November 5, 2021

A look into how people talk at Microsoft.

42 comments:

Yancey Ward said...

I am a white man, my pronoun is "Fuck You".

rehajm said...

The new Clippy…

Menahem Globus said...

Way to appropriate Mohican culture white devil.

madAsHell said...

Drum circles are very popular at Microsoft. I think it explains their lack of innovation.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

Is that a joke? Is that an SNL skit? or are we in hell now?

Lurker21 said...

My pronouns are I, me, and mine.

Please use them when addressing me.

John Borell said...

You want more Trump? This is how you get more Trump.

I’m John. I’m wearing a black shirt and olive green pants. I have brown hair, though it was much blonder when I was a small child. I have greenish blueish eyes that were very blue when I was little. I had a smoothie for breakfast after working out.

Readering said...

Wacky.

Readering said...

But since Titania is a guy I suppose there is something to be said for looks being deceiving.

gspencer said...

As Hank Hill might say, "These people ain't right."

gilbar said...

i saw this this morning; these people scare me!

The "i'm a Caucasian" seemed the scariest

Mike of Snoqualmie said...

My pronouns are "Your Great Galactic Overlord, Forever Beloved by Cthulhu! You cannot perceive my true countenance, so do not try." Do not forget to shout my pronouns are you are a racist, genderist fool.

Narr said...

"Security Evangelist"? World of wonders.

PM said...

She means 'herstory'.

Achilles said...

Racism and tribalism are the heart of this corporate government alliance. This is the endgame for the National Socialists.

Everyone divided and a member of a group. No individuals. None.

That way responsibility can be not only effectively ignored for individuals in the ruling caste, it can also be used to control entire groups.

It is a primitive ruling system and social hierarchy.

The people pushing this must be defeated at all costs.

rhhardin said...

Ladies should also give their chest size (in inches and also kilometers) for blind audience members and Europeans.

Gahrie said...

My pronouns are: "His Majesty" and "His Most Serene Highness". If we're being informal you can refer to me as "El Jefe".

Saint Croix said...

That is so fucking weird.

I don't know why it screams "lack of humanity" to me, but it really does. Like a really fucked up computer program.

They've been programmed to speak a certain way. And so they speak a certain way. Like robots.

Unreal.

gilbar said...

serious question
do they think that they are on the radio (or an audio podcast)???
because, they are describing things we can SEE

I have Long Blonde Hair!!
*I* have Glasses!!!!!!!!!

Wince said...

My pronouns are she-it.

Saint Croix said...

That clip is so disturbing. I'm trying to understand why it freaks me out so much.

1) Normal people don't talk that way.

2) Both of them are doing it, so it's like they've been programmed.

3) It's like their minds have been controlled and they aren't human beings.

4) They are describing themselves like they are trying to reassure us that they are human beings. "I have blonde hair." This weird attempt to talk about your human characteristics as part of your introduction is beyond fucking weird. It's exactly how an alien or a robot would talk, if they were trying to convince us that they are human. Instead of reassuring me that you're a human being -- something I can detect just by fucking looking at you -- this reductionist stupidity makes me wonder what the fuck is the matter with you?

5) You've failed to introduce yourself as a human being. You're announcing yourself as less-than-human, as some fucked up robot with an idiot for a programmer.

6) If you had any humanity at all you would say, "I am paid money to talk like this."

Scot said...

Hi, my name is Mo Torola.
I am big endian.
I have a token ring.
Please address me on Layer 6 by SSL.

To MicroSoft, I am invisible.
They are endianists.

Chris Lopes said...

Working for Microsoft is cheaper than joining the Church of Scientology, but no less damaging to your mind.

Narr said...

Dude is totes making the universal 8th-grader's (8th-former's?) 'eat me' sign during blondie's introduction.

Cool.

Jeff said...

This is stock market mavens call a sell signal for Microsoft.

Kathryn51 said...

This clip doesn't include the worst part:

"First, we want to acknowledge that the land where the Microsoft campus is situated was traditionally occupied by Sammamish, the Duwasmish, the Snoqualmie, the Muckleshoot, the Snohomish, the Tulalip, and other Coast Salish peoples since time immemorial. A people that are still here, continuing to honor and to bring to light their ancient heritage.

“My name is Allison Wines, I’m a senior program manager in our developer tools division. I’m an Asian white female, with dark brown hair, wearing a red sleeveless top.”
"

I've been having trouble posting the html tag, but here is the link if you wish to cut/paste: https://redstate.com/mike_miller/2021/11/05/microsoft-mocked-for-utterly-bananas-employee-introductions-n470761


effinayright said...

Imagine you're back in the late 1970's and early '1980's. Idiot Hare Krishnas, crazed Scientology zombies and L. Ron Hubbard golems get into your faces at airports and other public venues, ALL demanding that you join them.

You fall into a coma for forty years, and finally wake to see: the sons and daughters of those idiot Hare Krishnas, crazed Scientology zombies and L. Ron Hubbard golems are commonplace. Only now they are joined by the brain-dead "Woke" who yammer on about "equity, inclusion and diversity", and claim the world's gonna end in exactly 11 years because a trace gas in the atmosphere is gonna cook us all....

You further learn that they infest all of society, relentless hectoring and demanding that you submit, submit, submit.....

Myself, I'd ask that my coma be re-induced.

Mr. Majestyk said...

Good Lord. To think that someone in a major corporation actually thought that this was a good idea...it just boggles the mind. And these two fools go along with it. How could they not die of embarrassment?

Yancey Ward said...

As Narciso would put it- "They are pod people. Prove me wrong."

Bunkypotatohead said...

I think I now understand the term "fake and gay".

JMW Turner said...

So glad to be entering the last phase of this ridiculous existence...

Blair said...

Remember how we used to laugh at David Icke when he said our society had been infiltrated by shape shifting lizards? Videos like this make me wonder...

L said...

My pronouns are "Grammar" and "Prescriptionist." You only need use 'em if I'm not present.

Pronoun mania is founded on willed ignorance of what pronouns are for. And zhey know it.

Lewis Wetzel said...

No need to worry! Libertarians assure us that the free market will punish MS for wasting resources by policing the speech and behaviour of its employees. The invisible, but firm hand of Adam Smith always pushes people towards FREEDOM!

Ron Winkleheimer said...

There is another one out where they spend time acknowledging all the Amerindian (or is it First Nations now) tribes that inhabited the land that Microsoft's campus is located on.

https://twitter.com/i/status/1456344147103653889

To be fair, describing themselves seems to be the sort of thing that a particularly dim-witted progressive would come up with in order to be more inclusive towards people who are "differently sighted."

By the way, "Security Evangelist" is code for "I spend my days talking about how important security is to people who probably already know that. Of course, that doesn't mean security gets any better, cause it costs time and money with no real ROI, but we act like we give a shit, and that's enough."

Magson said...

I "attended" the Ignite conference this week, and when the presenters described themselves like this, it was definitely very awkward

Them: "I'm a half white, half Asian woman with short brown hair wearing a crimson shirt and slacks." "I'm a tall Hispanic man wearing a polo shirt and khakis."

Me: So what? What does this have to do with anything?

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

Saint Croix - good point. They do sound like programmed robots. .. from the factory.

Tina Trent said...

What comes after the demand to describe your hairstyle and clothes?

Tampon brand?

Penis size?

My father came home from a work conference in the early 80’s fuming with rage. His company, one of the largest in America, had passed out little embroidered bees and told their employees to sew them onto their underpants to remind them to be “busy bees.” They also threw dollar bills from the stage and employees were egged on to fight for them. Attendance was mandatory.

Of course, Robbie Suave and the rest of the Reason Magazine dolts, the free market always sets us free, right?

Achilles said...

I will go with Iconoclasm, and Heresy.

Lurker21 said...

Even if you accept that saying your race and gender before large groups of people is now appropriate and necessary you might puzzle over why physical descriptions of the face became necessary before references to sexual orientation. Maybe a large part of the audience is blind (but not blind from birth since visual appearance wouldn't mean so much to them)?

There may be a connection to the "on the spectrum" tech culture. Maybe people at Microsoft are used to dropping non-sequiturs in conversation and the new etiquette orders and organizes the irrelevant remarks into a more conventional less disconcerting form. Expect Biden to pick up this usage as a way of organizing his own brain droppings.

I didn't realize "Asian white" is now used to describe people (as well as narcotics?), but I kind of hope it catches on.

And yes, Joseph Stalin was a Caucasian male. Maybe he started all this.

daskol said...

Ladies should also give their chest size (in inches and also kilometers) for blind audience members and Europeans.

It would be ok if they just chose their best feature and described it.

Biff said...

Now ask yourself how much of your most sensitive, personal information and the data of the companies and organizations that you engage with are in the hands of these people and their co-religionists.