It's almost as though you don't even need a kitchen anymore. You can relive the carefree days of your youth, when you lived in a dorm... or a single-room-occupancy hotel.
I know, it's in the form of a comic, so you might want to say, they're just kidding. But it's in comic form to make it fun and easy to read. It's all serious suggestions for bypassing the demon appliance that you're not replacing. If they were joking, there would be some outlandish suggestions, something more Rube Goldberg than the butcher-block/hot plate arrangement.
Here's a serious/not serious suggestion of mine: Switch to a raw-food diet and just don't cook at all. It would probably be good for your health, and it would save you an awful lot of time.
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71 comments:
"Switch to a raw-food diet and just don't cook at all. It would probably be good for your health, and it would save you an awful lot of time."
Enjoy the pathogens.
These anti gas stove people are absolutely nuts.
If you rub your food hard enough it will cook itself.
Silly!
And, shouldn’t you turn off all knobs before you shut off the gas? WaPo, do better.
Stove? Who needs a stinking stove? Order pizza for delivery in the true college tradition.
Ann, as far as the raw diet thingie, very few people could emulate your Whole Foods lifestyle.
parody is dead
Sarcasm is dead
murdered by stupid
Another way to identify cult followers.
Or maybe just seek therapy and learn enough about science that you can tell when an "experiment" has been unrealistically structured to produce a particular desired outcome.
Things to be afraid of:
—your gas stove
—people not wearing a surgical mask
—droughts, floods, hurricanes and tornadoes due to global warming
Things not to be afraid of:
—escalating confrontation in Europe with a nuclear power
—sexual encounters with semi-strangers as long as all parties involved give affirmative consent
—life changing hormonal or surgical gender affirming care after a cursory evaluation by a therapist
“O Judgment ! Thou art fled to brutish beasts, and men have lost their reason.”
Next: Worried about your gas water heater, but not ready to replace it? Warm up a big pot of water on your hot plate.......
Willful regression. We are heading back to the standard of living or our grandparents.
Like so many things, even when the science flips and tells us it is nonsense, we keep doing it. e.g. COVID masking, ethanol, plastic recycling.
Things to be afraid of:
—your gas stove
—people not wearing a surgical mask
—droughts, floods, hurricanes and tornadoes due to global warming
Things not to be afraid of:
—escalating confrontation in Europe with a nuclear power
—sexual encounters with semi-strangers as long as all parties involved give affirmative consent
—life changing hormonal or surgical gender affirming care after a cursory evaluation by a therapist
“O Judgment ! Thou art fled to brutish beasts, and men have lost their reason.”
Lucky for me that I’m not worried about my gas appliances or my diet.
I am, however, worried about those who would seek to impose their narcissistic worries on me and those who have an internal drive to control others.
Do the idiot leftists in the audience understand this?
I am convinced that progressives have brain damage.
I see I’ve wandered into an irony-free zone once again.
"Well, I asked for something to eat
I’m hungry as a hog
So I get brown rice, seaweed
And a dirty hot dog"
Why is this even a thing? (Rhetorical)
The goal of climate cultists is a lowered standard of living.
No one is “worried” about their gas stoves. Instead they are now clinging to them like their guns and religion.
Gas stoves are the plastic straws of 2023.
Properly used, they are useful and not at all harmful.
Misuse them and there is the potential for harm.
Discard your straw properly, all is good. Same if you have a minimally ventilated kitchen (the study that showed stoves harmful had the test kitchen completely wrapped in plastic, just like every kitchen /s.
Is there anything that cannot be made harmful if sufficiently abused?
It's gaslighting(!) all the way down.
I’m not worried about my gas cooktop, but I’m planning on replacing it with a better one soon. The contractor-grade GE unit they put in my home 10 years ago is a bit lacking in BTUs. I want a more powerful one.
Why no, I’m not worried about my gas stove. But thank you for asking!
“Lawnerd said...
I am convinced that progressives have brain damage.”
A person doesn’t have to have brain damage to believe the foolish things progressives do, but I’m sure it would help.
Babylon Bee hardest hit.
Uh. No.
It seems like everyone is just making fun of the idiots that still believe the climate change cult crap.
Curious George said...
"Switch to a raw-food diet and just don't cook at all. It would probably be good for your health, and it would save you an awful lot of time."
Enjoy the pathogens.
Locally sourced meat and other foods take a lot less cooking than things you buy in the grocery store.
"I see I’ve wandered into an irony-free zone once again."
Or there is a layer beyond the trivially obvious fact that this is a joke, to talk about what is behind the joke. I can see how people who are literal minded would have a hard time understanding the conversation, and imagine that people talking about what the overly literal minded cannot see must be stupid. It all goes back to the rule that you can't prove a negative. I know you can't follow that point. Whatever.
normally, i ask serious questions, but this morning i have a
SERIOUS ANSWER... IF you are SO CONCERNED about the environment, that you're worried about your gas stove and want to replace it.. Just KILL Yourself! The World, will Thank You!!!
"It's almost as though you don't even need a kitchen anymore." You can take all your meals at your local Federal Peoples' Refectory. (If your ID and ration card are in order.)
The dumbest thing about that whole article, and it is a tough competition, is calling a hot plate an induction cooktop.
Sad that Althouse is giving up her gas stove because the authorities are coming for it. Very sad. We Baby Boomers lived in the Golden Age … post-war, pre-woke America when it was not a sin to be white, to buy cars, to chase wealth. We Baby Boomers are now destroying it all because we can’t deal with our success. We are living out a great tragic drama which we wrote and acted in. Perhaps when the protagonist’s tragic flaw is self-discovered — hint: it’s attempting to cover our shame with fig leaf virtues — and when he has plucked out his own eyes and thrust his knife deep into his own chest, order will be restored and a coming generation will get to rise up. Until then, there’s gas stoves to haul to the landfill.
Climate change = Doing without. (Does not apply to those lefties who have nothing going in)
The old joke: What did Californians use to light their homes prior to candles? Electricity.
The update: What did lefties use to cook their food prior to hot plates*? Gas stoves.
*Does not apply to the uber wealthy, trust fund kids or the French Laundry restaurant.
West TX Intermediate Crude said...
It's gaslighting(!) all the way down.
There you go! gaslighting(!) if we get rid of gas (and oil (and coal (and wood (and nuclear (and hydro (and biofuel (and solar (and wind )))))))).. We will be able to GET RID of YOU!
Get rid of the kitchen, use the space for something else. You don't need a room full of cooking-things if you're just going to gnaw on a carrot or a rutabaga.
Raw food? Carpaccio is so time consuming.
I'm light of the dangers of my head stove, I've started cooking on the engine of my car. Wrap the food in foil, out it in the engine, drive around until done. Do not do this in an enclosed garage.
Gas stove, not head stove. Damn autocorrect.
From Zero Hedge:
Germany: 'Last Generation' Climate Protesters Miss Court Date Because They Flew To Bali"
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/germany-last-generation-climate-protesters-miss-court-date-because-they-flew-bali
Are they this stupid or do they assume we are?
Locally sourced meat and other foods take a lot less cooking than things you buy in the grocery store.
WTF! A locally sourced egg cooks exactly like one from a farm farther away unless your “local” hen is really an ostrich. Then it takes more cooking!
Follow me on Twitter for more quick fix cricket meals you can make on a hot plate.
I have a friend and classmate in Santa Barbara. About 20 years ago their house was destroyed in a huge brush fire. When they were ready to rebuild, his wife asked the architect if they could build the new house without a kitchen. She would not have a problem giving up her gas stove. The architect told her the house would not be salable with no kitchen so they have one. He also blabbed about the client who didn't want a kitchen. She was pretty famous in town for a while. I was out to dinner with them soon after the new house was finished and women in the restaurant were pointing her out. I couldn't tell if it was shock or envy. She didn't care.
"Sad that Althouse is giving up her gas stove because the authorities are coming for it...."
What makes you think I have a gas stove? I haven't had a gas stove since 1986.
This brings back memories for me! When I was an out of control drug addict, I had no natural gas at my house (OK, when things were really bad for a couple of years, I also had no electricity) I did my cooking on a hotplate perched on the cistern of my toilet and washed my dished in the bathtub. It really wasn't so bad. I had 4 large 1 gallon electric kettles that I had somehow acquired. I also used them for my baths. This crackhead style of living is ultimately what our betters have in mind for us all.
I wish that I was making up this story. I am not. It was only 7 years ago that this was my life. I used to read Althouse with a power inverter connected to my Prius and an extension cord run into my house. Ah, the good old days!
"It's almost as though you don't even need a kitchen anymore. You can relive the carefree days of your youth, when you lived in a dorm... or a single-room-occupancy hotel."
You will own nothing and be happy.
I was married for almost 30 years to a woman who would not cook on a gas stove. She remembered the stoves from the 50's that had pilot lights that needed to be lit all the time.
We divorced 12 years ago and I married a less neurotic woman. It has been gas stoves since then. As the chef cook and bottle washer in our house, I find cooking with gas far more enjoyable than electric.
If you want to perfect cooking technique (which is mostly what makes the French great cooks), you need gas (and high quality pots and pans).
You'll be allowed warm up your Cream of Cricket Soup and your Duckpond du Jour on odd days of the month and you'll be happy.
Here's how you can retrofit your TV too!
Earnest Prole says this is a joke and the negative commenters are missing the irony.
Maybe he's right.
It's the WaPo. How would anybody know whether it is a joke or not?
PB said...
These anti gas stove people are absolutely nuts.
-
Prepare for the summer riots.
Hot plates are one of the biggest causes of burns and hone fires.
Use a portable induction unit.
Or- just ignore the silly advice and keep using your perfectly good gas unit.
"If you’ve been following the debate about gas stoves, you might be reassessing how you cook."
There is no question that article was serious. The opening sentence gives it away. I understand that to mean there never was a debate, but you better start being creeped out by natural gas.
The casual illustrations are meant to soften the autocratic orders.
It is currently impossible to differentiate parody from reality when it comes to the woke. The woke are not only extreme, but also they seem to have no grasp of irony, history, comedy, general knowledge, or cringe. They wouldn't know who Rube Goldberg was if he rose from the grave and bit them on their collective asses.
It’s going to be tough for white, suburban, upper middle-class, female blue state voters to go along with this one. They will have to submit to disrupting their fancy, expensive kitchens. But terror of being out of step with whatever the new thing is will cause them all to go along with it. Karen will never be out of step with the current thing. Too risky.
Well, if it really is about home air quality then the only solution is not do any cooking in the home. It's the oils, on everything, that are vaporized regardless of how they are heated.
Here's a home IAQ specialist on the gas stove "issue". Any real solution is proper venting of the cooking area, with make up air. Just like restaurants.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWDM6pv_flc
"his wife asked the architect if they could build the new house without a kitchen."
Been 20+ years now, but they were going to renew the university oceanographic research ship fleet (UNOLS) that are built and paid for via the DoD. So they brought together the researchers and scientists from many universities to design a new ship. The worked and argued and came up with a plan. Lots of lab space and near luxury scientific party accommodations. It was only then that they permitted the merchant marine masters and engineers in the room. They perused the plans for a bit till one old grizzled chief marine engineer quietly asked, "Where's the engine room?" Moral of the story, don't let academic PhDs design things that have to work in the real world.
>>I've started cooking on the engine of my car. Wrap the food in foil, out it in the engine, drive around until done.
That was a running joke on at least one episode of Wings. I think it was Lowell who came up with the name: "carbeque."
--gpm
Hunter Biden's tax payer funded Hooker said:
Do the idiot leftists in the audience understand this?
So HBtpfH likes Bill Maher when the comedian said:
"What happened to: 'I can read whatever the fuck I want'".
That goes against Ron DeSantis' book ban efforts, doncha know?
And Trump doesn't like Maher. In 2013, Trump unsuccessfully sued the comedian for suggesting his father was actually an orangutan. Maher also said of Trump, “He’s a fat fucking fuck.”
Ten days ago on Truth Social, the non-conservative FG composed:
"… Bill Maher is a Low Ratings sleazebag who should never be shown on a Conservative Network. He doesn’t believe in anything we stand for, and never will. He’s laughing at you for being weak and stupid!"
That article is not intended to be satiric at all.
Have kids with asthma and can't afford to get a new stove that doesn't release methane in your poorly ventilated kitchen?
Fuck off cuck lib!
Live in Florida, have an electric stove (vast majority), want to buy another?
Fuck off cuck lib!
More fodder for my "strategic decision to be assholes" theory of Republicans.
lgv,
"We are heading back to the standard of living of our grandparents."
Abdul,
"The goal of climate cultists is a lowered standard of living."
You guys are headed in the right direction, but you don't go nearly far enough. It's not our grandparents' standard they're after, it's Middle Ages one. It's not a lowering of the standard, it's a devastation of it.
Repeat after me: "A medieval standard of energy usage implies a medieval level of population." In other words, it's a 95% die off that they are after.
Ann Althouse said...
"Sad that Althouse is giving up her gas stove because the authorities are coming for it...."
What makes you think I have a gas stove? I haven't had a gas stove since 1986.
************
Could it be that your loss of smell makes you indifferent to cooking?
(asked in all seriousness and respect)
Daniel12 has quickly become the biggest asshole in this board.
Well deserved, Dr. Strawman.
"Any real solution is proper venting of the cooking area..."
My house was built in 1925 and the windows are original issue. Don't need no "proper venting".
If we all just order takeout and have it delivered by EV we'll save the planet in no time.
The contractor-grade GE unit they put in my home 10 years ago is a bit lacking in BTUs.
I used my new 18,000 BTU burner tonight for a pound of spaghetti strings and over a gallon of water. It returned to a boil much faster than my old one did, which I thought was 15k but might have been 12k. That one usually needed a lid and constant watching to stop boilovers. The only problem is the 12" pot in the center crowds other pots and puts more heat on them.
sadsdsad
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Homo Sapiens became big-brained homo sapiens by *cooking* its food.
Also: cooking is a *wonderful* pastime. I do it and love it. I use a combination gas/induction stove top that I designed myself. I like both. (I honestly feel pity for those that don’t appreciate food and cooking. Like not appreciating art. But I guess I ought to keep that to myself....)
The basic truth of toxicology is "that dose makes the poison." There is nothing emitted by a properly functioning and properly used gas stove that is going to harm a human. This is the dumbest conversation anyone could be having. Yet, this past weekend I spoke with several intelligent people who casually mentioned the dangers of cooking on a gas stove. We are doomed as a people.
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