That is the question, per "When Someone You Love Is Upset, Ask This One Question/Offering support can be tricky, but experts say this technique helps" (NYT).
Each option — an embrace, thoughtful but solicited advice or an empathetic ear — has the power to comfort and calm. Receiving a hug from your partner increases levels of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and helps dial down stress. There’s evidence that being heard, known as “high-quality listening,” can reduce defensiveness during difficult and intimate conversations. And some research suggests that couples who give each other supportive advice have higher relationship satisfaction.
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20 comments:
It's the NYT's cry for help.
These are questions I would ask of an acquaintance. For a relative or close friend I would expect to be able to figure that out without asking.
My instinct in most cases (depending on that person's opinion on hugging) is to do all three in sequence: Hug, hear, help.
Empathetic, condescending treatment may aggravate the situation. Ask this one question: should the person be handled or respected? Trafficked and exploited with special, peculiar, and profit motives? Is mom's boyfriend an illegal alien, a pedophile, a rape-rapist? Is the neighbor a celebrity with a casting couch?
I am reminded of the vid youtube "its not about the nail"
Yeah, whatever. Just be sure to not bump the nail when you hug her...
Fellated is not an option?
Aided, abetted, and... stop handling me. A public service announcement advising girls visiting presidents, celebrities, [casting couch] directors, Planned Parenthood advisors, mom's illegal alien boyfriend, the boy who identifies as a girl, the socially progressive male, etc.
You know what this sounds like? A solution for someone in an abusive relationship. Ask the question so you don't get hit because you did the wrong thing.
It's Not About The Nail
If I heard that question too many times, I'd become seriously annoyed.
Hug? Ugh. Hear? It depends. Help? It depends.
I'm good at looking concerned, without really giving much of a shit usually.
The three H's!
Why, just down the alphabet are the three L's.
Listened to, Loved, or Left alone.
There is a tiger behind one of those doors. Choose wisely.
I always give/want a hug.
I wanna be sedated - The Ramones.
Yeah, whatever. Just be sure to not bump the nail when you hug her...
I haven't thought about that video in years......
This is an awkward reference to juice, squeeze, and is the juice worth the squeeze. Orange you glad you had the Evian.
It would seem that Chuck Schumer and Mitch McConnell must hug each other a lot. Both of them have to deal constantly with hundreds of self-aggrandizing weasels.
Held, hurt, or mugged.
I would prefer that concern be shown with a generous cash donation. In lieu of that, paint my house.
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