Writes Chris Dong in "Dining solo is one of the great joys of traveling/No offense to your travel companions, but they’re holding you back from a culinary journey" (WaPo).
Most articles about dining alone are about dealing with the predicament of being alone and wanting or needing to eat in a restaurant. But this article has you contemplating an actual preference for being alone while you are with someone else.
It reminds me of that old LSD experiment where the doctor asks the subject — who seems to be having a sublime experience — "Is it all one," and she says "It would be all one if you weren't here."
But isn't this always the problem with the company of others?
Your baseline is how you feel when you're alone, which ought to be just fine. Who is a good enough companion to be better than no one? If you're anxious about being alone, your baseline is too low, and you may end up in conversations that displace superior uses of your consciousness.One problem with dining alone is that you might end up wasting your precious consciousness on thoughts about whether solo diners displease the restaurant personnel or whether other people are thinking about how pathetic you are.
ADDED: Rereading this post, the line "Who is a good enough companion to be better than no one?" made me think of the 1927 song "Me and My Shadow," which I believe is a song about being alone with yourself, but that might not be the interpretation of whoever staged this Frank Sinatra/Sammy Davis Jr. performance:
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At a certain point I stopped caring about what others think of me.
So you're saying Three Dog Night lied to us all?
"One problem with dining alone is that you might end up wasting your precious consciousness on thoughts about whether solo diners displease the restaurant personnel or whether other people are thinking about how pathetic you are."
It's the worrying about what strangers think of your dining that makes you pathetic.
Eating is a work break. And it can be taken back to the computer.
It's cheaper anyway. That's a plus.
Dining alone with an interesting book or magazine is often better than dining with another person. The optimum situation may be to dine with another person who has also chosen to read rather than engage in sparkling or not-so-sparkling conversation.
Later we will have much to talk about ...
is /Culinary/ used correctly? [of or for cooking]
would not Gustatory be more apt? with dining
Sound advice. Every cuisine is ineluctably rooted in its native soil. The enchaud périgourdin served by the priciest and snootiest restaurant in New York will be different from and perhaps inferior to that same dish offered by a simple neighborhood bistro in the Dordogne. Why confuse the experience with distracting conversation? That like watching Artoldis Chapman while listening to Giacomo Puccini.
"Dong. Chris Dong."
'"Dong. Chris Dong."'
He wrote this article on a Wang computer...
"Dining alone with an interesting book or magazine is often better than dining with another person."
Try using an audiobook and wearing AirPods hidden by your hair. Then you can be entirely occupied with the very interesting words of another person while looking fully attentive to your experience of solo dining and not the slightest bit bored.
Before my audiobook days, I used to travel alone with a book-sized sketch book and draw with a fountain pen — draw in the style of "Get Me A Table Without Flies, Harry."
Better than nothing is a high standard.
Who is a good enough companion to be better than no one?
'Better than nobody' is a high standard.
’…or whether other people are thinking about how pathetic you are.’
Ahem! I didn’t dine alone for my last two meals out, but I’m dining alone at the moment to enjoy a serious cheeseburger and watch the PGA Championship without distraction. And, reading Althouse during the commercials. Fore!!
Eating alone in my car is common, so common I can't remember the number of times. But two times I dined alone are memorable. Both happened in NYC many years ago. The first was at Mamma Leone's which was somewhere in midtown. Yeah, it should have been in Little Italy (which today is being swallowed whole by Chinatown), but being a tourist trap, it followed Willie Sutton's advice and located itself where the tourist were. But since I fell into the tourist category I felt right at home and had a great meal to boot. (btw, Mamma Leone's is no more.) I was in my early 20s, acting as a go-fer for a large CPA firm, delivering a package from the Boston office to the NYC office. Once done, the rest of the day was mine.
Another time, on the same sort of errand to NYC, I went to the Four Seasons on 5th Avenue. Sure, I was alone but didn't care. As best I remember I got good service in addition to a great table looking out at 5th Avenue through huge plate glass windows. For that meal I ordered venison. I had never had had venison (which is not surprising given my young age), but I reasoned that if I ordered game meat at a terrific restaurant, it's likely to come out pretty good. I wasn't disappointed. And here I am, 50 years later, still remembering my experience.
I am currently dining alone and enjoying the Althouse comments section.
Sublime.
Back in college, I had the social pressure to go with a group to the dining hall for the first couple of years in the dorms, but then my junior year, I found the magical reality of going by myself, when I wanted, and bringing a book. It was such a good discovery (right up there with realizing empty classrooms were much better study locations than the library). For some reason, I embraced going alone there but have never gotten into dining out alone, even when traveling on business. Probably because I'd rather just eat alone, alone (not surrounded by people) if I could in my hotel room and there's always good take out around.
As a frequent business traveller, dining alone at a restaurant drove home the fact that I wasn't at home.
I’m okay. You’re so-so.
When you're in a good and comfortable relationship, you don't need to talk much to each other. Dead air is acceptable.
You can get off on all the fonts you want.
I did this in Europe because the classmate I went abroad with was busy with a new bf. So I visited the continent alone.
It was strange and lonely, but I am a loner anyway. I did have nice experiences speaking French with other foreigners, and dining in sidewalk cafes alone. Except for the pushy guy who wouldn't leave my table in Geneva.
Not bragging, because they'll hit on anything over there.
So the WAPO is pushing single people to travel more...
I'm a retired airline pilot.
I can’t count the number of times I caught up on Althouse while eating alone.
Pre-covid I traveled a fair amount for work and always enjoyed dinner alone, in fact would sometimes turn down or avoid offers from others. But I would always go to a place where I could sit at a bar and eat. I liked the option of striking up a conversation with whoever was next to me, which wouldn't be available if I sat at a table alone. Having it be an option was the best of both worlds, since if I didn't feel like talking to anyone I didn't have to.
When traveling alone for business, I used to listen to history podcasts - time seemed to go by quickly and the podcast refreshed my mind. If I did a double take on my meal, it was a sign that I found something surprising about it - either it wasn’t what I expected in terms of treatment, it was very enjoyable, or it was below my standard and eating it was just for the sustenance.
Traveled two to three nights per week for 30 years. I prefer the bar & an iPad when I not entertaining a customer or dining with an employee. The majority of single women took their meal back to the room, less chance of getting hit on I guess.
"There’s the rehashing of the day’s events, discussing details of tomorrow’s itinerary and lamenting how sore your feet are from walking on cobblestones."
That's stupid. Why not talk about this instead:
"the intricate font on the menu or the server’s delicate placement of the bread basket on the table"
I don't mind dining alone, but I prefer to dine with a companion to discuss all those little details this writer assigns only to the dining alone experience.
I recently had a meal out that rose to the level of sublimity. Rare is the joy of eating somewhere where the dishes have been created by a lover of food with good taste who has given great thought to how spices complement foods and how foods compliment each other. I hate walking into a place and finding it focuses on customizing orders. Where is the art?
Something is lost without a companion to discuss this with.
Hell is other people (or so I have read).
Smartphones have really made dining or drinking alone a lot less awkward tbh.
While it seems rather sad to not be "forced" into interacting with strangers, I think at my age men are more worried about feeling they must. So, no worries, guys.
And it's mostly men out there still.
When traveling for business I have eaten alone. Usually, however, I choose to eat at the bar.
A) You typically get faster and more personal service. A lot of times the bartender serves as that "dining companion" that you can shut off if you need.
B) I'm not taking up a table in the main restaurant. Sometimes if you are dining alone, the waiter/waitress is thinking about how the bill will be smaller since it is a party of one. The bartender, however, is happy because your adding a food total to your bill.
C) You'll likely be dining with other "alone" people as well. This can lead to fabulous impromptu conversations.
It works for couples as well. Eating at the bar can get you a table much faster than waiting for a table in the main room.
I just really noticed the pull-quote:
"The next time you’re with a dining companion, consider what might be different if you were a party of one."
Boy, is that rude. You're supposed to spend mental energy while across the table from another person on considering how dining without that other person would be? Not that I would expect an invitation from this guy, but if I got one I would certainly decline.
Or you could travel, dine, whatever with a companion who shares or complements your interests.
"The next time you’re with a dining companion, consider what might be different if you were a party of one."
There is a delinquent, misfit, outcast's table for one. However, with social development, is social progress a burden, is it a viable choice, or should it be aborted along with other childish things?
"You know, when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself."
"You know, when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself."
The enchaud périgourdin
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so that is what they call SPAM in France!
Used to dine alone while traveling for work when not entertaining clients so about 50% of the travel days (usually first night I'd land, eat alone, second night with clients, fly next afternoon after morning meetings).
Almost always would eat at the bar.
Usually worthwhile conversations there in friendly towns like NYC, Dallas, Chicago.
Unfriendly towns: Boston (the worst by far), Seattle, SF.
To each his own.
Social interaction is a spectrum. Extremes are just that.
As with all such seemingly intractable conflicts, listen your grandmothers.
All things in moderation.
When you don't know what to do, be of service to others.
I enjoy dining alone. I read.
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