October 21, 2020

Small hole repair.

I needed to buy some 3M High Strength Small Hole Repair, and I got sidetracked into reading the question and answer section at Amazon. This is the most up-voted exchange: 
Question: How many calories does this have? I am looking for an alternative to cream cheese? 

Answer: 1 tbsp of 3M patch plus has about 30 calories. This is slightly less than 1 tbsp of whipped cream cheese which has about 35 calories. The textures are very similar and it makes great substitute, though there is a slight grittiness from the "nanotechnology". This nanotechnology, a secret ingredient not listed on 3 M's label, a is claimed by competitor company Red Devil to be "little balls of glass". While glass itself is not toxic, it can create a mild constipation such as you might have experienced when eating mud pies or sand cookies.

It's always nice to stumble into a backwater of weird Amazon.  

28 comments:

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

How small of a hole? Odds are white toothpaste will work just as well.

Nonapod said...

My personal favorite Amazon customer review is this one for Kevin Federline's 2007 album "Playing with Fire". (For those who have better things to fill their brains with, Federline was that backup dancer guy that Britteny Spears dated a decade and a half ago)

gilbar said...

Shimmer floor wax and desert topping!

Known Unknown said...

Legendary customer reviews

Wince said...

I was expecting a sledgehammer to be the best repair for a hole that was too small.

Anyway, I noticed the following 94% 5-star reviews for an office chair, but seem to reflect a "FUCKER IN CHARGE (of you fucking fuckers)" nameplate (see image atop reviews).

mockturtle said...

Amazon product Q & A often makes for hilarious reading. Regarding a sturdy folding-leg rectangular table [which I bought for my workshop] someone asked if it was suitable for performing surgery. The answer was yes, but only for children, dwarfs and adults under 5-feet tall.

Skeptical Voter said...

Is Laslo Spatula over there at Amazon these days? You go guy!

mezzrow said...

Google "pica argo starch".

rhhardin said...

I have a bike tire tube still to patch, that has a leak so tiny that you can't find it when the patch is in your hand. Scuffing the rubber up before patching makes the hole unfindable. Someday I'll sacrifice a ballpoint and mark it underwater so I can find it.

Baronger said...

The bic for her pens still can't be topped.

https://www.amazon.com/BIC-Cristal-1-0mm-Black-MSLP16-Blk/dp/B004F9QBE6/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

RigelDog said...

We did a complete remodel of our family after 20+ years of wear and tear. Out with the carpet, in with the can't-tell-it's-not-hardwood vinyl plank flooring. Painted the orange fireplace brick white; installed a gas fireplace. Added crown molding and other trim, painted white, and got professional painters to paint the walls a great neutral off-white that gives just enough contrast with the white trim without darkening the room. And....now I can't imagine hanging any art! Just can't bring myself to put holes in the walls, not because there aren't wonderful products to fill the holes back in, but because there's no way to disguise the holes without re-painting the entire room.

I never imagined that we were painting our way into a bare-walled trap!

Robt C said...

Another classic is all the comments for the book "How to Avoid Big Ships." One of the reviews was from "Iceberg" who wished he had seen the book sooner. Another one misunderstood the title and talked about how he has destroyed toilets of all brands and types . . .

RK said...

Sorta related -- I've lately seen things on Amazon with 5-star ratings where the ratings have been plucked from unrelated items. Someone (Chinese?) has hacked Amazon. For example, ratings for these wireless earbuds are actually for an iPhone case.

Rob said...

My favorite Amazon answers are the ones that say, “I don’t know.” What level of narcissism does it take to imagine that the world is hanging on your answer, even if you have nothing to contribute?

Jim Gust said...

What happened to the reviews for Tuscan Milk? Those were legendary.

Pachydermis2 said...

Is somebody using this stuff, carefully one hopes, to temporarily fix a broken tooth?

Howard said...

Small hole repair... put a cork in it

Jim said...

But if you fix the hole, will it stop your mind from wandering where it will go? In your case, I hope not!

Jim said...

But if you fix the hole, will it stop your mind from wandering where it will go? In your case, I hope not!

FullMoon said...

My favorite Amazon answers are the ones that say, “I don’t know.” What level of narcissism does it take to imagine that the world is hanging on your answer, even if you have nothing to contribute?

Those answers are because Amazon emails customers asking "Can you answer this question?"

I imagine the I don't knows are old geezers with AOL and 256k modems.

Sometimes interesting is looking at a reviewers history. A woman's review for Christmas decorations may lead to info about pets, children, location, size, age, and more intimate details. It's crazy, man, crazy!.

FullMoon said...

And, tying in with a couple of AA's posts today, "Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber"

https://www.amazon.com/Brendas-Beaver-Barber-Bimisi-Tayanita/dp/1946178047?pd_rd_w=psvZp&pf_rd_p=07442e57-5bbc-4b36-bdb2-92a549250cee&pf_rd_r=K0N0PW4AMER1N8PPX9Z5&pd_rd_r=93a3461f-1347-4738-a643-1efe181387a6&pd_rd_wg=2kKQm#customerReviews

FullMoon said...

RigelDog said...

... Just can't bring myself to put holes in the walls, not because there aren't wonderful products to fill the holes back in, but because there's no way to disguise the holes without re-painting the entire room.

I never imagined that we were painting our way into a bare-walled trap!


3M command strips work, surprisingly.

gilbar said...

My favorite Amazon answers are the ones that say, “I don’t know.” What level of narcissism does it take to imagine that the world is hanging on your answer, even if you have nothing to contribute?

Those answers are because Amazon emails customers asking "Can you answer this question?"


i'm sure that's SOME of them. But i read a lot of message boards (about trout fishing), and None of those prompt people to reply.
None the less, about HALF of the responses to a question like:
..[does anyone know if last May's "chico fire" affected Tompson creek by Boone?]
will be responses like:
..[i've never fished Tompson creek, i'm not from that state, but i bet the "chico fire" did a lot of damage (if it got to that area). Fires are BAD, and never used to happen before Trump]

protip: if you don't know an answer, don't post; for At least the first two weeks
if two weeks have gone by, and NO ONE has posted, maybe then; but probably still NO

William50 said...

Is the hole you're fixing anything like Paul's?

madAsHell said...

"I was running naked across the apartment when I slipped, and fell on this cucumber."

Man.....you want weird stories. Talk to an ER doc.

tcrosse said...

A small hole the size of a large hole....

DavidD said...

RK said...
“Sorta related -- I've lately seen things on Amazon with 5-star ratings where the ratings have been plucked from unrelated items. Someone (Chinese?) has hacked Amazon. For example, ratings for these wireless earbuds are actually for an iPhone case.“

I had fishing gear on a wish list—rods or reels or rod-and-reel combos, I forget—that got REPLACED with only tangentially related gear like hooks and such.

I think it’s because stuff has been OUT OF STOCK for so long that some database entries have started disappearing.

mikee said...

Bondo is the go-to repair item for my construction guys. From a cracked oil pan in their work van, to a divot in a Hardieplank, Bondo works.

At the 1-star end of the Amazon Bondo reviews:
"Smells like chemical warfare and old radishes."

If napalm smells like victory, what is Bondo?