February 27, 2021

Questions.

50 comments:

Oso Negro said...

This could be a question on the oral exam for a PhD in Astrophysics in the event that we just don't go all the way and award them to BIPOCs at birth.

Can Of Cheese for Hunter said...

Whenever I am in complete distress... music is the last thing I want to hear. Food is the last thing I want to eat. Full adrenaline-stress take over. Nothing matters.

However, if YOU are the Cuomo behind your wife's "kidnapping" - then I suggest some smooth jazz.

Achilles said...

Are they trying to ask men actual questions?

This would depend on the man.

If the man is going to be useful in the situation where their significant other is kidnapped in a foreign country they would have discussed it with you before you went on vacation. They would have discussed what to do when you get separated, how to make yourself a hard target, how we are going to monitor the kids.

And no. There would be no music.

Skin care would be limited to reducing your scent profile in the local environment.

gilbar said...

for the men:
Your wife has been kidnapped ... You’re driving to rescue her

for the women:
Your man has been kidnapped .... You were cooperating with the police, now sitting at home

for the men: motivational music on the way to Someone's death?
for the women: skin care ROUTINE ?

tim in vermont said...

I guess this is the “new math” where ambiguous questions are to be asked because questions that imply that there is a correct answer foster white supremacy. I still think it’s a real tell that they talk all the time about “white supremacy” and not “white supremacism” These people who parse the meaning of every spoken word.

Birches said...

Ahahahaha

Howard said...

Following routine habits during a crisis has a calming effect. Panicking and kvetching do not solve problems, although they do satisfy selfish desires to appear caring and involved. More Gary Cooper, less Peter Finch.

daskol said...

I like these questions so much more than the ones about whether the electric car should kill junior or grandma.

daskol said...

Do you still jerk off, if it's part of your nightly fight against insomnia, and you really need your wits about you in the morning?

Iman said...

That may explain your exuberant usage of teh lotion, Howard. For your “routine”.

Lurker21 said...


I guess this is the "What would Liam Neeson do?" question.

Before that it was the "What would Harrison Ford do?" question.

The answer is you don't listen to music but tightly grip the steering wheel as the background music throbs with an aggressive, domineering beat.

daskol said...

I like these questions so much more than the ones about whether the electric car should kill junior or grandma.

Of course, the real question is should we program the car to kill junior or to kill grandma, and also how reliably can we train the car to distinguish junior from grandma. The misleading way I've seen this question soften the human aspect, and it actually sounds like a mild take from the Skynet era, where the machines are asking who they should kill first.

But these TikTok questions, these are human questions.

Bob Boyd said...

Would I play some music? Of course. Ride of the Valkyries, obviously.

Ken B said...

My answer: you first need to ask yourself if your skin care routine builds white supremacy. If yes, don’t do it.

Fernandinande said...

Do you listen to music on the drive there yes or no

That would depend on what was on the radio.

Sam L. said...

Yes. Ride Of The VAlKYRIES.

Sam L. said...

VALKYRIES, dang it.

Sam L. said...

DANG, Bob beat me to it.

Bob Boyd said...

@ Sam L.

Great minds think alike.
If your wife ever gets kidnapped, call me. I'll go with you. But I expect you to do the same.

Freeman Hunt said...

If my husband's life depends on my being able to single-handedly defeat a den of hardened criminals in physical combat, he is screwed. Might as well put on some moisturizer.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Do you listen to music on the drive there yes or no

Fernandinande said...That would depend on what was on the radio..

Radar Love!!! Play it loud!

I Can't Drive 55

So. Yes!

Dust Bunny Queen said...

The second video assumes that I actually have a routine.

Hah!

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Speed Kills

Nothing like a good hard driving song, a hot desert night, clear skies, killer sound system and a really fast convertible! No matter what the circumstances are.

Rob said...

“So answer it for me. Do with it. Whatever the case may be.” I’ll choose the case of ‘do with it,’ Alex.

Quaestor said...

Sam L. nails it. That was exactly my thought.

If I'm going to the rescue, I'm going heeled for bear. Some very loud Wagner would put me in the mood.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning...

JAORE said...

Miss, we want you to come down to the morgue to identify a body.

Can't right now. My facial mask is still drying.

Howard said...

Locomotive Breath

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Sam L. said... Yes. Ride Of The VAlKYRIES.

I've been ruined by my childhood viewing habits. Ride of the Valkryies makes me hear...Kill da wabbit. Kill da wabbit?

Yancey Ward said...

This is what Howard actually plays.

Yancey Ward said...

Dust Bunny Queen,

Me too!

Howard said...

The eighties never existed for me. Too busy to notice any popular culture. Turns out I missed nothing.

Yancey Ward said...

Then perhaps Howard plays some Bob Seger.

robother said...

Macho "Taken" BS aside, did the ransom note specify any particular song or genre?

KellyM said...

@DBQ: Excellent choices. I add "Panama" to your list?

Achilles said...

We very rarely ever went out looking for someone we were trying to rescue. Most of those cases got pushed up to Green or Blue and still do I assume.

But those cases weren't handled much differently than capture/kill. The techniques and tactics are similar if not almost indistinguishable. A much higher priority is given to unnoticed infiltration and there is usually a lot more planning.

The most significant difference was the emotional attachment to the mission involved.

People were more likely to play Flight of the Valkyries on the way to a capture/kill.

You could have an interesting discussion about focus and level of involvement. Some missions things get routine. They actually designed our rotations around analysis of death rates. For the first X days they were higher as people adjusted. Then after adjustment they stayed low until a certain point and they would start to go up again. At some point they determined that the initial investment in the higher death rates at the start was being overshadowed by the loss of concentration and fall into routine.

Quaestor said...

DBQ writes: I've been ruined by my childhood viewing habits.

Attend a live performance of a Ring-cycle music drama (NOT opera!). It's a life-changing experience.

Except when the so-called artistic director dresses the singers in hand-me-downs from Goodwill, which is all too common these days. All part of the decline and fall of Western Civilization, I suppose. Imagine Heraclitus, Aristotle, Pericles, Caesar, Da Vinci, Shakespeare, and the Brontë sisters viewing our decrepit democracy from their lofty perch in the Hereafter and being astounded at how fast all their careful work is being undone since the Democrats have gotten their mitts on it. It's like handing over the Louvre collection to a troop of baboons.

The Crack Emcee said...

I don't like discovering the shallowness of other people's lives.

Achilles said...

The Crack Emcee said...

I don't like discovering the shallowness of other people's lives.

damnit man...

Achilles said...

that harshed the mellow

and he is right

trying to make this a good thing

going to the gym

Howard said...

That's a nice Chickenhawk anthem, Yancey.

Quaestor said...

DBQ writes: I've been ruined by my childhood viewing habits.

Perhaps those were your childhood viewing wabbits?

Don't get me wrong. I love Warner Bros. cartoons, especially the works of Chuck Jones and Bob McKimson. I also love the music of grumpy old Jew-baiting Dick Wagner, which only goes to show why the art and the artist are best kept on separate shelves. Milt Franklin and Michael Maltese also loved those Wagnerian tunes, which is why they're heard in bits and snatches throughout the entire WB cartoon canon from the early 40s to about 1960, they used a whole bunch of Mendelssohn as well. Then Bill Lava took over and used his own stupid compositions instead of freely borrowing from the masters. That pretty much cooked the WB goose. Cooked it to deep, crusty, charcoal black.

Quaestor said...

Yancy Ward writes: This is what Howard actually plays.

Nah! Howard is rickrolled all the way to his risible rescue rendezvous.

Quaestor said...

I don't like discovering the shallowness of other people's lives.

Yeah. I know what you're talking about.

It's like looking into an old well. At the bottom, there's often a little pool of water. So you look down and what do you see? Your own puss staring back at you.

Howard said...

You complete me

The Godfather said...

I'm in the passenger seat, loading .45 ammo into extra magazines. The young-ish John Wayne is driving. He can listen to whatever the f*ck he wants.

Biff said...

I made it twenty seconds into the TikTok video before my GetToThePointAlready meter was overloaded. If I were her fiancé, I probably would ask the kidnappers to let me stay kidnapped.

Alcibiades said...

I think you do whatever you can do to keep yourself from freaking out and panicking, so you stay functional for the next day.

The answer will be idiosyncratic.

Rusty said...

Is this before or after I stop at the bar for a couple of pops and watch the game and then go to Wendys?

Tom said...

So, my play list will include:

Danger Zone
Radar Love
Running Down Dream
Twilights Zone
Eye of the Tiger
Air Tonight
Knight Rider Theme
I am a Passenger
Spy Hunter Theme
Airwolf Theme
Fly Me to the Moon

Zach said...

Reminds me of one of the best gags from Archer:

"Can we have the radio?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aQppP_kTBQ