January 22, 2023

It's getting harder and harder to speak news alerts out loud these days.

My grandfather — Pop — used to read the front section of the evening newspaper and — upon finding something interesting — would read the headline to the rest of us who were either waiting to get our hands on the front section or didn't really care about reading the news at all.

And nowadays, I still participate in spoken news alerts. Here at Meadhouse, we're both often reading the web miscellaneously, and we each like the keep the other up to date on the latest items of interest. 

But lately we're calling out nonsense like this:

Did you see they found more documents at Biden's house?/Yeah, I told you they they found more documents/But these are new additional documents/And I told you about the new additional documents/But these aren't the new additional documents you told me about, this is from 2 minutes ago, newly found new new documents....

As I'm writing this post, Meade calls out to me, "What's happening in the news?" So I say, "They found more documents." And he's all: "Yeah, I saw that." So I say — in the interest of taking this post in a fanciful direction — "But these are new new documents, they just found them." And he said: "WHAAAAAT?!" 

So I questioned him about where that "WHAAAAAT?!" came from and he said he had this vision of Biden walking around and wherever he goes, papers are falling off him.

Me: "Did you picture the papers falling out of his pockets or shedding from his body like pangolin scales?" He says, "Both." And also, he's picturing Biden doing a sort of magician's act, sniffing some little girl's hair and then "Whoa! There's a document in there!" 

43 comments:

Kate said...

Spit take from me on the magician's hair sniff. Hope your keyboard's ok. I'm still giggling.

narciso said...

Attorneys for the president reported they found x documents

James K said...

The newsy part of this latest find is that they date from when he was in the Senate. Puts the lie to the claim that they were inadvertently taken when the VP office was being packed up.

hombre said...

When the asylum is run by lunatics ....

Bill R said...

Ditto on the spit take. Well done, Meade.

Breezy said...

I agree! We can’t tell which set is new news or yesterday’s news. They should start naming the document sets like weather people name hurricanes. We’re at least up to an “F” name by now.

Amadeus 48 said...

Hi there, sweetheart. What's your name? Althouse? (sniffs hair) I bet you were a gorgeous redhead when you were eight. You had all the boys waiting for you to grow up. You want to see my top secret documents? It will be our secret. Don't tell anyone.
* * *
C'mon, man! I am not joking. I give my word as an Amadeus, it is what he does.

Nancy said...

Ann, I think you meant "simultaneously". Though "miscellaneously" is also good.

Nancy said...

PS I only noticed the word because I was reading the post out loud to my husband, because we had the same conversation last night. "No,these are different new documents."

wildswan said...

Maybe Biden's got my piece of paper I wrote my AOL password down on in the last century and lost. Couple of socks missing, too, but they weren't secret and they weren't full of holes either like something in a Biden story. What surprises me is that Dogberry and Co. haven't found any cash. Or have they - bundled up in the freezer, maybe? Has anyone asked? Or any drugs. Same questions. Traps in the Chevette?

wendybar said...

Yet Another Stash Of Classified Documents Discovered During Biden’s Colonoscopy

https://babylonbee.com/news/fourth-stash-of-classified-documents-discovered-during-bidens-colonoscopy

michaele said...

Fun dialogue. And, an additional element of ridiculousness is that, as James K. pointed out, the newest of the document finds are actually the oldest documents from his Senate days. It's all starting to sound like the Abbot and Costello "Who's on First" routine.

Temujin said...

Pretty funny stuff. Laughed out loud at the image of Biden leaning over some poor, unsuspecting 8 year old girl, thinking she's meeting the President- which she is- but finding out he's just a creepy old man, like her Uncle Julius. And Biden, never one to shy from a camera, smiles as he's sniffing, then Whoa!...he pulls 2 documents out of his lapel pocket!

Everyone smiles, even the little girl, as they realize, he just pulled a fast one on them all. He is amazing. Our President.

Your conversation sounds almost like ours here in the Almost Seaside Almost Palace. We read our news in adjoining rooms. I insist her hearing is going. She insists I mumble. We're probably both a little right.

Me: "Wow....another young professional athlete just dropped. Right there in the field."
Her: "What?"
Me: "The vaccine. There's more issues showing up everyday and no one wants to touch it."
Her: "What?"
Me: "Mrmmph ragetox flornymax."
Her: "It sounded like you mumbling again."

wildswan said...

One reason why no one can keep track of which document discovery a media story is covering is that this is a rare media event, a synchronous news story. Left and right are getting the same story on the same day. So if you are accustomed to reading on both sides of the media, you are accustomed to a parallax error, so to speak, in the distance in time between when a story breaks on one side and when it breaks on the other. For example, lockdowns were ineffective and damaging. That fact was known on the right years ago; that fact is just now coming out on the left. But the Top Secret story is different. Biden announced he'd run again and immediately left and right began to be synchronously informed by the media on the Top Secret papers being [used as kitty litter, fire-starters and souvenirs] found in the Biden mansion.

Lloyd W. Robertson said...

Meeting with a world leader, shuffling papers: I know I don't have to offer you any confidential documents--Hunter has already taken care of that. Talk about kids never growing up! Fucking guy is in and out of our house and garage all the time. Girlfriends kick him out, his credit card is no good, who knows.

narciso said...

This is around the time peter galbraith was urging partition of iraq so as to benefit the kurds who were his client

planetgeo said...

And yet, no matter how many they find, the walls never seem to close in. Heck, there never seem to be any walls at all for people of the chosen ideological persuasion.

Memo to self: Self, send a note to the vaunted (but unfortunately not sufficiently vaulted) National Archives that their document control methods suck.

Whiskeybum said...

The NYT and WaPo need the digital equivalent of a numbered flip card on their homepages titled "Number of days since no confidential documents found at a Biden residence".

robother said...

Did they check the pumpkins in the Biden garden yet? 40s tradecraft, I know, but whoever's stashing these things seems like that would be in their wheelhouse.

Gusty Winds said...

Musk has turned Twitter into the fastest, most accurate news source available. Of course you have to be discerning about some of the bullshit right and left, but for the most part it is rendering liberal MSM obsolete.

Of course MSM will survive. There will always be a liberal audience that wants the propaganda blown up their asses and injected into straight into their veins. Makes them feel superior and a part of something "moral" even though all of it is completely immoral.

Especially with the liberal "let's mess with children and young people" stuff going on today. Poison mRNA booster mandates at colleges and universities. Tranny shows. Pushing body mutilation for profit and calling it "gender affirming".

SE Wisconsin news of the week: "Hey sweetheart, did you see they found another blow job book at a grade school library in the Elmbrook School District"? That's east Brookfield and Elm Grove in Waukesha county. An ivory tower rich liberal section of our mostly sane red area.

Wilbur said...

Ha. Biden pulling documents out of his coat, out of everywhere. Reminds me of The Banana Man.

BIII Zhang said...

I see the UK Daily Mail is today reporting that the FBI is considering whether it will search Biden's other homes.

Because, when you're a crack investigative organization like the FBI, you definitely want to leak to the press about your upcoming searches so the criminals don't have any time to go in there and clean out any incriminating documents.

At least the Department of Justice has realized what utter buffoons they look like having the criminal's lawyers conducting all the search warrants for them.

Gee, ya think the fix is in?

Tank said...

The documents they are "finding" now are the ones left over, after the other ones were sold to Russia, Ukraine and China.

Gusty Winds said...

Temujin said...
Me: "Wow....another young professional athlete just dropped. Right there in the field."
Her: "What?"
Me: "The vaccine. There's more issues showing up everyday and no one wants to touch it."
Her: "What?"


Scott Adams finally touched the subject after much pressure. Plainly stating in his latest video that the unvaccinated "won". He plainly says, "now I have to worry about this stuff running through my veins and what might happen in the next few years". I'm "unvaccinated" and it's not a battle I wanted to "win". Well, I guess keeping this shit from being injected into young people is a battle that needs to be won...and the enemy is the liberal education establishment.

No one wants to touch the subject because there are now 200 million Americans who took mRNA shots #1 and #2. Most of whom are now quietly avoiding #3. Imagine the collective anger and anxiety if this was discussed openly and truthfully.

Ironically even though Trump never said to inject bleach (another leftist lie that their sheep believe), liberals raced to inject a different form of bleach into their bodies and everyone else's. Funny because that's the bleach libs aren't going to hang on Trump's head.

Sebastian said...

Or will Joe start doing Sandy Berger impressions?

"I accidentally stuffed them into my socks." Etc.

Ann Althouse said...

"Ann, I think you meant "simultaneously". Though "miscellaneously" is also good."

I meant what I wrote.

narciso said...

https://countervortex.org/blog/iraq-peter-galbraith-scandal-opens-window-on-oil-struggle/

Narr said...

Caught a bit of NPR this morning (don't worry, I have acquired immunity) with the journo asking the expert how the slowdown of fundamental scientific discovery is affecting us, and pointing out that the mRNA vaccines (whose invention was credited to a woman) could have been deployed sooner.

We. Are. Doomed.

Michael K said...

In related news, President Ron Klain has announced he will resign. Who will run the government when he goes ? Kamala or Susan Rice ?

iowan2 said...

"I meant what I wrote. "

Must of us saw that coming

If you haven't been here long enough to read 300+ posts, you should know our host's choice of words is never 'off'. This is more a language blog, than a law blog. Other pundits classify it as a law blog. Not accurate. Also a Conservative Law Blog. Not accurate.

Rory said...

The FBI thanking Joe for cooperating with their search:

https://youtu.be/1m9DjG3QRzs

narciso said...

susan rice and malley will pass the eye around, they will keep away from kamala,

Rabel said...

Did either of you notice that the FBI conducted this search, not Biden's personal lawyers?

And did either of you notice that the FBI men were described as "DOJ personnel" by the DOJ and the media?

As in the Trump case, the FBI investigates potential and actual criminal matters. It does not do miscellaneous document retrieval for the National Archives.

This had to be on the order of the new Special Council. Turning this over to the FBI is a significant change.

narciso said...

did they, why didn't the doj spokesman, report what was found, you really think monaco or clarke, will do anything but a perfunctory pass,

Kathryn51 said...

"Here at Meadhouse, we're both often reading the web miscellaneously, and we each like the keep the other up to date on the latest items of interest."

That's a good description of our house. Side-by-side desks with our PCs (yep, still old school). However, he usually calls out something-something and I say "yes, I read it on Instapundit [or Althouse] yesterday." He DOES see funny Facebook memes before me however.

Rockport Conservative said...

Me: "Did you picture the papers falling out of his pockets or shedding from his body like pangolin scales?" He says, "Both." And also, he's picturing Biden doing a sort of magician's act, sniffing some little girl's hair and then "Whoa! There's a document in there!"

Hilarious, the funniest thing I think I've ever seen on this blog.

Curious George said...

"you should know our host's choice of words is never 'off"

Not true at all. They're just not up for questioning.

gilbar said...

Gusty Winds said...
I guess keeping this shit from being injected into young people is a battle that needs to be won...and the enemy is the liberal education establishment.

But, Don't Forget! The Liberal Education Establishment is
educators who seemed to think that they — not the parents — knew what was best for their children

They know what is best!
About "vaccines"
About "genders"
About sex ed
About pay scales for teachers

You Parents should just SHUT UP, and Listen to the teacher.. She KNOWS what is Best

tim in vermont said...

Whatever you do, don't turn off the news alerts on your phone. You will drift from the herd. A good working definition of a "conspiracy theorist" is somebody who consumes less MSM news than you do. You need the constant rain of propaganda or you will begin to see things through other lenses, like you know, any history books you might have read and thought about. Just in case something that happened before is happening again, with different tech, but the same dynamics. For instance, in the past, false flag operations where commonly used to manipulate public opinion, but the mainstream news assures us that considering the possibility is a sigh of mental instability.

There is a theory that this document scandal is a way to rough up Joe Biden because he has been reticent to go all in on war with Russia, and that the current "embezzlement" scandal that is rocking the leadership in Ukraine is retaliation for it, glass houses, etc. I don't know, but I know that in a world where the news repeats transparent lies nonstop, conspiracy theories are going to bloom like mosquitoes after a hard rain.

tim in vermont said...

Let's not forget that Fauci changed the definition of "gain of function" so that this virus research, which was outlawed by Congress, could continue, and that the research at Wuhan was partially funded by the US government, and that this engineered virus has a lot of ways of killing people. Trials should happen, and people should swing. They were warned.

Engineered bat virus stirs debate over risky research - Nature 2015

The funny thing is that there was a warning added to this paper later warning not to infer that this means that anybody actually did "engineer a bat virus.

Editors’ note, March 2020 We are aware that this story is being used as the basis for unverified theories that the novel coronavirus causing COVID-19 was engineered. There is no evidence that this is true; scientists believe that an animal is the most likely source of the coronavirus.

Science journals have been totally corrupted, this comes from the global warming psy-op, and now that they have political operators in place as journal editors, this is the kind of crap you get in such journals. Either withdraw the paper, or leave your fucking "Editors' notes" out of it.

Lurker21 said...

Rep. James Comer (R-Ky.) on Sunday gave the latest rundown of House Republicans’ investigations into President Biden and his family, making various claims of connections to China and stating that there was “evidence everywhere” of wrongdoing.

“I mean, this isn’t the most complex investigation on the planet,” Comer told Maria Bartiromo on Fox News’ “Sunday Morning Futures.” “Investigating Hunter – the Biden family is about like tracking a bleeding bear through a snowstorm. I mean, there’s evidence everywhere.”

Bunkypotatohead said...

I found some classified documents in the basement the other day.
I don't know how Biden got down there, but I'm having the locks changed just in case.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

And also, he's picturing Biden doing a sort of magician's act, sniffing some little girl's hair and then "Whoa! There's a document in there!"

That's very funny, Meade & Prof.
"What's this behind your ear, Jack?!" Maybe the FBI should search the lifeguard stand next to where Corn Pop was confronted and the hymnals of the black church Biden attended for decades--you just never know!