October 28, 2021

Facebook's new name is: Meta.

Eh.

I'm not making a new tag for this.

ADDED: At NY Magazine, Choire Sicha opines
Most notably, Zuckerberg and Vishal Shah, Facebook’s head of metaverse projects, made a big pitch about the metaverse to creators in this presentation. “Commerce is going to be a big part of the metaverse,” said Shah. Creators — funny people, famous people, game streamers, cooking influencers, just generally hot people, makeup and beauty trendsetters, momfluencers, rogue therapists, financial pitchbros — are the backbone of the TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram ecosystems. Notably, they’re absolutely not a part of Facebook....
This video presentation was preceded by a short video in which Zuckerberg vaguely berated haters.... Zuckerberg attended a virtual meeting on this “embodied internet” at a space station where people were dressed like aliens and robots (Zuckerberg put on a Zuckerberg outfit) and also couldn’t identify anyone.... 
The [leaked] documents... show that the company is panicked about how much young people hate Facebook — “The teen brain is stimulated by novelty,” one internal document asserted....

Let's find that video. Here it is, looking like a sequence in a satirical scifi movie:

 

Is that really it? Or is that someone's satire? I think it's an animation, not the actual person, if such an entity indeed exists. There's also this:

 

And this (jeez, this is endless — how can he possibly think we could tolerate him talking at us for so long?!):

41 comments:

rehajm said...

Eh.I'm not making a new tag for this.

That's probably the best burn we'll hear today...

gilbar said...

it seems, like That's not so much their Name... As About their name

Kevin said...

Meta sounds like the name of a new Muppet.

One that has rainbow-colored fur and is always using new pronouns to talk about itself in the third person.

Dave Begley said...

Was Big Brother already taken?

Mike of Snoqualmie said...

Better name: Zero.

Michael Ryan said...

So, now if you call something "meta" they can sue you for trademark infringement?

Chuck said...

“New Coke” was already taken. So was “Edsel.”

MadisonMan said...

More like Meh.

R C Belaire said...

They could call it Nirvana and I still wouldn't sign up; the many and varied blogs are far preferable.

Barry Dauphin said...

Zuckerberg loved studying the classics? When exactly? It's meta weird.

Wince said...

A creepy fuck doing a shitty Steve Jobs impression.

TheOne Who Is Not Obeyed said...

And since it's Zuck, Trump won't be allowed into this meta-verse thing. It will be a safe space for all those folks who can't hack reality. You know, those people who insist they are part of the "reality-based community".

And when all of these creators discover that what they're creating has no import or impact on the real world, they'll all have to leave their parents' basement and go get real jobs in the real world.

rehajm said...

Ah, so I get it now- Facebook is for your nana. Meta is for you...get off TikTok!

Ann Althouse said...

"More like Meh."

Too much effort. I'm not that excited.

wendybar said...

Fuck Zuckerberg. Stuff Meta up Fakebook for all I care!!!

KellyM said...

Why don't they go back to "Lifelog"? I bet the CIA isn't using it anymore.

Chris Lopes said...

The Russian secret police changes its name every so often too.

Leland said...

I wonder how long before Movies Anywhere sues for trademark infringement?

pacwest said...

Zuckerberg is investing a immense amount into VR, presumably because he thinks it is the coming thing. They are selling their current HMD (head mounted display) at a loss trying to gain marketshare but there are a lot of well placed players competing with him. Most notably PSVR and Steam/HTC.

I think he is making a major mistake here. VR just isn't that popular (only 10 million headsets in current use, and the tech isn't fully up to speed yet). VR is still in the "we use the computer for storing recipes" stage. He's said he sees VR making up 50% of the Metaverse, but that percentage is still 20 years away. He's too early to the game.

Joe Smith said...

It will either bomb or be wildly successful...there will be no in-between.

I wouldn't bet against the guy...

wildswan said...

MetaZucker - Facebook troll

Owen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amadeus 48 said...

Meta--Do they mean "most effective tactic available?" Hmmm...could be.

This reminds me of the episode in The Wire where Stringer Bell realizes he has to call the Barksdales' heavily diluted drugs by a different name. Get your "Red Tops"!

Owen said...

Word game: Meta = “Meat” and “Mate” and (almost) “Eat Me”.

That’s what I yell at the screen when this creep shows up, selling us vast quantities of smarm.

I also note that “Meta” goes well with “Stasis,” like when that cancer shifts into high gear and seeds itself all over its victim.

tim maguire said...

And so begins the inexorable circle of the drain, like a piece of flotsam that has crossed the event horizon. Hardly perceptible at first, but already its fate is sealed. There is no turning back, no rescuing the situation. I’d say it was fun while it lasted, but it wasn’t all that fun.

NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...

No one says "Alphabet."

Mike of Snoqualmie said...

Meta definition (Merriam-Webster): showing or suggesting an explicit awareness of itself or oneself as a member of its category: cleverly self-referential.

So Facebook is going to look itself in the mirror and say "Good Job, Meta!" while everyone else ignores it.

Mary Beth said...

Meta? Is that short for Metamucil? Hey, why not? Old people like it.

madAsHell said...

Didn't he already do this to the Winklevoss twins??

Sprezzatura said...

“the company is panicked about how much young people hate Facebook”

This seems like a sugar-coated interpretation of the survey data Facebook people are looking at internally. I’d assume Facebook is actually panicked because they know that many (most?) demographic groups, i.e. not just young people, hate Facebook.

Anywho, I think it would have been cool for them to switch back to the original name. Just call them selves “Hot or Not.” Then have Zuck do a presentation where he looks at FB pictures and he tells us if gals are Zuckable or not.

Go with authenticity. Folks are losing interest re phony film flam FB BS.

IMHO.

Bruce Hayden said...

“Meta”. Love to be outside trademark counsel for that. A goldmine. Because, from a trademark point of view, it is horrible. They are trying to preempt and take over an existing word that is, hopefully, ultimately descriptive of their product. In other words, about the worst that they could have done. To make the mark useful, they are going to have to build it through secondary meaning, one user at a time. How long do you think that the first and primary thing on everyone’s mind, when hearing the word is Facebook and not metadata, or Metamucil, etc?

Owen said...

Mary Beth @ 6:51: “…Metamucil?”

Dang. Wish I’d thought of that!

A very apt suggestion, as we contemplate the cultural peristalsis that Zuckerberg has engineered for us.

Zach said...

Am I the only one who actually read Snow Crash? It's really good, honest!

Right after Stephenson introduces the Metaverse, he explains that it's impossible to have a real conversation or form a real connection in virtual reality because none of the million subtextual cues that accompany a real conversation are conveyed by the medium.

Hiro's girlfriend Juanita is the only one who paid attention to touchy feely stuff like that, which is why they're the only two people who can have a real conversation in the Metaverse.

LA_Bob said...

Owen said, "Dang. Wish I’d thought of that!"

No, your "meta" + "stasis" idea was better and more relevant. Zuckerberg is something of a cancer on our culture. I think his virtual-reality ambition is just a way for him to become a "meta-billionaire" to funnel more money into wacky woke Democratic causes.

Maybe in a few elections everyone will vote from / in the "metaverse".

Zach said...

Notice that for all the focus on virtual reality, the actual pitch is made by Zuckerberg in person, in nice lighting, smiling and giving big hand gestures.

Hey, I wonder if the VR rigs are going to show your full facial expression in nice lighting and allow you to use subtle body language cues? All the ones I've ever seen just cover your eyes and have maybe a couple of little dongles you can hold in your hands.

Probably nothing. Forget I mentioned it.

Bunkypotatohead said...

Zuckerberg is like those middle age employers in that other thread. His 20 something employes don't care about the company product, and have even less enthusiasm for work than he does.
He should probably sell it all and let the kids turn it into tiktokagram, for those with 5 second attention spans.

amr said...

Ron Artest had this idea ten years ago.

Michael said...

Read "Snowcrash."

Paul said...

Need to re-name Facebook ZuckSuck.

PM said...

Can't wait to ride an elevator in Ray-Bans and tell people I'm at Monte Alban in Mexico. Actually, I can't wait to ride an elevator with more than 4 people.

mikemtgy said...

NOT Steve Jobs!