Sample joke: "Today, President Biden signed the Inflation Reduction Act, which is a huge achievement. It makes the single biggest investment in addressing climate change ever. While I’m here, I — I really should talk about some of the other existential threats facing our nation: the enormous gaps in wealth and income, the threats to our democracy. But I really think one of the most serious issues facing our country today is just how big a dick Ted Cruz is."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
79 comments:
I guess Franken checked out the size of Cruz’s dick while Ted was sleeping, as that seems to be Franken’s MO.
Sounds like he wrote his own material. Big mistake.
The Ted Cruz joke is a relic. Back when traditional conservatives like Bush, Cruz and Gingrich were supposed to be Super Cereal Threats Everyone.
Then came Trump, and the old gags seem so quaint.
There go democrats talking about dicks again.
Franken was good as the stupid railroad worker in "Trading Places." I guess he has a talent for those roles.
Stuart Saves His Family was pretty brilliant. I can't think of anything else noteworthy Franken's done with his life. It's nice that his friends throw him a bit of work now and then.
Yuck, yuck.
That's supposed to be a joke?
If shouldn't surprise anyone how much they hate Ted Cruz. Being a huge dick they're subconsciously compelled to cut him off every chance they get.
More therapy for the progressives. How original.
It's amazing how far Al Franken has come with so little talent. He's much more proficient at self promotion and expressing smugness than he is at comedy.
Now I know why the ratings are so exceptional.
No more unwanted kisses, no more adjusting the radio dials on sleeping women, just plenty of woke penance and spayed dog attacks on conservatives. Good boy!
That's funny?
Well, his endorsement really didn’t help Liz Cheney much in Wyoming.
He's just as funny as before he went into politics.
They always try to make the current host look good, by getting a 2nd rater to fill in for him.
Mission accomplished.
Al Franken will never top the greatest joke of his career: US Senator from Minnasota (the clown state).
Franklin is a putz. A not funny putz. A has-been putz.
Cruz is obsessed with dicks as seen by his comment on Sen. Warren.
Funny how some Leftists: like Toobin and Franken get MeTOOed but come back. Others just disappear for ever. Guess you need to know the right people.
The CBS Late Night show now pulls in 2.1 Million viewers a night. Jimmy Fallon 1.3, and Jimmy Kimmel 1.08. Greg Gutfield is pulling in 2.345 million, beating them all. That's and average of 6.825 viewers in the now "politics are everything" late night shows.
Johnny Carson averaged 9 Million viewers a night, and mainly stayed away from politics in order to entertain everyone.
Today's late night shows only exist (along with a lot of cable news shows) to produce short clips on Twitter.
That should help the Kimmel show ratings tank
"It makes the single biggest investment in addressing climate change ever."
If I grant all their premises, by how much will it reduce future temperature rises?
Never did find Franken very funny. This goes back well before I knew his politics, so I know it's not that I'm holding that against him. There are liberals who would hate me if they were aware of me, who still make me laugh. He's not one of them.
At least Al used his first name - Big. And for future reference his middle name Swinging.
wow - Democrat talking points on NBC. /
Woulda been funnier to call Gillibrand a d*ck for getting him kicked out of the Senate. Not funny, but funniER.
Al Franken is now an unfunny douchebag. His Stuart Smalley SNL character was hilarious. The movie was funny too.
Best ever was Stuart Smalley with Michael Jordon at the height of his career on the Daily Affirmation skit.
That was hilarious. This is just unoriginal and stupid. Sad. I miss when things were funny.
Wow, that's really. . . .funny. . . . .
Blatant penis envy.
The left are collective meme spreaders.
So, dick jokes?
Late night entertainment for the professional managerial class.
Forward. Dick jokes die in darkness.
Al Franken's election to the senate was made possible by a box of ballots found (days after the election) in the trunk of a poll worker's car in Minneapolis. Now that was a joke, but not a funny one. It is ironic that Al was cancelled for being a dick.
Don't quit the day jo, AL.
John LGBTQBNY Henry
Clapter.
He was really funny when he was pretending to grab that Veteran womans breasts. THAT was hilarious. He should have won The Mark Twain Prize for American Humor for that one.
Given the joke and the stature of both men, I'm surprised anyone noticed Kimmel was gone.
This will not end well. Take no prisoners.
Do republicans get equal time?
By the way, some of us are old enough, with good enough memories to remember that Franken became a Senator when Norm Coleman's lead at the end of that election, vanished at the last minute. A surprising and sudden wave of new ballots were found, and incredibly, they were almost all for Al Franken. So a multi-month recount took place at which end, Franken won by just over 300 votes. Which, when you take into account a large number of votes accepted that should not have been (read: illegal voters), means that election was....er...let's just say- 'not right'.
You see, 2020 was not the first time. In the meantime, Cruz is still a Senator. And Al Franken wants to be somebody again. Badly.
Al Franken is clearly a hot commodity on the dem and nevertrump/alwaysdemocratical side.
Hunter Biden's tax payer funded Hooker: "Do republicans get equal time?"
Republicans are advantaged by sitting back and letting the dems & nevertrump/alwaysdemocratical take it to "11".
Once a douche always a douche!
Everyone knows the jokes are not funny.
But everyone laughs when the Regime representative tells a joke.
Laughing at jokes that aren't really funny about the enemies of the Regime is what fascists do.
>> "It makes the single biggest investment in addressing climate change ever."
Or, one could easily say... "the biggest payday for Democrat special interest groups ever."
This illustrates the core principle of the Democratic party:
Take money from people who tend to vote Republican, and give it to people who tend to vote Democrat.
Talk about winning rigged elections...
As others have pointed out, late night comedians are now group self-esteem therapy for lefties.... it's where they go to hear how right they are about everything.
It’s undeniable Ted Cruz is an enormous dick and Al Franken is enormously unfunny.
Ted cruz is funny - Al Franken, not so much...
Is he running for something?
Suspect Franken came up with the Cruz insult for his monologue after video circulated of Cruz at a speech joking whether Elizabeth Warren might have a penis and mocking the transgender swimmer from U Penn.
Late night TV really has become a different environment. It just doesn't seem like it's any fun.
Brave.
Was Al Franken ever funny?
I've never thought that Al Franken was original in the least, and never thought he was particularly funny, either. I've always had a suspicion that his Stuart Smalley character is closer to his real personae than he would like to let on. He's the sensitive boy who is constantly self-preening, internally, but trying very hard not to let it show - and when pressed, turns nasty. He's not without his accomplishments though - it's just that they're all in a market that I have no interest in. And for his Senate career, well - he won it by crook, and ended it with the hook, so.....
Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
Cruz came up with the Penis joke about Elizabeth Warren because of an excerpt from a book about the 2020 Presidential campaign that was published in Politico last Friday. He's spoofing a direct quote from Warren.
We’d talked about the dynamics of Iowa, her competitors and the pressure she put on herself not “to screw this up.” But here and now she offered her plainest view of the landscape yet: “Everyone comes up to me and says, ‘I would vote for you, if you had a penis.’”
From Electable: Why America Hasn’t Put a Woman in the White House … Yet, by Ali Vitali.
I liked the part about the former president who screwed himself, so he has to write himself a check for $130,000.
What a dick Franken still is, groomer.
after video circulated of Cruz at a speech joking whether Elizabeth Warren might have a penis and mocking the transgender swimmer from U Penn.
Maybe "Lia" Thomas should volunteer to transplant his dick to Warren who brought the whole thing up.
Just a thought.
Again, this is what passes for comedy on the left?
Not missing much.
Franken follows his sympathetic jester to comic relief, where once it dehumanized women as they sleep.
A surprising and sudden wave of new ballots were found, and incredibly, they were almost all for Al Franken. So a multi-month recount took place at which end, Franken won by just over 300 votes.
Yep. The exact, same thing happened in 2004 in Washington state between Dino Rossi and Christine Gregoire ... except she 'won' by 129 votes.
Know what else those two elections had in common? Paul Berendt. He was the D party chair in Washington state during that 2004 election and just happened to find himself in Minnesota to 'help' with the Coleman/Franken recount.
It is a laff riot. That Franken! Man, is he sharp, or what?
Didn't Kimmel used to wear blackface and act stupid?
Ted Cruz has human repellent skin.
I wouldn't classify him as a Dick. That has other connotations.
Ted Cruz has the social skills of an engineer, the scruples of a lawyer, and he is about 50/50 on policy.
He has almost no real accomplishments as a senator as well. But he gets those bureaucrats to say no comment with a smug look on his face and does a mean mug on CSpan.
Just a thoroughly unattractive person and guaranteed to lose any national election.
Franken punchline:
"But I really think one of the most serious issues facing our country today is just how big a dick Ted Cruz is."
That's a punchline?!
I know comedy is subjective, but is there anyone here who can defend that punchline as funny, or even clever?
Still less fake and biased than Kimmel himself.
gadfly: "I liked the part about the former president who screwed himself, so he has to write himself a check for $130,000."
Ah yes, I had almost forgotten about gadfly's beloved Warrior Hero And Defeater Of Trump, Michael Avenatti!
Oh, those were such heady days for our resident lefty moron gadfly as Avenatti heroically leaped from 1 far left TV appearance to another, often in a single bound!
You see there was supposedly so much "evidence" that Avenatti had sleuth-ily uncovered with daring exploits that thrilled our little gadfly!
Avenatti was the answer to so, so many of gadfly's dreams and prayers to Gaia..or Schiff..or Pelosi (gadfly has many such gods)
Alas, it was not to be as the Evil OrangeManBad tricked gadfly's beloved Avenatti and thus #JusticeWasThwartedAgain!
Drat and double drat!
I understand Franken has already been booked for the "Abraham Cheney (D-DC/Pelosi/Northern Va) For President" kickoff event to be held at the Clinton Foundation headquarters.
Liz Cheney would beat Trump if she ran as a Dim... but no way they giving her the keys to the executive powder room.
I don't think that was very interesting or funny. Slamming Republican politicians is an easy way to get a laugh in front of a hyperpartisan crowd.
There are those on the left who would love for him to run for President. Hollywood loves Al and Yelensky, another tv comedian who made the switch.
I was excited ("We got the Real Franken back!") until I read the joke. Le sad. Everything is boring politics now.
Interesting. Not at all funny. Interesting because this may be the tail end of the #metoowhatevah panic that drove him from the Senate for rape or something comparable.
That's a real knee-slapper!
Ted Cruz is the Pee Wee Herman of politics. He's weird but he's funny, sometimes even when he means to be.
He's got that "Young Conservative" thing going that liberals and progressives -- and even a lot of conservatives can't stand, but I feel a little sorry for the ugly, unloved duckling.
Howard: "Liz Cheney would beat Trump if she ran as a Dim..."
LOL
So much stupid crammed into so few words.
Its like Howard's "super power".
Seriously, how do you dress yourself in the morning?
If Abraham Cheney (D-DC/Pelosi/Northern VA) ran in the democratical primary, her "extraordinary charisma" (wink wink) and "principled opposition" (wink wink) to Trump would garner her approximately 0% of the dem primary vote and if the DNC/obama/clinton hacked their own nominating process, again, to make Abraham Cheney the D nominee, it would shatter the dem coalition, fragile as it already is with Latinos (not latinx, Howard) and blacks and other working class Americans of all stripes migrating to America First populist policies.
I'm literally rolling on the floor laughing.
Literally.
Al Franken is why people stopped watching Saturday Night Live
Post a Comment