"... ripping out unsightly wallpaper, and introducing spendy sofas.... But... it’s also sex-positive sex ed.... Very sexy sex isn’t aspirational enough anymore; people demand a dream home to have it in.... The show mixes it up, featuring queer couples, married couples with teenagers and toddlers, a recently engaged couple, a polycule, and a recent divorcee in her 50s.... [Designer Melanie Rose] asks about her clients’ favorite positions, their kinks, what they’re curious to explore. 'We’re clam chowder with a dab of Tabasco,' Wesley, a law-enforcement officer, says about his sex life with his wife, Hannah, a real-estate agent.... When it comes to conceiving of a pleasure-room design, Rose has a few rules: no carpet — not even a stainproof one. She recommends tile (and installing a drain 'if there’s going to be that much bodily fluid').... 'If you’re installing a sex swing, do it on a ceiling joist'.... 'I’m very much a touchy-feely person,” Rose says.... 'I like to smell the leathers, pick up the vibrators and the dildos.'"
Very sexy sex isn’t aspirational enough anymore.... Noted. I'm glad people are aiming high. And have drains to hose it all down in the end.
Polycules? you ask.
What are polycules? Come on. It's a portmanteau. Don't you see it?
Polyamory + molecule.
ADDED:
Clam chowder... and I was just doing
the new New Yorker crossword where 43 Down is "______ Bucket (unappetizing-sounding rival of the Krusty Krab, on 'SpongeBob SquarePants')." I don't watch that show, and my first guess was "Clam." Spoiler alert: It's
"Chum." Good thing Wesley the law-enforcement officer didn't liken his wife to that.
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45 comments:
What? No vegan leather harnesses!?! Even for the 'polycule'?
Denied! Not even rating 10% on my tomatometer. What a friggin' gyp.
San Francisco had gay bath houses in the 1970s. Some were tiled so that the blood and fluids could be easily washed away. They were closed in lefty SF because they got out of hand and facilitated HIV/AIDS transmission.
https://hoodline.com/2016/09/scenes-fairoaks-lower-haight-bathhouse-1970s/
Monkeypox is round two?
Sally Albright: "...She said they were up all night, they were both exhausted all the time, the kids just took every sexual impulse they had out of them. And Joe and I used to talk about it, and we'd say we were so lucky we have this wonderful relationship, we can have sex on the kitchen floor and not worry about the kids walking in..."
Harry: "And the kitchen floor?"
Sally: "Not once. It's this very cold, hard Mexican ceramic tile."
Really hoping that polycule doesn't move towards the hard Mexican ceramic tile option unless of course...that's theirs thing. Theirs chafe very very easily. Theirs should go imitation hardwood, I'm thinking.
I'm getting older
how about a Sex/Nap Room ?
“She recommends tile (and installing a drain 'if there’s going to be that much bodily fluid')”
Spotcheck Billy got down on his hands and knees and he said
“Hey, mama, hey lemme check yer oil alright?” and she said
“No, no, honey… not tonight.”
A drain?
That's Sheldon J. Plankton being subjected to torture. Sheldon and his wife, Karen Plankton (who isn't even organic), own and operate the Chum Bucket restaurant in Bikini Bottom.
SpongeBob was a beautiful idea spoiled by the omnipresent gang of lunatics who rule cable television.
The designer asks about her clients’ favorite positions, their kinks...! Jesus...some people... Clam chowder in a discussion of sexual predilections? Eeewww!
Tell me, I beg you - this is a put-on, right? Some nonsense contrived by an edgy TV content creator who has tapped out on ideas.
"Our rooms are designed with water supply and drainage so you can easily hose things down afterwards" doesn't really seem to be catchy slogan.
People need a special room for sex? Tile and drain; how about just expanding the shower?
A polycule? If you marry the right woman she’ll be all you can handle — and all you’ll ever want or need in a partner.
Sex in space has only two positions. Gravity's necessity for variety hadn't been noticed before.
Tile and a drain? Sounds like the basement of the Kremlin in a Tom Clancy novel. No thanks.
So a Sex Room is a room that makes sex seem totally revolting? An aversion therapy for people with nymphomania?
@Quaestor
"That's Sheldon J. Plankton being subjected to torture. Sheldon and his wife, Karen Plankton"
Imagining Karen Plankton screaming "DO ME SHELDON! RIDE ME SHELDON!" is even more Harry Met Sally than my comment.
Bravo.
Where's the Jello supposed to go? Will it make it down through the drain?
It sounds like this guy is successfully filling a niche.
Leland: "People need a special room for sex? Tile and drain; how about just expanding the shower?"
The lefties/democraticals at NBC built Matt Lauer a literal rape-room office and then the lefies/democraticals knowingly cheered this rapist for a quarter century.
Given Weinstein and the rest of the. Hollywood/dems, a special room isnt required but apparently it "helps".
That is, if you cant afford an island.
This seems like the new version of a "meditation room" -- it's a costly, entirely unnecessary indulgence for people who have more money (and bigger houses) than they can rationally use.
All you really need for good sex is the right other person and a bed. (And not necessarily a bed. Or the other person.)
And in an effort to secure the polycule vote, wait until you see the episode with Joe and Dr. Jill.
The worst thing about living in a lake house is the water table being too high to build a proper sex dungeon.
Marin County used to be known for it's Saran Wrap and Wesson Oil parties.
A sex room. That's what's at a hotel.
Library of Congress, sex room -- everybody wants holes in the floor. Leve the floors alone.
We have eight sex rooms. We haven't even gotten to a few of them, but we've only lived here a while. The kitchen is not good, too much tile and granite. We're not 28 anymore.
I love the idea of hiring an expensive designer who makes weird comments. Those can only add value, no matter how much she charges.
What about sex partners? OMG, we have so many! Amish country is wild.
"Hi, my name is...eh...Kent Dorfman."
SEX ROOMS
Remember— when it’s Business Time, every room in the house is a sexy sex room. https://youtu.be/WGOohBytKTU
Looking at that picture of Wesley and Hannah, forget the clam chowder. Their sex life is more like the collision of two huge slabs of Silly Putty pressed up against the comics section.
I watched 1.5 episodes. Boring. The only idea she had were S & M/ Bondage related.
Blogger Howard said...
Marin County used to be known for it's Saran Wrap and Wesson Oil parties.
There was a very funny movie about Marin County in the 60s that included walking on hot coals. I wish I could remember the title. More recently, on the topic of comedy, it has given us Governor Hair Gel.
The only room I need for sex is 'enough.'
I like clam chowder and most other seafood. And cunnilingus is like eating sardines out of a coonskin cap.
If you're building sex swings in your bedroom to jambang your ... what does Danny DeVito call them ... "hooers" ... then I'm pretty sure you already know what a Chum Bucket is, since you married one.
I might have misspelled that.
Michael K said...
Blogger Howard said...
Marin County used to be known for it's Saran Wrap and Wesson Oil parties.
There was a very funny movie about Marin County in the 60s that included walking on hot coals. I wish I could remember the title. More recently, on the topic of comedy, it has given us Governor Hair Gel.
-- You may be thinking of a 1980 movie called "Serial," which was about New Age seekers in Marin County in the '70s. It had an interesting cast from that era: Martin Mull, Tuesday Weld, Sally Kellerman, Christopher Lee, Bill Macy, Peter Bonerz and Tom Smothers.
You should try vegan minge, Narr.
"There was a very funny movie about Marin County in the 60s..."
Serial? But that was about Marin County in the 1970s.
I read the "interior decoration" tag as "interior desecration." There's a fortuitous malapropism if there ever was one.
“Are you ready for the sex girls?
The hot, hot, lean, hot, big hot girls?
Are you ready for the sex girls?
The right, right, ultra-vital nice-nice girls?
They play pool in your house, take off their own clothes
They can talk about love, they know where it goes
They are women without any faults…
Are you ready for the pony girls?
The ride, ride, fast, ride, pony girls?
Are you ready for the lonely girls?
The sad, sad, oh, sad lonely girls?
They've got time on their hands, they've got skin like seals
They can talk about love, they know how it feels
They are women without any faults”
—- Gleaming Spires
Vegan? My vegan girlfriend doesn't like meat, but she sure loves the bone.
You know what the least unit of measure known to jewelers is?
A BCH. "Scooch it to the left a BCH."
Biden's sex room must be back in Delaware ...
It won't increase the property value, as the next owner will just want to tear it all out.
Sex is better outdoors anyways.
Well yes Drago, a few noticed the similarity of a sex room to a dungeon. Hollywood and Manhattan apparently needs these things. Most of us don’t need to hold someone hostage to get sex.
Blonde Cunt Hair. You people can be such prudes.
It’s gross that these people make these rooms that are by necessity similar to bathrooms- rooms where we perform messy excretory body functions and need surfaces that can be sanitized after we are through.
God was a civil engineer and purposely placed erotic pleasure zones next to toxic waste effluence.. Look at any Major City and celebrate the zoning laws that cover crap with parks.
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