I began watching the 1950 movie — written and directed by Joseph Mankiewicz — "No Way Out." Sidney Poitier plays a young doctor, working in a prison ward, and Richard Widmark is his no-good racist patient. It's unfolding well enough. Here are some early scenes...
... but then a tray of medical instruments is left right next to racist Widmark so that it's easy for him to grab a scalpel. I had to turn it off. I wouldn't subject myself to the cheap suspense of waiting for Widmark to whip out the scalpel and stab Sidney Poitier!
I switched to a different movie, "Terror in a Texas Town." This is a 1958 western that's of interest because it was written by Dalton Trumbo during the blacklist days, and it stars Sterling Hayden and Sebastian Cabot. But it's an absurd refuge from that scalpel, because it's absolutely no secret — it's shown in part at the beginning of the film — that in the final showdown between hero and villain, the hero is armed with a harpoon! Watch the ending here:
I watched that entire movie. All that harpoon action. The harpoon was displayed and described again and again. It's so weird that I wouldn't put up with the scalpel business, but I watched an entire movie that was about one man harpooning another man. Unlike Sidney Poitier's character, the harpoonee deserved skewering.
Now, you're probably thinking that the harpooned villain was played by Sebastian Cabot, a fat actor who always played a fat man. He was a villain — an evil capitalist — isn't a cartoonish capitalist always fat? He's fat, and a harpoon is displayed over and over again, and Sterling Hayden is getting more and more focused and determined. Cabot must be his "whale."
If you watch the clip, you know — spoiler alert — that guess is wrong. In fact, Sebastian Cabot filmed all his scenes inside a single room — a hotel room. He didn't attend his own shootouts. He hired people, while he remained ensconced indoors with copious room service food and a beautiful secretary. Luxurious for the character and low-budget for the filmmakers.
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45 comments:
i don't Want to be stabbed with a scalpel!
but; i Much Rather be stabbed with a scalpel... Then with a Harpoon!!
You could Really hurt someone with one of those!
I note (sadly) that there is no Sebastian Cabot tag. Sadly because I was looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this. I picked up my copy at the record shop on the 2nd floor of the Port Authority bus terminal around 1975. You would have to pry it from my cold dead etc.
My son and I watched Kubrick's second feature together some years ago.
"Killer’s Kiss’ crisp 67 minutes climaxes in a rooftop chase scene through the warehouse district, accompanied only by drums on the soundtrack. The protagonist and the villain corner each other in a warehouse filled with manikins, and armed with an axe and a gaff, they fight to the death. One of these guys is a professional fighter and the other is a professional killer, so they are formidable; but their weapons absurdly evoke a medieval clash between a halberd-wielder and a pikeman. Adding an even sillier aspect to the duel, when the combatants miss each other, they hack and slash the manikins."
I think one guy grabs the fire axe, which is more or less where you expect it. Then the other guy grabs a pike. OK, I get it, this is a theatrical warehouse or something. My son said the pike was probably on the wall with a sign: to be deployed only in the case of improper deployment of the fire axe.
Next time Althouse decides it's time for some 1950's schlock Quaestor recommends "I Married a Monster from Outer Space". A terrible title that might embarrass the managing editor of the National Enquirer, however it's surprisingly well-executed -- good script, competently directed, and some good acting to boot. In the end, you'll even feel some sadness for those horrid old alien space critters.
Quaestor recommends "I Married a Monster from Outer Space".
Too close to home, bro.
There must be a movie where 2 monsters marry each other, each hiding inside the guise of a human.
Ha ha
I googled my question — " a movie where 2 monsters marry each other, each hiding inside the guise of a human" — and the first hit was "I Married a Monster from Outer Space."
Read the plot summary.
It's a typical "Twilight Zone" twist.
No need to ascribe brilliance to me.
But I did solve Wordle on the third guess 2 days in a row.
Trick: your first guesses should be ADIEU and STONY
A scalpel is too precise. Sometimes, it takes a harpoon to pierce our heart, Ann.
Sebastian Cabot
Mister French!
I too use ADIEU. Took me four today…
There must be a movie where 2 monsters marry each other, each hiding inside the guise of a human.
There was Married with Children; everybody was pretty damned monstrous on that show, though outwardly human, sorta human. Katey Sagal is still at it. She voices Leela the Space Cyclops on Futurama.
To see death by grappling hook, watch Sidney in a excellent movie with Cassavettes called EDGE OF THE CITY.
There's the dramatic staging principle known as "Chekhov's Harpoon" that "If in the first act you have hung a harpoon on the wall, then in the following one it should be thrown. Otherwise don't put it there."
Or maybe Chekhov was talking about a gun. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that the principle isn't Chekhov's Scalpel."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chekhov%27s_gun
"There's the dramatic staging principle known as "Chekhov's Harpoon" that "If in the first act you have hung a harpoon on the wall, then in the following one it should be thrown. Otherwise don't put it there.""
Yeah, but that was too subtle for "Terror in a Texas Town." They actually put the footage from the end in the beginning too. It's the first thing you see, Sterling Hayden stomping down the street with the harpoon on his shoulder and the bad guy in the street taunting him telling him to come closer.
It's especially weird because the Hayden character's name is Hansen and it sounds a lot like "handsome." I thought they actually called him "Handsome."
"There must be a movie where 2 monsters marry each other, each hiding inside the guise of a human."
There is. It's called "The Clinton Administration."
Jeff Tee,
If there were a trophy for internet wierdness of the day you would win for that gem.
Evan so, wierd as it is, it is better than Dylan singing it. And Dylan singing it isn't the worst thing in the world.
Cahoots version is actually pretty good. Just weird as hell
John LGBTQBNY Henry
Cabot's not cahoots
I don't want to watch the movie to find out but why is there a harpoon in a Texas town?
Lotsa whales in Texas back in the day?
John LGBTQBNY Henry
Mr Montgomery Burns of the Simpson's is an evil capitalist who own the nuclear plant in the long running show. He's as skinny as a rail and Thequintessential evil villain from his voice to his mannerisms.
"There is. It's called "The Clinton Administration.""
They're still posing as human. Make a movie where they rip off their masks.
This is the lizard hypothesis.
"I note (sadly) that there is no Sebastian Cabot tag."
Thanks for the music tip.
This is my only post about Sebastian Cabot, and since I don't anticipate another, I don't create a tag.
I'd rather have a more general tag like "fat actors," so I can collect several posts — you know, go back a tag all the old posts about Dom DeLuise and Stubby Kaye and so on.
rather have a more general tag like "fat actors," so I can collect several posts — you know, go back a tag all the old posts about Dom DeLuise and Stubby Kaye and so on.
what about Orson Wells? or would he 'fit' into a "skinny actors that became fat directors" tag?
Yeah, "No way out" might have been too raw and violent for you. Spoiler Alert: Not only is there a "Rumble" bewtween the blacks and the whites, Widmark goes to Poitier's house to kill him in revenge for his brothers death. Sidney ends up shooting him, and then when Linda Darnall snarls "Let him die" - Dr. Sidney noblely saves his life and gets him in an ambulance.
As for the other movie, I had to laugh out loud at the guy getting stabbed with a harpoon. Only a Commie could have thought that up. How many Western towns had Harpoons just sitting around?
Have you watched "Blackboard Jungle" - Sidney saves the day by grapping an American Flag and using it as a weapon. Shades of Jan 6th.
"If there were a trophy for internet wierdness of the day you would win for that gem."
Can I play?
I won't submit SC's greatest hit "Bare Necessities" (from Disney's "Jungle Book").
I submit: "I'm Sebastian Cabot in Your Dreams" by Stew and the Negro Problem.
Stew and the Negro Problem are a Milwaukee duo. You can listen to their whole album here on Spotify.
I just ran into them because I was searching for Sebastian Cabot.
I like them!
Please listen before commenting about them
"I'm Sebastian Cabot" reminds me of one of my favorite JP Inc songs: "Lieutenant Custard and His Banger of Time."
Sebastian Cabot will always be Mr. French to me. And Bagheera in the Jungle Book. Looking him up I was suprised to learn he was a Dectective TV show co-lead in "Checkmate", with Doug McClure of all people.
Ann's squeamishness about the inevitability of sharp objects stabbing humans reminded me of a post Christmas 65 years ago. We collected discarded Christmas trees to build forts. Owen (the bad influence across the street) and I decided that it would be cool to use a couple of the skinnier trees as lances and to stage jousting matches. Sure enough within 30 minutes my mom was rushing me to the eye doctor.
This is the lizard hypothesis.
Not lizards. More like hagfish from beyond.
Folks who think the Clintons are slimy have no idea.
"Ann's squeamishness about the inevitability of sharp objects stabbing humans reminded me of a post Christmas 65 years ago...."
It wasn't so much squeamishness as annoyance at being asked to sit through this plot. They knew that the Widmark character was racist and that he hated the Poitier character. He had already attacked him. And he had a motive for revenge. And yet they still put the tray with the scalpel right next to him and turned their back on him.
And Joseph Mankiewicz is supposed to be the ultimate in screenwriters! The hell!
Plus there was another annoying plot device: Poitier was in a jam that he'd get out of if only an autopsy were performed. But only the Widmark character — who was accusing Poitier of murder — could give permission for an autopsy (unless some complicated other thing was done but wasn't going to be done for complicated reasons).
I was irritated by the plot overload.
If everyone standing in the street had brought a firearm they would not have needed the harpoon, and the bad guy would have run away. Scandinavians like to eat whales, they have shirts saying “whales, intelligent food for intelligent people.”
You missed the really cool part where Widmark holds a dagger up to Poitier's throat and Biden stands in the breach and knocks it out of his hand.
Sorry about Sebastian Cabot (and his reincarnation, John Rhys-Davies), but he was kicked out of Sandy Meissner's acting class before they got to the lessons on how to play thin.
Rcocean, have you seen "Terror in a Texas Town"? It isn't as if the harpoon just materializes magically at the film's climax. The Hayden character is a Scandinavian whaler and a Queegqueg-level harpooner (harpoonist?). I forget how he ends up in a Texas Town, but as I recall there was a more or less logical explanation. As Louis L'Amour pointed out on several occasions, Western men came from all over the world. If a Dane who served in the French army (Chris Madsen) could become a federal marshal hunting outlaws in what would become the state of Oklahoma, I suppose a Scandinavian whaler could find himself using the only weapon he's trained to use against a Texas bad guy.
Pro tip, don’t congregate behind a participant in a gun duel, move over to the side.
"It's so weird that I wouldn't put up with the scalpel business, but I watched an entire movie that was about one man harpooning another man."
The thing about a harpoon is that it is big and heavy and you are likely to have some advance warning about it being carried into your vicinity. That would trigger your spidey sense, and you could plan accordingly. A scalpel, which can be wielded in an instant, is definitely creepier.
“ Pro tip, don’t congregate behind a participant in a gun duel, move over to the side.”
I know!
It was sort of allegorical. The workers of the world united.
Rcocean, have you seen "Terror in a Texas Town"? It isn't as if the harpoon just materializes magically at the film's climax. The Hayden character is a Scandinavian whaler and a Queegqueg-level harpooner (harpoonist?).
OK but why would he haul his Harpoon around with him? Are there any whales in Arizona or Colorado or whereever this Old West town is?
And usually, the harpoon belonged to the Whaling ship, because why would you take it with you?
Maybe it was "Have Harpoon. Will Travel"
rcocean writes, "And usually, the harpoon belonged to the Whaling ship, because why would you take it with you?"
In Moby Dick Queequeg owns his harpoon and carries it from ship to ship. Ishmael reports on its decorated shaft craved with "cannibal island" symbols done by Queequeg himself, documenting his pedigree.
Apparently, it was common practice for harpooneers to own personal weapons tailored to their specific requirements. Think of it this way -- if you were being paid for your marksmanship would you rather use a rifle owned by a stranger that you have never fired or your own weapon that you understand intimately? The same applies to a whaling harpoon.
Rcocean is probably thinking of the lance, the killing weapon designed to penetrate the blubber and inflict fatal damage to the whale's internal organs. These were not thrown from a distance but used to stab an already exhausted whale to death. Killing the whale was usually the duty of the whaleboat's coxswain who might have half a dozen lances in the boat because the long iron shaft would often bend as the animal writhed in agony.
The harpoon and lance compared.
How it was used.
"And usually, the harpoon belonged to the Whaling ship, because why would you take it with you?"
This was a Drumbo script, so the workers owned the means of production.
I bet a harpoon would be a great thing to have if you were attacked by a grizzly bear, stand your ground, indeed.
It's stated in the movie that a harpoon is used to latch onto the whale, not to kill it, but that idea isn't really used later. It's just a killing weapon on the man.
There are other things that don't pan out properly, which might not be the scriptwriter's fault. Most notably, the bad guy (whom you see in the shootout) has something wrong with his right hand that requires him to wear gloves and to shoot with his left hand. That's developed in the beginning as we see him move oddly and explain it. But we never learned the backstory on the injury, and this special fact about him had no bearing on anything later in the movie!
" That would trigger your spidey sense, and you could plan accordingly. A scalpel, which can be wielded in an instant, is definitely creepier."
Yes, what it does to you emotionally is very different.
I don't like movies that rely on the startle effect for excitement. I feel used. It works on me, but that makes me want to avoid the game. Horror movies are the worst in this regard.
"I bet a harpoon would be a great thing to have if you were attacked by a grizzly bear, stand your ground, indeed."
Never bring a Harpoon to a Grizzley fight.
I'd perfer a Winchester 73
OTOH, who expects the Spanish inquistion - or a Harpoon?
Gloves or no Gloves. Who thinks Sebastian Cabot could best Sterling Hayden?
Too bad Harpooning someone isn't legal. I'd love to harpoon Jonah Goldberg.
He's a whale of a man.
Ann, you might want to avoid the last few minutes of the Coen brothers’ excellent first movie, Blood Simple. What Frances McDormand does to M. Emmitt Walsh…well, in the immortal words of Roger Ebert, if you’re squeamish, that scene will make you squeam.
One of the stupidest, badly directed and produced westerns ever. And I like Hayden a lot. But a harpoon...a harpoon!..so lame. Almost as lame as the stock music.
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