"She isn’t transgender and doesn’t want to be called 'they' or 'them,' nor does she like the term 'nonbinary,' though she knows it is likely how people see her in her androgynous clothes and beanies and ball caps. 'I think it’s a preference of what words feel comfortable,' she says. 'Why does the word "woman" make me feel uncomfortable, but "girl" always feels fine? Female feels fine. I mean, it’s just like some words I like and feel like me and make me not have to think, because on a normal day I just don’t really like thinking about myself in these adjectives or descriptive-like columns.'"
From "Olympics/She has an MIT degree and doesn’t think skateboarding’s a sport. But she plans to win a medal" (WaPo).
"She" is Alexis Sablone, and the sport is divided into men's and women's events. The plan to medal is as a woman.
It's interesting to see this hint of a comeback for the word "girl," and I can understand a young person's feeling that "woman" seems overly mature and stodgy.
And I'm going to look out for the eclipsing of homosexuality. Is it going to go out of fashion and become, once again, the love that dare not speak its name... this time because it's "too gendered"?
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7 comments:
Paul writes:
"You're spot on to be on the lookout for "the eclipsing of homosexuality."
"What if homophobia never went away? What if it just evolved into something more insidious (and woke)?
"I recently heard a young-ish acquaintance describe herself as a "lesbian," and it was incredibily refreshing. Be forthright about yourself, and use the most commonly-understood term. Don't be evasive and use fancy terms, or refuse to use a term. That projects fear and internalized homophobia.
"When did "lesbian" become a dirty word -- again?
"As a gay man of a certain age (is 35 a certain age?), I remember when coming out was considered crucial. There was really a coming out "movement." Where has that movement gone? Are any prominent voices imploring people to come out anymore? No, because coming out is now considered passé. Better to just be low-key, and not limit yourself by defining yourself. That attitude is enabling great numbers of people to stay in the closet.
"There are tons, tons of people still in the closet, in 2021! I see it on dating apps all the time, with blank or "discreet" profiles. Wokeness is enabling it. The forefronting of gender and the backburnering of sexual orientation are enabling it.
"Please continue to watch this issue like a hawk and keep blogging about it. I'm worried that we're moving backward, and being gay or lesbian is now being stigmatized in a new, innovative way.
"Thanks as always for your commentary!"
Joe writes:
"Btw, if you called a 34-year-old woman a 'girl' in the workplace you'd be fired."
I'll say:
Yes, but if we are following whatever pronouns a fellow worker expresses a preference for, why wouldn't there be pressure, going forward, to follow the preferred nouns too? If women are going to start saying "woman doesn't suit me" and "the word 'girl' is what I want to be used for me," then the day may come when you'll be fired for failing to say "girl" and call her a "woman."
Assistant Village Idiot writes:
"Okay, she does divide the ambiguities in an interesting way, but clever people can put clever words to things. It doesn't necessarily mean they have better self-understanding. Eventually, one is just playing chess against oneself."
She repeatedly expresses a desire and intent to try to be herself. She doesn't claim superiority, just pushes the notion of being yourself. As we used to say in the 60s: Do your own thing. It doesn't take a lot of brain power, and you don't even need to succeed. You're just dedicated to the principle.
Nancy writes:
"I’ve listened to quite a few Fran Lebowitz talks and interviews and I was surprised that she always refers to herself and other women as girls. I thought it was both interesting and charming. I suspect she, like Sablone, finds the word “overly mature and stodgy” and Lebowitz is 70."
Jack writes:
"There is a theory of history that the world moves in spiral cycles, featuring some things that circle back but at a higher or lower plane. So history neither repeats itself exactly nor does it have a semi-linear arc that some claim. I always viewed woke-ism as fitting the spiral cycles format - it will not exist as it does currently for much longer. Many reasons for that: loss of political advantage, reaction of the next generation, flaws becoming evident over time, self-contradictions that can no longer be papered over, etc. This article fits my view ~ a person reacting against the woke orthodoxy.
"Personally, I have always liked using boys and girls when referring to the sexes as it implies a familiar friendliness and a recognition that we so often are acting out of childish motivations. It also cuts through the insufferable posturing of so many.
"The article reminds me of an experience I had in graduate school. At that time you could get into football games by showing a student ID. I needed one for my girlfriend so I asked in a small class setting if any of the “girls’ would be willing to lend me their ID. One classmate answered that I would have better success if I asked the “women” if they would lend a card. Mind you, this was a time when I referred to myself as a boy. At what age are we supposed to call a female a woman? 18? 16? Younger? After all the age of consent is as young as 14 in some states. Or is it the strategy of the woke to simply keep us confused and incapable of complying with their ever changing acceptable “norms”?"
"Girls" sounds friendly. We've kept it all these years in "girlfriend." And it's hung around in phrases like "girls night out." Social things. It sounds more fun to be a girl. We've kept the word "girly," and we easily distinguish "girly" and "womanly."
We have a female Vice President now, and her most famous quote was: "That little girl was me."
Jessica writes:
"Caveat: I’m a millennial so much of the etiquette of bygone eras is lost to me.
"When I was very young, my grandmother told me that I should prefer the term “lady” rather than “woman.” “Woman” somehow was low class—as in, “Woman, get over here!” (She also insisted ladies didn’t ever use toothpicks.) Was this preference for “lady” widespread or just her quirk?"
I'll say:
Yes, "lady" was the proper way to refer to women — back when you referred to a man as a "gentleman." It was rude to say "There's a woman here to see you" or "There's a man here." It was like saying there's a "dame" or a "guy." It was mainly the Boomers and the 70s era Women's Movement that made the changed in preference.
Your grandmother may have been quirky but that particular idea was absolutely mainstream.
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