February 2, 2022

Named after Biden’s dog.

119 comments:

MadTownGuy said...

'Washington Karens' would have been appropriate, but given DC's propensity these days for issuing mandates, 'Commanders' fits.

daskol said...

At least they’re not the Fidos.

Enigma said...

Try again.

I'm "offended" because this name enforces male privilege and creates an expectation of the right to "command" others.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

Dang. I was hoping for something more like...

The DC Potemkins. Or the DC FBI Provocateurs. Or The Suuicided DC Capitol Police.

Amadeus 48 said...

They should have taken Washington Generals. Then Dan Snyder could change his name to Red Klotz.

Beasts of England said...

I guess they rejected my suggestion of the Washington Parasites,

Big Mike said...

Now if only their long-suffering fans could command them to win some football games. [sigh]

tim in vermont said...

Perfect. This will appeal to the beltway crowd, and give the rest of the county a team to really hate, WWF style. How much more Hunger Games like can we get?

Temujin said...

Ugh.
��Hail to the Redskins...��

When we're gone no one will even remember they were once called the Redskins. Or the Washington Football Club. Commanders sounds like something out of a video game or a Marvel comic, which makes sense for today's generation. Everything is a comic book scene.

I hope they become like the Lions and never even sniff a Super Bowl going forward.

Meade said...

Commies

wendybar said...

Meade with the comment of the day...@7:46am

Tank said...

So then, not the Washington Whiteboys?

Damn.

Achilles said...

Well...

They didn't spend much time in focus group with that one.

Humperdink said...

Washington Cut 'N Runs? Several connotations.

Temujin said...

Biden calls his dog 'Commander' because he actually takes orders from the dog. He hears secret orders coming from this special canine. This is how we get some of the decisions coming out these days.

You have to listen to Biden and think, "What is that dog actually trying to tell him?"

Rollo said...

The diversity movement ends up giving us bland, generic names like Guardians or Commanders.

Fortunately, sports are forgiving and eventually, even the stupidest team nes are cherished by fans.

Tommy Duncan said...

"Overlords" would be more apt.

Humperdink said...

Will the cheerleaders be called the Commanderettes? Will the cheerleaders be dressed in military regalia?

David Ermer said...

Hail to the Commies!

Critter said...

Should have announced staying with Redskins and told wokesters to deal with it. People would go crazy in support.

Menahem Globus said...

I was hoping for the Washington White Devils.

Clyde said...

Typical of our imperial Capitol, to believe that they should be our masters rather than our servants.

gilbar said...

how does this tie into the Cleveland Guardians?
We used to name sports teams after Strong Brave Men... (Native Men!)

NOW, we name them after Control figures??
LONG LIVE BIG BROTHER!!! Long Live the Deep State

Bob Boyd said...

"Ve have vays of making you punt"

gilbar said...

Washington is in Control! Washington is in Command! Washington is the Power! Washington is in Charge!

Humperdink said...

Surprised owner Dan Snyder did not give a throw a bone to the transgender community. The Washington NoNads has a nice ring to it. The DC athletic supporters would be all in.

jim said...

Silly game

tim maguire said...

Sounds a bit fascist to me. The military has commanders. Free societies have representatives.

Jake said...

I hope they lose every game ever.

Achilles said...

Commies was taken early. Tough to beat that.

Leaches.

Vampires.

Ciphers.

It really seems like cipher should be spelled with a y.

tim maguire said...

Rollo said...The diversity movement ends up giving us bland, generic names like Guardians or Commanders.

Fortunately, sports are forgiving and eventually, even the stupidest team nes are cherished by fans.


I've been an Indians fan for 40 years, but right now, I really don't care. I don't feel any affinity at all for the Guardians. They're not the team of my youth. Maybe that will change in a few years, but probably not. One less tie to my hometown.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

A flag: too many commanders on the field.

Mike (MJB Wolf) said...

Although this story will mean a lot to a few people they have selected an unfortunate date to debut their (stupid IMO) new name. The news about the 50-50 Senate coming unbalanced this morning with a Democrat suffering a stroke is about to overwhelm most national news.

mccullough said...

Deep Staters would have been amusing.

Wilbur said...

The Irvings.

Mike (MJB Wolf) said...

Will the cheerleaders be called the Commanderettes?

How bout the Commandmints? Or Command Performers?

GDI said...

DC Feds

Václav Patrik Šulik said...

More significant is the lawsuit Brian Flores filed against the NFL. The lawfirm's website has melted down, but I tracked down a copy here:

https://s3.documentcloud.org/documents/21194909/complaint-against-national-football-league-et-al-filed.pdf

The text message from Bill Belichick is a killer. See page 38.

Dave Begley said...

Named after the command and control run out of DC by our betters; the so-called elites. What an arrogant, clueless and elitist name.

Fuck DC. Fuck the fucking NFL.

Today on the CNN morning show a guy named Brian Flores was on. He was the former head coach of the Miami team. On Monday, I'd never heard of the guy. I thought - based upon his name - that he was Hispanic. Turns out he's black.

He got fired because he was sub 500 in three years. He filed a class action racial discrimination lawsuit. He had with him two white lawyers. One with a very bad East coast accent. What?! No black lawyers? Hypocrites.

The CNN news reader never mentioned the LOSING record. He just babbled numbers. Something like 70% of the NFL players are black but only one black head coach. So what? Do 70% of the coaches have to be black or something.

Flores whined about all the stuff he had been through. The fuck! He made millions as an NFL coach. And that his career was now "at stake" because of his lawsuit.

Flores also said he'd filed the lawsuit for "his kids." The fuck! He did it for the money. I'm a lawyer. When someone says it's not about the money, it's exactly about the money.

The fucking rich morons that run the NFL will pay out money to Flores and his White lawyers because they are rich and the NFL is a fucking cash cow. The NFL paid all sorts of blackmail money to BLM because they are woke. Once you submit to racial blackmail, you'll always be open to racial blackmail.

If the NFL went out of business tomorrow, America would be a better place. The elites know one thing: Keep the plebes doped up, give them bread and circuses. That's what the NFL is all about.

The only thing worth watching in the NFL is the KC QB. That's it.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

The DC Fauci's.

The DC Chi Com Facebook Drop boxes

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

I hope the cheerleaders are all fat chicks who used to be dudes.

Doug said...

The Chiefs of Kansas City and the Braves of Atlanta smile.

GatorNavy said...

Meh

An obnoxious hedge fund manager has to choose a humiliating name change.

Yawn

They still will be losers for years to come.

Yancey Ward said...

Sigh. I had hope for the suggestion I sent to the team's front office- Grifters.

tommyesq said...

I was also hoping for "Generals."

(That was Trump's USFL team back in the day)

Mr. D said...

Should have been Washington Red Tape.

GDI said...

"Feds, Feds, Feds" ... new team cheer.

Tommy Duncan said...

"Washington Commanders and the Lost Planet Airmen" has a nice ring to it.

Kevin said...

Surprised they didn't go with Scientists.

Lucien said...

To be fair, the runners-up were "Turd Sandwiches" and "Giant Douches".

Mark said...

I had considered "Commanders" a few weeks ago. After thinking about it, I dismissed it as meh.

But among the alternatives, it is far from the worst.

Sofa King said...

Should have gone with "Regulators", which is more on-the-nose but also cooler.

Ceciliahere said...

Isn’t that the name of one of Joe Biden’s German Shepards?

CWJ said...

Washington Golden Toilets

CWJ said...

Regulators. I love it! But a bit New Mexico, no?

What's emanating from your penumbra said...

Washington Genociders had one too many syllables.

CWJ said...

Tommy Duncan, I see what you did there. Lost Planet Airmen by itself would be very cool and wonderfully enigmatic for most people.

What's emanating from your penumbra said...

Ultimately, I could hardly care less. I use to watch games every weekend. The last two years not a single one.

Michael K said...

"Bureaucrats" has a nice ring to it.

Iman said...

Washington Salamanders would be much more fitting.

Anthony said...

That they're named after the country's capital still offends me.

Mark said...

"Overlords" would be more apt.

There would be some trademark issues on that name with Amazon, which has a second HQ in Arlington across the river.

Iman said...

Teh Washington We’reheretohelpers

Mark said...

The text message from Bill Belichick is a killer. See page 38.

Sigh. Why do people do this?

No. I won't see page 38. Why don't you just tell us if you want people to know?

Iman said...

Washington Revenooers… Washington Pitas

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

Good Lord. In Guy World there's no quicker way to make yourself a figure of fun than to relabel yourself and hope that everyone just goes along with it. Really, if they had changed their name to the Washington Wagon Burners they'd get less street-level derision.

rcocean said...

More truthful names:

The Washington Grifters
The Washington Anti-Americans
The Washington Conmen
The Washington Aristocrats
THe Washington weasals

or my favorite:

The Washington Fork-Tongues

JAORE said...


How about the Washington Sundowners.... named after the POTUS's dog's owner.

rcocean said...

I"m glad they got rid of the Redskins. Associating Native americans with a town that murdered Ashli Babbitt, applaudes Leftwing riots, voted for Senile Joe Biden 94-6, is an insult to them.

One Eye said...

"Commies" ... they needed someone like the Jeremy Strong character from The Big Short to look at "Commanders" and ask

How are you fucking us?

Browndog said...

Still not as utterly stupid as the new Cleveland Indians name. I still laugh at the fact the Washington football team use the nickname "Football Team" for two years and nobody batted an eye.

It's worth the time to look up how the Washington Redskins name came to be back in the 1930's. Probably have to use DuckDuckGo. I'm sure Google has it buried on page 213,397.

It's a disgrace we are removing the honor and traditions of American Indians from the American psyche, all in the name of "respect".

Jay Vogt said...

. . . . . . whew, that's a success ; )

Now we can get to work on "The Demon Deacons" - the graphic on that one is not very flattering! We'll get to the "Fighting Irish" later. After that . . . . .

Bruce Hayden said...

“They didn't spend much time in focus group with that one.”

The problem, as I see it, is that, because DC hands out trillions of dollars every year, it is getting more and more powerful, and in much of the country, more and more despised. I see this name as essentially saying that they are in charge, and the rest of us have to bow down to them.

farmgirl said...

So, they go commando? Then, what holds those little plastic cuppy thingies…?
Sure it’s not Comandantes?

Come again?

TheOne Who Is Not Obeyed said...

"Something like 70% of the NFL players are black but only one black head coach. "

How the NFL is exempt from disparate impact lawsuits is still a bit beyond me. Blacks make up about 16% of the US population. At the HS level, they make up about 20% of players. At the college level that jumps, but is still nowhere near 70%.

Sounds like discrimination to me. There should at least be more white guys in the defensive secondaries across the league. At least 65% of offensive and defensive lines should be white.

If I count correctly, blacks are appropriately represented at the QB position.

There should be no more than 5 black head coaches. So the NFL has some work to do there.

(We could play this racial bean counting game all day.)

Real American said...

let's all pretend Native Americans never existed.

Dave Begley said...

Below is from the press release. What utter and complete bullshit. America hates DC. DC hates America. Grit? Try grift.

"The result of an 18-month collaborative process with fans, alumni, players, community leaders and stakeholders across the D.C., Maryland and Virginia (DMV) area, Commanders brings to life the commitment to service and leadership that defines the DMV community. Importantly, the team's new identity also represents the values that bond the Burgundy & Gold family, including resilience, grit, tradition and unity, and honors the progress and potential of its present and future.

"As an organization, we are excited to rally and rise together as one under our new identity while paying homage to our local roots and what it means to represent the nation's capital," said co-owner and co-CEO Dan Snyder."

tim in vermont said...

The text on p 38 showed that they had already picked a different coach prior to even interviewing Flores, Belichick thought that they had decided on Flores, and that the interview was a formality, then he double checked and realized that he was wrong, well, the interview was a formality, that part was true enough. So Belichick thought he was congratulating Flores, then realized he had "fucked up," in more ways than one, it turns out.

It's hard to quote because it's an image, not text.

robother said...

Farmgirl: "So, they go commando?"

I like it. The sports headline writes itself: Redskins go commando.

Browndog said...

Flores got fired because the general manager the QB position addressed, and a change at some of the position coaches. Not because of a losing record. Flores wouldn't budge. The owner sided with the GM. Normally when this happens the coach resigns.

Nope. Knocked the Super Bowl and Tom Brady's retirement off the front page. Now they're going to talk about "systemic racism" for two weeks.

Kevin said...

Named after Biden’s dog.

They need the little Joe Biden pointing sticker on their helmets, with him saying, "I did that."

They can purchase them through Althouse's Amazon link.

Lyle said...

Awful name. Commander equates to Master, just like Washington was the Master and Commander of the slaves he owned.

Mason G said...

"Sounds like discrimination to me. There should at least be more white guys in the defensive secondaries across the league. At least 65% of offensive and defensive lines should be white."

It doesn't work that way. It's only when blacks (or women, for that matter) are underrepresented that there's a discrimination problem. If they're overrepresented, that's just fine- nothing needs to be done.

Lyle said...

Washington was the Master and Commander of his slaves. Great name!

Left Bank of the Charles said...

You sure you want go with Commies as the derisive nickname? Commies win Super Bowl will be a fun headline.

NCMoss said...

How long before the "Washington" part of the name is challenged? There has to be somebody, somewhere offended by that.

effinayright said...

They'll always be the "Washington Hosenpissers" to me.

effinayright said...

"It's a disgrace we are removing the honor and traditions of American Indians from the American psyche, all in the name of "respect"."

****************

Next up: getting rid of the twenty-odd Indian state names---as a sign of RESPECT, doncha know.

Misinforminimalism said...

Sublime choice. What kind of team would you have with 53 Commanders and no NCOs or enlisted?

The Redskins. Sorry, the WTF.

Oh, it's WFT? Sure.

Humperdink said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PM said...

I liked the "Washington Football Team". Stripped down, unadorned - the way Mike Tyson used to enter the ring. No robe, crown, or fru-fru - just black trunks and bad intentions. Sigh. Lotta money in wearables, so...

rcocean said...

We need more Black owners in the NFL. We need to have the current owners bought out and replaced by african americans.

The NFL owner's meeting should look like America. Not 100% white, and 35% Jewish.

Ceciliahere said...

The Redskins are Building Back Better starting with a new name for the team.

Wilbur said...

Kinda' hard to sing the 'Skins fight song as "Hail To The Commanders".

"Irvings" would fit nicely.

Skeptical Voter said...

From 1927 to 1937 the lowest priced model line of Studebaker cars was the Studebaker Dictator. From there you went to the Studebaker Commander, and then to the Studebaker President. Studebaker's advertising line was that their car "dictated the standard".

Under administrations that believe in issuing Mandates and Executive Orders (while bypassing Congress) "Dictators" is an appropriate team name for the teams playing in the Swamp.

Static Ping said...

Our elites, once again, prove to be incompetent.

At least they did not revive "Senators."

Chris Lopes said...

"Awful name. Commander equates to Master, just like Washington was the Master and Commander of the slaves he owned."

The Washington Slave Owners was their second choice.

Joe Smith said...

Misogynistic bullshit.

You can't spell 'Commander' without 'Man.'

Besides, we're so used to a two syllable word that three syllables sound awkward.

Howard said...

It's perfectly white waspy authoritarian. Much better than celebration of the great native American original peoples.

Joe Smith said...

'The Chiefs of Kansas City and the Braves of Atlanta smile.'

Exactly what I was thinking.

How did they escape the virtue-signalling mob?

JaimeRoberto said...

Too many commanders. Not enough Indians.

Amadeus 48 said...

They should have gone with the Washington Mugwumps, a name with historical context that could be brought forward into the Washington of Trump, Biden, and whoever. What is Liz Cheney if not a Mugwump? Don't the Dems think the same of Manchin and Sinema?

Mugwumps are the new sensation. They were born in virtue signaling. They are the men and women of the hour.

Hail to the Mugwumps!

mikee said...

New name ignores females. Time to change it again.

Humperdink said...

In deference to the attorneys in DC and a native American tribe, I am in favor of the Fighting Sue.

Rt41Rebel said...

"How long before the "Washington" part of the name is challenged? There has to be somebody, somewhere offended by that."

Decades ago Letterman quipped that the Washington Bullets were changing the team name because it connoted crime, and that the new name would simply be the Bullets.

The Vault Dweller said...

This sounds like the throw-away name the writer's room settles on for the team in a movie that is tangentially about football.

rcocean said...

General Millie Vanilli stated Transgenders are "essential" to running the US Army and are our greatest soldiers. Why not honor them?

The Washingon Transgenders.

Has a good ring to it.

Opfor311 said...

Washington Faucis might have been better....Anyway to me a Commander is a Navy O-5 which might be their record after the first 5 games next year.

CWJ said...

"How did they (Chiefs and Braves) escape the virtue-signalling mob?"

Shhhh!

However, the Chiefs have trotted out a not very convincing naming story in order to dodge the arrow, err bullet. You see, KC's Mayor was known as The Chief, and was instrumental in convincing Lamar Hunt to move his team to Kansas City. So naturally they named the team in honor of his honor. Native American imagery had nothing to do with it.

Maybe, just maybe, there's a kernel of truth in there, but pay no attention to their arrowhead logo, and a much earlier logo featuring a rampaging warrior in war bonnet with hatchet raised.

h said...

Of all the stuff that came out of this, the one that amused me the most was that street vendors began to sell burgundy tee shirts with gold letters saying "FOOTBALL TEAM". Of course, none of that is copyrightable (is that a word, sp?). I kind of wished that they would stick with Washington Football Team and do without the revenue stream of jersey sales. I still hope the remaining few fans will see the coolness of the retro (and inexpensive) WFT jerseys.

Narayanan said...

Temujin said...
Biden calls his dog 'Commander' because he actually takes orders from the dog. He hears secret orders coming from this special canine. This is how we get some of the decisions coming out these days.

You have to listen to Biden and think, "What is that dog actually trying to tell him?"
----------
the dog whistles and Biden hears and obeys.
?who actuvates the whistle?

MadisonMan said...

If they're named after Biden's dog, I can only assume they'll bite.

PM said...

Rt41Rebel @2:15:
Thanks for spraying Coke Zero all over my keyboard.

gadfly said...

The Washington Deceivers works well with D.C. would forever fit the reality of our politics.

Bunkypotatohead said...

Didn't the Bidens recently get a cat?
The Washington Willows just rolls right off the tongue.

gadfly said...

Back in the day of CB radio, one of my friends adopted the handle of "C Hound" and we all knew what "C" he was hounding.

So in his honor, I nominate the "Washington D.C. Hounds."

Mazo Jeff said...

Washington Swamp Creatures has an appropriate nomenclature. Think of the paraphernalia they could sell. Swampy!!

Gator said...

Brian Flores' document is awful, he seems like a whiny b---h, guys in the NFL get fired all of the time, and don't always get hired.

RonF said...

Fitting. This is how people in Washington see themselves. Not as governors for the people, but commanders over them.