theater. That is a significant portion of the customer experience at a nice restaurant.
Good grief. I want a SHARP easy to cut knife. So I don’t cut myself, food slip off. Etc
I thought humans were omnivores?
That's very funny, bringing your own knife in a little wooden box. Kind of like Minnesota Fats showing up at the pool emporium with his custom cue.
I think they use fat-handled big-bladed steak knives because it's more satisfying to saw through a thick, juicy steak as your mouth waters. It's atavistic, in a way, no matter how tender the steak is. Don't forget, they're selling the sizzle. And if it happens to be .... chewy... then, it makes easier work of it. Beats a dainty little knife every time.
Chop houses of the later 19th century served up inexpensive steaks and sauted onions and baked potatoes, and used a cheap but sharp wooden-handled knife & metal fork & spoon as cutlery. The steak knife follows that tradition. See the scene in The Road To Wellville where Matthew Broderick goes off campus for some real food.
I had the honor of attending Texas A&M University during the last years of Tom's BBQ being located at the corner of University & 6th back in the 1980s. They served BBQ & fixins on butcher paper and the only implement provided was a cheap wooden handled knife. Good BBQ, sold cheap. Just the thing for hungry grad students. And as a true carnivore, albeit polite, I always asked my roomie if he was gonna eat his pickle before I took it myself, although we had established on our first visit that he didn't like pickles and would never eat it.
....and I neglected to take the opportunity to point out that, yet again, Joyce Carol Oates is a complete idiot.
Dang, some people are really stupid!
People with IQs above room temperature know that a sharp knife is a safer tool than a dull knife - which is far more likely to slip off of the item you are attempting to cut.
Further, let's add one more item to what it means to be a real man. A "real man" is capable of sharpening a knife to the point that it can easily shave the hairs on their arm!
three things
a good steak will cut easily with a butter knife (yes, gilbar does this* all the time)
a Ruths Chris steak Can be cut with a fork (yes, gilbar has done this to check it out)
"some people" say that you 'irritate the flesh' when you Don't use the sharpest knife, and that:
therefore, EVEN THOUGH you Could cut it with a butter knife (or a fork), you should use the sharp knife so that juices don't cum out or something.
gilbar does this* I like to lick the knife (like a pirate).. With a steak knife, you have to so a amount concern that you don't slice your tongue**
slice your tongue** did you ever date a girl, that got off on Insisting that she could lick you blood While you bled? gilbar has.. And it kinda creeped him out a little
A true carnivore would only eat meat. Most of us are omnivores. We'll eat just about anything. There is no requirement whatsoever about how the meat gets eaten.
The "no true carnivore" fallacy. Posts haven't passed moderation yet, so I beg pardon from whoever came up with similar ideas.
Some people ( like my wife) like their steaks well done and that does need a steak knife. Some people like me like their steaks rare and cutting that with an ordinary knife can be tough at times. Oates can just eat the steak holding with her hands and just bit it like other true carnivores.
I hate those fake carnivores. You can tell the real carnivores. We like our loaded baked potato, Caesar salad and ice cold beer along with the tomahawk ribeye. NB: no veggies.
"first prize is a new Cadillac. You know what second prize is? A set of steak knives. Third prize is: you're fired.
This is coming from mitch and Murray downtown"
Alex Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross. Best motivational speech ever. And he didn't even stab the director with a steak knife.
John lgb Henry
I've eaten great expense account steak all over the world, never had one that did not come with a good knife.
Mostly you don't need a heavy knife, but they feel good when trimming/scraping the red meat off the bone.
OTOH, I have large hands, so YMMV.
_XC
Some people bring a 200 dollar French folding steak knife to the restaurant? That's gonna be hard to deny wielding after the accidental snifter bump leads to unrestrained brandy and a splash of murder! The victim was plainly cut by no other than a fine French knife, just look at the fleur-de-lis scarring!
All I know is this, if I'm ever dining somewhere and someone takes out some case and starts to unfold some fancy blade, I'm going to point at him and go LOOK OUT HE'S GOT A KNIFE which might be weird because literally everyone will have a knife, but then again both objectives will be satisfied; the knife guy will get the recognition they deserve and I'll be able to say later "Well duh, I clearly yelled out he had a knife just before the knifing started!"
'True carnivores' wear clothes? Ms. Oates must attend some peculiar dinner parties.
"...a sharp knife is a safer tool than a dull knife...".
Amen. A lesson from Dad from my very early years.
Hilarious comment. And you can see the scene she creates so vividly. I’ve never read any JCO books. And I love mysteries. But hers seem to be all so depressing. I finally settled on Mystery Inc (65 pages) which is part of the Bibliomystery series - Short Tales About Deadly Books. I also visited her Twitter feed. She recommended Emily Dickinson Face To Face - a memoir by ED’s niece (which I bought). Plus lots of cats and dogs on her Twitter feed. And for those of you who hate RFKJR - she hates him too. So there’s something for everyone. Thank you for the post.
MadisonMan said...
"And did the knife work? Honestly, it looks sharp-ish, so if that's not cutting your wife's steak, that's a much bigger complaint.
Note to Joyce Carol Oates: At no time did the guy claim to be a true carnivore. It's lazy on your part to make fun of him for that."
Exactly. The object is to eat the steak as long as the knife cuts, who cares.
Pillage Idiot said...
"People with IQs above room temperature know that a sharp knife is a safer tool than a dull knife - which is far more likely to slip off of the item you are attempting to cut."
True.Those room IQ people aren't the sharpest knife in the drawer.
For ages, we served steak with ordinary table knives--we call them butter knives, but they have a discreet serration. Eventually we purchased some slim steak knives that worked a bit better, since the pointy-ended tip could dissect meat away from tricky bone angles. All that said, I kind of like the showmanship of being presented with an absurdly large, back-woods-looking knife at a steak house. It's like they are saying, "You, sir are special, because you ordered "the steak" at this steak house".
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