February 9, 2021

"Semicolons are ugly, pretentious and unnecessary; they immaturely try to have it both ways."

"There are so many things to fear in life, but punctuation is not one of them. That semicolons, unlike most other punctuation marks, are fully optional and relatively unusual lends them power; when you use one, you are doing something purposefully, by choice, at a time when motivations are vague and intentions often denied.... Are they ugly? That’s an opinion. Theodor Adorno said they looked like 'a drooping mustache,' but in his view, that’s good — all punctuation marks, and the downtrodden semicolon especially, are 'friendly spirits whose bodiless presence nourishes the body of language'; they ought to be defended. What’s more: Why does your text message, email, tweet, article or book need to be pretty? Is that not also a little pretentious? According to Kurt Vonnegut’s often-taught (and, if you read the full quote, both a little ironic and offensive) advice, 'all they do is show you’ve been to college,' but these days anyone can look up how to use a semicolon.... That semicolons aren’t popular on social media — where oversimplification and directness reign and the presence of too much grammatical flair is likely to limit 'engagement' — is perhaps the only argument some readers will need to be convinced of their value."

61 comments:

LordSomber said...

According to Kurt Vonnegut’s often-taught (and, if you read the full quote, both a little ironic and offensive) advice, 'all they do is show you’ve been to college,'

Ironies! No one reads Vonnegut after college.

Sebastian said...

"there is absolutely no downside"

There is, if you do it wrong.

But how long before the use of semicolons is declared a racist exercise in white privilege?

wendybar said...

Or you can say....""The NY Times is ugly, pretentious and unnecessary; they immaturely try to have it both ways."" Same thing.

Jay Vogt said...

I try to stay away from them; they can be used, but they're messy (for me).

Kevin said...

American slaves were not permitted to use semicolons; that makes them racist.

Anne-I-Am said...

Vonnegut. He, like I, learned the use of the semicolon in high school. he attended what was, at the time, one of the best public schools in the country--Shortridge HS in Indianapolis. The school published a daily newspaper.

I was taught the use of the semicolon in 9th grade; it is my favorite punctuation mark.

Jay Vogt said...

I've blundered one or two right here. Now, maybe three.

jaydub said...

First; I'd like to hear the semicolon grammar lesson from Whiskeybum.

wendybar said...

This is news, but still NOTHING about the Biden family corruption. Go back to sleep now...

stevew said...

Big fan, BIG fan of the semicolon. I rarely see it used by people that don't understand its purpose so it is not misused or abused in my experience. So long as it serves a function why object to its usage? It is amusing that the NYT sees fit to publish a story about this controversy. Slow news day, as they say.

Shawn Levasseur said...

"semicolons aren’t popular on social media"

TL;DR: Olyer is uninformed about the term "TL;DR" and it's popularity in social media.

John Borell said...

I'm a firm believer in the semicolon; I employ it between two main clauses.

Tank said...

Tank loves the semicolon.

Kai Akker said...

3 for 3 on NYT so far today, YEEEESSSSSS!!

Give us MOAR

J L Oliver said...

Semicolons make an intimacy between two complete thoughts that separate sentences cannot express.

gilbar said...

How Could ANYONE be against semicolons?
Don't get me wrong; i like tube amplifiers as much (or MORE!) than the next bloke)...
But the practicality of solid state electronics can Not be denied.
And, without semicolons, you'd have NO solid state electronics!
No Diodes, No Transistors, No Integrated Circuits
The energy savings alone should make us All glad to live in a world with semicolons

Wait? Semi COLONS? sorry, i thought we were talking about semiconductors!

NCMoss said...

I'd like to hear from Doctor Mike if a semi-colonoscopy is needed; in this case a second opinion seems a wise choice.

Carol said...

Oh dear, and I love semicolons too.

Can we talk about the rampant use of ugly transitions like "Fast forward..."?

Or its uglier cousin, "Flash forward..."?

How about that Reddit fave, "Long story short,.."?

Temujin said...

Ann, I view you as someone who is not a fan of the semicolon, and would use it only sparingly; yet you posted an article about them. Hmm. You might be a closet semicolonist.

Q: How do you remove a semicolon?
A: You go get a semicolonoscopy.

Just one reason my wife makes me work on the other side of the house.

Francisco D said...

I get the sense that Althouse would have liked to be a HS English teacher.

chuck said...

I learned about semicolons by reading Orwell's essays.

JPS said...

Semicolons are very useful, but I used to overuse them hugely. Everything in moderation.

tcrosse said...

Down with Western Semicolonialism!

Whiskeybum said...

jaydub said...
First; I'd like to hear the semicolon grammar lesson from Whiskeybum.


At your service! Re-posting:

Good Grammar rule for Feb. 3:

Use the semicolon properly, always where it is appropriate; and never where it is not.

(You may now apply this rule to your request above.) :-)

Ken B said...

One must distinguish between the use and mention of semi-colons.

Ken B said...

Jaydub wins the thread.

Sam L. said...

I trust nothing in/from the NYT. (The WaPoo, too!)

Joe Smith said...

Semicolons should never be used; 'damn!'

Also, there's a literary digestion joke here somewhere...

Fernandinande said...

A demicolon would last longer.

Clark said...

Definitely my favorite punctuation mark. Periods mean six feet of distance between sentences. Who wants that? Dickens was the master.

Dan in Philly said...

https://youtu.be/M94ii6MVilw

We use semi colons ever day.

Ice Nine said...

>>"That semicolons, unlike most other punctuation marks, are fully optional "<<

Only if you don't understand their purpose and their utility.

Not Sure said...

Semicolons make an intimacy between two complete thoughts that separate sentences cannot express.

Step aside, Strunk & White.

Joe Smith said...

I always think of semicolons as a pause shorter than a period...has always seemed to work.

Wince said...

Semicolons included?

Colectomy is a surgical procedure to remove all or part of your colon.

Howard said...

Microsoft word tells me where and when to deploy semicolons.

Goddess of the Classroom said...

I teach 8th grade English, including grammar (usage, punctuation, capitalization, etc.)
Semicolons correct comma splices and run-on sentences, which are FAR more annoying.

gspencer said...

Aren't semi-colons the separator-of-BlueBook-choice in giving string citations?

effinayright said...

Is a "semi-colonic" where they put the nozzle only halfway in?

Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...

If you are a writer paid $.10 per character for your column, and alternatives for joining two sentences are:
"...wxyz. Abcd..."
"...wxyz; abcd..."
"...wxyz, and abcd..."

The choice is clear.

PM said...

I use the lazy dash instead of the semicolon which, in these times, is spending more and more time in emoticonville.

Douglas B. Levene said...

Semicolons are very popular in text messaging ;-)

Fernandinande said...

Mr. Language Person says:

OK! Let's move on to our first language question, submitted by a regular person just like you, except that you actually exist.

What is the correct usage of the semicolon?

The semicolon is used to create a needed pause in a sentence:

Wrong: "OK Bob let's move this piano downstairs no wait WAIT NOOOO OWWWW."

Right: "OK Bob let's move this piano downstairs no wait QUICK STICK A SEMICOLON IN THERE; good catch Bob man that was close."

But then he gives a different answer:

Q: What is the purpose of the semicolon?

A: It can be used to either (1) separate two independent clauses, or (2) indicate an insect attack.

EXAMPLES:
(1) ''Well, I'm a clause that certainly doesn't need any help!''; ''Me either!''
(2) ''Be careful not to bump into that ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; AIEEEEEEE!''

Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...

Whiskeybum @9:31

Use of both semicolon and conjunctive is duplicatively redundant.

;)

Narr said...

Once again the early nerds have beat me to the grammar discussion; the price of early to bed and late to rise, I suppose.

Narr
Hemi-demi-semicolonist

Fernandinande said...

It is time once again for Ask Mister Language Person, the advice column written by the world's No. 1 foremost leading authority on grammar, syntax, podiatry and using big words to physically harm your opponent.
...

Q. What is the purpose of the colon?

A. The colon forms a barrier alerting the reader not to go any farther in the sentence.

EXAMPLE: "Earlene, you will never in a million years guess what the doctor found in there: A gerbil."

...

Q. How come so many women love horses, which are big and dirty and smelly and stupid and go to the bathroom all over the place, and yet women are highly critical when men exhibit exactly these qualities?

A. That is a good question.

traditionalguy said...

Looking down on semi-colons is hubris. It does look like a transgendered mark that feels like a period stuck in comma’s body. Have mercy on them.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

I'm another semicolon addict, and have been since high school. Is it overuse? Well, probably; still, works for me. Between the semicolons and the parens and the dashes, I've got a "writing style" of sorts, one that seems to suit what I try to write (CD reviews mostly, these days).

Howard said...

Every boy was in love with our 8th grade English teacher. It was her first year teaching. I can't remember anything about grammar or punctuation.

Chick said...

First they came for the semicolon; and I said nothing.

stlcdr said...

Hah! I was just writing some documentation, and Word kept on complaining that 'semicolons are seldom used, here' and wants to correct it. Word is wrong.

Richard Dolan said...

Semicolons will live on for as long as people send an email to more than one addressee. Even the wokesters at the NYT can't cancel that.

stonethrower said...

No, Splanky, but you're close.

First they came for the Oxford comma, and you said nothing; then they came for the semicolon, ...

tim in vermont said...

I was once talking to a writer for the Miami Herald at a party and the subject of semicolons came up, only God knows why, and she said that they were not allowed to use them since they were aiming their writing at the sixth grade level, but it only takes education to know how to use them, not how to read them.

Narr said...

Anne-I-Am, that's insteresting. IIRC the young (1930s) KV was quite the admirer of the newly proud Germans; at least, if his own testimony is to be credited.

Narr
Nobody famous went to my high school (or will admit to it)

Narr said...

Interesting. Insteresting too.

Narr
Verry intsterestink!

Michael said...

"...semicolons aren’t popular on social media..."

Rule of thumb: good things are not popular on social media. Bad things are.

ken in tx said...

I thought Strunk & White said a semicolon should be called a semi-period; you use it between two sentences that belong together. Does anybody still use Strunk & White?

Mikio said...

"Semicolons make an intimacy between two complete thoughts that separate sentences cannot express."

Step aside, Strunk & White.


No kidding! That was so much put very well as to be an elegant comment on these pages of pixelated brain thoughts.

Mikio said...

^(My screen name kinda ruins it, but, oh well.)^

friscoda said...

Best line about a semi-colon ever from Jimmy Breslin re David Berkowitz, a.k.a. Son of Sam killer,


>>David Berkowitz, the Son of Sam serial killer who taunted police and the press with rambling handwritten notes, was, as the columnist Jimmy Breslin wrote, the only murderer he ever encountered who could wield a semicolon just as well as a revolver.<<