May 30, 2023

The possibility that "grandma" has become a slur, to be replaced by neologisms like "Gaga" and "Abba."

40 comments:

Jake said...

Vanity.

J L Oliver said...

Funny Abba means father, so gender-bender mam-ma. Again with the inventing things that people have done for eons but now for egotistical reasons.

Enigma said...

Narcissism and "first-world issues" indeed took over society by the 1960s. Twiggy is a perfect choice of advocate-of-trivia.

Lady Gaga is likely offended that these old folks stole her name. But someday she'll be known as:

"Gaga Gaga"

The members of the band Abba will be known as:

"Abba's Abbas"

jaydub said...

The two best days of my life were October 24, 1970 when I became a father and September 9, 1999 when I became a grandfather.

I feel sorry for her grandchildren.

mikee said...

My mother became "Bubba" to her first few grandchildren because one of them thought "Grandma" was too hard to say as a toddler. Bubba stuck, and there are now over 2 dozen grandkids and half a dozen greats who know her as Bubba. Is this any worse than Glam Ma? I don't think so.

gilbar said...

if they don't like being called a grandmother, they should just use the more specific term:
Dried Out Old Hag

Mike (MJB Wolf) said...

We unexpectedly became grandparents young (early forties) and would travel with the first two to expose them to the West Coast. My wife too was not eager to be called grandma or the alternative little Becca came up with at two “Grandma Doggy” because my wife always had dogs and cats. When the grandkids were about nine and six we took a long Jeep excursion up the coast and back down through the giant redwoods. At some point my better half got tired of hearing “grandma!” and came up with “G-Cat” as her substitute for that and for the longer “Grandma-Doggy” that Becca had made up. Those were good times! The grandkid pool has grown to five since then but 20 years later Sandy still has the G-Cat nickname although she likes Grandma too now. Man it’s been about ten years since anyone told me “You’re too young to be a grandpa!” Cause now I’m not.

BG said...

It's up to each individual family and what they prefer and what the little ones can pronounce.
I'm "nana." (Like the last two syllables in banana.) All previous grandmothers in my family were always Grandma.
Twiggy can just climb up a tree for all I care.

RigelDog said...

I recently became a grandmother. I don't like the title Grandma mainly because it's an unappealing word by its sound. In my hillbilly family, you can be called Mamaw but that's also not a lyrical word. If I had to choose a version of Grandmother, I would go for Grammy.

Ultimately I chose Mimsey as my grandmother-name, because that's what our son, sua sponte, started calling me when he was a young teen. Also, I'm pretty whimsical so Mimsey feels right to me.

Sydney said...

Please tell me Twiggy is the lady on the left.

Rocco said...

Never heard of this trend around here, must just be a thing among the British chattering class.

While my family uses grandma the most, Nona/Nonna and Nana/Nanna were common terms of affection, too.

Narayanan said...

Old age always has slurring effect on speaker??

Narayanan said...

Needed: etymology for slurring!!

Iman said...

gaGA!

FFS

RigelDog said...

I looked at a bit of the video---what on Earth are they even fighting about? Twiggy comes off as too defensive and a little mean, and the woman confronting her comes off as protesting too much.

Ice Nine said...

British accents all talking over each other gave me little idea of what was being discussed. But I'm glad to see that Twiggy finally ate something.

Randomizer said...

Blogger mikee said...
My mother became "Bubba" to her first few grandchildren because one of them thought "Grandma" was too hard to say as a toddler.

For the same reason, my dad was known as "Pump" because "Grandpa" was too hard to say for the first grand-baby. When he got into his early teens, he realized that sounded dumb, and switched to calling my dad "Grandpa".

There is some logic to using "Bubba" or "Gaga". As people routinely live into their eighties, a child can have grandparents and great-grandparents. Using a unique nickname for an elder is respectful and convenient.

Wilbur said...

You doesn't has to call me Johnson.

wildswan said...

At least, they learn a special name for a grandmother. For some reason, "Aunt" and "Cousin" have disappeared and the whole of all the younger generations simply calls me by my name. This used to seem to erase a distinction. My name, I thought, is just me, the free person. And then there's a whole web of relatives I was born into who are like a native country with native trees and flowers you always like and understand better than any other. But now I think an aunt is an aunt is an aunt despite the missing word because people make distinctions whether the word is there or not.

Kevin said...

Yet another reason provided to not have kids.

dbp said...

There may be exceptions but any woman who insists on "Glam Ma" is going to be the antithesis of glamorous.

It's become rare now, though it was a big fad for a while, for women, it was always women, to use an cartoon avatar on Facebook--which looked more-or-less like themselves, except much more attractive than their actual appearance. Same energy as "Glam Ma". Sad.

Narr said...

We had Granny (mom's ma) and Oma (dad's ma). The latter a slow Southern pronunciation, not the clipped German original.

Our son was my mother's first, only, and long-awaited grandchild, and we saw more of her than my M-I-L, so she was Granny (which mutated to Ganny due to my son's difficulty with the R), and we couldn't come up with anything better for my M-I-L than Mama-granny. (She already a bunch of grandkids, some already grown, to call her Granny, so she didn't care.)

Some of my friends and cousins had Mam-maws, Mee-maws, or Nanas.

Narr said...

Narayanan asks about 'slur.' That's a good question, and if I wasn't due somewhere soon I'd pursue it. The whole English lexicon from 'slo-' through 'slu-' bears comparison to the 'furl-hurl-swirl-whirl' complex. Vortex, or Strudel as the Germans would say.

Michael K said...

My sister is "Bunny" to her grandchildren, not by her choice. Probably like mikee said. Since we have a new grand daughter, she has different names for each set of grand parents.

cassandra lite said...

My wife is called "Honey" by our two-year-old grandson. I'm called "Poppy." It's not so much that "Grandma" and "Grandpa" are slurs; it's that those are what we called our grandparents. (That we are called "Mom" and "Dad" by our daughter, and that's what we called our parents, is beside the point, though I'm not sure why.)

n.n said...

A senior female carbon cluster with a labia majora.

wild chicken said...

My parent said that 50 years ago. Didn't want to be a grandma and don't call her one.

I was raised by Norma Desmond.

Ann Althouse said...

The main reason “grandma” is worth rejecting is that it’s hard for a toddler to say.

I tried to get my sons to refer to my mother as Grandma Marise but they said Mama Reese, so I ended up saying that too.

JK Brown said...

In the words of Shepard Book when called grandpa, "I never married".

That is likely the future of using grandma as a term for older women

Big Mike said...

But is there anything wrong with the term 'grandma’'?

My wife thinks not.

Ann Althouse said...

"I tried to get my sons to refer to my mother as Grandma Marise but they said Mama Reese, so I ended up saying that too."

It was hard for them to say the double "ma" and efforts to get them to do that would have them saying "ma ma ma ma reese" to humorously prove they could do it.

who-knew said...

My paternal grandmother was "nana", supposedly because she thought Grandma made her sound old. Of course, she was lying about her age well into her 70s (and fooling no one). When I became a Grandpa that's what I wanted to be called. And not Grandpa Tom, if the distinction needed to be made it should be Grandpa Trudell. I lost that battle and have become Grandpa Tom against my wishes. Still hate that use of first name, it's especially awful (IMO) when applied to Pastors. I try hard to always refer Aunts and Uncles when to talking to or about my own and doubly so when talking to my kids about their aunts and uncles.

Dustbunny said...

I’m Nancy but my husband has always called me Nano and that’s what the grandkids call me. My husband is called Lucky by them because he said he was lucky to have grandkids. In England grandmothers are often referred to as “my Nan”.

paminwi said...

My grandma name is BGE. Stands for Best Grandma Ever.
Easy for toddlers to say.
Guessing someday I’ll be known as Grandma.
I’d be good with that too!

KellyM said...

My maternal grandmother was always called Nana. But when my nieces came along the whole name thing for my mother became a THING. Since we couldn't have two Nanas in the family, my grandmother was promoted to Nana-the-Great, and plain Nana went to my mother. The funny part (at least for me) is that the moniker doesn't really fit. It would have been more appropriate to go with 'Grandmother', but she would not have been amused.

wild chicken said...

My only grandparent was a Gaga. Though my family was the only one called her that, my cousins being all dignified about it. Pffft.

When Lady Gaga came up I thought the choice of names most peculiar. Why pick an old lady name?

wild chicken said...

Remember when Hillary was going to be everyone's "abuela"?

Good times

iowan2 said...

but they said Mama Reese, so I ended up saying that too.

Yep.
Let the kids pick. One of the kids inlaws wants her first name. Grates on me a little, but them I'm not involved am I? I just want the grands to respect me and know with me its unconditional love no matter what. But I give, and expect respect. I was never by children's friend, and I don't want the be the grands friend. Just someone they trust, count on, and know they are loved.

Bunkypotatohead said...

The use of birth control would have solved her problem.

Rusty said...

Ann Althouse said...
"The main reason “grandma” is worth rejecting is that it’s hard for a toddler to say.

I tried to get my sons to refer to my mother as Grandma Marise but they said Mama Reese, so I ended up saying that too."
The adorableness is the names they interpret them as. Grampa becomes Bumpa and Grandma becomes Gammy.