June 19, 2023

"Single women approaching middle age are so vulnerable. We have money but we might not have met the right guy yet. And suddenly this good-looking man starts talking to you and you’re excited."


Said Rebecca Holloway, 42, quoted in "Newly divorced mom scammed of entire $100,000 401k savings in Tinder ‘pig butchering’ scheme" (NY Post).
She added: “Looking back, the signs are so obvious. But at the time you want to believe it’s real.”

The scam that hit Holloway is the latest example of “pig butchering,” a term that refers to a months-long scheme to “fatten up” victims with fake romance before “butchering” with fake investment advice.

Well, aren't we all "so vulnerable" to a "good-looking" person who offers love? It's an old story, and I would not find it bloggable, but for that slang "pig butchering."

I get the metaphor of fatness and butchering, but is the "fake romance" analogous to the fattening of the pig? It seems to me that the victim is targeted because she's already fat, i.e. rich, and the fake romance serves the purpose not of fattening but of leading the already fat pig to the slaughter.

Is it inconsistent with present-day etiquette to call a person a fat pig? If you must argue no, just say there is absolutely no fat shaming, because fatness is the desired quality, and the desirer, the butcher, wants pork. But I reject this term "pig butchering." It's cruel to the victim, who is human, not porcine, and who was harmed but not cut up like meat.

90 comments:

Mason G said...

I think it's possible to get way off track by taking things too literally. Everybody knows what a glove compartment in a car is but I'd bet only a tiny fraction of them have ever been used to store a pair of gloves.

Balfegor said...

It's a Chinese term (殺猪盘: kill boar platter). The English is just a translation that's gained currency on its own thanks to the spread of this particular type of scam (or rather, this implementation of it, since cads and Becky Sharps have been around forever) on English language social media.

Dave Begley said...

People are so stupid. They should listen to billionaire Charlie Munger. He's from Omaha!

Charlie has called crypto, "Rat poison squared." He's correct. Can't get any more direct than that.

Charlie has also pointed out that the main use case for crypto is for drug dealing, kidnapping and cyber hacking schemes.

BTW, where's the FBI on these computer hack jobs and ransom schemes?

I've listened and read the crypto pitch, but it is all premised on the Greater Fool theory. The Fed's stupidity only fed the crypto trend.

It will all end in tears.

George Grady said...

It's also interesting that modern pigs for the most part aren't fattened before sale and slaughter. The money is in the lean meat, not in the fat, so modern pig breeds have been bred to grow quickly and be feed-efficient, without getting all that fat.

Big Mike said...

We have money but we might not have met the right guy yet.

You met him. You met more than one of him. But you were younger and wanted to focus on your career, and you mistakenly assumed that good men would be all over the place waiting desperately for you to decide to get married when you were ready. But the good ones were snapped up by women who were not as book-smart as you but certainly more wise.

Rusty said...

That's 'cause, at that age, you're thinkin' with your lady parts. I don't often watch Russel Brand, but when I do I watch the females in the interview. No matter who they are or how old each one of them wants some Russel Brand. You guys are obvious.

Mountain Maven said...

I met a great woman through friends at my church and we've been married for 32 years. The old fashioned ways are the best ways.

Sid said...

"But I reject this term "pig butchering."

If you're not a grifter, you don't get to name the grift

DavidUW said...

Bulls make money, bears make money, pigs get slaughtered.
That's the origin of the pig butchering remark.

Single women approaching middle age might have money and they have certainly met the right guy by then, they just ignored him, or already dumped him.

Big Mike said...

@Althouse, I get why you’re taking umbrage at the term, but where does it say that victims of a a scam that even they describe as “obvious,” at least in retrospect, get to decide what to call it? If the term “pig butchering” causes women to be more alert, isn’t that a good thing?

The term “pig” scarcely refers to the woman’s dress size. Anne Hathaway is no one’s idea of a “pig,” but she reportedly had a boyfriend nick her for $2.4 million. And Debbie Reynolds’s second husband nicked her for more than that.

Gospace said...

Not single- divorced and a mother of 3. And- with someone she picked up on Tinder. Yeah, she's a real brainiac.

And the other lady in the article- the man of her dreams- a wine merchant she met on Hinge! Bringing up the question - WTH is Hinge? Like a man with that profile is going to be trolling dating sites for women. All he needs to do is host a wine tasting- he can pick them in person. I've only been to one wine tasting. Women outnumbered men 5-1 there.

Life lesson 101 that the adults in their life failed to instill properly in them when they were young- If it sounds too good to be true, it probably isn't.

Readering said...

Perhaps the gross term will help get the word out.

traditionalguy said...

The basic problem of the recently divorced ladies is their massive sudden new wealth taken from the unfaithful ex-husband. There is an industry well trained to show them romantic love and suggest/demand they trust this lover who happens to know some great investment advice. For their own good.

Since they do need investment advice and their magnificent new lover suggests the lady must
show her trust in him if the newly single 50 some wants this love relationship to continue, they are easy marks.

The same con artist gangs also work on the 80 something widowed men with late 40s empathetic actresses who can get them to marry them. Strangely, the old guys will suddenly die a month after the wedding.

PRACTICE TIP: Date them all but trust none of them with any money. After all, your kids are your heirs.

RNB said...

Professor Severus Snape: "You've kept him [Harry Potter] alive so that he can die at the proper moment. You've been raising him like a pig for slaughter!"

Ice Nine said...

>But I reject this term "pig butchering." It's cruel to the victim, who is human, not porcine, and who was harmed but not cut up like meat.<

Yes, agree - it is extremely insensitive of these heartless, life-ruining, criminal scammers who coined the term!

Kate said...

Well, to play devil's advocate ...

She's a moral pig for divorcing the man she had, and then turning around to find someone better. She had love. She had the perfect foil for middle age angst: someone to grow old with. She thought her mid-life crisis required action, rather than stillness. She took the money and ran about the pen, looking juicy and foolish.

Yancey Ward said...

It is a P.T. Barnum world.

CJinPA said...

The name likely comes from the non-Westerners who perfected the scam. In an article I read on pig butchering, the victim was male. It's a bit jarring to see it used on a female.

Spiros said...

I can't help but think about the desperate women who become mail order brides and Gene Hackman in Zandy's Bride. This wonderful movie is about a wealthy rancher (Gene Hackman) who treats his middle-aged mail order bride (Liv Ullman) more as a servant than a wife. He probably raped her too! But at the end of the film, the woman announces she is pregnant and Gene Hackman's character becomes a gentle, loving husband. Twins are born and the film ends on a hopeful note.

gilbar said...

suckers born, every minute.. Women, minorities hardest hit.
Basically, they're saying that women are So Stupid, that they have no agency.. Right? i mean, RIGHT?

Robert Marshall said...

Talking with someone who appears on your computer screen is not a "fake romance." It is no kind of romance at all.

It might be a means of introduction to another person, but until there's a face-to-face meeting and at least a bit of due diligence about who they really are, it's all early-stage "meeting-someone."

One way to avoid pig-butchering is to never mix money with love, until things have gotten very, very serious. Talking on the little screen, that's not any kind of serious at all. There used to be a tradition called "marriage," which had all sorts of safeguards to protect against this sort of thing. Like meeting each other's relatives, for example. Some of whom might look and act like they'd be ready and able to kick your ass if you turn out to be a cad. Not perfect safeguards, but a whole lot better than turning over money to someone you've not actually even met, in hopes of romance.

Sad.

Eva Marie said...

I applaud these women (and anyone else who falls for scams) for going public. That’s a huge public service.
I once got a very official letter informing me that I had already won a million dollars. All I had to do was send a check for $1000 to cover processing. I was both tired and tired of my life and for half an hour I actually thought there was a slim chance that I had won a million dollars - and $1000 was such a small risk for such a large payoff. I had been the recipient of so many of these kinds of letters/faxes and never thought twice before tossing them in the trash. But that day for that enchanted half an hour I actually believed. I reluctantly tore up the letter. But I understand how normally sane people (I may be flattering myself here) can have one vulnerable moment that ends up creating so much havoc in their lives.

Original Mike said...

I read the article but it wasn't clear how the scam worked. Surely she wasn't dumb enough to hand the money over directly to the boyfriend. I'm guessing that the "firm" the boyfriend suggested to receive the money was actually the boyfriend's accomplice?

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

Scammers don't like to get beaten at their own game. Still, it's been quite a journey from "I Am Woman hear me roar!" to "we need special laws to protect women from...".

Leland said...

I ain't sayin' he's a golddigger, but he ain't dating no broke...

Greg the Class Traitor said...

Big Mike said...
"We have money but we might not have met the right guy yet."

You met him. You met more than one of him. But you were younger and wanted to focus on your career


No. She met him, but, like her, he was a 6 or a 7. She ignored him because she was eagerly putting out for 8s and 9s who were never actually going to marry her ("men are so shallow!" No, honey, YOU are the shallow one, who has stupidly decided that high status guys being willing to have sex with you means you are high status yourself. You're not). Now she's older, and has some money. But most guys want looks, not money, and most of the ones who want her money want the money, not her.

Enjoy your "feminist victory", and your bicycle

Rocco said...

traditionalguy said...
"The basic problem of the recently divorced ladies is their massive sudden new wealth taken from the unfaithful ex-husband."

Pro sports leagues like the NBA and NFL run player seminars on how to spot and avoid gold diggers, especially ones that want to get knocked up by a rich athlete and have child support payments for 18 years. Maybe divorce court should offer a similar service for middle-aged women.

"The same con artist gangs also work on the 80 something widowed men with late 40s empathetic actresses who can get them to marry them. Strangely, the old guys will suddenly die a month after the wedding."

Meet serial killer Anna Marie Hahn. She was the first woman in Ohio to die in the electric chair: https://www.google.com/search?q=anna+marie+hahn

Gator said...

There is severely something wrong with women when they become peri menopausel. I get they have extreme hormonal mood swings. But there is medication to fix it

wild chicken said...

I get lots of good looking old boomer guys trying to friend me on Facebook. Like, I don't have a clue who they are. Delete!

rcocean said...

Everything is crouched in terms of "Oh, poor women". By contrast, our society has a tradition of laughing at some old goat who gets taken to the cleaners by some young cutie.

15 years ago, I had a middle-aged friend, with an expensive house and a few dollars in the bank, who asked me what I thought of his marrying some good-lookng mail-order bride from the Ukraine (or was it Romania?) and I told "John, you're the kinda guy who gets killed for his insurance money"

He didn't appreciate that. But the marriage lasted just long enough for her to get the green card, and 1/2 his property. Sadly, a few after that, he got bone cancer and died. Which was even sadder.

Rabel said...

Since she withdrew the 100k out of a qualified 401k account and put it into a fake and thus non-qualified account will she not owe income tax on the withdrawal?

Michael K said...

Blogger traditionalguy said...

The basic problem of the recently divorced ladies is their massive sudden new wealth taken from the unfaithful ex-husband. There is an industry well trained to show them romantic love and suggest/demand they trust this lover who happens to know some great investment advice. For their own good.


I know of a real case like this. The woman was a friend and patient. Her husband was also a friend but a bit of a jerk. He had been a helo pilot in Vietnam, which might have affected him. They got a divorce and the ex-wife met up with a fellow who moved in with her. After a year or two, he announced he was leaving and she learned he had refinanced her house. I think she was able to get things straitened out but it was a few bad years.

gspencer said...

These women are accurately called pigs as in "pig-butchering." They were pigs by trying to have it all - the good-looking guy with all the romance attached plus not only keeping their dough but getting it to increase wildly.

Free Manure While You Wait! said...

"Is it inconsistent with present-day etiquette to call a person a fat pig?"

Pigs aren't fat. They're full-figured. And that should be celebrated, not shamed.

walter said...

Hypergamy...maybe Hypig O'mee.

Mason G said...

"Single women approaching middle age..." said Rebecca Holloway, 42.

"Approaching"? At 42, you're there. If you're willing to lie to yourself, it shouldn't come as too big of a surprise to find that others are willing, too.

Just sayin'.

Mikey NTH said...

There are plenty of YouTube channels where the recently divorced 40 something or 30 something who wants to settle down get on TikTok and complain that there are no good men out there. That some become prey to dirty rotten scoundrels is inevitable.

Mikey NTH said...

There are plenty of YouTube channels where the recently divorced 40 something or 30 something who wants to settle down get on TikTok and complain that there are no good men out there. That some become prey to dirty rotten scoundrels is inevitable.

catter said...

A 42 year old who describes themself as "approaching middle age" is declaring that they want to be lied to.

catter said...

A 42 year old who describes themself as "approaching middle age" is declaring that they want to be lied to.

catter said...

A 42 year old who describes themself as "approaching middle age" is declaring that they want to be lied to.

catter said...

A 42 year old who describes themself as "approaching middle age" is declaring that they want to be lied to.

catter said...

GCA 42 year old who describes themself as "approaching middle age" is declaring that they want to be lied to.

ALP said...

Well, this 'butchered' woman used modern tech to find the guy but failed to use modern tech to vet him. It's never been easier to look into someone's life and check to see if they are pulling bullshit on you. Might cost a few bucks for a background check, but if I was dating today, I'd consider a few bucks for a digital background check money well spent.

Rt41Rebel said...

The "fattening-up" is the returns on the test investments which lead the victim to "fatten-up" their investment into the scam.

Ambrose said...

The plot of “The Producers”

tim in vermont said...

Life is hard. That's the tweet.

Lewis Wetzel said...

What about middle aged men "romance scammed" by women?
Men don't run to the newspaper after they have been romance scammed by women.
I knew a guy, a coworker for many years, who got romance scammed by a foreign woman. After he brought her to the US, got her her green card (paying for everything, of course), she dropped him.
He didn't run to the newspaper to complain about his treatment, he killed himself.

RMc said...

And suddenly this good-looking man starts talking to you and you’re excited.

I take it the not-so-good-looking men are encouraged to join the back of the queue.

Bruce Hayden said...

A bit cynical here. You see a lot of desperate divorced women in their 40s in Scottsdale, just east of us in PHX. Great hunting when I was in my early 50s, some two decades ago. Almost every one of them I met had divorced their husband and were trying to trade up. For the most part, it didn’t work. Sure, there were guys who had some money hanging around. But they were mostly enjoying the easy sex, to get tied down. What they don’t seem to understand is that they are now behind the curve, in terms of competing with other women, because those 50 something guys they are looking for, are also looking at the 30 and even 20 something women too. Women are physically at their most attractive for most men at maybe 20, and decline thereafter. Worse, they often come with the baggage of kids.

Scottsdale has a number of really good plastic surgeons, and a lot of the women you meet there have had work done. My view was that having had work done was indicia of desperation. I do remember one woman I ran into a second time several years after the first time. She had upped her breast size significantly, and I didn’t recognize her because of it. She had gone into real estate, and was upside down on the mortgage loan of a house much too big for her in Scottsdale. She had bought it for inventory, and was losing her shirt on it. I felt bad for her, but knew that pity is a red light for me. But she wasn’t alone. So many of the women I met there had their own sad stories. I never did well with women who thought that they were victims.

That said, I did meet my partner of 23 years now in a very nice club, closer to downtown PHX. She was 42, and ended up being the only good looking woman left unattached after midnight. She was waiting for her ride home, who was currently entwined with a guy she had met earlier that night. We talked for an hour, and because I didn’t make a move on her, I got her phone number. She had two great kids, but were out of the house, so not baggage, and liked that I had one, that I saw every other weekend, in Denver, and talked to nightly. In any case, I instinctively knew not to make a move on her, and that helped seal the deal. The difference was that she didn’t give off the desperate vibe. She wasn’t. Had never been. Now on Medicare, she still gets hit on all the time.

Gahrie said...

No woman must be made to feel bad about, or responsible for, anything, ever.

Mary Beth said...

These women are fortunate they didn't mortgage their homes and lose even more. People do.

They didn't have to call it a pig butchering scam (although it is), they could have called it a romance scam or a crypto scam, because it is those too. Not all pig butchering scams involve romance, but many do. Most now involve fake crypto apps/websites. How anyone who pays any attention can think that they are earning money in crypto over the last year or so, especially at those faked rates of return, is beyond me.

Most romance scams seem to be for a lower dollar amount, but can be just as devastating. People on social security or a pension sending a few hundred a month to a scammer boyfriend/girlfriend who is coming to visit but just keeps having problem after problem and just needs a few hundred to fix it, then they will be together, but whoops, there's a new problem.

The odds are good that some of the people who read this will know someone who is talking to a scammer. The victim is often very reluctant to believe it's not true love. You can check the scammer's profile pictures with TinEye or Google Image search or Duplichecker.

AARP has some good resources about scams that can help you educate someone that might be a victim.

Anyone can be a victim with the right bait and the right scammer. Some scammers are using deepfake audio to make parents or grandparents think a child has been hospitalized or is in some other kind of trouble that requires immediate money. The more you know, the safer you'll be, just don't think you are scam-proof.

n.n said...

In New York, she could cry unrequited rape.

BarrySanders20 said...

The saying back in Iowa was "Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered."

She should have enjoyed the attention when she was getting buttered up, pig-like. But she got greedy and when she thought she'd seal the deal with the money commitment, reel him in, then she became a hog. So this is hog-slaughtering/hog-butchering.

Nancy Reyes said...

I agree with big mike, alas. These ladies say they are into their career but still dream of a romance with Prince Charming as if they are still teenagers. These women are the same as the unwoke women of the 1950s that they abhore: They still want a man to take care of them and have a perfect family. But biology is against them.
And so when a handsome guy came onto them, they believed he was really into them, not a scam. Did they ever look into a mirror?

tim maguire said...

Sid said...If you're not a grifter, you don't get to name the grift

That was my thought too. “Pig butchering” sounds like a term used by the pig butchers. They’re the ones who get to decide what it’s called.

As others have pointed out, Holloway almost certainly has met good men capable of being Mr. Right, but she wasn’t interested in them for any number of reasons, some good, some bad. And now, well, good men aren’t interested in her wealth because they don’t look to their partner for financial support. People who get conned get conned because of their greed. A woman who tries to use her wealth to date men out of her league is setting herself up—she’s greedy for status.

gilbar said...

what about
single women..
that are only 13..
and are told by their "doctors", that they aren't women..
and have their breasts chopped off..
and then, by the time they're 17, they realize what a Horrible mistake it all was..
and when they are 18, they are suing the doctors and hospital that oversaw the procedure —
claiming they were in it for the money.
????
https://nypost.com/2023/06/17/woman-sues-hospital-for-removing-her-breasts-when-she-was-13-years-old/
By the age of 12 she was on hormone blockers and testosterone without a proper psychological evaluation, Lovdahl claims in the legal filing.
Lovdahl underwent a single 75-minute transition evaluation, she alleged.
” ‘It is better to have a live son than a dead daughter,’ ” the physicians allegedly told the family.
Lovdahl additionally accused the hospital and doctors of not providing her and her parents proper “informed consent,” which would have included in-depth therapy, something she said never happened.

The procedures were “an insane form of child abuse,”

John henry said...

I heard the term for the first time a couple weeks ago on the No Agenda Show. John C Dvorak mentioned it in passing, without much detail. Nothing about women. He mentioned it as a longish term, 2-3 months, investment scam. Same idea, though.

John henry said...

Sadly, a few after that, he got bone cancer and died. Which was even sadder.

How do you give someone bone cancer? Sounds like it might be the perfect crime.

John LGB Henry

John henry said...

When a woman with money meets a man with experience, the man gets the money and the woman has an experience.

Apologies to Will Rogers?

John LGB Henry

Bob Boyd said...

Okay so this fish walks into a bicycle shop...

Dude1394 said...

Single men approaching middle age are so vulnerable. They are looking for a companion and are easily taken in by a gold digger.

walter said...

"She had upped her breast size significantly, and I didn’t recognize her because of it. She had gone into real estate, and was upside down on the mortgage loan of a house much too big for her in Scottsdale. She had bought it for inventory, and was losing her shirt on it."
Big boobed, upside down, losing her shirt.

Big Mike said...

@Greg the Class Traitor (1:56), yes, that also. I’ll take your comment as a friendly amendment.

Owen said...

Take the ride, pay the fare.

By which I mean, actions have consequences. Stuff we do often (and survive doing) can teach us (if we're willing to learn). Finding a mate is not something we do often; and while we may survive doing it (here, mostly: rejecting it) it's a big deal and we clutter up our "learnings" with self-justifications.

So suddenly we're 45 or more and we feel a clock ticking. Because, yes, we're all mortal and like Dante, who "found himself again" at the "midpoint of life's journey," we may start to see things more intensely, feel them more deeply, feel the PRESSURE of them more deeply. We may talk ourselves into crazy investment decisions, egged on by Mr. (or Ms.) Wonderful.

I have no answers, except this: we are all weak and partial creatures, we should favor legal and other norms that keep us from hurting ourselves too easily while still preserving our responsibility and power to grow from learning from our actions.

Something like that.

Jamie said...

I know of a real case like this. The woman was a friend and patient. Her husband was also a friend but a bit of a jerk. He had been a helo pilot in Vietnam, which might have affected him. They got a divorce and the ex-wife met up with a fellow who moved in with her. After a year or two, he announced he was leaving and she learned he had refinanced her house.

I have a friend in a similar situation. Husband, wealthy, cheated. Divorce, in which he resisted any requirement for child support or spousal support. My friend fought on the child support (the dude had to be coerced to pay support for his children - I've encountered this more than once and don't understand it) and I believe won, but it wouldn't help her pay the bills when she'd been out of the workforce for twenty years.

So in steps the rescuer, an old friend who showed up at the right time. And repeated the - what? Is it too much to call it "the abuse"? Moved in with her with his own kids, said he'd support her and her kids, got her to front a bunch of money for things "they" needed, and then started abusing his access to her and her financial situation (predominantly her house, she had little else) more openly.

Weirdly, I learned all of this the first time I met her, at a girls' night that turned into an impromptu intervention at another friend's house. She left Guy #2 that very night and came home with me and my neighbor, who let her live with her and her family for at least a month while she figured out how she would support herself and her kids.

She got a full time job at a shop, restarted her teaching career as a sub and then full time, after some dating experiences eventually remarried, and is now in a better situation (though her husband has a terminal but slow-moving cancer!), but whew, she went through the wringer.

This is not to say a man can't experience a similar wringer. My brother will never be truly happy again, thanks to his awful ex (and, to be fair, his own now chronically bitter outlook, though he wasn't exactly bitter before her, just kind of a pessimist). But I thought I'd share.

NKP said...

I love the company of attractive, bright, open and confident women of all ages. Not all that hard to connect. Just speak to them, say something positive and avoid being creepy or needy.

I've been with the same woman for over 30 years. Never cheated. She works 5 or 6 nights a week, tending bar. Been doing that all her life, loves the work and makes a boatload of $$$$ We rarely eat or have time together in the evening.

So, since I like to cook and share and socialize... My sweetie laughs and tells her friends that I'm in the habit of bringing "strays" home and feeding them. Not an issue. She's formed closer friendships with some of the "strays" than I have.

I make it clear to first-timers when extending invites that I'm interested only in good company and conversation. In fact, I warn them not to go thinking they might "get lucky". They laugh. I laugh. They come as singles and twos and threes. Good times.

It's amazing how openly these women talk about their interests and frustrations in finding Mr. Right and the difficulties and sometimes anger involved in jettisoning Mr. Wrong.

FWIW, I'm 80, my life partner is 15 years younger and the "strays" range from 18 through mid-70s. More that one of our long-time friends and neighbors think my habits are scandalous and wonder why-in-the-world my sweetheart puts up with them/me. F*** 'em. I'm not ready to to quit living, become invisible and shrivel up maxing out the return on my netflix subscription.

Marcus Bressler said...

"BoneR cancer."

All jokes aside, the sad part of that story is he died alone. People who divorce because they are "bored" (women: "You're not the same guy I married") or mid-life crisis (men: Harley and an cheap affair because their wife won't blow them but it costs half their $ and the house) wind up being alone in their elderly years. You're alone and SICK and DYING and there is no one there for you. Terrible.

P.S. Having children doesn't guarantee someone will worry and care about you when you hit old age and illness (or life-changing injury) arrives.

MarcusB. THEOLDMAN

tim in vermont said...

"No matter who they are or how old each one of them wants some Russel Brand."

Don't be so hard on them, men are the same way with beautiful women.

Kevin Rogers said...

I have been in the stock market for years. There is a saying.." bulls and bears make money; pigs get slaughtered". Pigs here does not refer to women or men specifically. Rather those investors who dont do their homework or get too greedy (lacking risk control) I suspect that saying may be at play here.

Kevin Rogers said...

I have been in the stock market for years. There is a saying.." bulls and bears make money; pigs get slaughtered". Pigs here does not refer to women or men specifically. Rather those investors who dont do their homework or get too greedy (lacking risk control) I suspect that saying may be at play here.

J L Oliver said...

This scam has been around for years! I always thought it was called cat fishing. This whole pig thing is a little weird.

tim in vermont said...

"the sad part of that story is he died alone."

It probably seems that way to outsiders, but we outsiders will never know whether he considered it sad. There are lots of reasons to divorce a woman other than "ze wandering pee pee," as it was put in the movie "Intolerable Cruelty."

tim in vermont said...

"That's what you get for loving me...
That's what you get for loving me-ee.
Everything you had is gone.
Look and see.
That's what you get for loving me."

Kirk Parker said...

Rocco,

"Maybe divorce court should offer a similar service for middle-aged women."

Given that women initiate a significant majority of divorces, maybe it's men who who should be offered such a service -- more beneficially in the prenuptial stage than in the context of divorce ("too late!")

Lars Porsena said...

That guy looks like a pimp.

Leland said...

Catfishing is an entirely different scam. The similarity is the fraud, but the scam in this discussion is about pretending to show interest in somebody in order to get access to their money. Catfishing is pretending to be something else to gain interest from somebody. If the women were dating the guy because they thought they were a financial genius, then perhaps it is catfishing too.

JAORE said...

I was single in my mid thirties after a 13 year marriage.

Meeting single women was easy. But for too many the desperation was palpable. And unattractive.

My weakness is that I like smart, strong and independent women.

Met her. After 34 years of thrills, frustration, challenge and love we are still together.

PM said...

She was a receptionist and too hot for me.
40 years last March. She could do better but I couldn't.
Nothing's like meat-space, but whatever.

Greg the Class Traitor said...

Mason G said...
"Single women approaching middle age..." said Rebecca Holloway, 42.

"Approaching"? At 42, you're there. If you're willing to lie to yourself, it shouldn't come as too big of a surprise to find that others are willing, too.


That would be their fundamental problem. They're lying about that, they're lying about their "market value" (when you're a 6, you can chase after 8s. But they're just going to use you for sex, or for your money).

If you won't catch yourself lying to you, what makes you think you can catch anyone else lying to you?

Greg the Class Traitor said...

Big Mike said...
I'm glad you took my comment as the friendly amendment it was intended to be

JK Brown said...

"Well, aren't we all "so vulnerable" to a "good-looking" person who offers love? "

Well, yes, but if male, you have to be extremely gullible not to have learned never to trust beyond your level women. The scams start in middle school.

And by middle age, a man should be over the idea of finding a decent woman if he hasn't already. Not impossible, but skepticism should reign.

"A man's got to know his limitations"

todd galle said...

I considered myself middle aged at 40, two kids, a mortgage, dog, etc. Given my family history, it seems a reasonable estimate of life expectancy, and nearing 60, I've accepted it. We'll have been married 34 years in December, have the kids over most Sundays after church (all members and in the choir) for dinner and game night. Now, I'm a happy guy mostly, I simply can't understand why somebody would toss this away, regardless of some temporary disaffection. My wife is also still as hot as when we married.

Tina848 said...

HAs no one seen the "Heiress" with Betty Davis. Her dad tries to tell her he is after the money, but she is too in love to see it.

Same story, same ending, no one learns.

Roadkill711 said...

How do you write about single women approaching middle age so well?

I think of a man, then take away reason and accountability..

Mutaman said...


Blogger Tina848 said...

"HAs no one seen the "Heiress" with Betty Davis. Her dad tries to tell her he is after the money, but she is too in love to see it.

Same story, same ending, no one learns."

Not Betty Davis, -Olivia de Havilland.

Oligonicella said...

The term "splooge stooge" appears to be a double edged sword.

Sort of reduces its efficacy as a slur against men, n'est-ce pas?

Lee Moore said...

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife"

As Althouse reminds us, there is no new thing under the sun.

Robert Cook said...

"I considered myself middle aged at 40...."

40 years old is middle-aged. As of 2020, the average life span of US citizens was 77.28, so the late 30s is middle-aged.

bagoh20 said...

The biggest problem today is that most women just don't like a good man. It's just like your diet. In both cases, you need to train yourself to like what's good for you long term.