"... the local lady who makes her own Thai barbecue sauce; they notice when Rachel Maddow changes her shade of lip gloss; Bloom once had a second refrigerator devoted solely to condiments. One sign Brian was changing: his taste started to falter. This was funny until it wasn’t. He began to buy Bloom jewelry, she writes, 'so far from my taste that, if he were a different man, I’d think he was keeping a Seventies-boho, broke-ass mistress in Westville and gave me the enameled copper earrings and bangle he bought for her, by mistake.'"
From "‘In Love,’ a Novelist’s Powerful Memoir About a Happy Marriage and an Assisted Suicide/In her new book, Amy Bloom writes about loving her husband and helping him to end his life after a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s" by Dwight Garner, in his NYT review of "In Love/A Memoir of Love and Loss" by Amy Bloom.
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34 comments:
Every married woman's secret desire.
I knew Altzheimer’s was a terrible disease but no one warned me it caused Bad Taste.
>>He began to buy Bloom jewelry, she writes, 'so far from my taste that, if he were a different man, I’d think he was keeping a Seventies-boho, broke-ass mistress in Westville and gave me the enameled copper earrings and bangle he bought for her, by mistake.'"
Maybe he faked his own dementia and death to get away from you?
I suppose it was time to put the old dog down.
Progressives— normalizing one abomination after another.
Why the Hell does Rachel Maddow wear lip gloss? Isn't she supposed to have mistaken herself for a man? Or does everyone on TV wear lip gloss? I don't think Tucker Carlson wears lip gloss.
I may not have an opinion on Rachel Maddow's lipstick or Thai sauce, but after years of thought and witnessing the demise by Alzheimer's, I have decided I want an assisted suicide just like Epstein.
My plan is to do a scuba dive over the 400' wall if my mind is still intact enough to do it.
they notice when Rachel Maddow changes her shade of lip gloss
Do they notice when her whole schtick is proven to be a pack of lies? Bcaus that happened.
I could cry.
So many of life’s valuable lessons are learned while helping others who suffer- and letting them help us when we suffer.
The patience, humility and selfless contribution of time, these virtues give more than they take. Acceptance of the inevitability of death- one death’s terms. Exactly why an early exit is preferable to more and more… the control of the ending.
If God giveth &God taketh away- where is He in situations of preemptive control? If anyone does believe He is above all- who would exalt themselves to the Highest power? Love isn’t mercy killing someone we love earlier than Time would take…
A man was once taken on a tour of hell and was surprised by what he saw: All hell’s inhabitants sat at long tables in a dining room, spoons in their hands, the best smelling and best looking food to have ever graced a dining room filled the air with an exquisite aroma.
But all the diners’ arms were tied to slats of wood that kept their arms extended. In this position, the poor souls were unable to bend the spoons to their mouths.
Hell was filled with the hungry, tortured by the fact that they were so close to the most amazing food imaginable and yet could not eat it.
Then the man visited heaven and found the same scenario. Long tables, hungry souls, strapped arms, unable to bend their hands to their mouths to eat.
But there was a profound difference.
The souls in heaven sat across from each other, not trying to feed themselves, but trying to feed the person sitting across from them.
You see, the difference between heaven and hell, it might be said, is that the inhabitants of hell are concerned only for themselves. Heaven, on the other hand, is populated with people who spend their time serving each other.
A man was once taken on a tour of hell and was surprised by what he saw: All hell’s inhabitants sat at long tables in a dining room, spoons in their hands, the best smelling and best looking food to have ever graced a dining room filled the air with an exquisite aroma.
But all the diners’ arms were tied to slats of wood that kept their arms extended. In this position, the poor souls were unable to bend the spoons to their mouths.
Hell was filled with the hungry, tortured by the fact that they were so close to the most amazing food imaginable and yet could not eat it.
Then the man visited heaven and found the same scenario. Long tables, hungry souls, strapped arms, unable to bend their hands to their mouths to eat.
But there was a profound difference.
The souls in heaven sat across from each other, not trying to feed themselves, but trying to feed the person sitting across from them.
You see, the difference between heaven and hell, it might be said, is that the inhabitants of hell are concerned only for themselves. Heaven, on the other hand, is populated with people who spend their time serving each other.
https://gye.vids.io/videos/a09ad9b11b10ebc628/the-allegory-of-the-long-spoons
The notion reminds me of this.
I see that various groups out there have praised Biden for using the word "abortion" out loud saying, "Enough with people being ashamed to use that word."
Why do the promoters of assisted suicide shy away from the word "kill"? Why not embrace it? Example:
"In her new book, Amy Bloom writes about loving her husband and helping him to kill himself after a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s" or
"In her new book, Amy Bloom writes about loving her husband and helping to kill another human being"
"they notice when Rachel Maddow changes her shade of lip gloss"
You knew this would stop some of us. I can't say I would notice if Rachel had been replaced by a plant.
My mother in law has dementia, and it has made her a much less obnoxious person. She is now just a small, frail, elderly, readily confused woman, not the manipulative and spiteful harridan she used to be. That makes helping my wife care for her much less of an emotional burden. The former her is gone, dead already and completely gone, and the present her is only pitiable.
Her efforts at hiding her growing dementia over the past several years have progressed from glossing over loss of some vocabulary to renaming me. As her son in law, she's only known me for 41 years, so suddenly becoming "Doug" in the middle of a visit with her is sadly amusing. Soon she will forget her daughter's name, and that will be very sad.
As a younger person I thought the concept of euthanasia utterly vile. Now, not so much.
Huh, my life is dotted with minor luxuries as well. I know the local man who makes the best tamales on this side of town; I have a second refrigerator devoted solely to beer; but I confess that I don't notice when any TV personality changes their lip gloss.
Assisted suicide is an emotion-laden issue. While I understand the process, and I understand people who choose this path rather than face a life they don't want to face I am confused by a society that supports this right for some, but then bemoan the loss of supposedly sound young people who make the same choice to not face life. We have made life a disposable quality where; with no faith in a future we can decide not to go on and leave our loved ones wondering why? Why is one choice reasonable and the other a sign of mental illness?
my previous comment was Snarky, a little TOO snarky; so i've deleted it
Here's my new comment.
As the Blonde Babe said, in Conan the Barbarian... "What Do You Want To DO? Live Forever?"
Life here is short, that's a good thing
From the article, I didn't get what made this couple so attractive to the reviewer.
My oldest brother and only surviving sibling is 80 years old and has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, he is currently taking medicine for it and says he plans on fighting it and not giving up. I hope he gets some more good years and I hope I don't get Alzheimer's.
She has been married to two men, with a relationship with a woman in between. She has three children with her first husband.
From Amy Bloom's Wikipedia page. That aspect didn't come through in the review either.
She: Er ah honey, you're slow on the uptake now and your gifts reek of the five and dime. I
think you have Alzheimers.
He: Wha huh nah. Naaaah.
She: Oh yeah, I'm certain. These earrings are simply not you! You have never in your life
given me such such declasse trinkets. Open your mouth! Drink it!
He: Wait, wait wait
She: (holds his nose, tilts his head back, tips the glass) Swallow! C'mon c'mon swallow!
He: (swallows) No, no, it's only because I'm broke. I was just showin' my love!
She: Oh! Oh mein Gott! A tragedy! (elbow and chin in hands) There could be a book here
somewhere
There's a rumor that Amy Bloom is related to Harold Bloom. Not true, but her father was a published novelist on his day. Her husband who wanted to kill himself was Bruce Ameche, a Connecticut architect, born in Kenosha, who was related to Kenosha's Don Ameche. Bruce's father and his mother's second husband were both Heiman Trophy winners.
Amy Bloom seems to go in for every fashionable idea. See her 2002 book, Normal: Transsexual CEOs, Cross-dressing Cops, and Hermaphrodites with Attitude.
I don’t believe any man cares about Maddow’s lip gloss. This is an account of HER perception of the life they shared and she is obviously shallow and silly in the worst possible ways. I would not feel safe having someone like her in charge of my life or death decisions. Or helping me make mine if I was mentally or emotionally incapacitated.
Valentine put it out there. So three marriages or partnerships. It would be hard to carry a partner through Alzheimer's. But Brian wanted that suicide. Hmmm; that awkward little thought just won't stay down. And now there's a book about it, too. With a fawning NYT review.
Won't be reading this one.
I sometimes read the comments before I try to read the piece referenced by AA. This is one of those times. Not reading it here.
I would just add that a civilized, clean, well-managed suicide is to be preferred to a messy one that involves a lot of other people in the vicinity at the time. I know this to be a fact from personal experience.
I mean - it's convenient to put down declining boyfriends and abort imperfect kids. There's always that yoga retreat you might miss.
Look, if it's time to ride the ice floes or the babies starve, go for it; it's probably the right thing to do.
Otherwise, suicide is a selfish self-indulgence.
I guess that parable was worth repeating twice. When I copy/pasted, it didn’t show up. That’s why it didn’t have quotes and also what’s I have the linkup.
I’m calmer now.
My dad took matters into his own hands 6yrs ago @age 82. 9 siblings gone before him- 4 of his 5sisters w/Alzheimer’s or some debilitating form of dementia. When his strength started to wane, he made the choice. And it’s been hell for all of us- still is. We never talk about him, we just live w/a huge empty space where he used to be. I now am transportation 4my Mom. I remember always thinking: you should be here- trailing after my Mother. You should be here. I thought his Faith was stronger- I never believed a man so proud could wreak such havoc &cause so much pain to those who loved him so very much.
And so, my young brother-in-law @33. And so my neighbor’s stepson at a young 20. And I can name multiple more. It’s a f/king contagion.
Assisted?
What difference in outcome is assisted? If anything, it’s an accomplice to murder.
It’s murder.
We’re all going, we’re all here to go. Who gets to decide the timing of exit? And once rooted in society- how much of a slide to “putting down” those w/difficulties, deformities, disabilities… &it’s coming. It’s already here in some countries. Denying healthcare is a death sentence. It creates an entirely new class system.
~Sigh~
Some this deserve passionate defense- and some things deserve to be roundly defeated.
Heiman Trophy winners.
Isn't it spelled Hyman??
Paddleton.
A movie I saw on Netflix w/Ray Romano.
Best friends. An illness. A road trip. A loss.
I can see it- I just don’t believe in it.
In case any older person here is worried about getting dementia: I have been around relatives with dementia and enjoyed their company. Was very happy to have them around! And things marred here aren't marred in eternity. Temporary detours. No need to add spectacularly dramatic traumatic events.
You’re right, Freeman.
I’m sorry if I did.
Life is a gift.
2ourselves &each other.
Rachel Maddow wears lip gloss?? I would have never known that little tidbit.
Yeah, people shouldn't glorify suicides, it can cause more suicides.
I didn't mean you, farmgirl. I thought you made a good point with the story about your family.
I mean people killing themselves. Don't go killing yourself. You're not doing anyone any favors.
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