Writes Charles M. Blow in "I Want to Be the Old Man With the Orange Socks" (NYT).
It made me think of that excessively popular poem that begins "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple/With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me." Full text of poem and story behind it here.
"I Want to Be the Old Man With the Orange Socks" is so close to When I am an old man I shall wear orange socks.
Not that I think Blow owes the poet a (green) hat tip.
In fact, I prefer his wording. I've always been annoyed at the "shall" in "When I am an old woman I shall wear purple." A poet should understand the shall/will distinction. Explained here, with the classic example comparing I shall drown; no one will save me! to I will drown; no one shall save me!
Anyway, I don't really understand it. If you "want freedom in all things: thinking, working, loving and living," why wait to express yourself? It sounds as though you want the cover of age. What's the freedom in doing something only when you think other people will think that what you do doesn't matter?
Posts
46 comments:
You don't have to pick up babes when you're old so you can ignore superficialities.
I’m pretty sure TS Eliot covered that in a much more famous poem.
It's been a life-long dream of mine to be a crazy old man standing in the middle of an intersection shaking his cane and shouting obscenities at the passing cars. I've waited 30 years for that moment, with another 30 or so years to go.
I was surprised to see Charles Blow's name on this essay. It may be the first thing he's ever written that didn't make him sound like a pompous racist jackass.
The Red Hat Society is a social club open to women aged 50+. They use red hats as a badge and conversation starter and the mysterious things of interest to older women. I think the minimum age keeps its popularity down, as frequent deaths and disabilities are guaranteed. Also, I doubt many young women would want to conform, as mating-age female fashion is concerned with getting attention and standing out from the crowd.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Hat_Society
I second the shall/will objection to that poem.
My husband's grandmother was a Red Hat person; I miss her, but I have a hard time believing she waited until she was old to be the loose cannon that she was for the entire time I knew her. I also don't see those lunch gatherings of women in red hats anymore, which leads me to believe the poem isn't as popular as it used to be.
But it does seem to me that the only socially sanctioned way to be rebellious when old, as a woman at least, is to act stereotypically much younger than you are - to wear a revealing bathing suit or skinny jeans in your 70s, to take public note of beefcake, to drive a sportscar too fast. (But you had better have kept up with your skincare routine, because you will be judged.) Or to act stereotypically male - to drink beer in quantity, to watch The Fights or follow whatever sport or team, stuff like that.
It would be truly eccentric, ISTM, to decide to be old in the manner of the early 20th century or before - to wear a mourning-black dress at all times (because colors are inappropriate), to sit, constantly, in a rocking chair, to open and close the day with readings from the scripture of your choice, to knit...
So you're saying that Charles Blow is an example of a human who chooses to misappropriate someone else's writing just as casually as ChatGPT? No surprise that he writes for the NY Times. Which brings me to the question I can no longer keep from asking you...exactly why do you persist in obsessively reading that newspaper when it is unarguably dishonest in so many ways, large and small?
You speak of growing old, dressing oddly and drowning? Prufrock!
I grow old ... I grow old ...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me.
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
"What's the freedom in doing something only when you think other people will think that what you do doesn't matter?"
Most people, especially of a certain sex, prefer security and conformity over freedom.
Life lesson #23, to be learned before turning old: other people think that what you do doesn't matter.
The old man wears suspenders because his arthritis keeps him from succeeding with a belt buckle, and orange socks because his sight has faded.
Sartorial whimsy is more likely due to physical limitations. Maybe the bow tie wearer really doesn't want to be that man, but something forced him into that choice.
It may be the first thing he's ever written that didn't make him sound like a pompous racist jackass.
Really?? I see this as virtue signaling.
Charles Blow wrote that? Surprising. Getting old does release us (somewhat) of the demand of the group. Somewhat, as I said. But the group is very powerful. People would rather turn back into a burning building than jump naked into a net of safety held by a gawking crowd. It all depends on whether one’s superego outpowers their id. In white, western, college-educated culture, it usually does. And that’s why I haven’t seen orange socks on an older white person who isn’t homeless in a long time.
I don't understand the objection to "I shall wear purple". Isn't it meant to sound like the command of a regent? From the Wikipedia article at your link: "In statements, shall has the specific use of expressing an order or instruction, normally in elevated or formal register."
My experience of the Red Hat ladies is from the restaurant business. They are extremely demanding and they tip poorly. There are exceptions, of course, but this is certainly the stereotype. They aren't as bad as AA groups, but really, how could they be? Wait staff are NOT pleased to see a gaggle of Red Hats arrive, I can tell you that.
Another restaurant rule of thumb: Thousand Island dressing and well done steak = bad tip.
"I want freedom in all things: thinking, working, loving and living."
Well, that is a nice idea but let's think about this just a bit more. The truth is that we all have freedom in all the choices we make. So far, so good.
The more sobering truth is that none of us get freedom from actually making choices. Even no choice is a choice that throws away time. Someone wiser than me has observed that delay is a delusion.
And the final related truth is more difficult for us to admit and accept - the most sobering truth - which is that none of us have freedom from the consequences of our choices. This may be the most ignored truth of our time - a reckless, almost willful, ignoring that the consequences of our choices actually do, inescapably, follow our choices.
Does Mr. Blow's hunger for freedom from all things include freedom from the consequences of his choices? My presumption is that is does, because don't we all hunger for that?
But it just doesn't seem to be possible, without some intervention. (I pray for mercy; I don't pray for justice.)
Blowhard probably thinks the mermaids will sing to him, each to each.
Charles Blow preaches hatred toward people like me, but he demonstrates here he can actually offer a thoughtful observation when he's not ginning up a mob.
tim maguire:l @ 8:26: “ I was surprised to see Charles Blow's name on this essay. It may be the first thing he's ever written that didn't make him sound like a pompous racist jackass.”
I share your surprise at seeing his name, but on reflection I think this writing is characteristic of him: maybe not racist (although for him everything is racist) but certainly pompous and jackassy.
“Jackassy” is my nonce word. Feel free to use it with attribution.
"The old man wears suspenders because his arthritis keeps him from succeeding with a belt buckle"
Some of us use them to keep our holsters up.
Keep it simple: 'shall' (or, of late, 'will') for 1st person; 'will' for 2nd and 3rd.
"Will' with 1st seems normal informal now but, for me anyway, hearing 'shall' with 2nd and 3rd has always been, and remains, fingernails on the blackboard. My "Fowler's" - admittedly, an old one - illustrates several arcane exceptions for the 'shall' with 2nd and 3rd prohibition but Fowler also admonishes: "But the follies to which "elegant variation" (of 'shall' and 'will') give rise are without number."
Old and Slow … write a blog post on tipping patterns you have observed and please link me to it. I had a former student tell me about local tipping patterns which was highly instructive. Two takeaways: the worst tippers : Amish. The best: middle-aged white men.
The reason for quirky dress is because old men want to be comfortable and because they don't give a damn what other people think.
They're retired or are well-established in their profession...they've made their money and their mark.
@M Jordan: WSJ had a piece today about an 80 yr old man whose 2nd career is his dream job as a nude model for art students.
Somehow, Charles Blow is missing the point.
Googling him, he is a reasonably good looking guy, but in every photo, he's wearing a dark suit and a solid color necktie. He will never be "one of those men with the quirky suspenders, bow ties and orange socks" because he doesn't have any sartorial whimsy now.
The people with style express it within the confines of the uniform.
A philosophy of conservativism through self-moderation and optimization.
"exactly why do you persist in obsessively reading that newspaper when it is unarguably dishonest in so many ways, large and small?"
Because it's exceedingly influential with lots of powerful people?
And because there are islands of interest and usefulness?
The old man wears suspenders because his arthritis keeps him from succeeding with a belt buckle,
And here I thought it was too keep his pants from falling down.
Seriously, if the old man can't deal with a belt buckle, how does he deal with the suspender buttons?
And why do some firemen wear red suspenders while others wear blue suspenders?
John Henry
Tim,
You might be able to get on the payroll at Laguna Beach.
They used to pay a guy to do that. No obscenity though iirc.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eiler_Larsen
tim maguire #2: Read my mind.
It's weird that he would lie about something so trivial. But it's Chuckie Blow, so you know it's a lie.
"I’ve often been delighted by how older men lean into sartorial whimsy.... They return to that magic that we all enjoyed as children.... "
So true. This retiree just bought a pair of train engineer's bib overalls And as kid I watched Lunch with Casey", Monday through Saturday at noon.
Huh, I didn't know the Red Hat Society was still around. Many years again I happened to be out somewhere and a group of these ladies happened to arrive. I physically winced at the goofiness and was rather surprised at their behavior. They'd reverted to being a bunch of loud junior high school girls intent on making their presence known. Ugh.
In terms of older men's sartorial choices, one thing I would celebrate wholeheartedly: trim your damned eyebrows! when you have more hair there than on your head you need to step it up.
That observation and link to the Shall/Will delineation is an example of one of the reasons I return to this blog every day, a thing that makes it interesting and worthwhile to me to visit. So, though I usually only comment when goaded by a contentious opinion, I shall take this moment to compliment Althouse, shalln't I? I shall. I will. I shill. Thank you, Althouse- Appreciate you!
Now you have inserted an ear worm in the form of Dolly Parton's 'Coat of Many Colors'.
https://youtu.be/c1zJzr-kWsI
Thanks :(
The poet is using “shall” in the same sense as Winston Churchill: "We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”
Clearly, that’s imperative not expective, perhaps more of a promise than a command. I’m sorry if that doesn’t conform to the grammar rule that was drilled into you while you were rebelling against the skirt length rule. That grammar rule does have a distinguished history. The U.S. Constitution uses “shall” 306 times, “may” 44 times, and “will” 3 times, which includes 2 times in the oath of office:
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
Wikipedia traces the rule back to a 1653 book on English grammar by the mathematician John Wallis. He was born in Kent, and that may explain it. ‘Henry Watson Fowler wrote in his book The King's English (1906), regarding the rules for using shall vs. will, the comment "the idiomatic use, while it comes by nature to southern Englishmen ... is so complicated that those who are not to the manner born can hardly acquire it".’ Fowler was also born in Kent.
One can imagine the idiomatic use originating in the arbitrary capriciousness of some Kentish lord: When I say “you shall” you have to do it but when I say “I shall” I don’t have to do it.
is this plagiarism or best form of flattery by Charles Blow to Dolly Parton?
coat of many colors dolly parton song
He was Laguna Beach’s town greeter, John Henry. A happy old man who didn’t shout obscenities.
We visit there for a week each year, stay in a nice place and enjoy all the sunshine and great food!
"I want to be ... "
Why wait?
But now I am Six,
I'm as clever as clever,
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.
Now We Are Six by A.A. Milne
My dad says as long as they let him wear onions on his belt, he's good.
Black men who work in professional settings tend to be very conservative in their dress for reasons. I worked with a CPA who would get stopped by the security desk every casual Friday but if he wore a suit he'd get frosty looks from the partners. The long haired white guy who had a tattoo and always wore a patterned shirt never had a problem.
You often post stuff like this, about people striving to be free, who think that destroying the normal is the only way to do it.
there is a Filipino expression about this: Walan Hiya: without shame, a person who ignored the expectations of society and the feelings of those around him.
So destroy the rules and you have freedom.
But what comes after they destroy the normal? An epidemic of depressed, anorexic teenage girls?
CJinPA said...
"Charles Blow preaches hatred toward people like me, but he demonstrates here he can actually offer a thoughtful observation when he's not ginning up a mob."
So who hacked his account?
He was Laguna Beach’s town greeter, John Henry. A happy old man who didn’t shout obscenities.
Yup. I lived in Laguna Beach for a couple months in 1966. He was out there every day. I even spoke to him a time or two.
John Henry
there is a Filipino expression about this: Walan Hiya: without shame, a person who ignored the expectations of society and the feelings of those around him.
"Sin verguenza" in Spanish, at least in Puerto Rico.
John Henry
I have become consumed with the idea of freedom, with running toward it, with embracing it.
Really? Do you oppose cancel culture? Do you oppose censoring "misinformation" and "disinformation"?
If your "freedom" isn't for everybody, then it's not "freedom", it's just "license"
Ann: since you peruse Reddit, I urge you to take a look at r/oldhagfashion. Very relevant to this post. It takes the idea that once a person gets to a certain age, they wear whatever the fuck they want in terms of fashion, color, or patterns - mixing and matching. Lots of creativity and just plain fun. Redditors post pictures of themselves in their latest fashion combinations. Very entertaining and very welcoming. So far have seen only encouragement, or constructive critiques of outfits if the OP requests it. It has become one of my favorite subreddits.
Post a Comment