Althouse: Sometimes the menu suggests a process of elimination.

February 20, 2023

Sometimes the menu suggests a process of elimination.

Seen yesterday in Hell's Kitchen.

You know, in English, we use the word "noodle" for the body part that is the brain. But other body parts are more noodly!

58 comments:

BarrySanders20 said...: James Lilek's Gallery of Regrettable Food is one of the funniest books I've ever read. I laughed to the point of tears such that my wife had to check several times to make sure everything was alright. Available on Amazon thru the AA link!; 2/20/23, 9:04 AM
RideSpaceMountain said...: The only thing that looks remotely interesting is the Xiangchang Mian. Sweetbreads are the true mark of an authentic workers paradise. The better cuts got sent to Beijing.; 2/20/23, 9:06 AM
Wince said...: Now we know why it's called Hell's Kitchen?; 2/20/23, 9:06 AM
Wilbur said...: I'll try anything once.

I won't eat olives, baked potatoes, corn bread or muffins, sprinkles and a few other things, including 80% of my wife's cooking. She's not culinarily gifted. Luckily, I am.; 2/20/23, 9:33 AM
Quaestor said...: I have no idea what alimentary paste is, but I suspect…no, I hope it’s one of those translation flukes that seem unavoidable whenever a text that originates in Chinese or Japanese makes its way into English by way of an unmotivated translator.; 2/20/23, 9:56 AM
cubanbob said...: I'll stick to the chicken. Fortunately for me, I can afford to live high on the hog.; 2/20/23, 10:13 AM
planetgeo said...: Almost as much stomach-churning decision-making as some of the ballots we've seen in the last couple of elections. And frankly, the country would likely be doing better under the leadership of "Aromatic Intestines Noodle".; 2/20/23, 10:19 AM
narciso said...: the offerings of the food replicator were not labeled,; 2/20/23, 10:24 AM
Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...: Me? Walks out door looks for pizza.; 2/20/23, 10:24 AM
Wilbur said...: Not to deprive Lileks of a book sale, but a lot of Regrettable Food stuff is on his website, which I visit daily.
https://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/index.html
Very funny stuff, if you appreciate his sense of humor.; 2/20/23, 10:35 AM
Heartless Aztec said...: Better than insects.; 2/20/23, 10:38 AM
Just some rando on the interwebz said...: If Bovine stomach is anything like crispy pork belly, I would totally give it a try.; 2/20/23, 10:50 AM
Narr said...: Truth in advertising. I might try some Aromatic Intestine Noodle myself, as long as they don't use MSG.; 2/20/23, 11:00 AM
n.n said...: body part... noodly... menu... elimination

That hits too close to home. Some areas of Asia have been known to practice cannibalism following abortion of their little "burdens". In the West: clinical cannibalism with empathetic apologies for medical progress.; 2/20/23, 11:03 AM
Fred Drinkwater said...: Alimentary paste is basically pasta of any sort.; 2/20/23, 11:05 AM
Fred Drinkwater said...: Hell's bells. Gnat Lileks must be, what, 30 now? I remember when she was born. I am SO old.; 2/20/23, 11:07 AM
Jamie said...: Pretty much translation problems combined with low-social-tier food. "Haggis," "black pudding," "boudin," "sweetbreads," "menudo," even "fajitas" -traditionally made from the diaphragm muscle of the cow - all at least less-unappetizing words for food that, if translated into anatomical terms, nobody would want. (I am aware that a lot of people already don't want haggis, for instance. But black pudding is delicious!); 2/20/23, 11:07 AM
Rusty said...: Wilbur said...
"I'll try anything once.

I won't eat olives, baked potatoes, corn bread or muffins, sprinkles and a few other things, including 80% of my wife's cooking. She's not culinarily gifted. Luckily, I am."
Unfortunately my wife is Julia Childe in the bedroom as well.
Ditto the chicken.; 2/20/23, 11:10 AM
Saint Croix said...: I love "noodle" for the brain. "I'm gonna noodle it!"

other body parts are more noodly

ha ha ha ha ha

I can't think of any noodly parts on my body. Like spaghetti? You got me. You body experts tell me what's noodly.

(It better not be the "vulva" because that word already creeps me out, I will always be a "vagina" man).

"Vulva" makes me think of really ugly cheese for some damn reason. You want some vulva on your cracker? No, I don't.

A body part word that I like that women have and I do not are "fallopian tubes." And they get tied, sometimes. So maybe that's like spaghetti. You ladies are going to have to help me out. I'm Clueless on this one. No Clue for me!

And I apologize if I Monopolize a thread. I had no idea that playing board games was so dangerous!; 2/20/23, 11:19 AM
Wa St Blogger said...: Say it in French and anything sounds delicious. Sort of like Au Jus. Which simply means with Juice. I'm sure saying Bovine intestine in French would make it sound Michilin star quality.; 2/20/23, 11:28 AM
0_0 said...: I wonder if Lileks noticed Gerald Freid’s passing this weekend.; 2/20/23, 11:31 AM
Saint Croix said...: I can't even tell if this is a cafe post. Maybe? I've been here for, what, two decades, more or less. And I still can't tell sometimes.

Y'all may or may not remember this, but a while back Althouse was talking about the Myers-Briggs test. And she was so damn dismissive of it. She called it "pop psychology" and blah blah blah. She smacked it around a little, no biggie. She does that shit every day!

Anyway, that post left me speechless, I think. Which is kind of hard to do. Usually I'll think of some shit to say. Might not be smart, or funny, or worthwhile. But my brain is quick and I'll jump on things.

I don't remember saying shit about the "Myers-Briggs test." That's because I was taught the Myers-Briggs test back in high school. Took the damn exam and everything. And my whole fucking life, if a human being confused me, I'd run 'em through the ol' Myers-Briggs machine and try to figure out what the fuck is wrong with them.

I took the damn test back in high school and I kicked it's ass! Those psych boys are always saying, "Every answer is right. There are no wrong answers." Bullshit! And I killed it.; 2/20/23, 12:02 PM
Saint Croix said...: The first category on the Myers-Briggs test is Extraversion and Introversion. I was right in the middle. Half-and-half. That means I get along with all the extraverts and I get along with all the introverts. Boom! Let's move on.

The second category is Intuitive and the other one is Sensory. Intuitive means you are thinking up shit all day. You're one of those "life of the mind" people. All you want to do is think, think, think. And "Sensory" is a references to a human being's five senses. Sight, smell, hearing, touch, and taste. Basically, if you think humanity has five senses, you are Sensory. And if you believe in a sixth sense or a seventh sense or ESP or mind-reading or any of that shit, you're Intuitive. Again, I am half-and-half. So I would try to figure, say, Althouse out. And it would go like this. "She can't smell, and she can't taste. So she's only got three senses working. But also she doesn't pray at all, because she's agnostic. So she's not Intuitive, either." And then I'd be like, "Fuck if I know!" And I'd give up and move on. Useless!

Third category, that's pretty easy. It's the Thinkers and the Feelers. I'm half-and-half. That means I get along with everybody! It's best to be half-and-half. That's my half-ass opinion. Althouse, in case you didn't know this, is a big-time thinker. She's hard! And sometimes she can be mean on those crybabies like me. Not me so much, she's nice to me. But other crybabies, Althouse might stomp you. She'll be like, "Think, bitch! Think some more!" Anyway, I'm passionate and I'm a thinker, half-and-half, which makes me a killer in the bedroom and the boardroom. (I just made that sentence up and I love that shit!). You want to be half-and-half, I'm telling you.

So now we get to the category that kicks my ass. Perception and Judgement. In high school I think I was 100% perception and 0% judgment. I just didn't like that damn judgment! Fuck judgment, I don't want any damn judgement.

I perceive things. ("Maybe an unborn child is a human being"). And I get mad at those damn judges. "Your judgment fucking sucks!" I think God built me to destroy Roe v. Wade. You remember 1992, when Harry Blackmun tricked Anthony Kennedy into switching his vote by pulling a "feeler" on him? "Look at all my love letters, Tony! The girls love me! They write me love letters all day, thanking me for abortion! I am so popular!" And Anthony Kennedy, who is not much of a thinker in my opinion, fell for that shit. If you want to know how pissed off Kennedy is about his fucking vote switch, read the Carhart opinions sometimes. That is a seriously pissed off jurist.

Anyway, 1992 was the year that hot girl on St. Simon's Island asked me to write a pro-choice paper for her. And that was the day I woke up to the pro-life movement for real.; 2/20/23, 12:05 PM
Leland said...: Usually the smell from intestines is distinctive but not pleasant. It must not have been too bad, because you stood around long enough to take the picture. DoT would have just started a control burn of the facility and worry about the mess later.; 2/20/23, 12:17 PM
Saint Croix said...: When Althouse said it was "pop psychology," I think what she meant is that it's not exactly Dr. Freud or Nietzsche or any of those bad boys. Dr. Freud is the sex man, so that's why he's popular with quick thinkers like me. If the ladies are doing some high-class talking shit, I'd say something like, "The one I like is Dr. Freud. I don't know why." And they would giggle and whisper and shit. Believe me, Dr. Freud is your friend!

Nietzsche, I think he's the one who said, "God is dead." And Time Magazine, that idiotic fucking magazine, talk about pop fucking culture, holy shit, anyway Time Magazine read the Cliff Notes to Nietzsche, and so some idiot at that magazine thinks humanity created God, and now humanity has killed its fictional creation. Or whatever, I don't fucking read Time Magazine anymore. Those glib fuckers. I stopped reading Time in college, when I discovered The New Republic.

I tried reading Nietzsche once, I think when I was on St. Simon's Island(!)

I'm reading because I'm pissed off that he thinks God is dead and I'm trying to figure out why the fuck he thinks God keeled over and died. And -- fucker has a lot of books -- I didn't get too far into Nietzsche. Somebody else is going to have to kick Nietzsche's ass.

One time I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Nietzsche is dead," and it was a quote from God. And I'm honking my horn and shit.

When I was in law school one of my professors was a big fan of Kant. And we had to struggle with Mr. Kant for a while. That was Philosophy of Law, which was an awesome class. Trish Olson, she was a Yalie. So Kant's pretty cool. But if somebody asks me who my favorite Philosopher is today, I say, "Jesus of Nazareth." That's like the #1 most popular answer. So if you want to be popular on the Philosophy quiz, cite the guy a lot of people have read.

You might say, "hey, Jesus, that's theology, not philosophy." And I might say, "You sound like you scored high on Judging on the Myers-Briggs exam, Mr. Compartmentalization."

Anyway, that was kind of my smart-ass, shallow brain, quick brain take on Psychology, the ol' Myers-Briggs exam. Until one day Althouse blew it the fuck up. And I'm like, ouch. Pop psychology. That's like pop music, except worse.; 2/20/23, 12:24 PM
madAsHell said...: Curious, there was an updated section in front of the butcher's counter at Safeway.

It was all about noodle, and pork instant dinners. It was definitely being marketed to the Asian students at the nearby University.; 2/20/23, 12:34 PM
Iman said...: ‘ "Vulva" makes me think of really ugly cheese for some damn reason. You want some vulva on your cracker? No, I don't.’

Try the Vulveetva… this spreadable cheese tastes great on a cracker.; 2/20/23, 12:48 PM
Butkus51 said...: Who is Ray Epps?; 2/20/23, 12:53 PM
Saint Croix said...: I've never been a Terence Malick fan. His stuff is very slow and sometimes the screenplays are horrible. I did not like Badlands, for instance. His films are always beautiful but sometimes the stories are not to my taste.

But I really admired Song to Song. It's as beautiful as the rest of Malick's work. And the story was pretty wow for me, as sex is always interesting and this is a movie about sexual corruption.

#1382 in my movie book...

I’ve never been a Malick fan but this is kind of amazing. You have to be patient because it’s slow. A lot of people hate it, and I get why they hate it, but it’s a beautiful work of art. Sexy, spiritual, and intimate. I think it’s his finest work.; 2/20/23, 12:57 PM
Saint Croix said...: Bible study is good for judgment, by the way. My judgment has gotten better, and I've got more self-awareness, too. The rabbi Jesus is an excellent instructor. And his advice helps in a lot of areas (including stock investing, for instance).; 2/20/23, 1:08 PM
Saint Croix said...: ha ha ha Iman; 2/20/23, 2:02 PM
narciso said...: Romans 1 has never been more true; 2/20/23, 2:18 PM
ALP said...: If Bovine stomach is anything like crispy pork belly, I would totally give it a try.
********
It isn't. Basically flavorless, cartilage like substance. Kinda like tofu - you have to jazz it up with all kinds of other flavors to make it palatable.; 2/20/23, 2:19 PM
Earnest Prole said...: That’s the Asian version of the prized Mexican meats you can get at any authentic Roach Coach -- the Whitebread portion of the menu (carne asada, carnitas, pollo, etc) is cheap while the specialties (pork intestines, beef head, pork stomach, beef and pork tongue, bull testicles, brains, pork skin, etc) are pricier.; 2/20/23, 2:48 PM
lonejustice said...: So I'm sitting outside this afternoon with the bright sun shining and the snow finally melting, sipping on my 3rd Heineken and listening to my Bob Dylan Pandora station, and this song pops up which I haven't heard in over 20 years. Great song, but it does kinda break a good afternoon beer buzz, at least for a little while.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvZ-yq3VFL8; 2/20/23, 2:51 PM
Narr said...: Next time, try the Kebape'.; 2/20/23, 2:57 PM
Iman said...: Try the Pangolin Patties… they’re to die for!; 2/20/23, 3:07 PM
madAsHell said...: "Aromatic Intestines Noodle"

I'd like to think that something was lost in translation, but I'm pretty sure I'm wrong.; 2/20/23, 3:08 PM
madAsHell said...: In 2002, the extended family traveled to China. All the restaurant, and museum visits were carefully scripted, but I did notice one issue. The machine for mixing Slurpees was labeled "Slut Pee".; 2/20/23, 3:15 PM
effinayright said...: What makes those intestines "aromatic"?.....don't ask.; 2/20/23, 5:18 PM
Jim at said...: Hell's bells. Gnat Lileks must be, what, 30 now? I remember when she was born. I am SO old.

I could be wrong, but I think she was born in 2001. Been reading The Bleat since '98.; 2/20/23, 5:52 PM
Balfegor said...: Re: Jamie:

even "fajitas" -traditionally made from the diaphragm muscle of the cow

Wait wait wait -- the other stuff (brain, offal, blood pudding, haggis) -- I can understand being offputting, but diaphragm is a muscle, like most beef cuts, and hanger and skirt steaks are great! Do people actually find the idea of eating the diaphragm unappealing? I mean, I guess there are people who don't like anything but lean chicken breast, so I'm sure there are people like that, but is this a widespread thing?; 2/20/23, 6:53 PM
Jamie said...: Balfegor, I entirely agree about "skirt steak" - the diagram of a cow. It's delicious! Needs proper cutting, against the grain, but is more flavorful than flank. All I was saying is that if you call things by their anatomical names they can often be less appealing.

I'd venture there are more people who don't know what a diaphragm is than those who know that fajitas are made from them. Doesn't matter; I don't know what tripe tastes like and am disinclined to try it, but I recognize that that's a food prejudice I have rather than an objective judgment about a food.; 2/20/23, 8:58 PM
Narr said...: Can anyone here diaphragm a sentence?

"Diaphragm" meat just doesn't sound appealing, IMO, any more than "nose" meat and "brain" meat--and I like liver (with tons of inions).; 2/20/23, 9:20 PM
Saint Croix said...: NARR at 9:20

ha ha ha ha; 2/20/23, 10:24 PM
Saint Croix said...: lonejustice, that is a bad ass Dylan song

thanks!

(first time I've ever heard it, still listening to it); 2/20/23, 10:27 PM
Saint Croix said...: thank God spelling "judgment" is not a part of the Myers-Briggs exam.

Blogger, what the fuck! No warning when I type "judgement"?

Either way is okay?

Fucking robot.; 2/20/23, 10:45 PM
Saint Croix said...: Slut pee!

I'd almost have to try that. As long as it's not yellow.

"Can I have a Coca-cola slut pee, please?"; 2/20/23, 10:57 PM
Tina Trent said...: My aunts and mother used to weep with laughter recalling the smell of my grandfather's sausage stuffed tripe boiled in tomatoes.

Then again, those still alive would weep with joy if they smelled it now.

We are all human.

Isn't there some incredibly awful fish and lye dish popular in Wisconson?

But thank you for the cheese curds.; 2/21/23, 7:29 AM
Robert Cook said...: "I did not like Badlands, for instance."

Oh, my!! I love that movie. His first and best (of those I've seen)!; 2/21/23, 9:52 AM
Robert Cook said...: "Now we know why it's called Hell's Kitchen?"

No, it was a very rough and violent slum, home to the Westies, a brutal Irish mafia. (Hell is hot, and there's no place in it hotter than the kitchen!); 2/21/23, 9:57 AM
Saint Croix said...: Oh, my!! I love that movie. His first and best (of those I've seen)!

I just hate serial killer cinema. How low are we gonna go?

A girlfriend of mine really likes watching Dexter. Damn serial killer TV show with another serial killer "hero."

Serial killers are predictable and boring as shit in my opinion.

I like heroes with a dark side. Way more unpredictable and fun!; 2/21/23, 11:24 AM
Robert Cook said...: "'Oh, my!! I love that movie. His first and best (of those I've seen)!'

"I just hate serial killer cinema. How low are we gonna go?"

Fair enough. However, BADLANDS preceded the serial killer cinema that has flourished in recent years, and, I don't know if if makes a difference to you, it's inspired by/modeled on the real life case of Charles Starkweather. More to its credit, it doesn't wallow in the sort of squalid sadism and grotesque close-up violence of many other and more recent serial killer movies.; 2/21/23, 12:54 PM
Earnest Prole said...: Returning to this post to catch the final few comments, I fear no one else got your sly leetle elimination joke.; 2/21/23, 6:04 PM
Narr said...: I got it, Earnest Prole--it was alimentary.; 2/21/23, 9:32 PM
Saint Croix said...: hey Cookie,

Yeah, a lot of people love Badlands. It's a matter of taste, I think.

I knew that about Starkweather.

Bonnie and Clyde is based on real people, too. I suspect the artists took a lot of liberties!

A killer movie I really like is Deadly Is the Female. Not sure if that was inspired by Bonnie and Clyde, but definitely a lot of similarities.

Interestingly, it was written by Dalton Trumbo, an alleged Communist. A+ in my book.

271 Deadly is the Female (1949) For those of you who think Bonnie and Clyde is a great movie, you should watch the source material first. One of the crazy guys from Hitchcock's Rope (John Dall) falls in love with the wrong girl and goes on a bank robbery rampage. Godard used to crack that all a director needs to make a movie is a girl and a gun. Well, this movie proves it. "Oh baby, you got me so excited. I can't stop shooting my gun!" Low budget indy B picture, with amazing black and white cinematography, particularly the ending in the swamp. Wow.; 2/21/23, 11:20 PM
Saint Croix said...: Cookie how do you feel about Scarface? That's a remake that DePalma did of the original Scarface by Howard Hawks.

Both films were highly criticized back in the day!

To me DePalma's movie is kind of violence porn, and I don't care much for his anti-hero.

Other people like The Sopranos, I get bored with gangster shit. I'm like, "Do something nice, Soprano! Surprise my ass!"

The DePalma movie I really like is Mission: Impossible, where DePalma take a good TV show, adds a theme he stole from Hitchcock (innocent man wrongly accused) and then crafts a hell of a thrill ride.

(The movie would have been even better if Peter Graves had agreed to play his old part. And Peter Graves was like, "Fuck you, fuck your money, my character is a hero and damn if I'm going to turn him into a traitor."); 2/22/23, 6:54 AM
Robert Cook said...: "Cookie how do you feel about Scarface? That's a remake that DePalma did of the original Scarface by Howard Hawks."

I've only seen bits of DePalma's remake on tv. I hated Al Pacino's quite inept and clumsy "Cuban" accent and ridiculous dialogue. It seemed like a really dumb cartoon. I've enjoyed other DePalma films, but this--what I saw of it--is just the worst!

I never saw the original. I did quite enjoy LITTLE CAESAR, starring Edgar G. Robinson. I always thought it was based on Al Capone, but I see this has never been confirmed, though it has been speculated upon.; 2/23/23, 2:20 PM